Why do we do it?

[julie marie1]

I have been crossdressing for 45 years, mostly ashamed and in the closet. Until relatively recently it has not been possible to know that many others share my feelings (the wonders of the internet). It is only recently that I have been able to enjoy what I do without guilt. None the less, the question still remains as to why we are drawn to something that the world finds distasteful. Anybody Have an answer?
Julie Marie

[ArleneRaquel]

My opinion is that we are wired somehow with an inclination that tends toward a favorable disposition on the side of pro crossdressing to varying degrees of course, some, moi for example, more than others. I feel so natural as Arlene and I love to put and makeup and shop, for female items, in person or on the internet. As a male I dislike shopping and and dress very conseratively, as a female I dress less so. I'm flapping in the breeze right now so I will just say that for me living as a woman is a great joy & comfort, I love living this way.

[JenniferR771]

Every baby starts out female (according to science), but male babies are defeminized in the womb, by the action of their testosterone. Perhaps some male babies develop anatomically as males, but the brain is not fully defeminized. The "brain sex" is ambiguous. Not entirely male, but not female either.

Crossdressing may result--or more extreme levels of this phenomenom may result in transexuals--or transexuals may be entirely distinct. No one knows for sure.

[Georgina2]

I fully believe that it is in our DNA and cannot be blamed for what we do and should just carry on without guilt.Agree with Arlene that there are varying levels of dressing and that each will find their own.I for one do not feel fulfilled unless I am fully dressed Including wig and make up.
Welcome to the forum where you will find like minded girls who will help you on your journey.

xxx Georgina xxx

[Brittany CD]

It's different for every guy. I just find female clothing fascinating and I have always liked wigs. Makeup came later just because I can do it

[Slipstream]

My mom told me that her doctor thought I would be a girl and that she was going to name me Karen. (I guess I should use that as my fem name.) She also told me that as a baby I would always rub my fingers on the satin edge of a blanket. I started wearing panties around 5 years old. Even with that said, my gut tells me that I was not born that way. I believe something influenced the behavior.

[vanessa87]

I think we extra-analyzing things and in the end all that matters is that we do what we do because we love it and makes us feel good, thats the point after all. Everyone is perimitted to do whatever he/she likes since he/she doesn't do harm to another person in every way. Personally i love when i am dressing up and i feel so natural as a woman as possibly that can be.

[Kathy4ever]

If there was one true answer I think someone could become rich from it. I cater the idea it's in our dnaa but there alot of us who have tramitic events shape them or were influenced by movie, tv show and maybe from commercials. Commercial do show woman as having more fun and the commercials do cater to woman more and they do have more choices than men. I think I might been jealous in kindergaden by the nursery ryms that were sung. I don't remmeber many saying boys were sweat or cute or any of that stuff. We were always taught to hide our feelings and don't cry and be a man. Then we get older they all of a sudden they want you to show some emotion but of of course not to much. It all does not make since to me.

[litangel]

There are two ways this question can be asked. It can be asked as if we need to explain ourselves for doing some deviant behavior, it which case it is a lousy question. Or it can be asked from a place or deep curiosity and wonder, in which case it is a great question. And I think a large part of the answer is very individual.
I do it because clothes are a language that I care very much about, and I want to tell the world, "I am flowing and curvy, I want to be sought after, I am a being of beauty, I am vulnerable and soft and special, and playful, and a rainbow of color." I do it because when I was 32 I had a dream where there were two cliffs about 6 feet apart, one pink, one blue, and the chasm between them was deep as the Grand Canyon. And I dug my feet into one, and my hands into the other and pulled them together by the force of my body. One of the reasons I am on earth is to heal the chasm between the sexes. I dress because it is a reflection of my soul.
And I think that many of our individual reasons fit in a greater change that human culture is going through, from the culture of separation and competition, to the culture of oneness and beauty.

[danielleinbr]

For me it is just a natural expression of what feels right to me. I dont question it any longer, nor do I feel guilty about who I am. Self hate for expressing who I truly am is, I think, as much of a wrong as hating others, and often much more destructive. So I just try to be a good person, treat others with respect and go on about my business.
Hugs
Danielle:)

[velece]

Slipstream,
That's interesting. I have always rubbed the satin edge of a blanket with my fingers, and it still gives me pleasure. Didn't know the rest until recently, in my case I tend to think I was born with both sexes, but with male hardware. I have always been more attracted to females socially, etc. I am thinking about trying to grow my breasts, I really want the real thing.
Velece

[Nanaya]

No special reason. I just like the clothes. And I don't believe in gender restrictions. Female clothes are just clothes, I don't see them as "female" clothes.

[Celeste]

I think its so important to shake the guilt feelings as soon as possible ,then we can move forward and continue to express ourselves the way we want.Getting some cd friends helped me a lot with the guilt I had.There will always be those who disapprove and nowadays my feelings about them are "so what"!There are men and women who do approve and can deal and I've met them when getting out.You have to see those who can't accept as having that inability or crutch.They have to grow up and rise above this..if they can't accept others for face value in this world, they are truly compromising themselves.

[Beverley Sims]

Why do we do anything?
Because we can.
I am what I am, I enjoy doing what I do and being where I want to be.
Otherwise too much analysis this close to Christmas. :)

[ChelseaErtel]

As can be seen from the replies there are many different reasons. I do it because it makes me look like "ME". I'm transsexual and want to be rid of my man self - naughty bits and all. I've always had a distaste for my own body and desired to be a woman. But that is one end of the spectrum, there are those who just like the clothes and do it occasionally and don't like to do it too often. I never want to wear my man clothing again, but for different reasons. If you ask how many on this site would like to have Gender Reassignment Surgery I guessing it would be a minority.

So, there is not one answer. Just like in general society, the TG society has many different facets.

[Slip Affinity]

For me, I like the feeling of the clothes and it just feels right for me .. plain and simple.

[sometimes_miss]

Well, Julie Marie, you've chosen to not receive private messages, so I'll just answer it here. This question has been posted many, many times, so just look through all the old threads regarding this and you'll find thousands of answers as to why people crossdress. There are many reasons, and you will probably have to do a lot of reading to understand why YOU do it. Happy reading, and I hope you find the answer for yourself in all the ones we have posted on the forum here! One such rather complicated answer is in my bio, the link is in my sig at the bottom of this post. Feel free to ask me any questions, but as above, I can't answer you because you have messaging turned off here.

[I Am Paula]

The nature vs. nurture arguement has been going on since time began. Both sides have some valid points. My firm belief is that it's genetic, and we all fall somewhere in a gender scale, with the majority at either end, and a minority anywhere in between. For me, the thing that screws up a genetic only arguement, is my childhood made it almost a certainty I would develop gender issues. My sister treated me as little sister, my mother was a fashionista who dragged me from boutique, to designer attelier, to beauty salon, to fashion show, to fabric store etc. my whole childhood. My father was in aquisitions, so rarely home. I was smothered in estrogen until I left home at 18.
I'm the living embodyment of both theories, or maybe both nature and nurture have to be in harmony before the lightning strikes.
Also, since I love the way I turned out, I don't dwell on it too much. An explaination would be cool, but untill then, femme fits me just fine.-Celeste

[Karren H]

........ Anybody Have an answer?
Julie Marie

NO.... No one has an answer..... and even if they did.... what good would it do? it wouldn't change anything going forward? You would still love to do what you love to do... or have to do? So if the pursuit of something doesn't change your life...... then why waste your time trying to find an answer..... Accept its part of you and is not going away and move on with your life..... its what I did almost a decade ago and life got better.... and more fun.... being torment free is so much better....... imho....

[JanM38]

It would be interesting to me to see how many of us, like me, discovered this peri-puberty. While dressing is not exclusively sexual for me, there has always been a very strong sexual thread running through it. I mean, it is much more than merely fetish, but I cannot deny its fetishistic nature.

[ArleneRaquel]

I agree with Karren, just enjoy the lifestyle that you have been blessed to have and lose any hangups. You will feel better by doing so.

[Angela Campbell]

It started for me around 4 or 5 years old. Not due to any influences just a desire I had to be a girl. It is one of my earliest memories. Yes for a while during puberty and shortly thereafter it had a sexual component but during that time with my body being assaulted by massive amounts of testosterone it is no wonder. Almost anything was sexual at that time. Years passed and now there is just the opposite. When dressing or thinking about dressing sex is not even a small thought and is a bit repulsive at times. Through all of this I was always enamoured with females and rarely had any use at all for men. Not even as friends. I cannot think of any time when this behaviour was encouraged, in fact it was very strongly discouraged by all I knew. I still had the desire as long as I can remember to look as much like a female as I can, even though most times it was not something I could do.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Julie Marie--part of the attraction for me is precisely that cross dressing is taboo in most peoples eyes. That's an element of thrill for me, to walk down the street or go into the office wearing pantyhose under my suit. Now my wife and I have this great secret we share. If it were not taboo I wouldn't enjoy it as much.

[kimdl93]

I think we tend to over-state the degree to which the world disapproves of us. Yes, there are some common and not altogether flattering stereotypes of TG people, but for the most part, people really don't care. What bothers us, often, is our own opinion of ourselves. I know this from first hand experience. I lived with guilt and shame, not because the world imposed it on me, but because I imposed it on itself - and presumed the "world" agreed. When I finally let that self loathing go, and went out into the big bad world, I discovered that in fact, I had been wrong all along. The vast majority of people treat me just like they would any other woman.

[Cheryl T]

Honestly, I don't know. I searched for that answer for decades and finally gave up looking for that elusive solution.
Now I just know it's part of me and always will be.

[wilt575]

No special reason. I just like the clothes. And I don't believe in gender restrictions. Female clothes are just clothes, I don't see them as "female" clothes.

I am with you on that thought. When I was little I noticed all the attention girls always got, your so cute,you look so nice, your figure, your hair etc. So I decided to copy or emulate them, because nobody complemented boys. When I got old enough went on hormones for the real shape and female feelings.

[PretzelGirl]

I think we tend to over-state the degree to which the world disapproves of us .

I am with Kim on this one. We should be able to do whatever we want that doesn't impact others. That is called freedom. But because this is not common in our society, we tend to move to the safe side of things a assume the worst can happen. And that can be a good thing at some level as self preservation is an inherent quality in all people. The trick is to let it keep you safe but not freeze you being happy.

[reb.femme]

Hi Julie,

My story too, closeted most of my life, out only since April 2012. I think the old 'spectrum' discussion is both a clue and an enigma. Light ranges from black to white, so does the human condition. I don't bother as to why and merely accept that I am.

If I knew why, would it change much? I'm happy as I am, it's just others that will have issue with it.

Rebecca

[Angela Campbell]

I think we tend to over-state the degree to which the world disapproves of us. Yes, there are some common and not altogether flattering stereotypes of TG people, but for the most part, people really don't care. What bothers us, often, is our own opinion of ourselves. I know this from first hand experience. I lived with guilt and shame, not because the world imposed it on me, but because I imposed it on itself - and presumed the "world" agreed. When I finally let that self loathing go, and went out into the big bad world, I discovered that in fact, I had been wrong all along. The vast majority of people treat me just like they would any other woman.

Kim I wish I could convince myself of this. Logically I know it is so, but when out and dressed I always have this feeling like something bad may happen. It is because of this that I try so very hard to have a good appearance when going out, and I don't feel like I am where I need to be just yet.

[Jenniferathome]

It is genetics. It is not choice. We have some genetic quirk that makes us this way. There is no doubt of this, to me.

[melanie206]

My take is that, for me, gender and sexuality are fluid not binary and like Celeste said, the key is getting beyond the disapproval of others. I have always loved the feeling of femininity, even before I understood it or pursued it as I do today. I also loved the satin on the edges of blankets when I was a baby.

[SandraInHose]

Tried to come up with a 'WHY' while explaining my CDing to my wife. I really don't know why, other than it feels good and makes me happy. Like trying to explain why one likes chocolate or pizza or a certain car or certain types of music. Psychologists can surmise all they want about what they perceive as the reason we dress, but all I know is that it makes me happy. And that trumps all the other reasons they may find.