Some Thoughts on Being Girly

[litangel]

My goal, has never been to be feminine, but to be myself, whether that seem masculine or feminine. I have tried just letting myself be, in certain situations. But my male programming is so strong, that I tend to stay in a partially rigid shut down male self, unless I actively shake up my way of being. So I found it very growthful to specifically work at being girly in specific ways. Once I am free, and feel like I have full permission to be masculine or feminine, that I can see who I really am.
One specific way I am living this out right now, is with the way my body moves. Even though my body is pretty loose for a male bodied person, I still sense a tightness and rigidity around my shoulders and chest, and around my jaws and my face sometimes. I have to practice either relaxing those areas, or specifically allowing myself to move in a girly way, to get those areas to free up.
Especially when I dance, I am learning to move my hips and torso in ways that are sensual, sexy, not just for other people, but for me, how it feels in my body. Sometimes I will emulate a specific woman on the dance floor, and I have been practicing dancing like the female images in the Wii game, Just Dance 4, especially the Hip shaking and thrusting in "Umbrella" and the sexy hand movements in "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"

[Angela Campbell]

It is hard to shake off the decades of male training we were forced to undergo isn't it. I have never danced much because I always felt like a man dancing looks so ...well ...not right in some way. A bit clumsy in a lot of cases. As a woman I have tried a little and it looks a lot better, but I really do not know how. I would like to learn how though.

[Nanaya]

I think setting behaviors and personality traits as male or female is wrong, personally. It's the epitome of social bias.

As far as I'm concerned, girls and boys can act however they like without having to fit into any kind of preconceived "mold". And acting outside of said mold shouldn't be something that's looked down upon. And I do include dancing into this. As a boy, I've never really acted like what most people would consider "manly". But I don't think it makes me less of a male for it.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm a "natural" acting girly on the dance floor. Mostly, I guess, because I was taught to dance by lipstick lesbian gals. Works for me. ;):)

[Billie1]

I am more moved by my state of mind when getting girly. I feel so much more relaxed, natural and at
peace when en femme. Maybe because the choices in makeup, clothes, (especially what's underneath!:eek:)
and hair create a different "me" when I dress. Because it seems so easy to present a different persona
and level of sensuality/sexuality, I feel much more in control. The sensation of peace, well-being and
relaxation then just seem to take over the way I move, think and act.

With apologies to Buck and Ringo,
"All I gotta do is act naturally"

[Beverley Sims]

There is a bit of act your age going on here.
I would say on the dance floor fooling around with others I would act girly and enjoy myself being downright stupid.
Not enough to denigrate the female image I try to portray.
If I am mixing with younger girls I would temper it all accordingally as I would with those in my age group.
Being girly generally and giggling if I was trying on a pretty piece of clothing would not be my style.
I may admire and accept it but not turn all flowery over it.
Being girly is for 16-20 year olds. (Smiley omitted.)

[litangel]

There is a bit of act your age going on here.
I would say on the dance floor fooling around with others I would act girly and enjoy myself being downright stupid.
Not enough to denigrate the female image I try to portray.
If I am mixing with younger girls I would temper it all accordingally as I would with those in my age group.
Being girly generally and giggling if I was trying on a pretty piece of clothing would not be my style.
I may admire and accept it but not turn all flowery over it.
Being girly is for 16-20 year olds.

Beverly, I honor your experience, but just as there are gender stereotypes there are age stereotypes, and I am glad to say I do not fit. I am 57, and my "inner child" has never gone away. Even in male mode, I know how to play. It is just that there is more of a soft giggliness, and sensuality when I am being girly. In male mode on the dance floor I will slam dance with the right people, and I will pick up partners and twirl them around.

Kim, who does not "act his age"

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds like you are a fun person Kim. I'm 65 but definitely don't "act my age" on the dance floor, just have fun feeling light and free. It would be neat to meet you sometime. :)

[litangel]

You totally sound fun, too, Kate!