CD to TS-TG

[Contessa]

Has anyone become transexual due to being a cd. I believe I have I find it hard to switch back and forth. I have since come out at work as well as at home and to others in my family. I will soon go on to HRT. I will probably never have SRS or try for breast implants. FFS I'm not sure.

I guess I kept this secret too long. Some may say its just a pink fog thing, if so why hasn't cleared up yet. I am only speaking for myself no one else may feel as I do. Is it easy to put the girl away and go back to male? Can you go out in femm without wig and makeup?

Tess

[AngelaKelly<3]

Personally, I find it quite easy to switch between "guy mode" and "girl mode", because I just see them as both being equal parts to a whole, that is me.

I could imagine that many TS people would have some form of CDing experimentation as their "first step" sort of, so they are definitelly linked.

[AllieSF]

A lot of TS's started out as CD's. They were always TS but maybe needed time and the CD experience to clarify their status. Then there are a lot of very enthusiastic CD's who mistakenly think that they are TS. That is where a good gender therapist and the RLE come into play and can help define and even avoid unnecessary pitfalls.

[jillleanne]

You will never become a ts simply because you are currently a cd. Your expressing yourself as a cd currently may be a precursor to what's to come some day down the road, but one does not lead to the other no more than a glass of wine with dinner leads to alcohol abuse.

[Angela Campbell]

I became a cd because I was a TS......

[NathalieX66]

Transsexuals will tend to argue that one "is" transsexual, not one "becomes" transsexual.

Special hells are reserved for people like me that can't make up our minds, can't stay in one place, and argue in our heads a thousand times daily what gender we should be.

[Annette Anderson]

This was actually a fear of mine.when i was younger pre-internet i had no clue.I found a cd group address in a cd/ts circulation in an adult book store.It was close to my home.When i got there i was greeted by the woman who ran it,she was ts.She was one of the most helpfull people i have ever had in my life,but in the back of my mind i was afraid that this will probably be the next step for me.I was even afraid to tell her.But i think she already knew,she told me don't worry your not a ts ,but you will be a crossdresser for the rest of your life.The first part i bought but not the second,i fought this with everything i had, determined to win..... well i guess you all know what happened with that.

[Melissa Rose]

Cross dressing does not cause someone to become a transsexual. Cross dressing may be part of the journey of exploration and discovery, but there is no cause and effect relationship. Being a cross dresser is life long so it will not go away or clear up. It may go into hibernation or be repressed, but it is always a part of you. Being a transsexual does not require someone has to transition. Only you can make the final determination whether you are or are not a transsexual.

[Nicole Brown]

Many say that the difference between a CD and a TS is 2 years. This may or may not be true for some, but not for all. I would have classified myself as a CD up until 5 years ago, but no longer. Over the past 5 years I have come to realize that I am TS and will begin living full time within the next 5 months when I begin my transition. That said, I have never believed that I became a TS simply because I was a CD.

As Nathalie indicated, you are a TS or you are not. It may take you time to realize that you are TS but simply being a CD does not automatically make you a TS.

[Karren H]

I'd probably be a transsexual but my wife wont let me! lol.

[Marleena]

I'd probably be a transsexual but my wife wont let me! lol.

Try asking her nicely after the home renovations are done Karren.:D

[Karren H]

Try asking her nicely after the home renovations are done Karren.:D

hmmmm.... she did buy me a pink tie for Christmas!

[Angela Campbell]

I'd probably be a transsexual but my wife wont let me! lol.

Thats not fair....you let her be a girl don't you?

[Amy R Lynn]

I can honestly say that I enjoy being both Amy and Rob. I wouldn't be complete without both sides of me. So.... Yeah, I have no problem being in guy mode. However, I do dread having to take all of my girly things off. I often wish that I could stay in Fem mode a lot longer than I normally am. But once I'm back in guy mode, its business as usual.

[Nanaya]

There's lots of crossdressers who become TS or TG.

As for me, I'm purely a boy who enjoys frilly clothes, so I have no problem with switching and such.

[Marleena]

hmmmm.... she did buy me a pink tie for Christmas!

Sounds like progess to me, Karren.:)

[Sylvermane]

I started as a simple CD and realized I was much more. Took me 18 years to figure out what I was though and even then not until I found this forum did I really grasp what was going on in my head. I was in complete denial for all those years. I enjoy women's clothes, and if I had one wish it would be simply to become a woman, and take whatever that entails in stride.

[velece]

I think the 2 year rule of thumb is about right. It's been about 2 years since I started understanding my femme self. I now think I could have been a good candidate to TG, but at my advanced age it's beyond consideration. Given a choice now I would be dressed 24/7, but real life makes that impossible. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but reality says you deal with your life situations as they happen. I don't know if I would have had the guts to transition years ago if it had been a choice for me, and I had understood what I was.
Velece

[rachel_rachel]

There's lots of crossdressers who become TS or TG.

As for me, I'm purely a boy who enjoys frilly clothes, so I have no problem with switching and such.


I'd tend agree with this.. I do enjoy being girly, I love photo blogging on my facebook group but at the end of the day, I'm a guy.

[wantstocrossdress]

I can honestly say that I enjoy being both Amy and Rob. I wouldn't be complete without both sides of me. So.... Yeah, I have no problem being in guy mode. However, I do dread having to take all of my girly things off. I often wish that I could stay in Fem mode a lot longer than I normally am. But once I'm back in guy mode, its business as usual.

same here.

dressing up is for fun. being a man is a requirement.

i have to be a man at work and at home. its how i earn my bread and butter and i dont think i could do so if i was dressed up. furthermore, there'd be tons of criticism and prejudice if i told the people i knew about me dressing up. to save myself from the headache, i prefer to keep my dressing up in the closet.

i like to dress up at night when im alone. when im dressed up, i wish that i could be dressed forever, that i could have the body of a woman, that i had a sister and we would dress up together... then i get sleepy or the sun comes up and cinderella has to go back home (back to guy mode)

if the 2 year rule was applied to me, i started to wear pantyhose at about 13 then moved up to having my own stuff and dressing up on my own, then i should have been a ts now. should i? if was born as a girl then i'd love it but im not so i'll have to do with balancing both sides.

i dream about being a gal in public or at work but wont do so. when im dressed up, i enjoy every second of it but i know that the second will come that i have to be a man again.

[JadeEmber]

There's not imo a dichotomy. There are people who don't see it as two personas; there are mtf crossdressers that keep beards, etc., and have no wish to change or pass (genderf*cks, for example). There are women who basically appear as men, but might act in ways that contraindicate their supposed gender. Then you have people for whom cd'ing is like taking a trip -- the key being they come back home at the end. All of that is fine, and it isn't the case that you must end up as something else. I think that's a trap some people have fallen into to their chagrin. And, of course, there's the people who _do_ need to transition.

The one thing I generally think is that the cd people see themselves as transgender, and that transexuals not exclude them or assume that cd's are transexuals-in-waiting. Mainly because there's enough in common between us all, and there's enough pressure placed upon all of us. Generally, I think that's the case here on this forum, but I've seen people and places where there was some friction.

I will say that if one _is_ truly transexual, the earlier the better.

[MonctonGirl]

I think it would be fair to say that if someone can be hypnotized to believe they are a chicken
or to forget certain things
or to have memories of things that never happened "planted" in their minds ....

... and Hollywood method actors ( who attempt to BECOME their character ... and take on their actual personalities
like Christian Bale did for Terminator Salvation and had a meltdown at a production technician
( search YouTube for Christian Bale Freaks Out on Set w/ SUBTITLES OF CREW in background PROFANITY WARNING )

... then it is absolutely reasonable that doing something enjoyable in a carefree and relaxed state that we enjoy, that we would begin to become and believe we are that other character.

I bet for some of us our brainwaves change as we undertake our female persona.

[mbmeen12]

Has anyone become transexual due to being a cd? I have not become a TS,,, as of yet because I, Kara, am still a work in work process but would love to both worlds i.e breasts etc. My job and current life situation, I need a job but dont want one.



Is it easy to put the girl away and go back to male? Yes, it is because buisness is buisness and removal of a bra is easy as 1,2,3.. and my breast forms, nylons etc. But Kara is still inside my soul/a part of me.


Can you go out in femm without wig and makeup? No, I have gone only to clubs dressed etc I need a wig/forms/make up. I am happy for NOW to be Kara with my wife and with my gurl friends.

[Joanne f]

Although I believe that there can be distinct difference's between Cds, TGs and TS one has to look at the reasons why some start to CD in the first place , I am sure that a lot of feelings and desires and even the lack of understanding what you are feeling can all make one progress from a CD through to a TS a slow one as some will intentionally or none intentionally deny there inner feelings , it is quite easy for some to think " Oh I just wear the clothe's because I like them " then go on to realise you like them because you have a feminine side , then as your life becomes less hectic or distracting you start to realise that your feminine side runs a lot deeper than you had realised or given into , so although I now think that it can happen that doe's not mean that it is inevitable , infact less likely to than likely , and yes the pink fog can confuse you a bit in making a mistake of what you really are , I am only guessing and the one's that will really know are the Transsexuals and I am always very weary of treading on their territory as they have the real knowledge about it .

[Rianna Humble]

There's lots of crossdressers who become TS or TG.

Or to be more accurate, there are a lot of TS who try to use cross-dressing as a coping mechanism

There are other TS who cross-dress on their journey of self-discovery

But there are no cross-dressers who "become" transsexual since we are born that way.

[josee]

One doesn't become transsexual. One is born transsexual.
Crossdressing can help one uncover for themselves that they are transsexual - as it did for me. It gets harder and harder for me to switch back to "being a guy". For myself I have realized that that guy I have such a hard time going back to being was a complete fabrication of mine that I created to protect my inner being from the pain of being a girl but everyone else insisting that I was a boy.
I wear mostly female clothes when I am not at work (and even then it is just what I wear on the outside).
My hair is past shoulder length so I never have worn wigs even though I bought one early on). I often run errands without make-up or forms wearing women's jeans and a top and still get called ma'am sometimes, sometimes sir. If I am wearing forms it is almost always ma'am. Sometimes even when I am working out in public, dressed as a dude, I have been called ma'am. Usually when someone sees me from behind or a side view.

[mikiSJ]

But there are no cross-dressers who "become" transsexual since we are born that way.

I think the measure of truth in that statement is the number of MtF transitions that occur that turn out to be total disasters. Cutting the bits off and growing your boobs will not make you a woman if you aren't also a woman to begin with. I have no statistics to support my position but I think most of us know of someone, even if only by anecdote, that got so carried away with CDing (a total pink fog?) that it morphed into a false sense of being a woman. That individual may have the wherewithal to have the surgery as if on a lark. Then the remorse sets in and in some cases there is no resolution save suicide.

I like being a woman, sometimes. I have toyed with the idea of a MtF transition, but it never seemed to fit who I am - I am not a woman, except sometimes.

[becky77]

I don't know, i'm as confused now as I was 30 years ago. I'm more than just a crossdresser but do not see transition in my future. I just think of myself as Transgendered now. I identified with girls and girls toys etc before I ever realised I wanted to crossdress, so I don't think one leads to the other.

[Miranda-E]

I think the measure of truth in that statement is the number of MtF transitions that occur that turn out to be total disasters. Cutting the bits off and growing your boobs will not make you a woman if you aren't also a woman to begin with. I have no statistics to support my position but I think most of us know of someone, even if only by anecdote, that got so carried away with CDing (a total pink fog?) that it morphed into a false sense of being a woman. That individual may have the wherewithal to have the surgery as if on a lark. Then the remorse sets in and in some cases there is no resolution save suicide.

.

that number would be 1 known case.
That one case also has evidence that it was an attempt from the start to discredit the the system.

[Angela Campbell]

Sometimes is seems like a CD became a TS, but I think that is because it takes a while for someone to come to terms with what they truly are. It is difficult to finally admit to yourself that you are this different from most of the other people in the world, an outcast. It is easy to deny and tell yourself ...no this is a fetish, it is just sexual, or whatever. I do know some who are truly CD's and have no desire at all to be a woman. I spent years knowing I wanted to be a girl and at the same time trying to ignore it, hide it and tell myself it was not real. It wasn't until I fully dressed for the first time with makeup and wig that I finally accepted the fact that I am TS. I also had to accept the fact that I will most probably never be able to fully transition. I am ok with both realizations now but I see that the feminine part of me is beginning to merge into the male side and I fear that someday there will be no difference and I wonder what will come of that.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm more than just a crossdresser but do not see transition in my future. I just think of myself as Transgendered now.

Hi Becky, have you considered that you might be bi-gendered? There are some members on these forums that although they are not TS, have both genders within them. ReineD has written quite a lot about the experiences of her SO who is bi-gendered.

If you want to PM me, I would be interested to know why you say that you do not see transition in your future.

[Beverley Sims]

As Rhianna has said, bi gendered could be the answer.
I find it difficult to put labels on any one.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Transsexuals will tend to argue that one "is" transsexual, not one "becomes" transsexual.

Special hells are reserved for people like me that can't make up our minds, can't stay in one place, and argue in our heads a thousand times daily what gender we should be.

the first sentence true...altho transsexuals may grow up crossdressing to alleviate gender feelings, and often view themselves as crossdressers for some of their lives...

the second is not..generally speaking we are quite happy with people such as yourself that are happy with their gender identity!!! that's undeniably a good thing.

...

you either are ts or not, so pls don't worry that your crossdressing will turn you into something and trick you into beleiving something that isnt true....

if your crossdressing seems unsatisfactory to you, and more and more you want to meet people and talk to people as a woman, or if you start hating your time spent in male "mode" or become ashamed of your male body...

...that's something to take seriously..but that's not because you "turned into" anything, its because the real you is coming into the forefront

... and btw...NOT crossdressing will not stop it from coming to the forefront, it will only delay it and make it harder on you long term...

[missmars]

HRT might make you TS

[Maria S]

It seems a lot of TS know from an early age that they were born in the wrong body. People who CD either from young or later in life may wonder whether being a TS is in them but does not obviously show. Personally I CD a lot 30-40 hours per week. I do not believe I was born in the wrong body but do wonder if things like HRT and breast implants etc would make a great thing excellent, the icing on the cake, the lacquer on the car's paint work.

Maria

[Ezekiel]

HRT might make you TS

HRT does not make you TS. Many crossdressers went through HRT and they are not TS. HRT might be sought to further enhance ones capability of passing / feminization. Together with this facial feminization surgery can also be sought.

[Angie G]

I think the TS-TG were already there hun and the cd'ing made it come out. If it work for you coming out well you go girl.:hugs:
Angie

[Ezekiel]

Just a thought, how many TS have fully transitioned for:

A - They fully identify as women because deep inside them its like this, no matter how society will treat them, no matter the roles they will be given.
or
B - Because they think that identifying as women equals to dress like the usual women does, being treated like women and overall a change in role in the eyes of society, but deep inside they are not the same as group A, as they would not present the common gender dysphoria issues, however they lead happy lifes too.

The B group could be a result of crossdressers taking it to a whole new level. Remember that society enforces gender based roles very strongly, roles and ways of living, and some might really get caught in this, and thus triggering the formation of a transsexual that is truly an evolved form of crossdresser. Its an hypothesis, don't flame me please, but I don't think all TS transition for the same reasons.

[Lorenqt]

Crossdressing won't cause anyone to become transgender. In my own personal experience, crossdressing simply opened my mind to the realization that I am a girl.

[Rianna Humble]

You are right that on the surface, transsexuals may appear to transition for a variety of reasons. However, in my experience there is only one underlying reason why any transsexual undertakes the hellish journey that is transition - that is because we can no longer live with the disconnect between our gender and our assigned role in life.

Over and over again, I hear words to the effect of "I could no longer go on living the sham, death would have been preferable".

There is nothing glamorous about being born with the wrong body and there is nothing glamorous about transition.

At first glance it looks like your second group describes cross-dressers caught up in what they often term "pink fog". Such people, if they transition, normally go outside the medically accepted process for transition and can often be heard to rail against the so-called gatekeepers. These pseudo transitions almost inevitably end badly because the person is no longer living in their true gender.

If someone never suffers from Gender Dysphoria, then in my not so humble opinion they are not transsexual.

There is a small(?) number of people who do indeed have two gender identities and whilst for the vast majority of the time they are quite fulfilled by living as their natal sex they do periodically need to express the opposite gender role. These people, however, are not transsexual.

There is no such thing as "the formation of a transsexual that is truly an evolved form of crossdresser". Transsexuality is a physical condition that develops before birth.

[Ezekiel]

Well Rianna, when I said that a crossdresser became a transsexual its a simplified terminology I was using to refer to the fact that he or she undergone SRS (be transman or transwoman), thats why I made two groups: Group A and Group B to differentiate the causes. Never heard of the pink fog, but if you say that the second group I mentioned is pretty much that, I more or less see what it means.

This thought came to me when I had a good read about the subject, and seeing people that from the very first parts of their life they wish transition, yet others take years and years, and usually do crossdressing in between, that is why I am a bit confused on this issue, why theres people that has it clear from the beginning, yet others need a lot of time to realize this?

I myself have it very clear, and although I will seek HRT and FFS, I am not and will never be TS, however as I stated some people have a lot of confusion about this for most part of their lifes, could it be that in the end, they balance out things and say "Well, I think I prefer to live as female, I feel way better" can't this be true also? I think theres people like this too.

[Lorileah]

I myself have it very clear, and although I will seek HRT and FFS, I am not and will never be TS,

Naught for nothing here but...huh? So you see all this as body modification like piercings or tattoos or sub-dermal implants? I guess I don't see your definition of TS.

[Ericaxd]

I first remember wishing I was a girl at about 5 or 6 years old. I was an adult before I learned that transitioning was at all possible, and just lived with being male. Like others, I now have far too many responsibilities both professionally and more importantly personally to ever consider even starting the process. Nor do I think I am truly TS. I WISH I were a woman, but don't believe I was born in the wrong body.
I subscribe to something a read a long time ago--I think it was in Jan Morris's book Conundrum describing her own path to transition, and that is that we all fall somewhere along a sexual continuum, that in the case of our group, creating a dichotomy between CD and TS is an artificial construct, and I think you can see that in this thread. Some are fully comfortable being men who like to dress, others see dressing as an expression of an inner feminine self, others MUST dress, others still are dressing as women because despite their genitals they are women. I personally fall somewhere short of TS, but am well beyond being the happy heterosexual cross dresser.

[Ezekiel]

Naught for nothing here but...huh? So you see all this as body modification like piercings or tattoos or sub-dermal implants? I guess I don't see your definition of TS.

No, of course not, in no way it is. Its expensive, it takes years, it takes suffering. Pretty aware of it all. I am not transsexual because first I don't feel like one, and second because I won't go through SRS or identity change.

[Rianna Humble]

There can be a number of reasons why some people (such as me) transition in later life. To give you a few of mine:

My earliest clear memories of anything are of a dream every night for a fortnight about age 7ish when I was watching my wedding (idealised as all young girls of that age) although I never saw who the groom would be. I did not know how to explain it to my parents so I never did. 50 years ago there just wasn't the information about Gender Dysphoria or abut transsexuality, so I felt isolated. If there was a god, they were not interested in my nightly tears as I wished I could wake up as the girl I knew I was inside.

Fast forward a few years, I heard about Christine Jorgensen but that only served to show me that unless you were rich, there was no point dwelling on being the wrong sex because the operation cost more than my parents earned in a number of years. So fulfilment was out of the question via that route. Still didn't have the words to explain anything to my parents.

In my adolescence, I got caught up in a religious movement that conflated sexuality and gender and taught that either was just a case of "making the choice not to sin". Given my prior experience with asking god to help me become whole, I found it easy to be seduced by that fallacy.

I finally escaped that influence, but still had no words to talk to anyone about it, so I more or less got on with trying to emulate the men I saw around me even though I didn't understand very much of why they did what they did.

Fast forward again to my forties, the only stuff I ever found on the Net about transsexuals was on porn sites and I knew I could never succeed in that industry. By this time, I had learnt that I couldn't just be friends with other women and I couldn't relate to the men, so almost the only "friendships" I had seemed to be where I could be useful to someone.

Come to the last few years, I was finding it harder and harder to go on living. I was failing in my role as a local representative, I was not doing well at work, I couldn't sleep more than about 30 min a night and finally came to the conclusion that the only solution was to end this life. I actively planned about 4 different ways to kill myself, but there was a small spark within me that refused to give up so I decided to "shame" myself out of needing to be a woman by doing something about it.

Instead of shaming myself, I realised that I was at last beginning to express my true self for the first time ever in my life. Even then I didn't "want" to be transsexual and I certainly did not "want" to transition.

When I ran out of excuses, I was able to say truthfully to my doctor
I know I will never be a beautiful woman, but I would rather end my days as an ugly woman than spend one more hour as the man I have never been

[Ezekiel]

I see it must have been hell for you Rianna. All I can say is that I'm very happy for you, that in the end there was a light. Well I'd like to clear that my intention is not to offend, but to gather information and trying to understand others arround me.

[Dana L]

I don't think CDing causes TS, rather many TS find CDing as an outlet. Myself I feel as if I should have been born a woman. I have fought with this as long as I can remember. If I had only grew to 5'8" or so and been slight of frame, I probobly wouldn't have fought it. But now in my forties I'm seeing that it dosen't matter how I look I'm still that woman on the inside. CDing gives that woman in me some time to be free. Someday if I stop careing about everyone else I could easily see me transitioning to that woman in me. So what if I'm 6'2" and 180!

[Julogden]

Transsexuals will tend to argue that one "is" transsexual, not one "becomes" transsexual.

Special hells are reserved for people like me that can't make up our minds, can't stay in one place, and argue in our heads a thousand times daily what gender we should be.
I couldn't agree more, Nathalie, well stated. I'm in that same place. :(

Carol

[ReineD]

There is a small(?) number of people who do indeed have two gender identities and whilst for the vast majority of the time they are quite fulfilled by living as their natal sex they do periodically need to express the opposite gender role. These people, however, are not transsexual.

Sorry for being so late in seeing this thread, but you mentioned me and my SO earlier. It is my understanding from my SO (although she uses the term "dual-gender"), that it is not a question of toggling the feminine gender switch on and off and reverting to a default male gender when not dressed. And as you mention, she is also not TS. But, my SO is the same person, with the same internal gendered feelings or ID, no matter how s/he dresses. It's just that sometimes she feels more feminine and at other times s/he feels more masculine. I admit that I feel more feminine at times than at other times too, although in my case I know that I'm most definitely on the female end of the gender binary. :p

So it's rather a question of having an elastic gender, if you will, for those who are outside the gender binary, which is a different state of being than strictly a male or a female. This is why my SO uses the term "dual", which means "both at the same time". I gather that many of the members in this forum who prefer to identify themselves as "TG" rather than "TS" or "CD" feel similarly.

Admittedly, this is a difficult concept to embrace because all of us only see binary gender around us, from birth. We only see the outward expression of either males or females. And so it can be confusing if a male (or a female in the case of non-binary F2Ms) departs from a strictly male gender ID especially if the departure involves periods of euphoria over a feminine expression,. This can lead some birth males to believe they might be TS. I'm sure that my SO has questioned this also in the past, before settling into defining for herself of a state of being that is difficult to define and understand.

It makes using specific pronouns difficult. lol

[DaniG]

No, of course not, in no way it is. Its expensive, it takes years, it takes suffering. Pretty aware of it all. I am not transsexual because first I don't feel like one, and second because I won't go through SRS or identity change.

You don't have to do either of those things to qualify as TS. Many TS live without SRS.

Why do you say you don't feel like one? You want HRS and FFS though to live more like a woman? I'm having trouble understanding how you can find a distinction.

[DaniG]

Instead of shaming myself, I realised that I was at last beginning to express my true self for the first time ever in my life. Even then I didn't "want" to be transsexual and I certainly did not "want" to transition.

When I ran out of excuses, I was able to say truthfully to my doctor

Such an incredible story. I'm glad you shared it. <3

[ReineD]

You don't have to do either of those things to qualify as TS. Many TS live without SRS.

LOL. Some of the post-op TSs would disagree with you. :hiding:

OK. maybe without SRS, but certainly must live legally with name change, and full time to everyone, as a woman. I suppose the decision to have SRS and when has too many variables to discuss here. But, I think the consensus is pretty strong that if a person has enjoyable use of the male anatomy, this kinda disqualifies her from being a woman.

This doesn't mean that non-transitioners, non-fulltimers will not have strong feminine identification, however ... which brings us back to the concept of gender non-conformity, or non binary gender.

[Jenniferathome]

Cross dressing has NOTHING to do with transsexualism. It is logical that transsexuals cross dress as they feel they are that gender in which they dress. Cross dressers just dress as the opposite gender, not feel they are that gender.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I can honestly say that I enjoy being both Amy and Rob. I wouldn't be complete without both sides of me. So.... Yeah, I have no problem being in guy mode. However, I do dread having to take all of my girly things off. I often wish that I could stay in Fem mode a lot longer than I normally am. But once I'm back in guy mode, its business as usual.

Me too although the balance is changing prefering more femme time without ever considering myself TS. Maybe that reflects human nature - the more you get of a good thing the more you want.

[Luna Nyx]

im on the fence about this myself. Part of me wants to transition but part of me doesn't. I have alot of time to figure this out. Atm I am happy, but i do feel the same as others have stated that when it comes back to turning into guy mode, i really dont want to.

[Emily_Safford]

I became a cd because I was a TS......

yep...this. exactly my thoughts. I was born this way (TG) ^_^

CDing just gave me a way to feel a little more like myself

Emi ~.^

[DanaM64]

But, I think the consensus is pretty strong that if a person has enjoyable use of the male anatomy, this kinda disqualifies her from being a woman.

This doesn't mean that non-transitioners, non-fulltimers will not have strong feminine identification, however ... which brings us back to the concept of gender non-conformity, or non binary gender.

Gonna have to disagree with there Reine, (though I do agree 99.99% of most of your post!) but IMHO it's the state of mind of how your enjoying the use of the anatomy that you have. For example reversing roles, (I won't go into details but if you try to put yourself on the receiving side of what your doing) it might be in your mind but then again that is the biggest sex organ we all have! ;)
I was talking with a friend tonight in almost this regard, but it was more life in general, we were discussing my progress with the treatment here. He mentioned I was in high spirits even though with the process here I was a year behind where I wanted to be. I replied that though frustrating, it was easier knowing I was still heading in the right direction and I've always lived to make the best of what I got. Now if I had everything yesterday or better yet yesteryear then I'm sure I'd be even more positive than I am currently. Though the pysch Dr. asked how I would feel if they delayed my treatment and all I could say is I would deal with it at the time cause I don't know how it would affect me till it happens... (Darn more rant, soo sorry!)

Sorry for the rant, but in short... most people do need to 'relieve' some pressure now n then

[ReineD]

Gonna have to disagree with there Reine, (though I do agree 99.99% of most of your post!) but IMHO it's the state of mind of how your enjoying the use of the anatomy that you have. For example reversing roles, (I won't go into details but if you try to put yourself on the receiving side of what your doing) it might be in your mind but then again that is the biggest sex organ we all have! ;)

I think I get what you mean.

But I was trying to say that in the purest sense, the transwomen who have risked everything in order to transition so they could live as true women full time ... jobs, family, friends, etc, and for whom transition was a question of life or death, felt so uncomfortable in their male bodies that to them, their male anatomies were a gross disfigurement. These transwomen would never be able to enjoy their male anatomy in any way, shape, or form. And so to them, individuals who choose to keep their male anatomies because they enjoy the sexual benefits are on a different level than they are. Granted sometimes there is a time lag for some TSs until everything can get done (pre-op), but during this time the appendage isn't used, especially after some time on HRT and anti-androgens when things become atrophied ... a chemical castration so to speak. And also there are older transwomen perhaps who cannot have SRS for medical reasons, but the enjoyment of their male anatomy is the last thing on their minds.

But I was saying earlier that individuals who are not the Types V or VI TSs per the Benjamin Scale still have gender issues, they can still have a feminine identity, but they are not fully at the female end of the binary gender like the Type V or VI TSs. If this makes sense.

http://harrychart.goiar.f-m.fm/Original/OriginalChart.jpg

[Fran Moore]

To me Reine, and I would never diminish the fact that a TS individual has the real sense that they were born in the wrong body. The brain doesn't match, period.

However, for a lot of us, (as you know so well) feel just as strongly that we were born TG. The gender spectrum isn't black and white, some of us exist in between, not because we choose to but because we were destined to, created to, and have to.

Happiness can be elusive, however with effort, can be found.

[ReineD]

However, for a lot of us, (as you know so well) feel just as strongly that we were born TG. The gender spectrum isn't black and white, some of us exist in between, not because we choose to but because we were destined to, created to, and have to.

Absolutely!!

There are people who fit at either end of the gender binary: non-trans genetic men, non-trans genetic women, and Type V & VI transsexual men and women with severe GD who alter their bodies in order to conform to their brain genders and who end up, at the potential cost of losing their jobs and families, living full-time as if they were born in the right bodies. There is no other choice but to do this for these transsexuals.

And then there are people who are gender non-conforming (non-binary), who have a milder form of GD but still serious gender identity issues that do not conform to their genetic sex (which by default is binary .. people are either born physically male or female except the intersex folks but this is another topic altogether), but who also find it bearable or possible, for a number of reasons including the preservation of their families and jobs, to live their lives partially in conformance with their genetic sex even though they may feel torn inside. In my opinion, this is just as difficult, just as painful to navigate as the Type V & VI transsexuals who risk losing it all for transition, because almost no one understands the concept of non-binary including many of the folks who are non-binary. The happier non-conforming TGs are the ones who come to terms with defining themselves as non-conforming like my SO and who manage to construct their lives in such a way as to give free reign to their gender expression(s), without transitioning. My SO does not identify as a male. But, she has come to the conclusion that she would also not be happy living as a female full time either, and this is hardest to understand for most people.


... and then there are the CDers who identify as men, who are having a great time expressing their feminine selves especially if they have supportive wives, and who are just as happy to revert to guy mode. :) ... but then there are very unhappy CDers whose wives do not approve and the repression of their feminine expression can cause such deep unhappiness that they may even believe they need to live full time. If these CDers had accepting wives, however, they would be just as happy as the rest of the CDers.

It's complex, isn't it.

And I haven't even mentioned the people who do this for fetish. :p

[andrea lace]

Transsexuals tend to dislike the male body they inhabit. They will spend as much time ed femme as possible. I like both sides of the coin in guy mode im happy and in girl mode I am fabulously happy. That makes me a cross dresser plus I need my man self for certain things.

[PaulaQ]

Thanks for the explanations, ReineD, and the link to the benjamin scale chart in your prior post. This was extremely educational for me at least. (I have a bunch to learn!)

The different ways gender is expressed here makes for a pretty exotic group of people. I would imagine in some cases it's difficult to decide exactly which type someone falls into in borderline cases.