Some times it's just too hard

[Michelle James]

As many know I have been living about 98% full time for the last two and a half years. Until lately. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else but my resolve is waning. Lately (more mornings than I care to admit) I have found myself looking in the mirror and just saying f$#% it! On those days I don't shave and throw on whatever androgynous clothing might be nearby. I will even skip the boobs and hair just to get out the door, and run my errands. What is happening to me? I find that doing my makeup and such is becoming on great big pain in the a$$. Is this little bit of back sliding a normal thing for some of us or am I losing it.

[I Am Paula]

Gender is fluid. It ebbs and flows. I'll bet tommorow you'll want to slip on your Manolo's and kick it up with the girls.-Celeste

[arbon]

There are those days I am lazy and don't want to bother with it all and go.

[Robin Lee]

welcome to what GG's go thru every day! We all have days that sweat pants, tee shirt and no bra our make-up. I think its just part of being human. If I was still working I know that I would be dressed nice every day, but now that I am not working I find myself running out dressed in drab.
Best Wishes,
Robin

[StephanieC]

Well, for me there are no boobs or hair to worry about. But I'm not always glitzy.

I think it depends on a number of variables that may change on any given day. It's just ordinary life.

-stephani

[Linda St. John]

Like Stephanie, I have boobs and hair , but sometimes I can't be bothered doing makeup etc. Just ponytail the hair and put on some big sunglasses, some neutral lipstick and I'm ready to go ... wearing jeans and tee. I know my avatar says "girly " but sometimes not so much !
As Robin says ...even GGs do that !
Don't worry about it ....Michelle....your'e not back-sliding .:eek::):)
Linda

[Kaitlyn Michele]

you have to work through what 98% means...

98% full time is not transition... full means 100%..

After you totally jump off the cliff, resolve has no bearing on your life...you are a woman, you are a woman you are a woman...end of story.
if you jump off the cliff, not getting all made up is not back sliding, its just a bad hair day..

regardless of why, the energy you spend going back and forth is not helpful to you long term and your challenge is figure out if this is a mood swing or something more meaningful about your future..i hope you can think about what this is saying to you and make progress no matter what you decide...

[Badtranny]

Is this little bit of back sliding a normal thing for some of us or am I losing it.

Hi Michelle, I find a lot of your posts interesting even if I can't really understand your lifestyle. This question that you're asking is unanswerable by me or any of the TS girls that I know personally in real life. I could probably dress in men's clothes (if I can find any in my house) but I would look pretty odd with my huge boobs and feminized face so in my case there is no just saying F it. As it is, I don't pass anytime and every time yet so I'm a bit of a spectacle sometimes, but I would be even more of a spectacle if I tried to drab it up.

I read your post about being laughed at and I feel sorry for you because I experience stuff just like that on occasion. In fact I posted about a dude in a truck laughing out loud at me while shopping with a friend in Burlingame last year. It sucks, but it just steels my resolve to improve my presentation to the point that dudes aren't laughing anymore, they're just gawking. My issues, I know but what I don't understand about you is why you don't make a commitment and work towards something more authentic?

The girls that I know are constantly moving forward, HRT, hair removal, surgeries, name changes, etc. Why do you want to stay in what I would consider a limbo?

[Michelle James]

The girls that I know are constantly moving forward, HRT, hair removal, surgeries, name changes, etc. Why do you want to stay in what I would consider a limbo?

Well, there it is. That's the real question here isn't it? I do not have an answer. You are right of course that I am stuck. It seems to me that the path forward may be backwards. As in go back to male. Back to work. Save enough money to do all or most of the above.

[melissaK]

Any post holiday winter time blues sneaking up on you? How'd Tom Robbins put it, "Even cowgirls get the blues."

[Nicole Erin]

Michelle it is like this -
when you are living full time or whatever, the fun of dressing goes away. A lot of CDs wish they could run around 24/7 dressed en femme but that becomes a lot of work to maintain that constant image of perfection.

A lot of times in the Cd section they talk about "how come GG's don't try to look beautiful all the time?" and the reason is - it is a lot of work.

I think you should be glad to have reached the most advanced stage of self-confidence where you are not constantly worried about having to look perfect or if (God forbid) someone stares or gawks. You are now to the point where you are living life and have moved on from the whole "do I pass? what will someone think?" bullcrap that too many CD and TS worry about.

Funny thing living full time - the harder one tries to "pass", the worse it goes. Often times I will frump around in my favorite outfit - my faded black and pink sweats that have holes, grease, and paint spots, no makeup, and still get detected as "she". Yet some days I try to look my best and get called "he". I don't give a crap either way.

The ones who KEEP spending thousands of dollars on surgeries and get upset when they are still getting read just haven't achieved this level of comfort in their own skin.

[TeresaL]

Nothing wrong with not dressing. Come on, the binary crowd does it all the time. :eek:
I did it today, went out undressed. It saves time, money, and labor. It can cumulate and pay back dividends later in the month. I'll be moving on though. Not that I'm unhappy, just that dysphoria seeks its own level, and I'm close but not there.

I've not followed your background, but if you're not there either... Well, whadarya waiting for? :thumbsup::love:

[Nicole Erin]

Nothing wrong with not dressing. Come on, the binary crowd does it all the time. :eek:
I did it today, went out undressed. It saves time, money, and labor.

Well if we go out we need to dress in SOMEthing. Cops tend to be stupid about wanting to arrest naked people. Well that and christ, it is COLD out.

Ok enough beating that joke to death

[noeleena]

Hi,

Ill try & answer, from a womans perspective, i dont know what its like as a dresser, so ill put it this way i have some hobbys i really enjoy doing theres prep time the doing time & then the looking time, or wearing time if you like, now do i do this hobby every day or every week .

no of cause not because then it would not then be my hobby that i so much enjoy. it would become a job i ...have ... to do.

As a woman i dont get ...dressed... up all the time , most days are just normal day wear, clothes i like to wear because they suit me fit nice & comfortable, as for makeup dont wear it only lippy & eyebrow liner, fact is i dont ...need... makeup.

When im working around our home Yes = our = home Jos & myself i may have a skirt on or shorts or overalls i really dont care, my friends see me as i am no pretence here,

Now there are times with our groups i do get dressed up. for our meetings yet still no makeup only as i said, i can look nice as is in keeping with who i am as a person. just not as many dressers do.

Now how do i look well i think most sure know that answer, my flaw is not as a normal good looking woman. too maleish , oh well tough. still no one cares, so the end result . im a woman who's accepted for who she is,& that's all that matters, not how one looks,

...noeleena...

[Persephone]

Isn't what Michelle is going through the real value of the RLT period? During that time isn't it appropriate to question one's motives and one's resolve?

Seems to me that a lot of women here are piling on her at a vulnerable moment, a perfectly reasonable moment when any doubts she has should be surfacing. Isn't it better that she question these things now than it would be to question these things in a hospital bed recovering from SRS?

Seems to me that we should be encouraging her to ask these questions now, not later. And to be providing her with guidance and the view that can only be shared by those who are further down the road.

I'm far too well aware that "sugar and spice and everything nice" is decidedly not what our gender is made of, but maybe kindness would not be misplaced at this time?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I can't hide that I am female (I don't want to anyway) but there are days I wake up and just do not want to fool putting make-up on. On those days I just go about my business sans make-up like any other woman would.

[ReineD]

I take it that when Michelle says 98% full time, it means that on very rare occasions, she feels that she must wear men's clothes (maybe to visit her parents who do not know, or something similar?) I'd guess that this would be difficult for Michelle.

Michelle, is there a reason why you haven't started HRT and beard removal? Is it financial? You mentioned the need to save money. Do you work or are you retired? Also are you married, and how does your wife react to you mostly no longer presenting as a male?

Edit - Forgot to ask, and sorry if you've mentioned this elsewhere. Do you feel you are TS, or is there any part of you that enjoys presenting as a male?

[Michelle James]

I take it that when Michelle says 98% full time, it means that on very rare occasions, she feels that she must wear men's clothes (maybe to visit her parents who do not know, or something similar?) I'd guess that this would be difficult for Michelle.

Michelle, is there a reason why you haven't started HRT and beard removal? Is it financial? You mentioned the need to save money. Do you work or are you retired? Also are you married, and how does your wife react to you mostly no longer presenting as a male?

98% full time to me means that in an average year I might have 7 or so random days when for one reason or another, such as my face is so cut up from shaving that I have to force myself to take a "shavecation" to let the cuts, and bumps heal. On those days I can't just cower in the corner since I have responsibilities and have to leave the house. On those days I just go drab. I didn't want to get into this on an open forum but I have some undiagnosed medical issues. Undiagnosed as in we are going through the process and DR.s have yet to settle on a cause. I have been told that as far as HRT I would be better served to wait until we know what we are dealing with. As far as beard removal goes it is all white now so laser is a no go or so I've been told by everyone I have seen. I am saving money to start electrolysis and am looking for someone now. I am married and my wife is fine with it. (I prolly shouldn't have said that because now someone will attack that point)

Reine, thank you for your comments and understanding and I want you to know none of the following comments are directed at you. Just a convenient place to put them.

For what it's worth, my path is my path and my timeline is what it is. I'm sorry if that doesn't fit someone else's idea of how it's supposed to go. There are many people on this forum that I admire for how far you have come and what you have accomplished. It seems so strange that some in a segment of society that needs more compassion and understanding shown to them have so little to share. It is also remarkable how some of you have change in that regard once you allegedly complete SRS. At least maybe I was able to provide a platform for some to gain some apparently much needed self validation.

That being said to those of you who expressed kind comments and/or useful information I am as always grateful and you all know who you are. I am throwing in the towell. If there is a Mod. watching please do what you will.

Michelle

[ReineD]

Michelle, if this place helps you to connect with people who understand, then please don't throw in the towel just yet. We all have bad days and depressive periods, but things always get better. You said in another thread that most people treat you with respect when you're out, so please just focus on that and don't allow that episode with the two young girls to make you feel worse.

Hopefully you'll resolve your other medical issues soon, and you can begin with HRT. Even though this won't do anything for your beard, I've read from other members that it helps a great deal to diminish the anxiety of Gender Dysphoria.

:hugs:

[arbon]

I think you are doing the best you can with what you have right now, hopefully things resolve and you are able to eventually move forward with hrt. Really you are living fulltime with out hrt and some of the other things that cost a lot of money, that's being pretty committed I think. Not an easy path at all! Your not back sliding in thinking you are a man are you and really not TS are you? The impression I got from the op is maybe more about being frustrated your a long ways from where you wish to be (I could be wrong). it can be easy to get in those moods where you say to heck with it. I have had days like that to when I look in the mirror and think why bother? or knowing how far away I am from any surgeries, or having the physical looks that prevent me from being seen as any other woman - sometimes when I feel discouraged like that I pass on the make up or not dressing as feminine as I should - but I still feel strongly about who I am on the inside and don't feel like I am slipping back into being a guy at all. Just a bad day and feeling discouraged and it reflects in how I have let myself look. But there is no choice though pick it up the next day and try to do better.

[Angela Campbell]

It is difficult, Michelle, to do what you are doing. I know. I am not even as far along as you are, but sometimes it seems like we are sometimes attacked because we are not transitioning according to someone else's timetable or standard. You can only do it your way.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Michelle it is a good thing to get lots of feedback. i really resent that advice is viewed as an "attack" ..we are adults here dealing with difficult life changing issues.
i get that some of it might not be fun... its good that you are responding...you've clarified your original post...

btw, nobody on this thread brought up srs..!!!!!! multiple responders on this thread have not had srs!!! its really really ok

part of knowing that transition is right for you is that on those days when you don't feel good about yourself, you have to go out and be the woman that you are ANYWAY. you have to think about what those days mean to you... I never ever ever let my "bad face days keep me from being me(i still shave too!!! even after much electroylysis...and i have days where i cut myself shaving!!! you gotta just keep going)... the question of resolve doesn't enter into it..there is no choice in the matter..i have to be myself..... and like i said its not back sliding to wear crappy clothes because you feel like crap...

but if you are going back and forth and you find yourself going back to male mode more and more, that surely means you need to think through what you are doing, and like i said, that could mean changing that 98% up or down which is totally up to you
maybe you need to start thinking in terms of not having a choice

98% doesn't work very well with transsexuals because the number is too low..
98% doesn't work for well for people not transsexual because its too high....

that's really all people are saying....for transsexuals gender is decidely NOT fluid...and its really hard to live that way

[Kathryn Martin]

It seems so strange that some in a segment of society that needs more compassion and understanding shown to them have so little to share. It is also remarkable how some of you have change in that regard once you allegedly complete SRS.

I am fully aware that some of the things I have said recently are not so nice and sometimes harsh and even personal. But that does not mean a lack of compassion and understanding.

I look among the members here and I see is a lot of fantasy, wishful thinking, seeking comfort in trying to find a personal expression that breaks out of the social norms imposed and also many, oh so many ill-conceived decisions to transition without really being aware of the implications that it brings to lives. And I see almost no transsexuals.

You should never transition unless it is a do or die point in your life.

Consider for one moment the lovely adage that how you feel is most important. One of the strangest things to me is how the narrative for newbies here evolves over time. It has become predictable to the point where I can predict the exact moment when she reveals parts of the narrative all in support of arriving at the point where she will speculate and eventually confess that she has this medical condition of transsexuality. If you begin to dig deeper into this phenomenon of borrowed narratives you find that transsexuality has become the medical justification defense for an otherwise socially unpalatable phenomenon. The worst part is that the borrowed narrative she tells is not accurate enough to the actual biographical experiences of actual transsexuals and so becomes an unintended instrument of outing her as not being transsexual.

And so much energy is expended to create this justification to enable a freer gender expression instead of effort to change social norms that would remove the need to transition.

The basis for my writing about these things in the way I do are my observations here and elsewhere. In the two years that I have frequented this site I have seen more trainwrecks than I care to be aware of. Lost jobs, marriages, poverty, abandonment, loneliness, loss of love. And all this while the gaudy circus of "you go gurl" spins and spins and spins sucking people from "I have these strange feelings" to "I think I am transgendered" to "I am transsexual" and “must transition” and have known this since the moment I was born.

It is tragic. And so I feel that something I can contribute is a warning, asking uncomfortable questions, and yes sometimes being harsh and unkind because it frustrates me when something that is clearly "in the clouds" is taken seriously and the next adept of gender variance is inducted onto the path of " I want to live as a woman". Many end up being freaks in the end. Not because I say this or because I want to hurt them. Do you realize the effort it takes to abandon, disrobe and let fall away your socialization as a man. I have seen women with beards that need to shave every day, very ugly women, women with unfortunate proportions and all kinds of flaws yet no one would ever mistake them for a man. They were socialized as women from birth and their words, gestures, approaches to life, survival and issues tell every moment that they are simply women.
The discussion here is usually limited to a level of discourse of how to hold a cup of tea. And so after transition you become a freak by screaming male with every decision, word or gesture and become socially ostracised.
I wish people would think twice or even ten times before transitioning unless they must. And this question of “must” is do or die.

[morgan51]

I too have days where I could give a @$%^& what I am wearing but life must go on it seems rather normal today, I'm still a woman and clothes or makeup don't make the woman its just window dressing. I go about very comfortable knowing that I'm still me and worthy!

[Nicole Brown]

You know Michelle, I am no one to give advice to anyone and usually try not to. Oh, I may offer suggestions or even a little advice based on my own personal experiences, but I never tell anyone what they should or should not do. Personally, I have very little patience or respect for anyone who imposes their views or will on anyone else.

Over the past year, I attended a party and was introduced to a lady who was further along in her transition than I am in mine. She initially seemed to be a pleasant enough person, but once the topic of transition came up, she became a 'know it all' who felt she had to tell me how to do everything and why most of what I had already done was wrong. Now, I am not saying that I know it all, but I do know what is right for me and what works best for me.

I am sure that you are the same way and know what works best for you. Don't listen to anyone who tells you what you need to do, why you need to do it or when you need to do it unless they are your doctor, your therapist or a loved one.

Everyone goes through days of doubt, and sometimes these days last for weeks or even months. Just focus on your resolve and one by one work through each issue. As my therapist once said to me, place your left foot in front of your right foot, then place your right foot in front of your left foot, then repeat. In no time at all he said that I would have worked my way through the issue and been on its other side.

I look forward to meeting you on the other side.....

[Kaitlyn Michele]

its not about nice/supportive vs mean or imposing anything on anybody
some people are simply deeply honest about their experience and others chime in and say it'll be ok and "hang in there"

there is a time and place for simple hugs and words of encouragment...we all share humanity and have ups and downs and we can all hug everybody when the time is right..of course, if somebody just wants a just a hug, i'm happy to do it...

being dismissive or closed to hearing information that is practical and knowledgeable is a choice, using people you met at parties to smear people that come here to share experience is not helpful....what does meeting some jerk at a party have to do with this..
i met a crossdresser once that was drunk...i guess crossdressers are drunks...

the crazy part of it is that nobody on this thread is telling michelle what to do other than work hard to figure out the right path for her...i repeat other than telling her to think more about her situation, nobody is telling her what to do..

pls feel free to call me a know it all ..i can take it.. i know that the things i share here come from practical experience and i am deeply moved by michelle's problem..and I hope that michelle can make huge positive strides in her quality of life.. and in my opinion, right now, she needs more than a hug..if she is ts she needs to own her womanhood so that on these bad days she can better control her feelings and not feel like she back sliding...if she can't do that, she needs to consider what exactly it is that she's doing...if that's viewed as imposing a view or is a bad thing to share, i don't know why people to bother coming to forums at all..

[docrobbysherry]

Michelle, thank u for posting! It was a wake up call for me! Because dressing is so much fun for me, I tend to forget the MANY difficulties involved for other dressers. Especially all the TS's among us.

I dress about twice a month. In between, I'm planning and organizing for my next session. Then, I spend hours getting into my outfit(s). It never occurs to me how I would dress or function if I had to do more than simply shower and throw on my drabs. What I normally do in 20 minutes daily. Instead of being an erotic, exciting experience, I'm sure dressing every day would soon become a chore!

But, Michelle, try and remember we ALL have our crosses to bear! And, daily chores that r burdensome. Some days we r ALL entitled to take a break and just say, "F it", today!

And, u r, too!

[aalynn88]

I am fully aware that some of the things I have said recently are not so nice and sometimes harsh and even personal. But that does not mean a lack of compassion and understanding.

I look among the members here and I see is a lot of fantasy, wishful thinking, seeking comfort in trying to find a personal expression that breaks out of the social norms imposed and also many, oh so many ill-conceived decisions to transition without really being aware of the implications that it brings to lives. And I see almost no transsexuals.

You should never transition unless it is a do or die point in your life.

Consider for one moment the lovely adage that how you feel is most important. One of the strangest things to me is how the narrative for newbies here evolves over time. It has become predictable to the point where I can predict the exact moment when she reveals parts of the narrative all in support of arriving at the point where she will speculate and eventually confess that she has this medical condition of transsexuality. If you begin to dig deeper into this phenomenon of borrowed narratives you find that transsexuality has become the medical justification defense for an otherwise socially unpalatable phenomenon. The worst part is that the borrowed narrative she tells is not accurate enough to the actual biographical experiences of actual transsexuals and so becomes an unintended instrument of outing her as not being transsexual.

And so much energy is expended to create this justification to enable a freer gender expression instead of effort to change social norms that would remove the need to transition.

The basis for my writing about these things in the way I do are my observations here and elsewhere. In the two years that I have frequented this site I have seen more trainwrecks than I care to be aware of. Lost jobs, marriages, poverty, abandonment, loneliness, loss of love. And all this while the gaudy circus of "you go gurl" spins and spins and spins sucking people from "I have these strange feelings" to "I think I am transgendered" to "I am transsexual" and “must transition” and have known this since the moment I was born.

It is tragic. And so I feel that something I can contribute is a warning, asking uncomfortable questions, and yes sometimes being harsh and unkind because it frustrates me when something that is clearly "in the clouds" is taken seriously and the next adept of gender variance is inducted onto the path of " I want to live as a woman". Many end up being freaks in the end. Not because I say this or because I want to hurt them. Do you realize the effort it takes to abandon, disrobe and let fall away your socialization as a man. I have seen women with beards that need to shave every day, very ugly women, women with unfortunate proportions and all kinds of flaws yet no one would ever mistake them for a man. They were socialized as women from birth and their words, gestures, approaches to life, survival and issues tell every moment that they are simply women.
The discussion here is usually limited to a level of discourse of how to hold a cup of tea. And so after transition you become a freak by screaming male with every decision, word or gesture and become socially ostracised.
I wish people would think twice or even ten times before transitioning unless they must. And this question of “must” is do or die.

With me, stearn warnings are welcome and the past experiences of others will definitely help in not making a regretable decision. However, harsh and personal attacks because someone is frustrated with the many that have gone ahead and made the wrong move doesn't help at all. It just doesn't come across as compassion and understanding. Try telling an alcoholic like myself you can't do something and see what happens! Best to just present the facts. (in my humble opinion)

[Badtranny]

OMG

I'm stunned at the direction this thread has taken. It started out with what I thought was a serious post from someone who was apparently questioning their own situation. I gave the poster a respectful and honest reply (against my better judgement) because I mistakenly assumed that since she was posting in the TS section (which is populated mostly (let's say 98%) by people who are undergoing the serious work of transitioning), that she was looking for perspective rather than a pep talk. I was wrong and subsequently moderated for my efforts.

It's frustrating because I generally (roughly 98% of the time) put a lot of thought into making sure my advice or counsel is helpful or at least an honest assessment from my own experience as a newly transitioned woman. Also, my responses are intended as much for the other readers who may be going through a similar situation or have similar questions as it is for the OP. Perhaps even more so on some occasions.

I never try to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, (98% of the time) but I also have very little interest in treating grown people like they are children. I think people in general should learn to be less sensitive, but people seeking fellowship from TS women (who have figuratively and in some cases literally given the world the finger) should especially be less sensitive because we tend to be a rather direct bunch. I don't know, there's something about listening to hallway snickers before and after meetings or seeing the occasional smirk from other contractors at job walks that sort of steels your resolve and simmers your communication style in a certain flavor.

People who are "full time except at work" don't understand our reality, and we don't understand theirs. That's perfectly fine, but at some point we all need to agree that transitioning means just that, and that's what transsexuals do. However you are doing it, and however long it takes isn't the concern here. Nobody that I know has done it the same way, in fact the only thing any of us have in common is that we've done it. When you come here looking for answers or camaraderie it would be helpful to understand who we are, and don't be upset when we try to understand who you are.

[Kathryn Martin]

Without being aware you have brought some unintended humor into all of this, Lynn. So you say that if I tell you you can't do this you'll show me that you can. It's like saying there is the cliff and you jump.

Hmmm, where have I heard that before?:facepalm:


With me, stearn warnings are welcome and the past experiences of others will definitely help in not making a regretable decision. However, harsh and personal attacks because someone is frustrated with the many that have gone ahead and made the wrong move doesn't help at all. It just doesn't come across as compassion and understanding. Try telling an alcoholic like myself you can't do something and see what happens! Best to just present the facts. (in my humble opinion)

[aalynn88]

Without being aware you have brought some unintended humor into all of this, Lynn. So you say that if I tell you you can't do this you'll show me that you can. It's like saying there is the cliff and you jump.

Hmmm, where have I heard that before?:facepalm:

LOL love u!!

[kellycan27]

OMG

I'm stunned at the direction this thread has taken. It started out with what I thought was a serious post from someone who was apparently questioning their own situation. I gave the poster a respectful and honest reply (against my better judgement) because I mistakenly assumed that since she was posting in the TS section (which is populated mostly (let's say 98%) by people who are undergoing the serious work of transitioning), that she was looking for perspective rather than a pep talk. I was wrong and subsequently moderated for my efforts.

It's frustrating because I generally (roughly 98% of the time) put a lot of thought into making sure my advice or counsel is helpful or at least an honest assessment from my own experience as a newly transitioned woman. Also, my responses are intended as much for the other readers who may be going through a similar situation or have similar questions as it is for the OP. Perhaps even more so on some occasions.



I never try to intentionally hurt someone's feelings, (98% of the time) but I also have very little interest in treating grown people like they are children. I think people in general should learn to be less sensitive, but people seeking fellowship from TS women (who have figuratively and in some cases literally given the world the finger) should especially be less sensitive because we tend to be a rather direct bunch. I don't know, there's something about listening to hallway snickers before and after meetings or seeing the occasional smirk from other contractors at job walks that sort of steels your resolve and simmers your communication style in a certain flavor.

People who are "full time except at work" don't understand our reality, and we don't understand theirs. That's perfectly fine, but at some point we all need to agree that transitioning means just that, and that's what transsexuals do. However you are doing it, and however long it takes isn't the concern here. Nobody that I know has done it the same way, in fact the only thing any of us have in common is that we've done it. When you come here looking for answers or camaraderie it would be helpful to understand who we are, and don't be upset when we try to understand who you are.


You know what they say.... The road to hell is paved with good intentions LOL