My wife knows, Part 2

[TGMarla]

Well, I took some time today to write a long letter to my wife, explaining everything to her in some detail. It is five pages long. I tried to be as up front with her as possible. I told her how this all began, and why I had kept it hidden from her. I told her that I loved her very much. And I told her I was sorry for having been anything less than completely honest with her.

I let her know that I was aware that she is not accepting of this, and that I know it is likely that she wants no part of it. I promised I would not force it on her or expect her to participate in any way in my transgendered activities. I told her that I don't blame her if she feels like I sold her a bill of goods when we first met, since I was not forthcoming to her about this.

But I also told her that while I promise to be honest and up front with her at all times, I also do not want to just brush this under the rug anymore. I told her that when she wants to talk, I will talk with her.

And again I told her that I love her.

She has not read it yet as of this posting. There are others living with us who are in and out, so I don't know when she will have the opportunity to read it, nor do I know when she will attempt to talk to me further about it.

Wish me luck.

[Eileen]

Yes Marla, I wish for you the best outcome possible. I know it is not easy for you. My wife is not at all accepting. We talk for time to time, but have never really gotten everything out on the table. It is something we need to do and soon. She knew before we were married, but we both thought it would go away once we were married. Wrong!! Now the next move is up to her. Hopefully she will realize she is married to a careing person.

[Wendy me]

truly i do so wish you luck..... that accepting part is not always easy i know i am working on that with my wife now .. what i can tell you is when she feels like talking be there sometimes my wife will just come out and ask something ..sometimes the same question over and over ... rember this can be something that she needs to take in some before she can deal with it ... go easy .... best of luck....

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Hun...I can only wish you the very best love...I really hope it all works out for you both.
Love Nikki. x

[chattaboxx]

Of course Marla

I will wish you luck but from the sound of the letter i feel you have done the right thing.

once again good luck

Louise

ps

I was like you hiding this from my wife, would love to tell her but can't see the moment ever coming

[Julia Cross]

HI Marla,

I wish you all the best. What you did was so brave and definately very difficult. I hope she appreciates the courage and effort and takes time to consider everything before siting down and discussing it further.
Julia

[_Janelle_]

Hi Marla,

I hope this all works out for you - I am really pulling for you. You deserve for this to work out for you. At least all the proverbial cards are on the table, and I guess time will tell how they landed. I have to say that you are one of the most genuine and honest people I have come across on any forum.

Good luck

Janelle.

[kathy gg]

I'm sure you know this, but I am sending you nothing but good vibes and hope friend.

:meditate:

[Raychel]

I hope everything woirks out for you. I am sure that this is a very dificult time for you. But rest assured, you belong to a very special group of people and I am sure taht you will get all the support you need here.

GOOD LUCK
:gog:

[Joanne_2003]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how hard it was when I came out to my wife. Its taken a couple of years but we are better now than before I told her. I hope the same for you and your wife.

[Adrianne]

Hello Marla, i really hope everything works out for you, i be thinking of you.

[Veronica E. Scott]

Marla I sit here wondering what I could say to help you through this and there isn't anything that I could say except that I know what you are going through I have been in your position myself so many thoughts going through your head and hers as well how it will all come out we can only hope for the best for you and your wife. May you find peace in knowing that you are loved by many and that you also are an inspiration to us all. From the posts that I have read you are a kind loving and caring person that only deserves the best may God hold you in his arms and gently ease your pain.
Best of luck.

[Sarahgurl371]

Marla,
I know you are trying your best to help the situation, I think you did the right thing. All we can do is be totally honest with ourselves and our spouse. I know that for me, I even feel better just putting all out there on the line. I hope your situation improves and you and her can have some honest meaningful conversation about all this. Writing is powerful, and can help break the ice, but I hope you get to the point were you guys can talk about it.

Best of luck. PM if you want to chat.

[Debbie Kong]

Well, what the heck, I wish you luck too and I respect you for doing what you did. Hope it all works out for the both of you. Who knows, in a week your wife might be posting to this forum.

Best wishes

Debbie

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Marla hope it works out for you two. If nothing else, just remember you've made a major effort on your end to work things out.

[Kierci]

Hey girl you have my IM and direct email Let me know if you need anything Neighbor :) Let me know how it goes K? :bh:

[Charlene Marie]

Wishing you the very best Marla. Sounds like you've done everything you can to set the mood for some understanding and constructive conversation.I sure hope she meets you halfway at least.

Good Luck,

Charlene

[Shannon]

Marla -- my best wishes for you and your wife. You know that I think this a positive step on your part to keep the communications open and the topic on the table, rather than letting it slip under the rug again. You are doing the best you know how -- and that's wonderful.

[sarahsfiona GG]

Very best of luck to you, Marla.

Fiona

[size7satin]

If you both have the truest love for eachother, it will be the best feeling any two people can have in the end. best wishes.

[TGMarla]

Yeah, well, I guess we're going to find out just how "true" that love really is. She hasn't read it yet, as of Sunday morning, but it's coming. Soon. I appreciate everyone's support and kind words. Let's hope the fireworks aren't too much to look at. I really put myself out there, and I'm pretty nervous and worried about it. I can only hope for the best.

I gave it my best shot. Now we'll see if it was all for the best. My fingers are crossed.

[Raychel]

Marla, You gave it to her and aftre all this time she has not read it?? I wonder what she is thinking. Is she afraid of what it may say. Or do you think that she already knows what it says and is afraid to face it again.

My wife knows and is not real sure that she wants to face it just et. I am fine with that. When she is ready then we will face it together.

All my best wishes go to you, from the snowey Northeast

Raychel

[Deborah_UK]

Yeah, well, I guess we're going to find out just how "true" that love really is. She hasn't read it yet, as of Sunday morning, but it's coming. Soon. I appreciate everyone's support and kind words. Let's hope the fireworks aren't too much to look at. I really put myself out there, and I'm pretty nervous and worried about it. I can only hope for the best.

I gave it my best shot. Now we'll see if it was all for the best. My fingers are crossed.

My fingers are crossed for you too Marla.

Hope it goes well.

[TGMarla]

Don't read anything into it, Raychel. I didn't hand it to her. I left it for her. She was at work all day yesterday, and went to bed without coming upon it. She will find it when she wakes up today. Gulp.

[Shelly Preston]

Good Luck Marla

All our best wishes go with you

We all want a happy outcome but I guess you know this may only be the begining

Take Care

[Raychel]

I did a stupid thing myself. I sent my wife a letter in an e-mail. Then I decided that was a bad idea. There was no turning back then. I took the letter and handed it to her sitting at the table. That way we could deal with it together. It went very bad at the time, but she is getting much better now. I am glad that she knows everything now. We are definitly doing better in our relationship. We are alot more comfortable with each other. You will not regret this in the future. But it will be tough for a while.

Good Luck

:IAG:

[Holly]

Marla, my thoughts and prayers are with both you and your wife. May the end result be worth all the trepidation you have experienced going into this and make your relationship all the stronger. :Pray:

[Marla GG]

Good luck Marla. I think you have done the right thing and I especially agree with your insistence on keeping the lines of communication open. Silence on the issue might be more comfortable in the short term, but it can be very destructive over time. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. :hugs:

[Mary Jane]

Marla,

You are in my thoughts. I hope things turn out well for you. I know how nervous you are feeling. I am sure she has read it by now and I will keep my fingers crossed until you let us know how it went.

Mary Jane

[S. Lisa Smith]

Hope everything turns out OK. My wife was surprized when I told her after 20 years of marriage. Ten years later we are still happily married. She hasn't seen me dressd and doesn't want to (I wish she would), but she accepts that this is a part of what makes me, the one she loves, me. I hope that your wife comes to the same conclusion

[Tamara Croft]

Marla, do you know if she has read it yet?? :hugs: I do hope everything goes well for you, you're such a wonderful lady :)

[freshfrankie]

I hope everything works out for you. Telling anyone carries risks but keeping it inside of you your whole life destroys you. Big hugs and kisses.
Love
Jeannie

[RachelDenise]

I'm hoping only the best for you! Good luck and hope you begin a good dialogue.:thumbsup:

[DonnaT]

Has she read it yet? I hope it went well if she did, or goes well if she hasn't.

[TGMarla]

I'll post to a new thread when this all comes down. I know she has my letter. Yesterday I put it where she would find it, and I know she did. Did she read it? I think so, but I don't know so. It's long. I saw her twice yesterday. I met her over at her parents' house while we helped them with Christmas lights. She was very nice to me, quite herself. She went to her sister's house for a while, and I saw her again when she came home last night. Again, she was very nice to me.

But not a word about the letter....yet.

Pins and needles!

[Jasmine Ellis]

Hi Marla dear.
I wish you all the luck from here in the UK love. All the best

[Kaitlyn Michele]

fingers crossed!

[Missy Anne's GG]

Hi Marla,

I've been thinking about you and hoping all goes well with you and your wife.

Hugs,

Missy Anne's GG

[sherri]

*groan* The suspense is killing me. Can we call her or something? :p

[TGMarla]

Look, I'm sorry the ol' soap opera is taking so long to get to the new episodes, but she hasn't said word one to me yet. She got the letter yesterday morning. She's been very nice to me since then, but hasn't discussed with me anything at all concerning the contents of that letter. I have not attempted to broach the topic with her, since I kind of figure that the ball is in her court now. So I'm waiting like everyone else. I'm afraid that even though I wrote her all this, she's still going to brush it all under the rug again. What to do, what to do? So, I wait some more.

[Sharon]

You'll need to decide whether the ball's actually in her court or not Marla. It appears that your wife is hoping to avoid discussing this at all.

Wondering to myself though, it seems to me that if this really upset her, then she would have let you know. While she may not like your desires, and wishes that they didn't exist at all, maybe it's possible to sit her down and ask her what she thought about the letter. Otherwise this is just going to be hanging over both of your heads.

Anyway -- just follow your instincts and behave accordingly.

[Helana]

Hmmm....

She could at least have said she got the letter but does not want to discuss it right now. I don't think there is any harm in letting this go for a few days as it will give her time to think about the issues you wrote down. I suspect she will be reading over and over again trying to come to grips with it but dont wait too long to broach the subject.

[Kierci]

Hey Marla it keeps all coming back LOL

You'll know in time then we will know in time. :)

[Lotte L]

Marla,

Wish you and your wife all the luck and a happy end!

Lotte
:koc:

[TGMarla]

I agree, Helana. I'm going to give her about a week, but no longer. But again, one of the reasons I wrote this to her is due to my inability to broach the subject with her in conversation. Big chicken. But somehow I'm going to have to just ask her, can we discuss that letter I left for you? Yikes!

[melissacd]

Marla,

I am cross my fingers and hoping that it works out well for you. I like many here can certainly appreciate why you kept this in hiding, but also why you want this out in the open. My wish is that she loves you enough to be understanding and accepting of this very important part of who you are. It is the source of your warmth, gentleness and kindness.

Good luck and my hopes and thoughts are with you at this nail biting time.

Huggs
Melissa

[Dayna]

Marla, I hope that when you finally get to sit down and talk you are able to open up, converse, ask, answer, etc., and that it will open doors that have been closed.

I know you want her to open up to you--be sure that YOU know what you want to talk about, too, so that when it is time to turn out the lights that you both go to bed satisfied.

Good luck!

[Christina Nicole]

Marla, don't be afraid of talking to your wife about gender stuff. But, just to be safe, do it away from the kitchen and all of those sharp knives. A girl has to be careful, and you'd be missed.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[erica12b]

good luck, best wishes hugs erica

[Sarahgurl371]

Marla,
I too have "put the ball in her court" many times. I hope that your wife soon will want to talk with you about all this. For me, putting the ball in her court didn't do a thing, and I had to keep bringing it up. I agree that a certain amount of time for her to digest the contents is deserving, but don't wait too long. My Dad always says strike while the iron is hot. But in the end only you know your situation. Good Luck.

[Lulie GG]

That opening conversation is very very difficult (me and my SO have been there) how do either of you start it, and if you do where will it end what does the future hold, you are opening a can of worms. Its a frightening place to be, as I say I have been there, we are still together working through, but oh what a bumpy road, yet we love each other and that is the main thing. Just hold on in there. Everyone has said to me communication is the necessary key and it's true when we stopped communicating recently we stumbled.

I hope you talk soon and and can work thing out together.

Lulie:hugs: :hiding: