Learning How To Pack It Away

[Ariamythe]

How do you (or did you) cope with those long periods of time where you just couldn't dress?

The last week has been like being on a bender. [A gender bender? Ha!] My job wasn't back into full gear from the holidays, so I had a lot of time to pursue this new side of myself without abandon. It lead to one of the most comfortable days of my life: yesterday, when the family was out of the house until dinnertime and I was able to spend much of the day without a stitch of male clothing on. I still lack some important pieces (bra, shoes, hair, makeup), and what I was wearing could only charitably be called an outfit; but there was contentment in my heart yesterday.

This week marks the return of normalcy to my life. 40+ hour work week, 40 minute commute, kids and after-school activities and home repair projects and watching Downton Abbey with the wife. And this morning I'm thinking about the fact that it might be a full week before I get to "do anything" again, and it's almost soul-crushing.

I've been hiding hiding it and lying to myself for twenty years;I don't want to pack it all away again! Gah, so annoying. I've got to be me-but-not-me all week, and I think it will be a very long week, indeed.

[Kate Simmons]

Enjoy your kids and your family when you can my friend. That is one thing I never regretted even though it put a "crimp" on my dressing activities. Those family times can never be repeated.:)

[jackie_p]

Enjoy your kids and your family when you can my friend. That is one thing I never regretted even though it put a "crimp" on my dressing activities. Those family times can never be repeated.:)

I agree, enjoy your family every minute you can. I assume that you are not out with your wife
based on what you have said. Before I told my wife, I would underdress occasionally at work.
A nice pair of panties really brightens my mood :-) Good luck.

[Cheryl T]

It got to the point where I couldn't "pack it away" any longer and just came out to my wife. Best thing I ever did. Lifted all the burden and the guilt and luckily she is accepting so it was for the best in all ways.

[Kate Simmons]

I agree, enjoy your family every minute you can. I assume that you are not out with your wife
based on what you have said. Before I told my wife, I would underdress occasionally at work.
A nice pair of panties really brightens my mood :-) Good luck.Actually I told my wife two years after we were married. She never liked the CDing but stayed with me until the children grew and flew then left. Once I was out there was no turning back, however. This is why I say enjoy it while you can Hon.:)

[celeste26]

On the other hand telling before you get married is always the wise thing to do. It has allowed me to avoid all those emotion flooded scenes like divorce etc. The kids have known since middle school, so I have no secrecy issues at all in my home.

[Beverley Sims]

Enjoy your kids and your family when you can my friend. That is one thing I never regretted even though it put a "crimp" on my dressing activities. Those family times can never be repeated.:)

Kate has it right again....
Look after the family and the marriage and X dressing will take care of itself eventually.

[Ann Louise]

Hey Ariamythe, you're underdressing, right? If you can, I'd suggest some nice panties and hose, and a silky camisole under your work shirt. It's not much but it makes my days in drab much more endurable. And the "secret" is fun, too. Elfin

[DeeArel]

I savor the the memories of times I can dress when not being able to do so. It gives me a tranquil feeling and bridges the time until the next opportunity.

[StacyPump]

Wow! The first part of your post could have been written by me!

I agree with the concept of enjoying your kids/family while you can. That's the one thing that bugs me about the pink fog...if it occupies your thoughts while you are spending time with loved ones, esp. your children. My wife knows that I love to dress, but is not comfortable with it yet. I can't help but feeling (hoping?) that if I could be more open and sharing with her, and not have to 'pack it away', that perhaps I would be slightly less obsessed, and maybe daydream a little less intensely and be more present and in the moment when spending precious time with my family...

[Stephanie Miller]

When times get to where you can't dress like a woman - you put your big boy shorts on and act like a man.
About a year ago my daughter, granddaughter (who is 2), and son in law had employment problems. My wife and I decided that our house was too small for them to move in with us and the the best choice was to get rid of our house and move in with them (much bigger house). Pay their house payments until things got better. Their house would gain equity, whereas ours wouldn't, when economy turned.
As I said, that was a year ago. For the most part Stephanie has not seen the light of day outside. (Now I'm probably going to go through all that "first step in public" stuff again! :doh: )
I keep thinking about our service men oversees. Long deployments, and they do it.
Crooks that have been/are incarcerated.... they do it. Etc.
Why can't I if there is a good reason?
And family..... that to me is a darn good reason!
I'll get my time again.
As it turns out, their employment is better and they just put the house on the market, so they can move closer to work. It has gone from break-even a year ago, to $80,000 profit if they get asking price.
So to hear some of the gals complain on here about not being able to dress for a whole week or so because so and so is in town....:hmph: I have no sympathy. There's more to life than me, me, me. At least to me, a family man, there is.

[Maria S]

The last couple of weeks were trannie hell for me. My wife is ultra cool about me dressing but I don't rub it in her face. After all she married me not Maria and has 2 weeks off work to be with me not her. 21st December (my birthday) I had a day out knowing it was going to be on hold for a while. I did have one evening between Christmas and New Year. Now my wife is back at work and I'm out looking for work. Not easy to mix to dressing but I had an idea. Previously I'd gone out shirt and trousers taking my CV round. Today I was out again but 60% Maria without people knowing. Bra and top, knickers and unisex looking ladies trousers with tights underneath, no socks, mens shoes and coat zipped up. No makeup, jewelry or wig. When I had my lunch in Asda supermarket I even tried on some shoes whilst I had the tights on.

Maria

[Julie Denier]

I'll put in my 2 cents about making time for family -- I made the mistake early on in my dressing of trying too hard to scrape together femme time. It's tough, but family has to come first. After some personal upheavals, I didn't dress for 15 months. I'm dressing again on a sporadic basis, but it's tough -- whenever you dress, you just want to do it more and more. I just keep my eyes on the prize: my family.

[Ann Louise]

...you put your big boy shorts on and act like a man...

Wow! - Ariamythe, you're new here, just like me, and I wouldn't let that "act like a man" attitude deter you from seeking some loving, kind, CD-oriented counsel here regarding your new-found joy in dressing. You've had the courage to join this very public forum, and expose your innermost self to others. I would suggest that you continue to do so. All the folks that I've interacted one-on-one with here have been indeed, just that, loving and kind. And I didn't detect anything in your post that indicated you were going to avoid your family responsibilities, but rather a good-natured lament that dressing is really cool and you'd miss it, tongue-in-cheek.

It's that "act like a man" stuff that kept me in the closet for so long, and I think you deserve more kindness and good cheer than you received from that post.

OK "men," I've put on my asbestos suit, banged my sword on my shield, and am ready. Let your flames begin!

A Man The Equal Measure Of Any Other,

Elfin

[JBPerry]

It sucks...i won't lie...but as others have said, if u can underdress....do it! I have to when I go to work....theres no getting around it since I am a Marine and our uniform is the clothing of the day. However, besides our green shirts underneath our cammies...there is no standard for what we wear underneath. In fact, right now, I have a bra and panties on.....I need to get some knee highs.....if you look at me right now, in person, you wouldnt be able to tell!

[Stephanie Miller]

Yea, O.K., so maybe I approached it a little harsh Elfin. I meant no harm to Ariamythe in my reply. She asked how one copes - and I answered.

I did not feel that Ariamythe was putting family second. On the contraire I applaud the normal aspect she puts forth "40+ hour work week, 40 minute commute, kids and after-school activities and home repair projects and watching Downton Abbey with the wife".

But as far as my feeling per my last part - I stand by it. Not because I feel Ariamythe falls into this category, but because I know of too many gals that have read the sugar coated "oh poor you" responses to other threads in this vein - and run with it for themselves to the extent that family suffers. I think this is a trap some gals fall into and should be cautioned.

Sorry if it came across wrong Ariamythe. :rose2:


OK "men," I've put on my asbestos suit, banged my sword on my shield, and am ready. Let your flames begin!
Really? We're just chattin' Elfin. Pull up a chair and I'll buy ya a drink. Besides I never go to a sword fight with a sword. I'm more of a Glock man. :devil:
(can't help but chuckle at this scene....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzcOCyHDqc

[Ariamythe]

So to hear some of the gals complain on here about not being able to dress for a whole week or so because so and so is in town....:hmph: I have no sympathy. There's more to life than me, me, me. At least to me, a family man, there is.
Entirely fair. I think I'm just in "Oh, shiny!" mode today. I had something new and I got to play with it all weekend and now I can't and I'm pouting. :)

[Ariamythe]

It's that "act like a man" stuff that kept me in the closet for so long, and I think you deserve more kindness and good cheer than you received from that post.
Aw, Elfin, thanks. I was having a fragile moment, is all.

To the thread in general: You're all right about the family, of course. In a roundabout way, I actually started exploring this side of me so I could keep my family. I won't squander my time.

[Ann Louise]

...Besides I never go to a sword fight with a sword. I'm more of a Glock man. :devil:
(can't help but chuckle at this scene....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzcOCyHDqc

I'm smilin' too Stephanie. We're all good people here. Elfin

[Jessica Who]

When I did that it was very difficult and negatively affected other aspects of my life. I think it's kind of like eating junk food. It might be easier, but it will eventually catch up with you.