Do we have to always dress to the nines?

[Kate Simmons]

Thinking about the other thread about dressing casual while attending CD events. Do we always need to pursue the glitz and glitter in feminine finery every time we go out? Personally, I think it has something to do with being comfortable with who we are and that we don't have to make a fashion statement all the time. There are some folks that say just because we are dressing up, we have to go over the top so we are noticed. These are usually the same folks who have stereotypes in mind when expressing how they think women "should" dress.

I look at it more from the viewpoint of being free to be myself and express that in any way I choose to, otherwise we impose limitations on ourselves and project them onto others. The more diverse I am the better as that gives me wiggle room to expand my art form. How do others feel about this? :)

[audreyinalbany]

I think this kind of goes back to the "blending" discussion. Most GG's I know don't get all dolled up to go browse at the mall

[TGMarla]

I always dress up pretty well to the nines. I understand how some crossdressers like to go casual, especially in order to blend in when they go out. But I enjoy all the finery - the dresses, the hosiery, the high heels. It's the primary reason that I dress up to begin with. So to each her own. I'm not doing it to be noticed, or to make any statements about how I think women should dress. It's how I like to dress. I'm well aware that many, if not all, women these days rarely even wear dresses anymore. But I enjoy them. They are one of the finer privileges of womanhood to me. So that's what I like to wear, and that's why I wear them. It's that simple, and one need not read any more into it than that.

[Amanda22]

Speaking only for myself, this isn't about blending. My motivation for not dressing to the nines isn't because I don't want to stand out. I'm going to stand out no matter what I wear, even if I'm wearing what every other woman is wearing. I wear what I feel makes me look most attractive and satisfies me and my need to present as a woman. When I first starting dressing en femme in public a couple of years ago, I wanted to be ultra-feminine in my choices of clothing. I've progressed somehow to settle into a really comfortable state. For me, it's like a pendulum swing from being scared to death to be seen in public, to dressing way femininely for the sake of making a statement, to just being myself. "Just being myself" without concern for the judgments of others, knowing I'm "read" constantly, just feels right. If a person feels right wearing a party dress to the grocery, that's good, too.

[Karren H]

Being the best dressed person where ever I go is not a sin im my book..... I don't want to be part of the background scenery.... I want to standout......

[NicoleScott]

We're not all driven to crossdress the same, so we don't dress the same way. Dressing to the nines isn't about making a fashion statement as you assert it is. It's about feeling good, feeling that we look good, being in our own comfort zone. As an over-the-top dresser, I've tried toning it down in order to blend, but it didn't suit me. I wasn't comfortable. So I dressed to please myself, even if it meant that my outings needed to be a little less visible.
Kate, you said you want to be free to express yourself. So do I. If you want to dress down, more casual, more passable, go for it. I won't examine your intentions.
I'd like the same from you.

[kimdl93]

Nah, I really don't think anyone believes that we are obliged to dress to anyone elses standards. There may be a few CDrs who take a great deal of pleasure from getting all dressed up, and that's ok. And it may be difficult for them to understand why everyone doesn't feel the same way. That's normal too. We often are so embedded in our own values and preferences that we presume everyone else thinks the same way.

[Princess Chantal]

My answer is nope, not always.
However.....
If I am looking forward to an outing or event with enthusiasm, then my dressing would indicate as such by dressing up to the nines or close to it.

[NicoleScott]

There may be a few CDrs who take a great deal of pleasure from getting all dressed up, and that's ok. And it may be difficult for them to understand why everyone doesn't feel the same way.

Kim, I think just the opposite. I think the casual, blendable, dressers have a harder time understanding why we like to dress to the nines than we do understanding why you like a more casual presentation. I've never seen a "why don't you dress to the nines?" thread, but there have been several critical of over-the-top dressers.

EDIT: I stand corrected. See Princess Chantal's related thread.

[sonna]

i like to look good, casual for most girls nowadays is white tee and jeans...blaa .i can do that in guy mood.

[Princess Chantal]

Kim, I think just the opposite. I think the casual, blendable, dressers have a harder time understanding why we like to dress to the nines than we do understanding why you like a more casual presentation. I've never seen a "why don't you dress to the nines?" thread, but there have been several critical of over-the-top dressers.

EDIT: I stand corrected. See Princess Chantal's related thread.
Well someone had to return the volleyball to the other side of the net and I'm willing to take the bruise and scrape on the knee LOL

[Maria S]

I agree with Sonna. In girl mode I rarely wear t-shirts, jeans, even trousers. They are just not enough "transformation". I put a lot of time and effort to looking good but without going overboard. All biological women have different levels of how they want to look from the masculine through to the most feminine with designer names, not a hair out of place and a figure to match. We girls are the same. You don't see many biological women walking round a shopping centre looking like they just stepped off the top of a Christmas tree but on the other hand some you never see in anthing other than combat trousers and a sweat shirt. Personally I am a blender who likes to show an effort has been made.

Maria

[Ceri Anne]

I do my best to express myself as a woman, my femme side. That means I like to dress up and i do......often. But sometimes its just as fun to dress casual, in jeans, a nice blouse, sneakers or flats, and I'm finding myself dressing more business or office like and that feels really good when shopping, or just everyday.

[I Am Paula]

I swing both ways on this one. If I'm picking up the dry cleaning, and a loaf of bread, I tend to just be casual. Nice casual granted (nothing worn out, no track pants). If I'm going out on a daytime social occasion like coffee with the girls, it goes to the next level. Designer casual. If I'm doing dinner and a show-look out- pull out all the stops. Manolo didn't design those shoes to sit in the closet.-Celeste

[paulinescotlandcd]

If you take a look at my photographs (link below) you will see I am not the type to blend in if I chose to go shopping at the local mall.

I think I would have no problem blending in or simply gatecrashing a wedding. No jeans and T shirts here folks, no siree,if a job is worth doing it's worth over doing!!!...lol.

[SheriM]

When dressing, I want to look good, even sexy and I love short skirts, low cut blouses, etc., however when in public, I cannot pull off the 20-25 yr old look and over the years, I have toned it down so that I could go out in public. I still show some shape, sometimes a little cleavage and a flat front, but it is in jeans or pants. I wear high heels, makeup and recently sometimes a wig. I guess I have given up on looking sexy but not on wearing all female clothing.
SheriM

[Kate Simmons]

Just to let everyone know, I'm not criticizing anyone as everyone has their own purpose and comfort level with dressing. The thread was mostly designed to see the different feelings about this. I love dressing to the nines like anyone else but can have just as much fun being myself either way. Thanks for your expressions so far my friends. :)

[Fiona K]

No we don't need to, though for some that is kinda the point. I'm in skinny jeans and sweater just now as it's chilly.
Not glam, just comfortable but still expressing who I am.

[Julie Denier]

I only wear dresses and heels in girl mode. For me, that's the whole fun of dressing -- I can dress casual as a guy whenever I want.

[NV Susan]

Wow, I read all the posts about dressing to the nines....I'm happy if I can make it to the sevens.... :o

[Jenniferathome]

We don't "have to" but dressing is fun and because so many get little opportunity, they'd prefer to go all out when they do get a chance. Also, we tend to need heavy makeup and that goes better with "dressed up." Still, more and more I want to and am developing a casual style because being out in daylight is more fun that night time, I think.

[joank]

Sometimes dressing to the nines is not practical. Yesterday I was house cleaning and wore woman's jeans, sweater and loafers. I had on normal daytime makeup and some nice jewlery but nothing like when I get really dressed up. I could have gone to any big box store and fit right in with the other GG's. Maybe I dress so much that the need/want to dress up has become more situational (like a GG).

[Maria S]

One thing about always dressing to the nines is the cost. I get the impression from a lot of replies on this site that for some money seems to be no object. I suppose it's not so bad if you dress full time but if not it is like supporting another person.

Maria

[~Joanne~]

Thinking about the other thread about dressing casual while attending CD events. Do we always need to pursue the glitz and glitter in feminine finery every time we go out? Personally, I think it has something to do with being comfortable with who we are and that we don't have to make a fashion statement all the time. There are some folks that say just because we are dressing up, we have to go over the top so we are noticed. These are usually the same folks who have stereotypes in mind when expressing how they think women "should" dress.

I look at it more from the viewpoint of being free to be myself and express that in any way I choose to, otherwise we impose limitations on ourselves and project them onto others. The more diverse I am the better as that gives me wiggle room to expand my art form. How do others feel about this? :)

I think it really depends on where your at with your dressing and how often you actually go out. Girls in the early stages of going out places, myself included, will usually go the nines while girls who have dressed for a long time and are out quite often, will dress more casual.

I have only been out enfemme three times, all three were dressed to the nines. I didn't want to waste the opportunity I guess you could say :)

[Dianeob]

To meet, it is a matter of dressing that fits the occasion. When going out to nice restaurant or symphony, I want to use that setting to get very dressed up. For mall shopping, still want to present as well as I can while overdoing presentation. Nice dinner on Tues meant LCD, pears and heels. Last night's shopping meant a much more casual look. Felt passes well in both instances...reverse the outfits ad settings and I don't think either would have worked

[Jaymees22]

Sometimes I dress to the nines and other times I don't. I like to dress many different ways from casual to over the top. It all depends on the mood I'm in and the time I have. Of course I always want to look nice and neat even in drab. Jaymee

[CassandraSmith]

Regarding the original post:

I think Lady Gaga said it best... "It's Viva Glam!"

Besides, at my age, clothing covers a multitude of sins ;-)


Cassy

[Beverley Sims]

Once upon a time I could wear a bikini to the beach and not dress to the nines.
Now days I would get arrested dressed either way, I can get away with tank top and shorts though.

[NicoleScott]

The original question was why do some CD's always dress to the nines every time?
It's not about dressing up sometimes. Several answered, but Marla said it simplest and best:


It's how I like to dress.

[Angela Campbell]

I do love to get all dressed up...oh yes I do. But I simply adore women and I think they are beautiful whether dressed to the nines or in jeans and a T. There are many looks and I want to be able to try them all. Oh, I never dress like a slouch, if it is jeans I will have a very nice top on, and probably nice boots as well, but it is not so formal a look as an evening gown. I like sundresses as well as a skirt suit to tell the truth. I want it all!

[reb.femme]

Strange coincidence this post coming up.

I would normally dress to the nines if going out, but tomorrow night I'm in jeans, ankle boots and a soft floaty top. Still reckon I'll be Belle of the Ball at my Trans meet. It doesn't hurt to be a little conceited now and again and a girl's got to dream :heehee:

Rebecca

[susan54]

I dress nicely even at home,and actively seek out situations where I can wear my more elegant (and well accessorised) outfits - shopping at upmarket boutiques, for example, you get better service (male or female) if you dress the part. Even if I don't bother with make-up I will always dress well and walk elegantly. And no trousers! As others have said, this is why some of us dress as we do. No more, no less.

I don't care if people realise I am a man, but I do care that they think "but his outfit is lovely"

[SandraInHose]

Even though I don't venture out of the house, dressing to me is all about the fantastic clothes and materials that I can't wear as a man. For me, that means I'm wearing nylon, satin, chenille(sp?), chiffon, and other items that I couldn't wear otherwise. My dressing is about the specific items that 'speak to me'. I have no desire to wear women's denim jeans or cotton undergarments or cotton-blend pullovers, etc... in other words, basically the same clothes I wear as a man (even of they are cut differently).

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno, sometimes when I pose these questions I tend to tick some folks off. No one has to explain anything to me as I accept everyone for who they are. Sometimes I feel that maybe I should just say nothing as some folks seem to be content with who they are and leave it at that. I have to continually re-invent myself, however, to fine tune myself and move forward. That is just who I am as a person and can accept no less for myself. For the most part when I ask these types of questions I am just thinking out loud.

[Contessa]

I don't think any of us should want to blend in. Cause standing out is where we should be going so as to be accepted. So what ever way you get to that point is okay with me. Just get dressed and get out as you can. That's how people will learn to accept us. Don't ya think?

Tess

[Angela Campbell]

Kate, I really enjoy these posts as they allow me to see how others feel. I hope no one has been ticked off by it. I love hearing others stories!

[famousunknown]

I don't think any of us should want to blend in.

And this comment...pretty much exemplifies exactly why Cd’s will never be accepted by society in general.

[NicoleScott]

Famous, I didn't take Contessa's comment that way. I've never thought that I needed to get out there "for the cause" of crossdresser acceptance. I dress for my own pleasure, mostly home alone. Maybe Contessa was saying that if a CD blends so that she is seen as a GG, it doesn't help the cause of crossdresser acceptance. That's how I saw it.

[YorkshireRose]

Even though I don't venture out of the house, dressing to me is all about the fantastic clothes and materials that I can't wear as a man. For me, that means I'm wearing nylon, satin, chenille(sp?), chiffon, and other items that I couldn't wear otherwise. My dressing is about the specific items that 'speak to me'. I have no desire to wear women's denim jeans or cotton undergarments or cotton-blend pullovers, etc... in other words, basically the same clothes I wear as a man (even of they are cut differently).

I agree with Sandra 100%, I can wear jeans etc anytime in guy mode. I don't feel the need to dress to the nines when I dress all the time, however if im going to dress, I will be wearing wither a skirt or a dress, even if it's only from a charity shop.

[rachaelsloane]

Depends on the venue. I went to a play last night, dress and heels, but tonight I'm meeting friends at a cafe to listen to a band, so it's jeans, sweater and boots. I can't speak for all, but for me it's getting out and interacting with others and I don't need to be in dress to do that.

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

I gotta admit I find humor in this discussion. For a long time I just wanted to dress in whatever I could find or get in to. Then I started to buy some things and ventured out a few times, which seemed to require some blending. So that was my mantra. In the summer I enjoyed casual capris, flats, with a tee. Then in the last week I've bought some "younger" sexier clothes and I love them too. So no matter what I think I think I eventually end up thinking something else. Right now I just want to dress in whatever I can find or get in to!

Kathleen Ann

[Ericaxd]

This has been an interesting discussion, with the wide range of views. In that regard, we're just like any other group of women with a wide variety of fashion tastes. I work at home, and most often wear something like skinny jeans, a nice top and flats. In warmer weather, a denim skirt is nice to wear around the house. But were I going to have the Las Vegas adventure discussed on another thread (of the envy!), why I'd have on my red dress with the flared skirt and almost cleavage revealing bodice, silky stockings and spiky heels, bangles and rings and dangly sparkly earrings and a lipstick to match the dress.

[NathalieX66]

It's always fun to "dress to the nines" if it's something you typically don't get to do.

Going to CD events , IMHO, should allow you to do what you feel like doing, providing it's not too inappropriate.

Dressing as a woman and blending in , in a given setting in public , feels like dressing as a woman.....and I'm fine with that.

[Eryn]

When I first started dressing fully I was thrilled just being in feminine clothes. Then I started going out and discovered the concept of dressing for the occasion. A nice dinner demands different clothing than a afternoon's shopping in a resort town. I understood this intellectually, but actually putting outfits together required a different level of attention! Both are femme, but the clothes are different and this difference is part of the fun of dressing.

As I have matured in my clothing selection (an accelerated version of what GGs go through between age 12 and 30) I've been able to develop my own style to go with the various levels of dressiness. One can dress casually but still femininely and stylishly. I've acquired a selection of dresses for those "dressed to the nines" occasions, but I'm not going to wear them to the mall!

The other question is how much attention one wishes to draw. If you're on the cutting edge of style people are going to look at you like a runway model and if you relish this attention then that's the goal you aim for. I aim for a somewhat safer place by waiting until I see a particular style on a few GGs before I make the leap myself. I think that this follows the model that most GGs use.

A final question is one of comfort and convenience. If I'm going to walk a mile or two around a mall I'm not going to do it in tall heels. If I'm trying things on I'm going to wear clothes that can be easily removed (wide necklines, skirt or jeans, slip-in shoes, etc.) to make this easier. Again, I try to model what a smart GG would do and it seems to work well for me.

[PretzelGirl]

Remember, women like to dress up some too and the frequency they do it depends on the event and probably not doing it too often as it would become a burden. So apply that back to a percentage of us (nothing applies to all of us). If you only get the opportunity to dress at rare occasions, you might be more inclined to dress up each and every time. Plus if you dress often and get some events in that allow you to dress up, you may be more likely to not dress up for other things like casual get togethers, shopping, movies, etc....

[JustineFallow]

For the same reason that you never saw Bruce Wayne going out as Batman with just the cowl and utility belt, or just the chest symbol and boots, or just the cape and gloves along with a tuxedo, you'll never see me without the full production going on.

[FrozenShiela]

I love dressing as feminine as I can at home, but sadly in public that's not possible.

If I go out en femme, I would want to be dressed as inconspiciously as possible(sadly).

[Duana]

Do we always have to dress to the 9s?

NO

[LaraPeterson]

Kate, I love to wiggle and I need plenty of room. For me it's not an art form, it's survival. I love to be in survival mode and when I am I go all out. The higher the heel, the shinier the hose, the redder the nails, the longer the lashes, the flashier the earrings, the better I like it. Like someone else said, I'm not trying to blend. Even at 5'9", in 5" heels I'm way over six feet tall. If I'm going to stand out, I want someone to say, "Whew, look at her/him/it."

[AimeeG]

I shoot for about an 8 1/2, but everyone always asks that other guy why he's always dressed up or what special event he's going to! Go figure.

[Stephanie47]

My male persona wears the jeans, tees and athletic shoes. Stephanie, a child of the 1950's and 1960's, reflects the femininity of that day by always wearing a pretty dress, hosiery, heels and proper undergarments. I would not feel the least bit feminine if I wore a pair of women's jeans or pants.

[melissakozak]

When I go to a club, I wear a club dress. When I go out to a regular restaurant, I want to look like every other woman does...jeans, flats and a nice top...

[NicoleScott]

"Do we have to always dress to the nines?"

I don't know about we but I always dress to the nines.

Good observation, Suzy. Nobody can answer what "we" (crossdressers, collectively) do or think. We're not all the same. So people can only answer for themselves. Some do, some don't. Big surprise there.

[Danielle_cder]

I definitely dont dress to the 9's maybe if im on cam or something, but out and about town jeans sweatshirt tennis shoes (nice n boring blends perfectly;))

[Ally 2112]

If i went out in public dressed all the time or even once in a while (which i don't ) i would probally dress more casually in womens clothes of course .But being pretty well closeted when i do dress it is to the nines !.I want to always experience the wonderful sensation of the feminene feeling i get from wearing a dress, skirt hose and make up .To me it is a wonderful feeling :)

[Kate Simmons]

Evidently I'm going to continue to be hammered about this.Someone is always going to take it personally. I probably should have never posted it to begin with. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort.

[Leah Lynn]

I may dress to the nines if the occasion calls for it, or if I'm staying in and want to do it up. When going out, I dress for the occasion, blending as needed. Well, to a point. I still wear heels or boots. I only wear the sneakers when exercising or walking.

[suchacutie]

Kate, your question was insightful and I'm glad you asked it! Please remember that there are enough of us on this forum that at least one of us can be a bit out of step on any question :)

So, your question made me think about why I'm sitting here dressed as I am (tunic-length sweater, black leggings, patent tie heels, blonde hair, jewelry, and a full-makeup compliment). I'm not "dressed to the 9's" but I'm sure not a guy (:)) and I think that's where the answer is for me: I don't want to look like "him" when I'm me! (if you follow that). I'm Tina and I should look like Tina and sound like Tina and act like Tina. It's probably easier for someone like me since I really do separate my gendered selves as much as possible.

For me it doesn't have to be star-studded fashions every time, but even on the occasions where I've donned jeans there is no doubt that I've made the transition and Tina has arrived! :)

Thanks for the question!

[joank]

Kate,you asked for opinions, not concensus. It's a good querstion and it is fun to read the varying answers.

[Raychel]

I have only stepped out the door a couple of times, Those times I dressed like I liked.
For the rest of the times I get to dress it is all formal dress, That is the style I like, why dress any other way.

[Contessa]

Famous, I didn't take Contessa's comment that way. I've never thought that I needed to get out there "for the cause" of crossdresser acceptance. I dress for my own pleasure, mostly home alone. Maybe Contessa was saying that if a CD blends so that she is seen as a GG, it doesn't help the cause of crossdresser acceptance. That's how I saw it.


Yes that is what I meant originally, Nicole. But now that I have reread as to what you were saying maybe I should have said it differently. What I mean is that you get dressed and stay inside then acceptance will take much longer. The more of us that are seen whether as a woman or a man in a dress will make it easier for all to accept. It is like when boys didn't wear earrings. Still they only wear small post earrings so while in boy/guy mode I wore dangling hoops and no one said anything. Not that I want them to, I just need to find out what reaction I would get and mostly girls saying they liked them. Does this say it better.

Tess

[GG7irish]

My SO and I just had this conversation, He said that wearing pants did not make him feel ladylike...which makes sense. There are so many cute fashions now days that go from a full range of dressed to the nines and for just hanging around that you will still feel ultra feminine, that as long as you are comfortable and looking good then I say go for it :)

[Jenniferathome]

My SO and I just had this conversation, He said that wearing pants did not make him feel ladylike...which makes sense. There are so many cute fashions now days that go from a full range of dressed to the nines and for just hanging around that you will still feel ultra feminine, that as long as you are comfortable and looking good then I say go for it :)

Cassandra and I fall into a similar group. When I dress, I want to appear really feminine but I am trying to find a way to wear pants (skinny jeans) and still have that "very feminine" feeling. I'll get there. Still, I think that "dressed tot he nines" needs the qualifier, "for the occasion." So if going to a broadway play, dressed to the nines means one thing but going to a brunch or movie means another and you are still "dressed to the nines." If it means only one thing, then you will be hopelessly overdressed to virtually every place you go.

[Judith96a]

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find anywhere to GO when dressed up to the nines (mid-week in London) without sticking out like the proverbial sore thumb. Why? Becasue all the GGs are in jeans and T-shirts (or at least that's how it feels!!).
Why do I WANT to get dressed up to the nines? Because I get so little opportunity and I love it so!

[julia marie]

I haven't tried dressing to the nines. Prefer the more casual look in m or f mode. So, casual en femme typically is denim or pleated skirt (girl jeans are good with either boots or sandals). The dressiest I get is more business dress, like a pencil skirt with a fairly dressy top. As a guy, that tux hasn't left my closet in a long time.

[famousunknown]

Yes that is what I meant originally, Nicole. But now that I have reread as to what you were saying maybe I should have said it differently. What I mean is that you get dressed and stay inside then acceptance will take much longer. The more of us that are seen whether as a woman or a man in a dress will make it easier for all to accept. It is like when boys didn't wear earrings. Still they only wear small post earrings so while in boy/guy mode I wore dangling hoops and no one said anything. Not that I want them to, I just need to find out what reaction I would get and mostly girls saying they liked them. Does this say it better.

Tess
Be careful before you involuntarily enroll people in your crusade for 'acceptance'. Some of us could care less about educating the public, proving something, or that kind of thing. IMHO, blending should always be the goal.

[SAMANN]

:)Considering that the majority of women I see are in jeans and a T-shirt wearing a dress in public is considered overdressed. I prefer to wear dresses when I get the opportunity Jeans are for working. What I don't understand is when I see the young women in their pajama bottoms running around the mall and the older women looking like they just fixed the car. I prefer to look presentable and finished for the occasion since I don't go out the occasion is usually a fancy dress ball.

[Michelle (Oz)]

The more I go out dressed the more that I acknowledge that I don't pass although passing/blending remains my aim. Wearing makeup automatically means that I don't blend in many situations - fact of life. GGs wear little makeup at day time. I also won't wear pants or shorts - something that I do as a male.

I still find I'm accepted by those with whom I interact when out. In my view that acceptance comes from being comfortable to interact as a male presenting as female, and in the manner that I present. As Eryn observed, much of the fun of CDing is developing style, colour sense and presentation skills.

Sadly, I have few opportunities to dress formally, thankfully for my financial position.

[NicoleScott]

Evidently I'm going to continue to be hammered about this.Someone is always going to take it personally. I probably should have never posted it to begin with. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort.

Come on , Kate. You start provocative threads all the time. You know what you're doing. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but you shouldn't be whining abut the responses you get.

[Amanda22]

Evidently I'm going to continue to be hammered about this.Someone is always going to take it personally. I probably should have never posted it to begin with. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort.

I've felt like that after the last couple of threads I started or even responded to.

[Kate Simmons]

Come on , Kate. You start provocative threads all the time. You know what you're doing. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but you shouldn't be whining abut the responses you get.Not really whining Nicole just a bit emotional. Things are changing. Damn hormones I guess.:)

[Jorja]

Yes, you must dress to the nines each and every time you dress. CDers Handbook page 15 2nd paragraph. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Yes, you must dress to the nines each and every time you dress. CDers Handbook page 15 2nd paragraph. :)Hmm, I'm guessing Karren Hutton wrote that part Jorja. :heehee::)

[danielleinbr]

I try to dress for the occasion, but always in a tasteful manner. If I am going out to a ballgame, I am not going to wear a tight A-line dress, If I am going out on a romantic date, I will dress accordingly. Dressing nicely can be done with most any outfit, just as there are situation appropriate styles of makeup, ie daytime versus night. But in the end it all comes down to how each individual wants to look and whats makes them happy. To each their own.
Danielle

[Lorileah]

Do we have to? No. But since I don't like seeing anyone out and about looking they could not care less about how the appear I do get dressed. There is a difference in looking good and looking like you fell out of bed sniffed the clothes on the floor and decided that they could be worn another week. I dress for the venue I am attending. Since what I wear through out the day is pretty much what most women would wear doing routine things, slacks, flats, a pullover or polo top, my hair in a braid, no make up, no or little jewelry, then why would I want to go to a nice restaurant, or movie, or bar or even shopping looking like I have been at work all day? Also since the majority of people here get out rarely, why would you want to just disappear? You can stay home and not be noticed. I dress to impress and I dress to noticed. And what I wear says class and style. If I were looking for employment I would want them to see ME. After I had their attention then we could discuss the job but if you present as dull and drab, you don't even get a chance. So every time I am out, who knows, there may be an agent or an employer or potential partner out there.

My GF always looked her best. She did wear jeans on occasion but even then she looked like she really cared about what she had on. She never wore sweats unless she was at the gym and even then they weren't just loose baggy sweats. Everyone noticed her. Some women didn't like her because all the men noticed her (and no I was not insecure because I knew she was with me and she was staying with me). If I was in male mode. I dressed to impress also. That way everyone saw a couple who cared about themselves.

[IngeInCO]

No, do you wear a tux everyday in guy mode? I reckon it depends on what you are after. I like the sort of fit, sporty look. Maybe I'm conservative but I think It's best for me to dress more everyday style and be as natural as possible.

Damn I'm old!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Be careful before you involuntarily enroll people in your crusade for 'acceptance'. Some of us could care less about educating the public, proving something, or that kind of thing. IMHO, blending should always be the goal.

Just because you could care less doesn't mean it's wrong for those who do care about it to do so. No one was enrolling you in anything. It is a fact that the more of us who get out and about and are public, the less and less a big deal it will be to people and acceptance will be that much closer. It doesn't mean you are obligated to be part of that "more of us." It doesn't mean you're wrong to not push the envelope if you're not comfortable with doing so. But the fact remains, the more of us that do, the better for the cause of acceptance. Okay, fine, acceptance is not your goal, great. Don't dismiss people for whom it is, because they want to be able to be themselves and live that way in public. You don't have to help them, but can't you at least avoid being part of the problem?

Blending should always be the goal? If you rephrased that to be "Blending is always my goal." I'd have no problem with it. But you saying blending should always be THE goal, is doing exactly what you are attacking Contessa for doing. You're foisting your own goal onto others as how they should proceed. Some people may not be able to blend, or might look better by not blending than they do when they do blend. Should they limit their personal enjoyment of cross-dressing or compromise what might be their better looks because you think they should make blending their goal?

[SarahMarie42]

I say express yourself in whatever way makes you happiest. If you don't want to present yourself in accordance with a binary, don't. If you do, do it. As for dressing to "the nines", my answer is "no". I'm just as happy sitting around the house in my wig and my PJ's (more of the feminine variety, of course) and being me as I am getting all dolled up for pictures or going somewhere nice -- and I'm just as happy going out and being plain too. I just like presenting myself as a girl. Whatevs.


Edit: Even then, I don't always doll up for pictures x] (See avatar)

[5150 Girl]

As an Avon lady, I like to show off my wares.... shoes dresses, jewlery, makeup perfume,, ect.. you get the idea. If somone comes up to me and says "I like your _____" I can say Thanks, it's Avon... want a catalog?
However, I do admit, dressing to the 9's all the time can be a bit tireing, so I do have a bunch of casual things to...

[Mythic]

I think it's too much effort to dress up for everthing lol. An I'm not a fan of glitter. I don't need to stand out, just be happy with what I'm wearing.

[ReineD]

My SO is consistently better dressed than me and the other women in our environment. She loves to look stylish and she keeps up to date with all the new fashions. Unfortunately we live in a corner of the world where women simply don't dress. The nearest urban area is two hours away and even there, women don't dress up like they do on the coasts.

I feel awkward dressing up to go to a venue or restaurant where I know everyone will be wearing jeans, so I don't do it. But, I don't blame my SO for wanting to wear all the beautiful clothes she has.

When I lived on the West Coast, my wardrobe was much more expansive than it is now. I also can dress well when I visit my family in Montreal. But here? I feel like a duck out of water. :sad:

[sometimes_miss]

Do we have to always dress to the nines? NO. I'm usually wearing simple skirts and tops, with either thigh high stockings and mary janes, or knee socks and penny loafers, simple female watch and bracelet, maybe clip on simple earrings. Rarely any make up. I'm most comfortable this way.

[bobbimo]

I'm with you Marla!
I always aim for pretty.
I only dress down if I have a day of indoor cleaning and chores.
But then I have to at least have the makeup right and I always try to look a little more feminine that what my wife is wearing.
Just because I enjoy the prettiness!
Bobbi

[Amanda22]

It is a fact that the more of us who get out and about and are public, the less and less a big deal it will be to people and acceptance will be that much closer. It doesn't mean you are obligated to be part of that "more of us." It doesn't mean you're wrong to not push the envelope if you're not comfortable with doing so. But the fact remains, the more of us that do, the better for the cause of acceptance.

I don't consider myself an activist, but in my opinion every time I'm "read" in public I'm doing something positive for cross dressers everywhere. I've had 100% positive feedback and experiences in two years of dressing en femme publicly, and I'm in conservative Tennessee! I mind my own business, and whether I'm dressed casually or "to the nines," people see me, accept me, and move on. That can only make it easier for other cross dressers.

I think very, very few cross dressers actually blend in enough to pass. To those who do blend and pass, I'm jealous! I don't think I pass, but I don't worry about it at all, because I'm not ashamed of myself. Every time I go out dressed en femme, I feel that by default I'm being a representative for all of us, whether or not I signed up for that role or not. The uninformed Joe or Jane Average judges all cross dressers by the few they actually encounter in real life. I'm proud that I brave social norms and do what makes me feel good. I never thought I could do it. Someday, perhaps not in my lifetime, cross dressing will be much more commonplace and not considered unusual or perverted. There will be no need for activism because enough of us got out there way back in the early 21st century. Bravo to you, Ryan, and especially to those who don't attempt "blending" and courageously present a combination of male and female dress and appearance. I sincerely thank you all!

[famousunknown]

It is a fact that the more of us who get out and about and are public, the less and less a big deal it will be to people and acceptance will be that much closer.



that's a fantasy.

[vivianann]

When I go out dressed I always wear dresses or skirts. Some outfits are more casual than others, I always wear pantyhose, and always do my makup and hair, and I always wear heels, most of my heels are 2.5 to 3.5 inches. I have taller heels for special occasions.
You can wear a dress without dressing to the nines, I just like the classic feminine look. I never wear pants when dressed enfemme, I do that enough in male mode.
I like to show off my girly legs, cannot do that wearing pants.

[LauraBird]

I guess it would depend on my mood more than anything. I've only been out a small handful of times, and only once to an official "TG" event. I think, the more I do this, I've started to enjoy trying to "pass" vs. "dressed to the nines." Maybe because I just naturally enjoy being challenged and it's definitely a challenge to take a tall, large-framed guy like me and pass. So that means, if I were to go shopping, or to a casual restaurant, it'd be flats, jeans, top. A fancier place, I'd doll it up a little more.

I think I might be more inclined to head towards "nine" territory for a specific TG event because at that point, I'm with a bunch of other CD'ers, might as well just enjoy the clothes that I normally might not wear. I almost went to a TG event this past week (got stuck at work and couldn't make it) but was definitely planning to wear something with my strappy heels because I figure, I'm already going to be stared at, might as well enjoy it. :)

[Netrixa]

You do know that a stuffed bra and the right hairstyle can make you an instant woman as long ad your postures is good, right? There are a lot of women who could easily pass for men with the chest wrapped ...being a female, I can tell you slot of it is body language, not clothes, women dress like men all the time

[Phoebe Reece]

I usually only get out dressed around 3 or 4 days every month. So, when I am doing it, I wear the clothes that I particularly enjoy wearing. That usually means wearing a skirt and nice top or a dress, hose, and heels. Yes, I tend to be a little more dressed up than most of the GG's around the places I am at, but that's OK. I don't mind if a couple of people walk past me and one says to the other, "That's a dude in dress!" I just want the other person to reply, "Yeah, but don't he look good in it."

[flatlander_48]

Do we always have to dress to the nines?

Well, the truth is that I'm lazy and will easily settle for eights. Got close to a ten once or twice, but you have to be real careful with that because it can get you arrested...

[5150 Girl]

It is actualy a reality. History records may minorities who were once shunned, and percicutedfor who they were/are... A prime example of this would be early Christions. A more modern exaple woutl be the black community. Need I go on?

[Jeannie]

Hi Kate, I rarely dress up that way although it does feel really good when I do. I mostly dress up with a denim skirt and casual top bare legs and sandals. Sometimes I dress that up a little more by wearing heels and dressier top and occasionally some hose. I don't go out in public at all so there really is no real big reason to get all dolled up and sit at my computer while visiting this forum. The only reason I do is because I have the clothing and I can. It is eye catching to see someone in Walmart all dressed to the nines and they really stand out when they do. They do not blend in when everyone else is in shorts, tank tops, tshirts, some form of exercise clothing, pajamas, jogging shoes or flip flops. I do however completely understand why we do it and as long as that is what you want to do then who am I judge. I say wear whatever you want, where ever you want and don't worry about it. Some may be thinking about you but as long as they are thinking I can't hear what it is they are thinking about so party on girls and show them how it's done.

[Kaz]

It is very cold here at the moment with lots of snow (OK it isn't Canada!) so I am slouching around in jeans and jumpers.... or thick pantyhose and long skirts with boots and oh yeah... jumpers! Do I feel 'femme'... hell yeah!

[allesha10]

I always seem to wear the same skirt and various tops, regardless of the Temperature, But I don't like the way I look in jeans, although tight workout clothes make me feel better.

[Netrixa]

-being a black person,i really prefer this not being compared to race...you can hide your dresses and heels but i can't hide my black skin.just a note on anyone trying to compare the two

[katlee]

For me it is all a mental state, sometimes just tucking with panties is enough.