Lessons From Lesbian Love

[litangel]

One of the hardest parts of coming out has been, that I lost my sense of how to flirt, I just didn't have a template for what femme to femme flirting looked like (I still feel mostly attracted to women). Recently I saw a little lesbian flirting and kissing on a TV show (Degrassi, which is a teen show, but realistic and well done), and seeing that image really helped my brain understand what fem to fem flirting could look and feel like for me.

[bobbimo]

It looks like you stumped everyone with this one. Its an interesting problem, how to switch off the male courting instincts and insert female ones??
Bobbi

[diannecourtney]

Suggested that to the ex before she was the ex and the world exploded.....................

[suzy1]

Suggested that to the ex before she was the ex and the world exploded.....................

That sounds like it was painful!:straightface:

You could try REDTUBE and click on Lesbian if you have an open mind? [Yes I know its not very true to life but it is fun]:heehee:

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes only another woman understands and knows what a woman wants.:)

[Melissa Rose]

From my perspective, what the OP is describing is not the same as lesbian love or fem to fem flirting. If one party is a CD or TS and the other a GG (I'm assuming the OP means a GG when referring to women), it is not quite the same. The assumption is the reciprocal flirting rules and techniques between GGs and CDs or TSs are the same as for two GG lesbians, and lesbian flirting is an one size fits almost all situation. I cannot quite fully articulate it in writing, but IMHO that is a partially faulty assumption. The dynamics and underlying desires are different between the two, thus it is not quite an apples to apples comparison.

I get what the OP is trying to say and there is a fair amount of truth to it, but it is not as a simple as converting to how GG lesbians flirt or how straight GGs flirt with men. There are going to some similarities, but some profound differences.

Edited to add: TV, movies, etc. may not be the best source of flirting, relationship or love advice. :-)

[Jenniferathome]

So let me understand. You want to flirt while dressed as a woman with real women? And is it your supposition that if you flirt with lesbians, you will somehow attract one?

Let me set the record straight: lesbians like WOMEN. That's why they are lesbians. Straight women will be freaked out if you try to flirt with them as a stranger. Hell, wives freak out when they see us cross dressers. Gay men, predominatly like gay MEN. There is the rare gay man who likes cross dressers and if at a gay bar, you likely do not need to flirt if that person is present.

So the moral of the story is, don't try to flirt with strange women while dressed.

[Beverley Sims]

Jennifer has some good advice, I advise you take it.
Also remember television is not real, or maybe you do not know that yet.

[Allison Chaynes]

There is a book I read years ago called "Lesbian Sex Secrets For Men" that might help.

[mikiSJ]

Unless you are dressed full-time, I would suggest you begin your quest in guy mode and seek out places where you believe you will have the most success. In general I would doubt churches would be a ripe spot. If you are young and in a college town, maybe get involved in some feminist activities or join some of the more liberal political groups. (I am not trying to indicate that religious or conservative women would not be accepting, just that litangel will have better chances if they are excluded from the search!)

I remember watching a police show maybe 20-25 years ago where a woman cop who was undercover as a dating service member and is sitting at a table in a local coffee shop. After a couple of guys show up who are obviously not the perpetrator of the crime at issues, a crossdressed guy shows up at the table - AWKWARD, yet the CD was annoyed because the woman told him to get lost!

I think the consensus here will be - don't try to do it. Your success rate will be extremely disappointing.

[CassandraSmith]

One of the hardest parts of coming out has been, that I lost my sense of how to flirt, I just didn't have a template for what femme to femme flirting looked like (I still feel mostly attracted to women). Recently I saw a little lesbian flirting and kissing on a TV show (Degrassi, which is a teen show, but realistic and well done), and seeing that image really helped my brain understand what fem to fem flirting could look and feel like for me.

Here's some movies that I found helpful:

But I'm a Cheerleader
D.E.B.S.
Elena Undone

These have lots of female to female flirting going on and they're my top en femme fun movies to watch too.

Addendum: I love how they flirt in these movies. The eye batting in Cheerleader during the toe painting scene is just precious.

[mikiSJ]

But I'm a Cheerleader
Should be a required viewing for all kids in high school!

[CassandraSmith]

Should be a required viewing for all kids in high school!

I wish I had seen it. I would have been so much more accepting of myself back then. Also, I love the irony as True Directions really does help everyone find their true direction though it's not as Mary would intend it (thanks to Lloyd and Larry). I wish I'd been shipped there when I was 17 for wearing my mom's heels even though I'm hetero.

[kimdl93]

I'm not sure how to react to this. I suppose that intimacy is a bit different between M/F and CD/F. But I was never much of a flirt.

[Veronnie2]

If your observant, you could go to a gay/lesbian bar and observe how the people react to each other. You quickly should see how flirting and meet-ups occur. If your femme, don't expect to be the hit of the bar as you may not appear to be noticed. However, speaking from an experience I had, my fourth visit I was hit on by a lesbian who was looking for a pillow princess. I was honest with her and told her who and what I was. We have become friends, and I have been introduced to many of her friends, but that is all. I have found them to be good people, just like us....Veronnie2