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Frédérique
01-01-2013, 09:34 PM
“It is in the nature of children to form perverse allegiances.” (a line from The Hound of the Baskervilles)

You could also say, with a straight face, where did it all go RIGHT? It all depends how you look at it, all things being relative, or subjective, as the case may be. I don’t think that things have gone horribly wrong – look, Ma, I’m only crossdressing! I confess I may not be in accordance with an established standard, and I may not be suitable or appropriate, but, believe me, I am not at all immoral (IMHO). I am functioning properly, and I am aligned with truth, in fact I hold these truths to be self-evident. Male clothing shows the “wrong” side of me, so I literally turn things inside-out and show the other side of me that everyone insists I hide from view. Have I wronged anyone by doing so? Have I wronged MYSELF, I wonder?

As indicated by the quote (seen above), it all began in childhood. I was developing normally, as a boyish boy of the boy persuasion, and something happened. I don’t know what it was. Either I was admonished or scorned badly at school, or I was the victim of an emotional upheaval at home. This episode is buried in my psyche, and I’m either in denial that it occurred, or I’m being too acute in my personal research – maybe nothing happened, other than a boy gradually seeing (and feeling) that he is something other than a boy. As such, I became withdrawn and isolated; looking within for truths I did not yet understand. I developed my artistic abilities, slowly but surely painting myself into a corner, and crossdressing grew out of this condition as an offshoot...

Art and crossdressing are definitely “perverse allegiances,” innocent by nature but inextricably linked with the senses. For me, anything visual was fascinating, but other boys formed their own perversions, even as they kept up normal appearances, so to say. My love of beauty didn’t jibe with boyish perversions. Some boys were fascinated by horror, or violence, while others couldn’t complete a sentence without inserting a scatological reference. Now that I’m grown (physically if not mentally), I can recognize these other grown boys sprinkled throughout real life and the media. Since horror, violence, and bathroom humor are accepted norms for male behavior, why isn’t effeminacy seen in a good light, at least once in a Blue Moon? We MtF crossdressers are wronged repeatedly, meaning everyone thinks badly about us, without justification I might add...

Some boys are going to go in this direction, namely getting in touch with their inherent feminine sensibilities, and it becomes a courageous struggle to exist, much like a round peg trying to fit into the proverbial square hole. I went through the normal (and accepted) period of violence that most boys experience, but I emerged on the other side, feeling guilty about what I had done. Gradually I became more and more aware of my true nature, in line with my mother’s gentle compassion, and I sought to be less of a boy and more of a girl – no easy task when you’re NOT transgendered in any way, but at least I could wear girl’s clothes and sooth my troubled spirit. Being young, and being told continually what NOT to do, I gravitated towards something truly wrong, not only socially but sexually as well. The truth is, I felt I was only doing what came naturally – if I had not tried to wear girl’s clothes, I would forever injure myself by being untrue...

Wrongness, first cousin of perversion, is always attractive to the young – if you’re being told not to do something, over and over, you WILL end up doing it, perhaps as soon as possible. On the other hand, if there is something you’ve never heard of, or something you’ve never seen, you will hear about it, or see it, and you will be inspired to try something that is WRONG in the hearts and minds of others. However, at the end of the day you can still appear innocent, even appear normal if the situation demands it. I strive to keep my mind forever young, always knowing there is a new perversion just over the horizon. As Oscar Wilde once said, “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it...” This is how I (thankfully) came to form a perverse allegiance with MtF crossdressing, and I am devoted to the cause. I’m forever grateful that things went WRONG, in fact I couldn’t help myself. Well, gotta go – I have to look for more perverse worlds to conquer…
:battingeyelashes:

Where did it all go wrong (right) for YOU? :thinking:

Angela Campbell
01-01-2013, 09:44 PM
I don't think that crossdressing is usually caused by some event in life. It is possible but I expect it is the same reason some people like asparagus and some don't. Many people will blindly follow the crowd all of their lives and do what is expected of them and walk the line. Others will do all kinds of things outside of the rules. Some do drugs, some steal or commit violence. Some choose to wear clothes they are not expected to wear. Personally I do not like asparagus and I do wear womens clothes. I do so for reasons different from you, but both of us made a choice because we wanted to. The only thing WRONG is that we do not blindly follow the lemmings over the cliff. We chose our own path.

Bo-peep
01-01-2013, 11:29 PM
I don't think that crossdressing is usually caused by some event in life. It is possible but I expect it is the same reason some people like asparagus and some don't. Many people will blindly follow the crowd all of their lives and do what is expected of them and walk the line. Others will do all kinds of things outside of the rules. Some do drugs, some steal or commit violence. Some choose to wear clothes they are not expected to wear. Personally I do not like asparagus and I do wear womens clothes. I do so for reasons different from you, but both of us made a choice because we wanted to. The only thing WRONG is that we do not blindly follow the lemmings over the cliff. We chose our own path.

The only thing wrong in my opinion is that society rejects those of us who do not 'conform' ...... once we choose our own path, society makes it a steep and rocky path that becomes very hard to walk.

Beverley Sims
01-02-2013, 03:05 AM
Art and crossdressing may be “perverse allegiances,” but they do go hand in hand with other male "art" lovers.

Miriam-J
01-02-2013, 09:20 AM
As a child all was black and white. Wearing boy clothes was right and wearing girl clothes was wrong. And I clung to that black and white view of the world. Except ... when young me was away from home on a couple of occasions and had forgotten to pack underwear, and my mom decided to borrow my cousin's underwear for me (a female cousin) - somehow she thought that was all right. Except ... when teenage me snuck into the bedroom of my three sisters and noticed how stimulating the soft cloth was. Except ... when my impulses overcame my self-imposed shame to "borrow" those wonderfully stimulating clothing items. All these exceptions gave me room to question some of my neat black/white rules. Still, I clung to my rules and felt shame instead.

As an adult I learned to relax so many of my black/white rules, gradually discarding so many of my fundamental assumptions. I came to accept that what does no harm d,oes not deserve such axiomatic condemnation. I first applied this relaxation in other realms and, decades later, to my private world of crossdressing. This is where it finally went right for me, learning that all had actually gone right for me so long before when I was just too stubborn to recognize it.

Miriam

Angela Campbell
01-02-2013, 09:26 AM
The only thing wrong in my opinion is that society rejects those of us who do not 'conform' ...... once we choose our own path, society makes it a steep and rocky path that becomes very hard to walk.

Yes true. But we knew all about that condemnation and chose the path anyway. I don't always stay within the speed limit either but I know I could get a ticket for it.

sometimes_miss
01-02-2013, 09:31 AM
Have we 'wronged' anyone? Only those who expect anything at all from us. Our parents, who wanted to raise socially successful men, having good jobs, marrying good women, and being male standards for the boys to emulate. Instead of being someone people snicker at behind our backs for being 'sissies'. Our other male friends, who will now automatically be suspect for being either gay or being crossdressers themselves. Our wives, who cringe at the thought of becoming the woman known by others as 'you know, the wife of that crossdresser'. Or our kids (if we have any), who will have to put up with other children's comments about having a pervert for a dad. Yeah, that's who. And while I don't think any of that is acceptable behavior by other members of society, that is exactly what will happen. The world is generally not a friendly place to those of us who don't 'fit in'.

Angela Campbell
01-02-2013, 09:42 AM
I was called a sissy the entire time I was growing up. And no one then even had a clue that I wore the clothes at times. I was just not very masculine and there was nothing I could do about it. Society is just programmed to attack anything out of the norm. Especially the males.

MsRenee
01-02-2013, 10:04 AM
Took me a long portion of my life to feel out what was wrong and 8 years ago I began to right a wrong I had in my life and now, life feels more normal as to say. I kniw alot of others here who knew long ago they were different. it just took me longer and not sure why. But if not happy the only thing to do is fix it and make yourself happy.
Renee

kimdl93
01-02-2013, 10:24 AM
Since I believe I am transgendered, I have accepted the idea that my differences are borne into me, just as my greenish blue eyes, right-handedness and blonde hair. I was exhibiting something that my siblings and parents noticed (and discouraged in ways subtle and not so subtle), but that didn't make it go away. I even attempted, quite deliberately, to suppress this part of myself and that didn't work either. As a result for years, I felt that whatever it was, was wrong. And I harbored a deep seated self loathing that seeped into other aspects of my life, with a variety of adverse consequences. It wasn't until I began to realize that it wasn't WRONG, that I was able to shed that self loathing, and eventuallly began to like who I am.

So where did it go right - when I learned to accept myself as transgendered.

Angela Campbell
01-02-2013, 10:30 AM
There is the bottom line.....where did it go right? For me it went wrong at birth and it turned around this last summer.

Cynthia Anne
01-02-2013, 10:39 AM
I see nothing wrong with trying to put a square peg in a round hole just one time; just to be curious! But when you try the same thing over and over exspecting differant results each time you have a problem! Why should I deny myself of the things that feels so right and normal!

Alice Torn
01-02-2013, 10:41 AM
I was always picked on in schools. Something different about me, and kids and teachers saw it, years before trying on some hose. I finally got on the baseball team in high school, seldom played. I usually struck out when i batted, as a right handed batter. Years later, i tried hitting rocks left handed, and found, that i was a natural left handed batter! Too late for high school though. Decades later, at age 51 bought my first dress, and heels. I must admit, that there is still some guilt, and shame. I am learning to accept both my male side and female side.

DonniDarkness
01-02-2013, 11:38 AM
Freddy i am amazed at the fact you have such a personal perception of gender ambiguity and still hold on to the notion that you are not TG.

Most of your writings correlate with how you "Feel" or "What part effeminacy" inspires you and are riddled with these subtle ques that promote the whole idea of crossing the gender "line"

From the way you speak of femininity in others, to the way you speak of crossdressing as an actual "act" of gender expression, to the philosophical theories you ponder in order to express how you feel that crossdressing "corrects" your state of gender.

If "wrongness" is always attractive to the young....one could also say that "Denial" is always attractive to the selective ignorance of wisdom.

-Donni-