A Little Rant!

[Amanda M]

Why oh why do some people refer to their SO as "the wife". Makes the poor woman sound like a domestic appliance!!

How would they feel if the GGs on here said "Oh, the husband! Always wants to wear panties!"

Rant over.

[MissTee]

I call my SO "the wife" because . . . well, she is. She calls me "the husband," too. Not a big deal for us.

[KimberlyJean]

I call my wife Woman all the time and it always surprises other people. But we don't think anything about it until we get one of those reactions.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amanda, I totally agree with you I always show respect when referring to my wife.
Once one of the guys that I worked with referred to my wife as "your old lady" I
quickly straitened him out I said that's my wife and not my old lady and from now
on when your talking about my wife you will refer to her as my wife.

[Krististeph]

Just a change up of words, so as not to say the same thing over and over. I could get upset over the term "significant other" as well. Granted, it does sound a little derogatory of less than adoring, but just because someone does not declare their undying love for their spouse every time they mention them, is not a sign of lack of love.

In writing, one usually uses a wider variety of terms and such than in oral conversation, then add in the fact that many people writing here may have had a rough time from their spouse becuase of crossdressing, one has no right to tell others how to refer to someone they know infinitely better than we do. Hey, I'm not flaming you Amanda, please don't take offense, I'm just answering the question. I would not take it too seriously.

Besides, my wife is a nurse, and if you have ever worked with them (nurses), you'll know they talk and swear hard enough to make most sailors and truckers blush...

Cheers!

-"that crossdressing asshole"

[Amanda M]

No offence taken, Krististeph!. I have spent most of my wife working with nurses as it happens (I'm in the health professions) and I could not agree more.

In my own defence though, I don't recall telling someone how they should or should not refer to someone - I simply expressed my distaste of one particular usage. A Constitutional right, I understand. (One of the few things you folks across the pond really got right).

I love Americans, really. Most of our friends are from the Good Ole US of A!

Hugs! Amanda.

[SandraInHose]

Just my two cents..."the wife" is not demeaning in the least, whereas SO sounds more like an object to my ears. To each his own.

And I completely agree with Blue Orchid...I HATE the term "my old lady"...I hear men refer to their wives like that quite often and it makes me cringe.

[2B Natasha]

I call my SO "the wife" because . . . well, she is. She calls me "the husband," too. Not a big deal for us.

Us too. I often refer to my wife as my beautiful bride. What I won't refer to her as and neither will you or anybody else is.
" The Old Lady ". Don't go there

Cheers

[Bo-peep]

I dont mind being called 'The wife' ... does not feel bad at all ... not keen on 'The old lady' or 'Her indoors' but 'She who must be obeyed' is pretty accurate Lol ;)

[Beverley Sims]

The wife goes ok at our house, although I do refer to her by name.
The following is part of our happy marriage arrangement.
I married Miss Right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to her for Eighteen months: I don't like to interrupt her. :)
Yes she does get a laugh out of it.

[reb.femme]

In Britain and I might imagine that you too are of these shores, it's standard to refer to 'the wife', so I make no apologies as one of those you refer to. I would be moderated for what she calls me. If anyone wants to refer to me as the 'whatever' i sincerely couldn't give a damn.

If I call her 'my wife', by the same reasoning, she sounds like a possession does she not? Moreover, she is a hell of a lot more than a significant other. If my possession was upset by such she would say so, but why are you upset by proxy? Not meaning to be offensive here, but text never conveys the lightheartedness or otherwise that the statement is made in.

Rebecca

[Kate Simmons]

I'm not keen on it either but in a true partnership, it doesn't matter much I guess as long as there is mutual love and respect.:)

[tamaralynn]

I call my wife "babe" all the time. When I have to check on something, she becomes "the one in charge". Let's be clear however, I still where "the pants" in the family. I make all the decisions she defers to me.

[Tara D. Rose]

I agree with you. I call my wife, "my wife". I never call her my SO, nor would I ever refer to her as "my old lady" She is my wife, she is my beloved wife. And I am her husband and not "the husband" nor am I "her old man", but her beloved husband. But sometimes I am her girl friend though on some nights. But as I always say, to each their own, there is no wrong or right here.

[Dana L]

I don't like the term "the wife" or "significant other" and don't even start with me on "the old lady". They just seem to cold and unfeeling of terms. My wife married me 23 years ago and we've raised two wonderful kids together, not to mention she has supported me every step of my life. I can't help but refer to her with as much love and respect as I can. Terms like "my beautiful wife", "my wonderful wife", "my bride of 23 years", or sometimes just "my wife" is all I'll refer to her as.

[Peta_T]

Ok I'm sorry if this is a bit off topic but from the comments here I find it interesting the opinions expressed.

Firstly let me say that I don't have a partner, so am probably in no condition to comment but will anyway...:devil:

There have been a few terms mentioned here for your partners, "the wife", "the old lady", "the SO", etc.

It is interesting when you think of where all these and the others came from in historical terms. What social norms were prevalent when they first appeared.

Case in point, "The Little Woman/The Old Man".

I find it interesting that it is peoples perceptions/reactions to the language used that drives the evolution of the language that we use.

[biggirlsarah]

I don't know much about domestic appliances , but mine is called Carol , I always refer to her as Carol because that's what her name is, but in my current situation with me being off work because of illness Carol is the one who works, and I do all the domestic chores , cooking cleaning ironing etc.

[lauren_m]

On a lot of women-centric sites, the women refer to their spouses as "DH", or "dear husband." Facially, I suppose that's better than "the wife," though the women's use of "dear" is often intended to be ironic or cheeky or bemused, especially when they are complaining about something their husbands did (or didn't do).

[Joanne f]

We had a thread about this a few years ago The wife versus My wife, I think some people just use it as a figure of speech and mean no harm by it ( have a feeling it was Sharon who started the thread but might be wrong on that ) have not seen her about lately .

[Cassandra Lynn]

Yeah, we've all got our little idiosyncracies about these things, but it's all in the context as it's used.

I know the ones your speaking of and it does come across as sexist but if it's typical for their own behavior then i guess we have to turn a blind eye to it.

I always kinda cringe when i see married hetero couples on here who refer to each other as partner. In my world that one was used primarily by people who were in some type of business together.

It can be very difficult to turn our personal filters on and off when we come on the sites several times a day.

[PretzelGirl]

On a lot of women-centric sites, the women refer to their spouses as "DH", or "dear husband." Facially, I suppose that's better than "the wife," though the women's use of "dear" is often intended to be ironic or cheeky or bemused, especially when they are complaining about something their husbands did (or didn't do).

If DH is used in a way to be ironic, then there is another meaning to DH that I could see as being implied.

[Tamara Croft]

And this has what exactly to do with CD'ing? this a CD'ing subject?? I think not, thread closed.