Some Strategies to End Purging

[litangel]

I have noticed a couple of threads on purging. I think we all know that purging does not feel good. I did it when I was younger, like many of us, but moved past it pretty quickly.
I have some perspective on what causes purging, and ways to move past it.

First of all purging is a sign that you have two sides of yourself that are in strong disagreement, one is in control when you buy the clothes, the other when you get rid of them. It is like you have a feuding couple inside your head, that are saying a lot of nasty things to each other:devil:, and at times sabotaging each other. The key is to find peace in the inner battle.
The key to the inner battle, is to allow both sides of yourself to be heard. If you are purging, I would actually suggest slowing down how much "dressing up" you do, but spend time reflecting on your feelings about it. One technique for this, is to take a piece of paper, and have a conversation between the two parts of yourself, maybe even use two colors of ink. Allow yourself to be bold and frank on both sides. Looking back, sometimes I did not hear the deep feeling underneath my desire to CD, and once I heard them, it seemed more right, and I felt less guilty. Also, in addition to judging my desires to dress, I judged my judge! I felt angry and not open to the part of myself that didn't want to dress. And I think my hearing that part, and understanding the fear, and societal judgement I had taken on, actually allowed to me move past the judgments.
In my experience, any time we can fully feel and listen to the thoughts in our heads and hearts good things happen.
An even better way to have this inner dialogue, if you are good at role playing, or have a supportive friend who can help, is to either alone, or with a friend as a witness, set up two chairs facing each other in a room, have one represent the part of you that wants to CD, and the other the part that doesn't and have that same dialogue. I have done this and supported probably 1000 other people doing this process on the CD issue and other issues, and it is almost always powerful.

Another trick if you have a lot of inner conflict is to do a lot of reading of books that support trans and CD and a total opening of gender expression, especially those that give powerful historical and philosophical arguments that can counter the judgements we have picked up from society. Gender Outlaw was my favorite, but there are many others.
I think that this board becomes a place you can bring up your fears, and hear responses. I hope that we provide a place for folks to have those fears, and to not just respond, "Oh, you don't need to feel that way" but to really understand and empathize with each other.

[Beverley Sims]

Purge the fear.
Purge the shame.
Purge the inner conflict.
Other than that, purging material things is just a waste.

[noeleena]

Hi,

oh dear'e me what a waste ,

This seems to be about womens clothes heck never did that , whats this about talking to your self saying theres this someone saying dont dress & the other saying do. this is more about not knowing your own mind, or is this about Psychological problems not being faced up to .

if your a male who like's dressing in womens clothes then so be it, whats the problem with that. does it really matter, then the this other person refered to as though she is a total some one else hmmm ...... then refered to in the 2nd person, Schizophrenia, more D.I.D dissociative identity disorder or the pink fog,

thought id just throw that in,

To me its really about accepting ones self fully, are there not many things people do that not every one does, to say only men can do this or that & then say women cant do those things, i find that very strange, i have all my life done things that men or women have done i saw no difference i just did it no thought about it well no need, i did not see male or female for myself it was all the same.

Why is it all a big problem ,oh yes, western thinking is the problem not the clothes, there was no issues in 1400 to 1700 was there , of cause not men & women wore much the same & our group of men & women still do. today. many 1000' of, okay thats the clothes side of the issue, oh hang on a moment , thats not all is there, our men did not try to dress like women as your talking about this has to do with trying to be like women in dress makeup shoes & every thing else,

So thats where it changes, & thats where i bow out because im not a male im a woman. so i see it a bit differently.

Oh & by the way, of our group of over 200 the 80 to 90 men do look pretty good more so for the tough looking one's in lovely colours & all dressed up. oh well im only a woman what would i know any way,

...noeleena...

[Sharon B.]

What I do instead of purging is to box it up in plastic tubs and put it away as we all know the urge will come back. I will go through some of the clothes that I no longer wear and donate them to good will and the rest will go into storage.

[Slip Affinity]

I've gone through the purging thing several times, mostly in my early years; guilt I guess. But now I've become a "hoarder" of my fem things and have way too much of everything.