Referred to as girls

[andrea lace]

Me and my wife were looking through this forum when she commented "oh he looks quite convincing as a woman" and scrolling down she made the same remark again at another photo.When I look at the pictures I refer to all the images as, she looks good or she is wearing something nice rather than using the words he or him like my wife is doing.
What I am trying to say is that coming from the perspective of someone who likes to cross dress personally, is my perspective different to that of a person with no interest in CDing at all?
I am very new to this forum and have only recently told my wife about the cross dressing. Am I noticing things that most girls who use this forum take as normal? or am I starting to see things in a whole new light? any advice would be welcome.

[daarleane]

As you say this is all new to her. She is looking at pictures of men who are dressed en femme. So from her perspective she is "calling them as she see's them". On the plus side if she is looking without any real negative comments then I think everything is going along normally. It takes time.

[Marleena]

I think GG's can find our transformations interesting. They know CDer's are actually men but they need to be corrected when referring to TS women as "he". For us here we are our femme personnas for the most part and just one of the girls and refer to each other as such.

[Leanne2]

My wife is the same. She says he and I say she. Leanne

[Karren H]

I think your wife and anyone else who knows the true gender of the person in the photos feels obligated to refer to them by that gender..... I think its mainly wishful thinking that we refer to ourselves as girls... like if we say it enough it will become true? lol.

[Marleena]

I think your wife and anyone else who knows the true gender of the person in the photos feels obligated to refer to them by that gender..... I think its mainly wishful thinking that we refer to ourselves as girls... like if we say it enough it will become true? lol.

IDK Karren you sure look like a girl to me! :) Let's get the ruby slippers out....well maybe not!:D

[Beverley Sims]

When I was an up and coming X dresser I would refer to others as he.
"You should see Jennifer, he looks good in his new dress."
That conversation was directed to those in the know and differentiated between GG's and those that were X Dressers.
We all knew who we were talking about.
In mixed company "she" was always used.
Some effeminate and camp guys were addressed as "she" also.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, I try to avoid pronouns except for the sake of convenience. When I think or talk about someone, especially a TG person, I usually use their name. Doesn't matter though as even if we are genetically men, we are half woman. I sometimes use pics of GG's for my avatars. Now, that is wishful thinking but what the hey? :)

[Karren H]

IDK Karren you sure look like a girl to me! :) Let's get the ruby slippers out....well maybe not!:D

My wife hid my ruby slippers..... along with her wedding dress and all her makeup! lol

[Marleena]

My wife hid my ruby slippers..... along with her wedding dress and all her makeup! lol

I hate it when they do that!:D

[YorkshireRose]

Hi Andrea, I think within the confines of this forum, CDers, certainly where I am concerned I view others as femme. Irs our little corner of the web where we can be our female personas. That's the way I see it anyway.

Charlotte

[stephNE]

Marleena and Karen, You are so funny. I hate it when my wife takes, wears, hides my panties and pantyhose!

[Engendered]

I read everything that's written here (except for the odd FTM post) in a female voice in my head. I don't think you can spend any length of time here, and not have that become an automatic thing. I guess what I'm saying is that I never made a conscious choice to start doing that.

[FeminineEmoBoy]

Hmmm now i have a 3rd view i see people here and in person as just people never male, female,boy or girl ect i always have done it came with my upbringing. Its only recently that i have started noticing gender so much (obviously i knew the difference between girl an boys but took no real notice) and fully took in that I'm a crossdresser and i wear 'women s' clothes as before i just saw them as clothes and when i was little barbie and dollies ect were just toys not girls toys and maybe its also due to me being bi maybe.
I am now reconising male and female more so i don't offend people by mistake i must be thick tho as i find it a little confusing for some reason... But at least i now know why i was the only boy wearing nail polish in my playgroup and primary school pics XD x

[MsRenee]

I think as more GG's begin to see that we are not the "bad ppl " that they have heard about the will begin to be mire accepting of us. Its always nice to be out with my girl and we are asked how are you girls doing today. Its such a nice comforting remark that catches me of guard alot as I never was much for recieving compliments, before this stage of my life took over. Now its how are you, or let me get the door for you. Weve come a long way to further helping the next gen of girls.
Renee

[CassandraSmith]

Hmmm now i have a 3rd view i see people here and in person as just people never male, female,boy or girl etc...

Yes. After a lifetime of strongly identifying gender, I'm starting to have it flip for me. I was watching a video of a group of women and a woman speaker. Each time they panned to the different faces in the crowd, I found myself seeing both the masculine and feminine traits in their faces and thinking of them as gender neutral. It was a strange shift for me and I'm still coming to terms with it. I was surprised at how masculine some women appear to me at times.

[FeminineEmoBoy]

@CassandraSmith Phew I was thinking I was the only one who thought that way good to know I'm not :P x

[AllieSF]

I like to think of it as professional courtesy. We refer to others as we prefer to be referred. And no Karren, saying it and even wishing it won't make me a woman nor get me those $4.00 for a cup of coffee either.

[Frédérique]

What I am trying to say is that coming from the perspective of someone who likes to cross dress personally, is my perspective different to that of a person with no interest in CDing at all?

Calling each other “girls” is a kind of balm, or emollient, if you ask me. I mean, OUT THERE things are rather harsh and oppressive, while here, at the CD oasis, you can relax and think of yourself as a girl/female/lady/woman person. It’s only natural to go that little extra step and drop the he/him stuff completely – many of us are actively ignoring masculinity when we dress up, you know. On the other hand, an outsider would say something like, “HE looks rather convincing,” and have no idea why that would be taken the wrong way. You need a bit of imagination to see yourself as something other than your birth gender, and references like “girl” certainly help. See it as support from others like yourself. This crossdressing stuff ain’t easy, girlfriend...
:doh:

[Ninotchka]

I'll call you by the feminine term if I know you want me to, but I have an aversion to being called HER.
Partly because I worked for many years in an institution housing a number of effeminate homosexuals who called each other SHE, and GIRL. I am a heterosexual, and not homophobic, yet I can't embrace the term. It doesn't fit ME, but I won't get my knickers in a twist if I am referred to in a feminine term.

[kimdl93]

I think many of us identify as female, at least when we are dressed, so we prefer being addressed with the feminine pronouns...I certainly do.

[paulinescotlandcd]

Just tell her many thanks from me as I always like a compliment :)

[Angela Campbell]

I think when some of us look like a girl we want to be treated like a girl. I do.

[Tracii G]

You can call me a girl if I'm dressed like one.
I get called girly in male mode so I'm used to it

[Leah Lynn]

Please refer to me in the feminine when I'm in that mode.

[susan54]

I am probably very "off message" on this one. I act as a woman, I do not imagine I am one, nor does dressing as one turn me on. I prefer to interact only with GG women, and almost all of them know I am a man, and I don't mind at all. I still enjoy their feedback on how good I look or what suits me, and get a slight (only slight) kick out of it on the rare occasions they use female pronouns, but I HATE being referred to as "girl". I prefer to avoid men completely when I am out and about (amazingly easy if you stick to clothes shops, beauticians, restaurants,hotels) and even as a fairly active member of this forum, I avoid addressing members directly or using any pronouns at all. The one time I met up with another cross dresser (we were both dressed) I did not like it at all - I just felt uncomfortable - us both being male was the elephant in the room - so I am not doing it again.

I enjoy reading of others' experiences but do not necessarily identify with them, and I avoid interacting directly, so I hope this also avoids offending anyone. No kisses or hugs sought or delivered by me on the Forum. In real life I prefer any interactions (and any direct ones on here) to be with GGs. I love occasional debates with ReineD, for example. However the Forum where I spend most time is 95% GGs, one where they make room for men who take equal pleasure in wearing (and shopping for) lovely skirts and dresses.

By not interacting directly with the CDs (ie OTHER CDs) here (and having nothing at all in common with TSs) I simply avoid a lot of these issues. I absolutely do not wish to upset anyone with this approach - everyone on here is OK with me, but we are all different, and each to their own. As I said, it is interesting to see how others have fared out and about and in 1-1 relationships or with GG friends - these are the aspects I can identify with.

May everyone here achieve what they want in life, but please accept the full range of variation. We are not all "girls" and not all of us seek hugs on the Forum. So what am I still doing on a forum largely populated my men at birth who identify as women, either in life or just when dressed up? Not entirely sure, actually. But good luck to all of you.

[AmyGaleRT]

I follow the same conventions I do in Second Life...I refer to people as the gender in which they present. When speaking to my fiancee about something others have said here, if they are presenting as female, I use feminine pronouns as a reference. I would hope to receive the same courtesy from others.

Part of my feelings about this forum is that it's a safe place where we can all let our hair down and be women together. I hope I don't offend others by referring to "the ladies here," or some such. After all, I would also like to be counted as "one of the ladies." :battingeyelashes:

- Amy