Has Anyone Else Experienced This?

[Diane Edwards]

First, I must explain that I have been married and divorced. Nothing unusual about that. My ex knew about my dressing and came to be quite supportive. Fortunately our divorce was amicable (for the most part). Now comes the unusual part.

While we don't get together very often, maybe 6 or 8 times a year, she prefers that when we do that I go en femme. As she has explained it, she finds she connects better with Diane and is more comfortable with her than with my male persona. She says she feels much closer emotionally and is more willing to share when she's with Diane rather than 'Dave' (not my real male name), and that was the case when we were still married (though she never expressed it back then). She's even said that if she had we'd probably still be married. (I have my doubts, but who knows?)

Has anyone else experienced this with an ex?

[AmyGaleRT]

My ex never knew about me. I keep wondering if I should tell her. (Our split was amicable as well, and was more a case of me wanting her to be happy even though it meant letting her go. She's in Finland, though, which makes phone calls tough.)

- Amy

[Rogina B]

While we don't get together very often, maybe 6 or 8 times a year, she prefers that when we do that I go en femme. As she has explained it, she finds she connects better with Diane and is more comfortable with her than with my male persona. She says she feels much closer emotionally and is more willing to share when she's with Diane rather than 'Dave' (not my real male name), and that was the case when we were still married (though she never expressed it back then). She's even said that if she had we'd probably still be married. (I have my doubts, but who knows?)

Has anyone else experienced this with an ex?
So,what was the "bad part" that caused the split?

[Kate Simmons]

The truth is that some husbands make better girl friends to their wives than they do boy friends. Go figure! :battingeyelashes::)

[daarleane]

My guess is that Diane was open, friendly and fun to be around, while Dave was the "man of the house". I would guess that he was hard to talk to, probably sullen and was tired of "acting like something other people wanted him to be". I am just guessing that Diane was happy, fun to be around and Dave wasn't, and we all know why.

[Debbi]

Hello Diane!

I totally relate! Was married for 9 years. Came out to my wife 3 years into our marriage. She was totally cool, accepting, supportive and encouraging. We shared many hangout nights together dressed and having girls night. We ended up divorcing due mainly to just making better friends than being a married couple. Divorce was final in October. We're both happier now, even though it was still sad for both of us. Anyway, during the year or two of concentrating on the divorce issues, I put my dressing on hold for awhile. Only casually dressing once in awhile to keep my sanity. No wig, makeup or trying to look pretty. she moved out about a year ago and we still get together about once a month to hangout. Listening to music, dancing, drinks, laughing and talking to the wee hours each time, platonically. after the divorce was final this last October, I decided I was going to get my girl groove back on and I've been relearning my makeup,.losing those lingering 10lbs, ect.

Last month when she came over to celebrate her birthday/Christmas, I decided to be completely dressed, made up and pretty for the first time in over 2 years. When she walked in, she was so pleasently surprised, complimentary and happy to see Debbi again. I never told her I was going to be dressed that night. So we had girls radio playing, enjoyed our fav drinks, candles, fireplace and fire pit going, dancing and then we exchanged gifts. her gift to me was a pair of super sexy, pretty, pink, sparkly, strappy wedge heels! She was worried that I might not still be into dressing but took a chance. We had a wonderful night as girlfriends and she wants to do it again. How fun!

So, yes, I can relate to how we get along so much better when i'm being my favorite self, Debbi! I treasure that, as I will always care about her. And even though we can never be married, we can enjoy being great friends and girlfriends at the same time.

[susie evans]

some times our wifes want us to be who and what we realy are and it dosen't matter the clothes we are wearing it is the person inside that the really love and cherish , be your self

just a thought

susie

[Karren H]

Why not go get a sex change and move to a state where gay marriage is legal and marry her again?

[Beverley Sims]

One of my girlfriends became a best friend when I was dressed years a go.

[Diane Edwards]

So,what was the "bad part" that caused the split?

Our careers took different paths and she wanted to relocate to the West Coast. My business and taking care of my elderly parents made it impossible for me to just pick up and go. So she took a job in Washington State and I stayed in New England. Needless to say the separation was hard, but in the end we decided we were better off apart than one us resenting the other if she stayed or I relocated with her. It was painful, but in the end we realized it was the best course. Since then we've become better friends. Add she absolutely loves being with Diane when she visits here or I visit there (it's usually for business, but not always).

[Diane Edwards]

Why not go get a sex change and move to a state where gay marriage is legal and marry her again?

For one thing she's in a relationship. Another is that she never had sexual feelings for me as Diane.

[Audreyanne]

For one thing she's in a relationship. Another is that she never had sexual feelings for me as Diane.

The fact that she never had any sexual feelings for Diane is probably why she is more comfortable being friends with you as Diane. There isn't the sexual tension that is probably still part of her relationship with you as Dave.

[Lynn Marie]

It's quite common for women to find us non-threatening when dressed. They're much less on guard and quite willing to talk and even enjoy hanging out with us. In boy mode we are just guys on the make and trying to be the alpha male.

[Stephanie47]

Diane, if your former wife is still in Washington State, when you visit you'll be pleased to find out Washington State has one of the best laws for gender expression. Gender expression has the same protection as gays and lesbians, people of color, religion, ethnicity, etc. To cause ill will to anyone expressing themselves qualifies as a 'hate crime.' Also, some municipalities further enhance the State Law. In fact, Tacoma has been named the gayest city in the country.

[Diane Edwards]

I've pondered the responses all of you sent and after thinking about it I realize you've all given me a much better insight about myself and how the others in my life respond to the part of me that is Diane.

It certainly puts things in to perspective.

Thank you, all!