Why go so casually dressed to crossdress based events?

[Princess Chantal]

I've been going to crossdress based events and social group meetings for nearly 12 years and the first half of that time it was very rare to see someone attend in somewhat casual clothing. Now days it seems to be a very common trend to come to crossdress based house parties or meetings in "blending-in" type of look (you know the comfy jeans, capris, and virtually no raised heel to their shoes).

My question is for those that tend to take their casual shopping outing type of look to crossdress based events.

Why not get your glitz on with a dazzling dress or raise the roof with high heels and short skirts to these type of events? You know, like go with a look that you just don't really do all that often.

[Ariamythe]

Perhaps because for them it's not about the glitz and glam? One thing I quickly learned coming here is that there's lots of CDers who dress for lots of different reasons, and who are in lots of stages of life. If someone's been dressing long enough, it's possible that the thrill of being en femme has worn off, and instead they're comfortable just being female.

[DanaR]

I just enjoy going out and getting dressed up too much doesn't matter to me any more. Most of the time, I'm fine just blending. I've been told many times that I dress like a TS, whatever that means.

[Cheryl T]

I dress in what I am comfortable in at that point in time.
Sometimes I feel like being "dressy" and sometimes I don't. I'm just an average gal, doing average things.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For myself , yes i did go to a few different social group meetings & i wore nice clothes, you have to remember im a woman & i saw no need as it was not a really special night out & it was not worth doing as i had for some meetings needed to take 2 1/2 hours to get there all driveing, the other reason was quite a few did not know how to dress & seemed to not wont to.

The groups im a member of we all get dressed, every time we have our meetings, though this is quite different from trans / dresser's community,

...noeleena...

[Angela Campbell]

It varies with me. I sometimes dress to the nines with a nice dress or skirt but sometimes I want to look more casual in jeans and a nice top. I never look slouchy though, always classy. When going out to a girls night out it will depend on where we are going. If it is a nicer place then a dress for sure but some places you wouldn't want to look that dressed up so it is a more casual look. I like all kinds of outfits as long as they are feminine. I don't want to be stuck with only one type.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It also depends on the makeup of the group. For obvious reasons, trans groups that lean TS will have less dressed up than those that lean toward the occasional TV.

[Kate Simmons]

Times change, people change. Perhaps it's now more about who they are and how they feel rather than what they look like.:)

[kimdl93]

I'm pretty much an everyday, casual kinda gal. I do like to get dressed up on occasion, and if I were to attend an event, I'd make an effort to kick it up a notch.

[Amanda22]

I dress for comfort, yet in clothing that suits my feminine inner gender. I find I'm most comfortable this way. On rare occasions to be at a CD event, I do the same. I don't know why, but I'd feel overdressed to dress to the nines. If I had a formal event to go to, I'd dress appropriately for that.

[audreyinalbany]

Pretty much like GG's. Some times it's fun to get dressed to the nines, sometimes everyday clothes will do.

[I Am Paula]

So many of us go out and about nowadays, that CD group meetings seem to be a dying breed. Blending has become the new stepping out. Ironic that when gay culture became so much more accepted, gay social outlets (bars etc.) thrived, yet as CDing becomes more OK, social outlets seem to disappear. Is it that gays still WANT to be socially segregated, whereas transgenders just want to enter the mainstream?-Celeste

[Rhonda Darling]

So many of us go out and about nowadays, that CD group meetings seem to be a dying breed. Blending has become the new stepping out. Ironic that when gay culture became so much more accepted, gay social outlets (bars etc.) thrived, yet as CDing becomes more OK, social outlets seem to disappear. Is it that gays still WANT to be socially segregated, whereas transgenders just want to enter the mainstream?-Celeste

CD group meetings may be disappearing where you are, but in the Washington, DC area (to include Northern Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland that I know of personally) the meetings seem to still be thriving. There may be more groups that seek to get out and about together, but there are still many Meetups and other gatherings where it's just the girls (and ofter a smattering of significant others) getting together socially in a save setting (home or other private venue). For every person who is totally comfortable just going about their daily business en femme, there are probably a lot more who are still trying to get their courage and their look to a place where they can go out comfortably. Groups are a great way to get safe feedback, know that you are not alone, make friends, etc. so that you can launch yourself into the world solo. One Meetup that I go to offers a place to change/transform before the party (and vice versa afterwords) because some individuals are unable to get dressed and out of their own residence.

Your mileage may differ.

Rhonda

[Sallee]

I definitely dress down for casual blending type outing But if it is a CD event I can let the inter teenager out and where the higher heals ans sexier skirt. I will NOt be age appropriated at a CD event or a CD bar

[Fiona K]

I do glam when it's appropriate, such as when our dancing with my friends but not every day of every event is that appropriate.....
Of course some just want the glam and that's fine too.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Glam well appropriate. A lovely phrase from Scotland, I deduce.

I wish that I had someplace to go here. If i did I am sure I would dress glam well appropriately.

[Lacy PJs]

Maybe it's just a sign of the times. It used to be that gals wore dresses and guys wore suits or sports coats to church, school functions, funerals and other similar functions. Gee, I remember my grandmother wearing a hat & gloves to go see her attorney! Now, you see almost anything from jeans to shorts to t-shirts... maybe people (including CDs) just don't get dressed up anymore.

Lacy PJs

[Sheren Kelly]

It comes down to the motivation for your dressing. If you are just into clothes, you will glam up.
If you are expressing your gender then clothes only have to reenforce your identity, and you may dress down to "pass" more effectively.

[ReineD]

My question is for those that tend to take their casual shopping outing type of look to crossdress based events.

Why not get your glitz on with a dazzling dress or raise the roof with high heels and short skirts to these type of events? You know, like go with a look that you just don't really do all that often.

Most of the TGs at my SO's TG support group are out and about frequently, if not full-time, and they don't dress for attention. Also, quite a few go out for drinks after the meetings, and it would look really odd for 6-8 people to go to a bar or a club, all dressed in styles that are overly dressy for the venue or way younger than their ages. Most of the members are middle aged (40s to 60s) and there are few GGs this age who can get away with wearing short skirts and stiletto heels. Also, for the CDers who are not out and about frequently, there is the question of getting to and from the event. I'm guessing they don't want to attract lots of stares.

[Raquel June]

I like seeing people putting effort into the way they dress.

Before I had the guts to go out to regular places, I mostly went to gay bars and crossdresser/trans events. And there were a lot of drag queens and a lot of in-the-closet and not-quite-fashionable crossdressers. After awhile, you just want to dress more like an everyday woman, more like a backlash against being mistaken for a drag queen or for someone who raids the discount section of a thrift store.

I love fancy clothes and costume-ish stuff, but if you identify as a woman (and not as a guy in a costume), sometimes that just feels totally wrong to dress like that.

But it's pretty lame to go to a trans event and dress like you're going to hang out at a friend's house and watch a movie.



Maybe it's just a sign of the times. It used to be that gals wore dresses and guys wore suits or sports coats to church, school functions, funerals and other similar functions. Gee, I remember my grandmother wearing a hat & gloves to go see her attorney! Now, you see almost anything from jeans to shorts to t-shirts... maybe people (including CDs) just don't get dressed up anymore.

Lacy PJs

Maybe people don't wear hats and gloves, and there are more casual churches and social events, and maybe everything isn't a big event and you don't get all fancy to take the train to the big city ...

... But women wear skirts and dresses a lot more than they did in the 80s and 90s. For a long time casual meant sloppy, and work attire meant women dressing like men, but a lot of women dress very feminine these days, even if it's not formal.

[Bree Wagner]

I simply do what's comfortable and enjoyable for me and suspect that many others do the same. Oftentimes that means pants and a nice top, sometimes a skirt, and a dress every so often. Even then I'll still try and be moderately appropriate for the venue, but to each their own. Do what's fun!

[ArleneRaquel]

I have never attended a CD event in casual clothes. I always wear a dress. Back in my Gay Pride Parade activities I did dress casual and then some. :)

[ReineD]

The ladies who attend my SO's support groups are not dressed in sloppy jeans and Tshirts either. :p

They wear lovely skirts & blouses, or dresses, etc. But, they don't wear the short skirts & stiletto heels that are more appropriate for young women, nor do they wear razzle-dazzle gowns that are appropriate for formal events. The biggest problem with wearing these things is getting stared at for seeming "out of place", going to the event or going out afterwards.

[PretzelGirl]

I think there is a lot of variation in what a CD event means. I know I have talked with some groups where they meet in the public eye. Others meet privately to support those that don't get out. Just by virtue of the location and exposure, the average "dressiness" of the attendees can vary. I know if it is a closed event, I am more likely to step it up a little if I have no other plans for that part of the day.

[irishsissy]

I just like sexy clothes period. As long as you got the body you might as well show it off.It just makes me feel more like a girl. I know when I,m in male mode I,d much rather look at a sexy girl than one that is not. P.S. ( I know I,m going to catch alot of rippin for this reply)

[ReineD]

I just like sexy clothes period. As long as you got the body you might as well show it off.It just makes me feel more like a girl. I know when I,m in male mode I,d much rather look at a sexy girl than one that is not. P.S. ( I know I,m going to catch alot of rippin for this reply)

A lot of CDers feel the way you do and that's OK. To each their own! :)

The people who attend my SO's support group mostly have been dressing for many years out in public. If they did go through that stage in the beginning of their process, they're just not there any more. Or, maybe they dress in sexy clothes just when they plan to stay home. I'm a GG and there are things that I'd wear at home with my SO that I would never dream of wearing out in public. :p

[mikiSJ]

I heading out for the first time dressed Saturday for a SAC group event. It is a wine and chat type event and I would definitely be out of place in a ball gown, if I even had one.

I will be wearing a skirt, sweater with Tee underneath and knee high boots. I just like the thought of being a girl with other girls and from the previous get together images, I'll dressed appropriately if not overdressed; but I am not going into the hot tub.

[Maria 60]

Sometimes I had a long day and dress to be comfortable.

[artofbalance]

I'm going to agree with what someone else said... I went out once in dress and passed ok, but got creeped out when a guy was staring at my legs (guess i need to get pictures, huh?). Anyhow, it was a gay bar, that held a drag queen competition and also has a regular night for us. But going there I just knew that wasn't me, I'm not all glitz and glam, I dress down, kinda plain, but I'm not that type of person that is looking for attention. Well, maybe in some places I am... Just my $.02.

[Melissa Rose]

The group I am part of (River City Gems) has a variety of events throughout the year (16-18 of them). On one extreme is a gala ball where cocktail dresses and evening gowns are the norm. On the other is a picnic in a park where typical picnic wear for a late spring California day is the norm. There is also a huge summer luau party. Most events are classified as being causal to semi-dressy. Some events tend to bring out more of the semi-dressy outfits and the others more of the casual outfits. It really depends on the venue, activities, time of the year, budget, personal style choices, confidence level, experience and who knows what other factors. Not every event is suited for being dressy and casual makes way more sense. As long as you are dressed family friendly, you are welcome to attend any event in the attire of preference. There is no judgement since the idea is expressing your femininity in the manner best suited to you. One size does not fit all and your mileage may vary.

[Beverley Sims]

I would tend to dress down a bit these days.
When first going out I would dress up a bit.
It becomes a constant experiment I think.

[Genifer Teal]

The beauty of these events is you can dress however you want. Since it lasts several days and nights, the same level of dress may not be appropriate for different times of day. As I like to say, we break enough fashion rules, so if you choose to wear an evening gown to breakfast buffet, I'll be more interested in where you got it than why you wore it. If you venture out of the hotel for lunch or to the mall, you may want to fit in more with your surroundings. How much you fit in is up to you (weather by choice or not - lol). So, casual clothes do have their purpose. You may want to give them a try sometime. Wear them out and see how different you feel. You might like it. If not, make a spot for them in your closet. Some day you may want to try them again.

Gen

[mikiSJ]

Why not get your glitz on with a dazzling dress or raise the roof with high heels and short skirts to these type of events? You know, like go with a look that you just don't really do all that often.

Because some of the girls you are asking about are really comfortable just being a girl for the evening and being with other girls who don't really care about the clothes as much as the friendship.

I went to my first event two weekends ago and while almost every girl was dressed nicely, as if going to work or out to a simple dinner, no one wore a ball gown. But some of the girls came in pants or jeans. It was also a really friendly place to be that night.

[missmars]

Becase we want express feminity in our minds.

[Rocker Chick]

I've been going to crossdress based events and social group meetings for nearly 12 years and the first half of that time it was very rare to see someone attend in somewhat casual clothing. Now days it seems to be a very common trend to come to crossdress based house parties or meetings in "blending-in" type of look (you know the comfy jeans, capris, and virtually no raised heel to their shoes).

My question is for those that tend to take their casual shopping outing type of look to crossdress based events.

Why not get your glitz on with a dazzling dress or raise the roof with high heels and short skirts to these type of events? You know, like go with a look that you just don't really do all that often.

I agree with you. If I was going out dressed I would be Paris Hilton, only way hotter, but minus the money, and way more ****ty :devil:

[Carla4Guage]

Let's face it! Look around, how many GGs do you see wearing a skirt in the mall. Unless they are dressing for a party, you don't see women in skirts anymore. To dress in a skirt with anything "over the top" in heels is to beg for the dreaded comment "Oh, there goes one of THOSE!"

[Di]

Why not get your glitz on with a dazzling dress or raise the roof with high heels and short skirts to these type of events? You know, like go with a look that you just don't really do all that often.

My question back to you is.......Why not dress the way you want?

We go out alot and I like you like to be glitzy ( I am the GG) and Sherlyn favors the more girl next door look.Although she has alot of dressy clothes she feels more herself in jean skirts and I dress up because I love that. So we do what we like to do and I think thats the most important thing is BE YOURSELF:hugs:.

[Princess Chantal]

My question back to you is.......Why not dress the way you want?
.......
I think thats the most important thing is BE YOURSELF:hugs:.

Great question and even a better quote (actually the quote may have triggered a future thread question)

Some may be wondering why I haven't been active on this thread. My initial intentions were to participate, however there was another thread that referrenced to this thread that made my question look like I am being critical of those that choose to go casually dressed. So I thought that I'd stay quiet until the other thread dies down.
I made this thread for the purpose for me to become more understanding (or atleast be aware of) the various reasons why some attendees to these crossdressing functions may come quite casual. The question was posed to those that tend to dress casually for cding functions cause I like to learn from them and not from others assumptions.

Anyhoo, enough of that.

I tend to vary in my crossdressing presentation, sometimes I dress up abit more and some times I just feel like going casual to these functions (eventhough the casual is quite rare now days). A few times I'd be asked why I am dressed in a particular way , especially when I show up in a victorian outfit for a meeting and that's when I answer with...... cause that is the way I wanted to enjoy my crossdressing session today and I am making the most out of it. I am very open minded and welcoming (or atleast I think I am) when it comes to how others enjoy their crossdressing. I love seeing the various forms whether it be casual, dressy, costumed, fetishy, etc and wish that I never come across as being critical of their preferences (especially in the manner that some of this forum members come across).

For those that took time in educating me on their (and in some instances their SO's) reasons to go casual thank you very much, I really appreciate it.