What it you were given a choice

[Aloha Jayne]

Ok, let's go back to when you were 4 or 5 or 14 or 40 something.... whenever you first began to realize you were "different". Then think about from that point until where you are now.....considering your relationships, friends, family, career choices, losses, failures and successes.

If you had a wish that was granted, would you go back and choose to not be this. Would you wish that this was not a part of your life and you never had to deal with the issues of your life regarding being different. What would you do?

I know most of you are happy that you are who you are, and so am I. But if you could choose, what would you choose?

Just curious to see how many would choose to not be this.

[gailprice]

I would do it all again except i wish i had come out of the closet earlier. I love who i am xx

[Beverley Sims]

I think I would have taken the same path only come out sooner.

[NyssaF]

Like Gail, I would do it all again. But I wouldn't have stopped going out dressed. I did so three or four times back in my mid-20s and loved it. But then I met the woman who is now my wife, and pulled myself into the closet big-time. I wish I had kept going with going out.

[AngieStone]

Seems like the theme is starting sooner. That would have been my wish as well. Still love doing it,but wish I would of started going out when I was younger.

[Angela Campbell]

I agree, I would have started coming out much sooner. I think if I could really change anything though the one thing I would change if I could would be to have been born a girl.

[MsRenee]

Id keep everything the same. but would have told my wife. first before she had found my things.
Renee

[Pretty Nails]

Like the others I would have come out sooner. I would not have kept it from my wife even though I may have not been able to marry her. This is part of who I am and its also a very fun part. Dressing and make-up and playing the girl parts of life are very rewarding in their own ways.

Funny that even though I also enjoy much of my man life I wish I could have had real boobs.

Hugs to all for the new year.

Victoria

[mariehart]

I was around 12 years old when I began to realise I was different and began tentative dressing and fervently wishing I was a girl. There were indications earlier though. I had no real clue what it all meant. Different times, far less information. I would wish that I knew then what I know now.

In theory that is. Because in reality I would change nothing. Simply because I have two beautiful little boys and would do nothing that would cause them never to exist. So I'm stuck really!

[andrea35]

Yes I still would have been who I am now but certainly would not have had so many relationships to deny my inner feelings. I would have surround myself with more accepting people.

[danielleinbr]

I would not have changed anything. I am happy with the person I am. Regrets, what if's, are a waste of energy and emotion. Embrace who you are and be happy.
Hugs ;)

[Kate Simmons]

Simple really Hon. I would have chosen to be a girl of course. I would be a family matriarch by now.:battingeyelashes::)

[Stephanie47]

It seems this subject crops up every several weeks, if not more. For me, I fully accept who I am. That being said, if I never was a cross dresser because I never had the urge, that would be fine with me. Life would certainly have been less complicated. I'm sure the number of men who have suffered great angst over their dressing would be in agreement.

[Sylvermane]

It's hard to say. On the one hand I've enjoyed the few times I've been able to express myself. On the other hand I wish it didn't cause so much turmoil in my life. I think if I had to choose I would chose to not be the way I am, it has just caused to many problems. However if I could start over completely and choose my gender from the start I would have chosen female.

[Aloha Jayne]

Thanks for the replies so far. looks like most of you, so far, wouldn't change anything. but I'm not looking for choices you have or have not made along the way, but if you could choose to have never been this in the first place. Stephanie and Sylvermane seem to think life would have been easier otherwise.

Let me know what the rest of you think.

[Angela Campbell]

I get too much enjoyment from dressing to not have it in my life. I would keep it the same no matter.

[Alice Torn]

I think i would have not been born with this tendency, as it has helped make my life very lonely, isolated, in conflict with religion, society, and others.

[AllyCDTV]

No way I'd want to miss all the fun I've had over the last few years through crossdressing.

[Krististeph]

Probably prefer not to have been born this way, but i'd still like to have been aware of it- it's offered some great insights on relating to GG (genetic girls) throughout the years. Then again, I'm assuming some of my problems growing up were related to being a CD, which they may not have been.

But if born, say to parents of my siblings age (meaning 20-24 years later than i was, or even only 12 years later than I was, would have made fitting into society much easier.

I might have opted to be female, but the female siblings in my family are a little wacky, then again so are the guys. Definately would have been different. probably would not have joined the Army, which had a positive influence despite plenty of negatives too.

And also of course, just what Ally said just above!!

Good question, (Not that I have not been thinking about this at least once a week for the last third of a century...)

[RenneB]

It's kind of like the butterfly effect, where in the end he figures out that he never should have met the girl when he was little in the first place, the entire timeline would be different. If only my folks didn't send me over to the neighbors house all those many years ago (I was 4 - neighbor's kid GG was 5) and if only I didn't see that balerina dress in their living room and if only my folks didn't send me over there a few days later ..... Then again.... fast forward a whole bunch of decades... if only the internet was invented a couple of decades earlier..... yada yada yada.... too many if onlys.

Life is a series of events and choices... each one has an effect on the rest of your life...

Renne......

[Andinera]

I would be anything else if I could. An addiction to anything, a hobby to occupy all my time, or even born a female would meet my approval. Not that I don't enjoy the way I am, nor do I have any regrets but having fear or contempt in some of the basic activities in life is less than desireable.

[Marleena]

As much as this was a huge struggle at times I'm totally fine with it now. I only wish I knew what was going on earlier in my life and embraced it sooner.

[Dinsdale]

Hi Jayne,
This is a tricky one.
Given the cost to my Marriage and the amount of potential female partners that are put off and are threatened by crossdressing , I probably would say I would prefer not to crossdress.
In saying that , The thrill of wearing womens attire and the choice of clothing /fabrics ,underwear, make up, that men dont have , makes crossdressing fun and something I know That will always be part of my life.
So it is a double-edged sword really.

[docrobbysherry]

#1. Live forever and never age past year 21. (Is that one wish?) Yes! Because I wish it so!:devil:

#2. Everything I want whenever I want it!

#3. Shape changer. Into anything, anyone, any gender, any time! Woof! Woof!:eek:
(Not my best choice of shapes!)

[AngoraGirl]

Guess I'm in the minority but if I could go back and not have this be a part of my life I would definitely choose that. I've accepted myself as a crossdresser and definitely enjoy it but it has caused a lifetime of stress, anxiety and sneaking around behind the backs of everyone I love. It's put a strain on my marriage since coming out to my non-accepting wife. No doubt in my mind I wish I wasn't born this way...

[KiwiKate]

At this point I would definitely prefer not to have the desire to crossdress.Only because of all the problems it brings to my wife and myself.Because I do it in "secret" I really never have the chance to relax and enjoy dressing up,I just get to throw on a few bits,usually no makeup and have a quick w**k (I hope it's okay to say that) so it can leave me feeling a bit empty and unsatisfied.On the other hand if my wife suddenly did a complete U turn and wanted to turn me in to a girl WOO HOO!

[Jessica86]

I wouldn't take anything back. I wasted almost half of my life trying to live for someone else. That....ended in my first divorce of a life long friend, partner, and lover. I learned a long time ago do not live for someone else. Live for yourself and do all that you can (within reason of course) to make yourself have a good time.

[Tracii G]

I realized I was different at around 15 or so but didn't know what it was.I dabbled with dressing a few times then because the girls I hung out with wanted to dress me as a girl.
I loved it at the time but felt I had to prove my manliness around 17-18 years old.
Did a lot of crazy stuff to prove I had a man card.
If I had come out then knowing what I know now I would be a trans woman right now.
I'm happy with who I am and would never change a thing.I feel more female that male inside and that is a good thing IMO.
To me its a blessing to be able to swap genders at will at least in an outward appearance.

[Edyta_C]

I would not. I was raised as a girl until almost 5. My Dad forced the switch. I think that 60 yrs ago, I would not have had a career and would have been a Mom. Think now, I would like that but would have liked a career too. So it really is a difficult call.

Edy

[5150 Girl]

If I had a choice, I would have chosen to be a GG from my earliest memories. However, I'm not sure that this ansersd the origonal post, I think the spirit this post intenends to ask is if one regets beeing TG... I have to say no, however, I wish I had the guts to come out back in kindergarden.

[AnitaH]

No I wouldn't change it at all. It has cost me anguish and no little amount of stress still I wouldn't change it. There is one thing I would change. About 25 years ago I had a brief thought of transition and possibly SRS but I let what others thought I should be rule my days. I let fear and lack of information determine my future. The one thing I would change if I could would be to have had the courage to do what I should have done then.

I'm not going to let the past get to me today but I am now taking measures to correct that path today.

AnitaH

[Leah Lynn]

I was four, and knew I was different. After getting caught in a dress, I was beaten and told I was sick. I would not care to return to that, but I would like to return to my teens, and know that I didn't have to be who everyone expected me to be. I have many fond memories from my life's experiences, but I'd rather have become who I am now, back then.


Better yet! Let me become four years old, NOW, and have loving, understanding parents that would nurture the girl within, rather than beat her out of me!

[Lady Catherine]

No, but my 20's would be a lot more fun then they were, that's for sure.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I just would have accepted it far sooner, and saved a lot of anguish and misery over the years. That and I also would have taken better care of my skin. I also dread thinking of life being completely normal, no fun at all.

[SweetHailey]

I would have told my Mom and had her help my explore it. I think she would have liked that, and I know I'd have loved it! Though I'd be surprised if she didn't at least know I was in her things while she was out of the house, especially because of how many times I did it and had to put things back in a hurry. We always think we're smarter than them at a young age, so I'm sure I left signs more often than I realized.

[Lorileah]

What is today? Wednesday?

It depends on the day and time. 99% of the time I love who I am. Then there is the 1% where I say to myself "self" because that's what I call myself when I talk to me "Self, don't you wonder what it is like to be a real guy? You know the he man macho type of guy who likes sports and boats and stuff?" Then I say "you know self, it does not look like much fun, so be happy" Then I buy myself a beer and watch football on TV

[Suzy Parker]

"What it you were given a choice"

Never in a million years would I choose not to have this in my life. It is part of who I am. I like who I am, I just wish I could be more open about it with my wife. Maybe Someday.

[Dana L]

I guess life would have been much easier had I never had the urge to be female. There again if I had just been born female that would've solved all my issues growing up too. Just would've wanted my body to match my mind, and if that wasn't possible then I wished I could have come out sooner. I started CDing at 9 years old(probobly didn't even know why) had issues till about 14 till I was able to lock them away, but they came back in my 20's then came out to my wife in my 30's. Still struggling with it in my 40's. Only Dana never getting locked away again! She's a part of me, I love her and she makes me feel good.

[LisaSue]

If I understand the question correctly, my answer would be that I actually would not change the fact that I am different or the way I feel. For all the struggles it has caused me over the years, my desire to dress and act as a girl/woman has made me the person I am. I am very blessed in life and mostly happy with who I am, and the feminine side of me is partly responsible for the good place I'm at now.

[MaryAnn40c]

I think I would have come out early...would have enjoyed if the Web was invented in the 80's....I would of had all you ladies to talk to.

[Cheryl T]

If I had a wish that was granted I would go back to being about 10 and wish to be female.

[Traceyjo]

Ever since I discovered my feminine self when I was in my late 30s, I have considered it to be a wonderful gift that has added so much pleasure and excitement to my life. There is no way I would ever wish it away. I still enjoy everything I had before but I now have this "bonus" that I am so grateful to have discovered and only wish I could spend more time being Tracey.

[Rogina B]

As I look back,I realize how strong my attraction was to girls since very young. I played it out sexually since a young teen but really it seems that I was more attracted to her style,then the person with it. So,I had relationships with a whole lot of girls and women as a result from my wanting to really be a girl. And so many years later,things don't change much. This is why I really support the "Queer kid groups" as I personally know how important it is to find your true self at a young age and go with it. Many of us have" pretended for the real world"in order to "have success in life",yet the female persona keeps getting stronger as we age!

[VikkiDave]

I must admit that other than being born female, I wouldn't change anything other than allowing the real me out earlier

[Sandra bailey]

I often wish I could start again with what I know now, if we could be born old and get younger everything would be easier, when you are young and not the same as everybody else life is such a struggle

[noeleena]

Hi,

What could i be gifted with that i dont have now, I belive iv been given what i needed, from age 10 on, to be different & that means being intersexed, a mix of both male & female. no changes there ,

...noeleena...

[Joy3]

I totally agree with AngoraGirl! She describes my feelings exactly!

[Carla4Guage]

Due to the fact that I didn't start until I was almost 60, I have a hard time imagining what I would have been like at an earlier age. I think I made my decision to first explore and later develope my feminine persona when I was ready to accept it. Prior to that I was in the military (20 years) and raising a family. I did what I did for ME! The time was right and the feelings verified that I was doing what I needed and wanted to do. My wish is that I had done a better job of explaining myself to my wife. Perhaps then she would have been more supportive. As it is she knows, prefers to not be involved and knows that I have this need to do my thing. Those of you with supportive wives or SO's should kiss the ground they walk on as they are so rare.

[Aloha Jayne]

I have to admit I'm torn. It has caused stress in my marriage and have spent a lifetime of sneaking around and telling one lie to cover up another lie. Now, I'm faced with either a life of not being who I am, or living alone. Not sure which is worse. But I embrace my differences and am proud to not be the same as everyone else. If it wasn't CDing, I would probably be into something else just as, or even more disruptive.

[elizabethamy]

Do things happen for a reason? I'm not religious but have always believed that. So what does it mean that we all have this socially-taboo need, and that many of us invested deeply in marriages and mortgages and children before we even knew it in ourselves? It's nice to wish it had never happened, or that it had been known earlier, but I think the challenge now is to look at the present and the future -- what does it mean and what are we to do with it?

elizabethamy

[Alexis.j]

Wish i realised earlier though, always knew there was something different, and the fact that I am a shy person dont help much either...Still trying to find myself exactly, and to come out of the closet... O Well, Its a stressfull and confusing time in my life at the moment.
I take one day at a time though, and am enjoying the new female part of myself.
Finding a partner i guess would be challanging though. (Im straight),
But would I change anything so far??? Hell No! Im enjoying everything so far!!!

[Fiona K]

Yeah, in common with many, I wish Id known/understood what I am and come out way earlier.
I do wonder if my confused, miserable, bullied 14 year old self was around today whether I wouldn't have taken the early transition path slowly becoming available to teens today.

[JoAnnDallas]

I came out at age 50 which means I wasted over 40 years LOL.

[Jessica_M]

This is probably a stretch of the question.... I think I am where I am because of the choices I've already made. I did decide many many years ago to grab whatever little bits of time I could to let Jessica develop. As others here have said... I am so greatfull to have Jessica, I couldn't imagine making any decision that would change my ability to become Jessica. My only regret is that I do still "steal time" to be Jessica, as Jessica is not "out", and wish that I had more time to live as Jessica... although I would never want to change having the family in my life that I am fortunate to have. It is a dilemma..and I don't know where it's going to lead.

[Jorja]

I think I chose well and have enjoyed every day since.

[Tess]

I wouldn't change a thing. Its been fun from the start and it is still fun more than a half century later.

[AimeeG]

I've thought about this for the last couple days and other than no I wouldn't change, but...
I wish I could go back to when I was 13 and ate nothing but Doritos for the summer...still working on that belly.
I wish today was my 22nd birthday, but I had the same paycheck, knowledge, propery, savings I have now.
I wish when I was 19 I didn't work out so much giving this broad chest.
I wish that size two clothes didn't look so much better on the rack than my size or that I was a size 2.
Time to wake up from dreaming...thanks!

[NyssaF]

To be more concise: I would not change that part of myself. Being a cross-dresser is part of who I am. I would never want that taken away from me, nor would I give it up if I had been given a choice back when I was 4.

[StarrOfDelite]

I totally misread the OP, and didn't understand the question properly, hence the edit.

I came to the realization that I am a bisexual cross-dresser in my early 40's. After a lot of self-analysis I decided I probably had been latently predisposed to those things since a very early age, and had successfully suppressed them for thirty-five years or so.

I suppose that if I could have never found those things about myself that I might be happier now, but I really doubt that was possible. Life has a way of catching up with our inner selves in the long run.

My daydreams run more to the "what if I'd only found out sooner" variety.

I am now close to 60, and I expect that if the world had been as relatively open when I was 13 or 14 as it is now, that maybe I might have experimented, and discovered self-truths a lot sooner. But, the fact is that the world was what it was in the 1960's and early 1970's, and gender experimentation and choice was not even remotely considered to be an option by persons who did not feel at a very early age like a woman in a man's body. For me, there were incidents which evoked occasional confusion and questions, but those were easily pushed into the background by familial and social pressure to succeed at sports, education, military service, marriage, fatherhood, and career advancement. They came back with full force when I started wondering who I really was, and helped me realize how much I had been sublimating and suppressing.

It's fun to occasionally day-dream about what life would have been like if I'd arrived at the point where I am presently when I was 18 or 20, but in order for that to have occurred I'd have to wish away my children and grandchildren, and whatever I accomplished in my public life as an athlete, student, soldier, and professional. I've had plenty of losses, disappointments, and failures, too, and, while they hurt, and some still sting in my memory occasionally when I cannot get to sleep at night, I wouldn't wish them away because they are all part of the package called Life.

So, my final answer is, No, I would change nothing.

[SAMANN]

I have asked myself this question many times over the last 20 years. If I could change anything I would of had my parents make a different decision when I was born. Instead of fixing the boy parts make them girl parts and raise me as a girl. I think I would have been happier and more complete as a person. Unfortunately we don't have this option to go back and change things we can only move forward and hope/pray that we make the right decisions now.

[Jenny Gurl]

I knew I had a fem side as early as 4 or 5 years old. I would have accepted who I am a lot sooner, saved myself years of self doubt, confusion, and misery. I kind of like having two people living inside me. I get the insight and viewpoints of both genders. I don't think I would want to give up who I am.

[CassandraSmith]

Simple really Hon. I would have chosen to be a girl of course. I would be a family matriarch by now.:battingeyelashes::)

That's deep. Me too.

[phelicia]

I'm in the minority on this subject, if I had a choice I wouldn't be a crossdresser. After almost 30 years of feelings of why am I doing this, this is wrong, why am I putting on women's clothes and the physiological analyzing of myself, it was hard. Within the last year I've finally started to accept it as part of me. I still put a lot of limitations on dressing but hey, baby steps, it took me along time to get to this point

[Marie-Elise]

My problem was self awareness from the time I was a nine year old kid stealing my sister's panties and wearing them under my clothes. I was not aware this was a "thing". I mean, throughout my teens, twenties, thirties and half my forties until I told my wife and found this site, it was not a "thing" for me. I just got sexually excited when I wore female clothing. I did it once in a while in private but it was never something that I thought of as an identity.

The night I told my wife this turns me on, she had me put on her slip and watched me get aroused. The next day, I found this site and encouraged her to join and see what it's about but, to the best of my knowledge, she has not done that. That night, though, was the first time I thought of myself as a crossdresser (meaning: identified myself as such).

So, if I could go back twenty years, I would have experimented with crossdressing as an identity. I think I would have made a pretty girl. I am curious today what I would look like as a full dressed and made up woman.

[FrozenShiela]

I would stay as I am, because I love the feelings that crossdressing offers me!

[Michelle03]

I'll tell ya like my grandpa would tell me, "I wouldn't trade this life for all the money in the world, but I wouldn't pay a dime for another one just like it."

[janet23cd]

I wouldn't do much differently. Maybe come out to my GG friends sooner than my late 20s. Other than that, I'm pretty content with the way things are.