OK! I have a Question After Looking at the Girl Mode vs Guy Mode that Pertains to TS

[Traci Elizabeth]

OK! Being blessed with a full hear of hair which is now mid-way down my back, I have a question to our hair deprived TS sisters in particular who are in relationships with men.

How do you manage male-to-female relationships with you being the woman if you have to wear wigs? What happens when the wig comes off? And if it is a first date situation situation where things get steamy, do you fear male reprisal when he notices that you have no or little hair? Are you always fearful for your safety if the man does not know you are a TS?

[LaraPeterson]

Hi Traci, I'm not sure I'm the right person to answer this because I'm not as far along on the TS spectrum as I'd like to be. Anyway, I'm going to give it a stab. I've been dressing and going out for a long time. I've had various levels of relationship with a few men. I've been sans hair for most of my adult life. So, I wear wigs all the time. I have some really nice wigs of the type prepared for cancer patients that are totally attachable, washable, and stylable (sp.) all while on my head. I don't have any problem with wearing what is essentially a female hairpiece anymore than a man does who wears one. The only difference is that on a woman they look much more natural right out of the box.

Hair, or lack of it, doesn't (or shouldn't) define who we are. Celebrities like Sinead O'Conner, Natatlie Portman [in V for Vendetta] and Demi Moore [GI Jane] come to mind immediately of women who "pull off" the bald look in style. Mind you, I'd love to have a full head of hair, but I don't. No problem. My locks or the lack thereof do not define who I am. What I do with my life does that.

But thanks for this post. It made me think about it and I hope it becomes helpful to others who are also hair-challenged.

[Rogina B]

And if it is a first date situation situation where things get steamy, do you fear male reprisal when he notices that you have no or little hair? Are you always fearful for your safety if the man does not know you are a TS?
Unless they have poor eyesight,people that ask you out tend to "know the deal" and that is why they asked you in the first place. Perhaps they could have met you in a dark place..I would fear more for the safety of a TS hooker,than a TS girl on here acting stealth and choosing her dates wisely.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I am a woman who has no hair, & i have had women come up to me & give me a hug because some of our women have cancer, & i was asked if i had, in my case no. so i do have many friends who know me very well. all i do is wear my head wear like as seen in my avitra,

I did wear a wig for 11 years, till i had had enough of getting headache's so scarves or sunhats,

As to any friendship or relastionship it would not make any difference to me because, people will know about myself if they dont they will with in moments of meeting. iv nothing to hide & never have,

I know you have addresed this to T s , im intersex & really it makes little difference .just because im different you are ether accepted for who you are or you know where the door is & yes iv used the door,

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

Any man I get together with will always know who and what I am up front. Like Noeleena, I have nothing to hide from anyone.:)

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have to disagree with the "He knows you are TS that's why he is interested in you." I say hogwash. I don't think there are many post-op gals who are not living their lives as a woman vs a Trans-woman. Trans is temporary journey not a permanent label branded onto your skin.

I know some very attractive post-op gals on here alone who are beautiful and no-one would ever take them as Trans anything.

[Michelle.M]

To answer your original question, I use a hair system that stays on unless (or until) I want to remove it. I can shower, swim, ride in a convertible with the top down, whatever. Not an issue.


I have to disagree with the "He knows you are TS that's why he is interested in you." I say hogwash.

Oh, come on! You're married, right? If so, then that would make that statement not hogwash but merely foreign to your personal experience, as it's something you probably never had to deal with when dating a man. Just because it's not true for you doesn't mean it's not true.

It's true for me. My boyfriend has had previous experience with transwomen and finds relationships with transwomen to be quite interesting and satisfying. It's his preference, and not really any different than men who prefer to date Latinas or redheads.

And we've already discussed what will happen to us after my GRS and so far it looks like he'll be sticking around.

[Traci Elizabeth]

To answer your original question, I use a hair system that stays on unless (or until) I want to remove it. I can shower, swim, ride in a convertible with the top down, whatever. Not an issue.



Oh, come on! You're married, right? If so, then that would make that statement not hogwash but merely foreign to your personal experience, as it's something you probably never had to deal with when dating a man. Just because it's not true for you doesn't mean it's not true.

It's true for me. My boyfriend has had previous experience with transwomen and finds relationships with transwomen to be quite interesting and satisfying. It's his preference, and not really any different than men who prefer to date Latinas or redheads.

And we've already discussed what will happen to us after my GRS and so far it looks like he'll be sticking around.

I understand what you are saying but you still portray yourself as "Trans" and the guy in your life knows you are Trans.

[Michelle.M]

I understand what you are saying but you still portray yourself as "Trans" and the guy in your life knows you are Trans.

Well, yes, but now I'm confused. I was addressing this statement:


I have to disagree with the "He knows you are TS that's why he is interested in you." I say hogwash.

And I'm saying that it's not hogwash, there are men who are interested in someone because they're trans, and it's so with me.

What part of this thread am I missing?

[Kathryn Martin]

How do you manage male-to-female relationships [with you being the woman] if you have to wear wigs?

Would the answer not simply be with fear that he doesn't find you attractive like any other woman who has lost hair for whatever reason.

I also have a full head of hair.

[Raquel June]

This whole question seems kinda silly. Plenty of GGs have fake hair. Try touching a black girl's weave and see which one of you should be "fearful for your safety."



I know some very attractive post-op gals on here alone who are beautiful and no-one would ever take them as Trans anything.

What does being post-op have to do with whether or not someone's attractive? Why do you divert every topic back to your genitalia?

User Title: I'm Post-Op
Location: Post-Op
Signature: Ms. Post-Op

Obviously you're proud of your trip to Thailand, and that's great, but you don't have to make every post totally condescending to pre-op folks -- and overtly offensive to non-ops.

[elizabethamy]

I don't have anything to contribute here except that: a) it's hair. Sometimes hair is symbolic and means everything, and other times, it's just hair. Too much in some spots and not enough in others. arggh. and b) I LOVE Traci's celebration of her post-op status. She went to hell and back to get there and I don't find it condescending in the least (I'm "I don't know if ever-op" status). It's a bit of fun to me, and I'm happy for Traci that she is now 100% Traci in body, mind and soul. Hair will follow.

elizabethamy
(fellow member with Traci of the club of voluntary elizabeths)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

why ask this question??

it has nothing to do with you and just causes hurt feelings..

isn't it obvious that not having hair is on the list of difficult challenges for transwomen?

i've never ever seen a thread from a person in the situation you describe that asked for guidance or experience ...

[Marleena]

I avoided this thread but here's my take on it. It reeks of a holier than though attitude. I'm happy for all of the postop ladies that have great hair BTW it's one less obstacle to overcome. The problem is many of the TS women are past puberty and testosterone has taken it's toll in many ways. What's next, how do pre-ops deal with a man face and a penis?

[TeresaL]

Testosterone wrecked my follicles in the early 1980s, and the only choice I have is being a bald Teresa, or wearing a rug. :eek:

Besides, my spouse wouldn't take too well to me having a man, and I still have a penis, aka, my small limp noodle. I may just keep it to spite you for bringing it up. LOL

But I can change colors

[Raquel June]

I LOVE Traci's celebration of her post-op status.

If that's all it was it wouldn't be so obnoxious.

She used to just brag about how ultra-conservative she is, now she brags about being post-op constantly, and has essentially started this thread to say, "Look at me! I have a full head of hair! How does anybody cope with being less beautiful than I am? Aren't you always fearful for your safety???"

I mean, it can't be a serious question:

What happens when the wig comes off? And if it is a first date situation situation where things get steamy, do you fear male reprisal when he notices that you have no or little hair?

The question is directed at trans women -- who date men, have sex on the first date, wear wigs, and take those wigs off on the first date. That doesn't even make sense. Is this a suggestion that people take their wig off for sex, or that on the first date they spend the night at the guy's house and take the wig off? Who does that? I slept in a wig plenty times before I grew my hair out. Or is this suggesting that you sleep with a guy then stay and take a shower and have to take the wig off? It's all ridiculous, and it seems to apply only to skanks.

But, if this is a real question, there are a lot of beautiful trans girls with no hair who cope just fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTcvR2OJbZQ

[LeaP]

Wow, tough crowd on this thread.

FWIW, being hair-challenged, I found the question interesting. The specific scenario less than "wig management" (for lack of better) in general. All the contrary responses about GG and trans people having happy wonderful lives without hair notwithstanding doesn't change the fact that it's a larger issue for some of us. Everyone prioritizes their issues differently.

Yeah, the question might've been worded a little more diplomatically to avoid some of the skanky implications that some drew, but people who don't have an issue often ask innocent questions awkwardly. I do, and have on this site in a few instances ... and also got hammered for it. So cut Traci some slack.

FWIW(2), the issue of being seen sans wig is on my side of things, related to how I see myself and how I would feel about being perceived differently, not so much things like fear. Jesus, given all the threads about meltdowns after being read because an eyelash was out of place, you would think something huge like this would get a more sympathetic response.

[Rogina B]

Wow, tough crowd on this thread. Jesus, given all the threads about meltdowns after being read because an eyelash was out of place, you would think something huge like this would get a more sympathetic response.
Lea,it seems to some of us that it wasn't a real question..Hence the hard responses. I myself know that Brazillian Transsexuals are a hot commodity because they are a "chick with a d..k" So it is ignorant to say that people don't want that..Michelle backed me up with her expereince with a guy that likes to be with non op girls..Again to be told it isn't so. Some of us have had sex many times with a wig on and managed to keep it on,but the other party certainly knew who he was going in the bed with..Oh,and we didn't fear for our safety if it did come off!