Suzy on serenity

[suzy1]

I got divorced five years ago. Not because of C.D.ing She never new and if she had found out it would have been disgust, ridicule and instant divorce and she would have told everyone.

But five years of being free to be Suzy has been interesting.
The first year was not that good as I was learning to live my life on my own. I am a born loner so it was not as bad as it can be for some.
Then a bit of a watershed moment came. Yes, I found this forum and you all know what that can do to a girl.:)

Now I live a life of serenity. Quite a word that ‘serenity’ but that’s what life is like for me now.
It was like sliding into a life that fits me perfectly.

I sit here typing on my keyboard in a simple top and skirt, a glass of wine on my desk and feel at peace with the world.

I am not religious but if I were I would think God was saying to me, Suzy, you have had some hard times. Now you get to have some good times and they are going to be very good indeed.

Life is precious, life is good.

Suzy typed this without the help of a screwdriver [the drink]:heehee:

[Michaelasfun]

One of my favorite quotes is "If you think you can, or you can't, you're right"..meaning of course that life is what you make it, and it sounds like you are in a good place, Suzy. Have one for me.

(For the record, I'm sitting here in my pink t-shirt and capri sweatpants, with a peppermint mocha coffee drink with whipped cream) ;)

[carhill2mn]

Hi Suzy,

I, too, have been divorced nearly five years. My being a CD was a part of the reason but there were others also. I very much enjoy being the "lady of the house". I have never had a problem with being alone, especially if I can be en femme.

I now spend more of my time presenting as a woman than as a man. My daughters and husbands "know" but have never seen me and we do not talk about it. My life is much more calm than it used to be.

[Miriam-J]

I'm another one of the five years divorced club, Suzy, but again it had nothing to do with the crossdressing (hidden for same reasons as you). I was determined to explore this side once I was alone and began that process with some interesting explorations. But my lone wolf career was very short as I met my wife just a few months later. Fortunately she was very open to my crossdressing, and has aided my growth through the following years. Discovering this site early last year only accelerated my further growth. As you know, it's amazing the difference five years can make. I feel like an entirely different, and happier, person.

Miriam

[AllieSF]

Yes, I know what you mean. After a longish and good life I have found this side of me and am really enjoying it as I sit here writing this in my paint splattered old pants, multiple sweaters and in my "should be thrown away" very much older tennis shoes after working unsuccessfully on my car.

[Kate Simmons]

And you are precious to us as a friend Suzy. :)

[Danielle_cder]

right on Suzy! I hope we all can be as content:D

[Angela Campbell]

I separated from my wife last summer and our divorce will be complete in a month or so. I know the feeling. Change is not always bad.

[Laura912]

Serenity and serene...lovely words and what are induced, generally, by dressing.

For the record, warm bathrobe and Wild Turkey on the rocks.

[YorkshireRose]

Hey Suzy, sounds like you're in a happy place, good for you. It's nice that you can relax and enjoy your femme side. Take care hon.

Charlotte

[stephNE]

A wonderful post. I'm glad you have found a good place. ...and I wish as much for everyone here on this forum! Steph.

[Leah Lynn]

My separation was not a divorce, but death. I dearly miss her, but I am on a strange journey of discovering who I am as an individual. My wife accepted Leah, to a point. Now, Leah is running rampant, and I intend to let her run.

To properly rephrase that, I am running the show, tolerating that drab dude that lives in me.

Leah, sailing with Captain Morgan

[JadeEmber]

Great to hear :). It's a wonderful place to be.

It's not the same thing, but after eleven years of working rather grueling hours, I'm taking time off to work on my own projects and live that way for a while. Ideally, I'll figure out a way to sustain it as a lifestyle, but it's definitely nice while I can do it.

Hope you can stay with it!

[Lynn Marie]

So many of us CD's are living a miserable life with women that we are hiding things from or whom we are subservient to or whom we just don't like any more. How sad, when a divorce can be so rewarding and peaceful as Suzy so eloquently reveals. I'm also happily divorced for something like 7 years and am also happily living on my own, free to dress and do and go where ever I like when ever I like. Life is very good indeed.

Keep in mind that I absolutely don't recommend divorce when you have kids at home. Kids always come first.

[CassandraSmith]

I always enjoy your posts. Glad life is going smooth. It's good to hear.

xoxo,


Cassy

[rita63]

I have been separated for almost 5 years now, we didn't bother to divorce and are still friends. I have been finding serenity in the last year and a half. Realizing I had to come to terms with my femme side and find out who rita is is a great part of that. Being free to do that has been a gift I have been given. Life is a journey of discovery that never ends but can get richer and more fulfilling if we let it.

hugs rita

[alwayshave]

I too have been divorced for 5 years, although separated for several years before that. My ex would never have understood. She was neither a caring nor a loving person. As a matter of fact she must be the most selfish person I have ever known in my life.

The freedom that I now know to express who I am is wonderful. I do not act on it as much as I should, but that is learned behavior. It's just knowing that I can dress if I choose to that is liberating and peaceful.

[evadan]

Suzy,

Thank you for sharing. I always enjoy hearing from you on the Forum.

Hugs,

Eva D.

[PretzelGirl]

Wow, what was in the water 5 years ago. I feel for each and everyone of you that you had to go through that.

Suzy, I am glad it is working out. No matter what direction life takes us, if you can find happiness, then you are on a good path.

[GaleWarning]

I'm sitting here, gazing out of my window at the falling snow, likewise at peace with the world.
Divorced four years ago. Back on side with the kids and coming to terms with the ex-.
Life is good.

(I trust no animals were harmed during the production of your post, Suzy!)
:hiding:

[kimdl93]

I was divorced quite some years ago, and I had a hard time dealing with being alone for the first time as an adult. I asked my mother, who lived for several decades as a widow, how she dealt with loneliness. She responded that there was a difference between loneliness and solitude. She learned to appreciate the moments of solitude that her life afforded her.

[Kaz]

Great post Suzy, as ever! Not divorced but could have been and could yet happen. She knows but doesn't like to see anything, but she leaves me alone and we have a big enough house to create personal space - not ideal, but I have my serene moments and can imagine where you are!

Sat in black hose, heels, short denim skirt and floppy jumper, watching the snow turn the garden white! Oh yeah, and a cup of tea with ginger biscuits to dunk! Life is bliss!

[Beverley Sims]

If it is not the screwdriver, then it is something in the air.
Smoke.
Just get an ashtray so you don't drop it on the carpet.
I used cigarette papers and rolled pencil shavings in them out of the pencil sharpener when I was at school.
They tell me they use something that looks like dried spinach leaves now.
Yes Suzy, life is good, as long as the floods have gone.

[Rianna Humble]

I have to wonder what good the drink is doing on your desk? Would it not do better inside of you?

[Ariamythe]

You are where I hope to be someday: at peace with myself. Thanks for the moment of inspiration.

[Barbara Ella]

Suzy, my friend, thank you so very much for these wonderfully consoling words at just the right moment. Change can be rough, and is why many of us sit here frozen, not truly enjoying either side. It is wonderful you have found your place and have serenity, as it is for the others here who have gone through what you have, and have found their own good spot. You give hope and vision.

Just remember, there is always a party just around the corner, so keep that wiggle dress cleaned and ironed, and don't run out of orange juice.

Hugs to you dear,

Barbara

PS. still waiting to hear the result of your love affair with that mannequin.

[suzy1]

Suzy, my friend, thank you so very much for these wonderfully consoling words at just the right moment. Change can be rough, and is why many of us sit here frozen, not truly enjoying either side. It is wonderful you have found your place and have serenity, as it is for the others here who have gone through what you have, and have found their own good spot. You give hope and vision.

Just remember, there is always a party just around the corner, so keep that wiggle dress cleaned and ironed, and don't run out of orange juice.

Hugs to you dear,

Barbara

PS. still waiting to hear the result of your love affair with that mannequin.



The Mannequin is still in the widow and is wearing a tiny sparkly party dress but it’s not me.
And how did you know I was wearing a wiggle dress at the moment Barbara?

There have been some lovely comments to my thread. I don’t know what to say.

[abbyleigh001]

I was married 25 years now divorced 26 years for issues unrelated to gender choice ... Former wife never knew...(Never to be married again.).. Sad, however I will never allow the judiciary to meddle into my personal life... A lesson well learned... Life is so much better now... I am no longer conflicted with guilt, denial, purging, acceptance etc... Have accepted my choice of gender and am very happy... Nothing better than living your life as you are most comfortable... Yes, responding to you Suzy and others while dressed in a lovely yellow top and skirt with a wine cooler nearby... The past is long past and life is good... To those of you married I am not advocating my path of life... To each their own...

[Monicamaryjay]

Hi Suzy,

I think what you said really hit home for a few of us here....a sense of self acceptance among like-minded gurls.

I think this site offers a meaningful connection which is difficult to find elsewhere.

I was separated last year and I am spending a lot of time alone disovering what I had repressed for years. I can definitely relate to what you wrote.

Thanks for sharing Suzy,
Monica

[Foxglove]

I was divorced quite some years ago, and I had a hard time dealing with being alone for the first time as an adult. I asked my mother, who lived for several decades as a widow, how she dealt with loneliness. She responded that there was a difference between loneliness and solitude. She learned to appreciate the moments of solitude that her life afforded her.

I like what your mother is saying here, Kim. An important distinction that's good to learn.

And yes, Suzy, it is nice to find peace by being yourself. For one thing, you have to stop fighting yourself--and it doesn't help if you have someone else to fight as well. Glad you're finding those moments. It seems to me you find lots of them, though.

Best wishes, Annabelle