Angela Campbell
01-01-2013, 08:40 AM
So 2013 is here and as I look at the last year I see such a total change in my life that I wouldn't have dreamed of this time last year. It makes me wonder what is ahead for me.
This time last year I was married, living with my soon to be ex and her son (who wouldn't even go looking for a job) and a very closeted crossdresser. Now I had been dressing (mostly in the underclothes) since I was about 4 or so, and had never actually dressed all the way from head to toe. But I always knew I wanted to be a girl. I am attracted to women and I have succesfully kept this a secret from all for all these years. The marriage was failing for sure but not because of my dressing because that was never known but to myself.
During the year the step son went back to live with his father, and eventually in early July my wife decided to move out and live on her own. No fighting, no hard feelings and in fact we are still very friendly. We just had no love or any intimacy left.
Almost the same week she moved out I purchased some clothes. I usually did this only when out of town and staying in hotels and then threw then all out before returning home. But for the first time in my life I was living alone and didn't have to let the clothes go. I found a wig my ex left behind and didn't want. I tried it on and thats when I decided to try to dress all the way. I went out and bought an entire outfit, even shoes. I got some makeup and for the first time in my life I dressed all the way with makeup, wig, shoes the works.
When I was done up all the way I stared at the mirror and for the first time in my life I knew I couldn't deny that I am a transexual. I finally saw a woman looking back and my life changed in that moment. It hit me hard too.The realization of what I am could not be denied or ignored ever again.
Since that day I have done so much. I have lost over 85 lbs, I have learned a lot about makeup, body shaping and aquired a lot of clothes. I have joined two TG groups in my area and have actually gone out in public several times.
This has progressed a lot over the last 6 months. Sometimes I even think too fast. Since I live alone I dress every day unless I have to go to work or somewhere else I don't wish to be seen as a woman. and every day I lean more and more towards living as a woman completely. Just last night I had a dream I was out in public with my Mother and dressed as a woman. She does not know and I really cannot imagine telling her but I guess in my subconcious I am leaning in that direction.
So I have to wonder what the next year or two have in store for me. I feel like I was born again last July and I am living a completely new life.
This time last year I was married, living with my soon to be ex and her son (who wouldn't even go looking for a job) and a very closeted crossdresser. Now I had been dressing (mostly in the underclothes) since I was about 4 or so, and had never actually dressed all the way from head to toe. But I always knew I wanted to be a girl. I am attracted to women and I have succesfully kept this a secret from all for all these years. The marriage was failing for sure but not because of my dressing because that was never known but to myself.
During the year the step son went back to live with his father, and eventually in early July my wife decided to move out and live on her own. No fighting, no hard feelings and in fact we are still very friendly. We just had no love or any intimacy left.
Almost the same week she moved out I purchased some clothes. I usually did this only when out of town and staying in hotels and then threw then all out before returning home. But for the first time in my life I was living alone and didn't have to let the clothes go. I found a wig my ex left behind and didn't want. I tried it on and thats when I decided to try to dress all the way. I went out and bought an entire outfit, even shoes. I got some makeup and for the first time in my life I dressed all the way with makeup, wig, shoes the works.
When I was done up all the way I stared at the mirror and for the first time in my life I knew I couldn't deny that I am a transexual. I finally saw a woman looking back and my life changed in that moment. It hit me hard too.The realization of what I am could not be denied or ignored ever again.
Since that day I have done so much. I have lost over 85 lbs, I have learned a lot about makeup, body shaping and aquired a lot of clothes. I have joined two TG groups in my area and have actually gone out in public several times.
This has progressed a lot over the last 6 months. Sometimes I even think too fast. Since I live alone I dress every day unless I have to go to work or somewhere else I don't wish to be seen as a woman. and every day I lean more and more towards living as a woman completely. Just last night I had a dream I was out in public with my Mother and dressed as a woman. She does not know and I really cannot imagine telling her but I guess in my subconcious I am leaning in that direction.
So I have to wonder what the next year or two have in store for me. I feel like I was born again last July and I am living a completely new life.