Maybe you wouldn’t want any of your sister’s clothes

[Foxglove]

Honestly, people, sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Sometimes you do a bit of both.

A couple of weeks ago I finally came out to my brother and sister. There was no huge risk for me there. They live in the States, on the other side of the ocean from me. When we were kids, we fought like cats and dogs, but as we got older, we settled down and realized that after all we did kind of love each other. Being so far away from them, I haven’t seen them terribly often in my adult life, and that’s rather sad, but we get along fine when we do get together.

So I had high hopes that they’d be accepting and they haven’t disappointed me in the least. It’s my sister who does most of the communicating, since my brother can’t type, but when I send e-mails, I send them to both of them. We had a lot to say for a few days, then left it for a few days in order to digest everything that was said.

I just got another e-mail from my sister. First of all, she addressed me as “AB”. She explained that calling me “Annabelle” would be very hard for her. I replied that that was perfectly understandable and suggested “AB” as a compromise that I could live with if she could. So she’s taken me up on that.

Then she mentioned again how hard it is for her to get used to all this, and again I replied “No problem.” We’ve got lots of time, and I’ve got a fair bit of adjusting to do myself.

Then she got to the real point of her letter: she’s got lots of clothes she doesn’t need, and would I like to have them? (She and I are virtually the same size, though somewhat different in shape.) She wasn’t sure if I’d want them. Says she, “Maybe this is a bad idea and you wouldn’t want any of your sister’s clothes, but I thought I’d ask.”

You can imagine how much my knees hurt now, I slapped them so hard. I could just see myself reacting with mock indignation: “Of course not! What self-respecting MTF transperson would even dream of putting on his sister’s clothes?”

I took the opportunity to tell her a few things which I intended to tell her sooner or later—how all of us started out with our mother’s and sisters’ clothes. And I apologized to her. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I did try to explain why we did what we did.

But you just want to cry at the same time. That sort of offer represents the deep level of acceptance that we all dream of, and you can imagine how touched I was.

So I went on to explain to her what sort of things I wear and what sort of things I could use. I hadn’t actually told her that “I’m living as a woman” or “I usually wear skirts and dresses.” I wanted to break her in gently, so I said, “I’m living as a transgender person,” and said nothing at all about what I actually wore. But she’d guessed anyway that I’m not wearing pants too often these days.

And finally I said, “So here I am discussing with my sister what of her clothing I might be able to wear. Is it any wonder it’s taking us a bit of time to get used to things? But I’m enjoying myself immensely here. Are you?”

This is the strangest life I’ve ever known.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[kimdl93]

Thats really fascinating. I guess I wouldn't be terribly bothered by wearing my sister's clothes, if that were physically possible. (I'm way too big) But if you two are about the same size, there are likely to be lots of things that would work for you within her things. Its only strange the first time, right?

[Kimberlyfaye]

It's great to hear they are accepting of you. And especially supportive. Your sister sounds like a great woman. I wish Icould have some clothes from a sister. Unfortunately I don't have any sisters :(

But I would personally say take the opportunity. There are probably some clothes you will love. And think of it as a gift if it feels strange.

[Being Paige]

If I had a sister and she was accepting of me then sure why not take her up on her offer, it shouldn't bother you at all.

[Foxglove]

Oh, yes, I'm definitely accepting her offer. For one thing, it might save me a fair bit of time and money.

As for wearing her stuff, it's not like this would be the first time. Whether I'll find it strange or not, we'll see when the time comes. But I don't think it will bother me at all. Thinking about it now, I like the idea. If someone were to say to me, "Such a pretty skirt! Where did you find it?", I think I'd be very happy to answer, "My sister gave it to me." I think I'll enjoy wearing her things as a sign of her acceptance.

When I first gave them the news, she was quite shocked. She had no idea. But she's obviously come a long way in just two weeks. I'm wondering: once she gets used to it, will she like the idea of having a "sister"? She's never had one before.

Annabelle

[LeaP]

I wouldn't care to wear anything from either of my sisters and never did when I was growing up, either. That's just me. Not that it's possible anymore anyway. One is taller, one shorter, both are considerably heavier. I get the point on acceptance, though, and your sister's offer is remarkable.

[Kaz]

I think by accepting her offer you build that bond. Who knows what she is thinking inside, but you have to be positive with this. Sounds like you just deepened the relationship - telling her is a sign of trust. She'll be giving you sisterly girly tips next!

[Beverley Sims]

When offers like that are made I accept them unconditionally and then work it out from there.

[Foxglove]

She'll be giving you sisterly girly tips next!

It's not like I couldn't use a few of those.

[5150 Girl]

I'd be all like, I would love to see what you have, I'm sure there is somthing that I would like.
Or say thanks, I'll pick out waht I like and Goodwill the rest.

[PretzelGirl]

I am torn a little and not by what you are saying you will do but with the hypothetical situation. I would think that by accepting her offer, you would help build her acceptance where turning it down (which you aren't) would be a slap to her olive branch. But if you accept it purely to help her acceptance, I would offer to pay shipping to take away the guilt of accepting something I may not wear.

But it sounds like you have a great first step happening. That is wonderful and considering the way you describe your past and the physical difference between you, it is a great sign.

[Maria S]

My sister would never offer me any of her clothes (not that they would fit). When she found out about me all she said was she wanted a brother not a sister. We don't talk now for a number of personal reasons but I'm sure crossdressing at least plays a small part in it and that my wife can accept it.

Maria

[Laura912]

At times like this one could regret being an only child...

[Lorileah]

AB (Can I call you AB?) :) I can imagine what she has to choose from and while probably very nice, in my case if I had a sister...and coming from middle 'Merica knowing what is daily wear there, I would doubt there would be anything I would want...but then again she may have bought that really pretty dress to wear "someday" :)

On a similar note when my wife and then my GF died, I was charged with going through the wardrobe for donation (mostly). My wife was similar size and I kept about 30% of her wardrobe thinking I "could" wear that someday. I am about (4 years later) ready to give most of that away. Not my style mostly. My Gf was a size 4...nothing she had would ever fit me....well almost nothing (intimates do :)) and it broke my heart to give away the nice dresses and skirts she owned. I did keep a couple things because they had memories. Her style and mine were very similar and often we would buy the same thing in different sizes :) I wish many things (highest is that she was still here) but I often wish I could fit in her stuff.

I hope your sister has things you can use, both for practical and sentimental reasons

[Tashee]

When My first mems of me. I would always have Sis's clothes with me. At this age I knew I had to hide this. But it was normal just the same-??? Turn My Growth spurt into a BiGG lad. I noticed--Ohh Wait-She got married and divorced-So she came back home-I was at her size now-Poor Sis would leave me clothes pushed to one corner-Tho she would never tell me then! Tho in time I figured it out--As I tore her hose! She didn't throw it away just pushed to that corner-Some Xmas or Bday gifts to large, pushed in ((that corner)) A few months ago we did talk-That corner she said was my side of the drawer. That was nice-She said she knew ever since I chased her when I was About 3 yelling ""I Wanna Be A Girl Like You"" This Isn't Fair"" I never knew I said that??

[Cary]

First of all to Lorileah Your reply moved me. I'm sorry for your lost. I was engaged 10years ago to a great woman. She passed in 2003. She was my soul mate. She was very understanding. I miss her alot. Eventhough I loved her style, she was a few sizes smaller. All I kept was a few pictures of her, nothing else. As for my sister, I never even tried on her clothes when we were all kids. I never liked what she wears. AB it sound like you have a great sister who is understanding and wants to reach out. Take the clothes and Enjoy!

[JBPerry]

I only have one brother....so cant really do that..... But, my mom (who does know about me CDing) as well as my younger sister-in-law) have already talked about exchanging clothes. In fact, I have 2 bags of clothes that I am bringing home this summer for my sister in law to try on. We are also going to make a few girls day outs while my wife and I are home.

[Leah Lynn]

Sweet story, Annabelle. Trust and acceptance, what lovely things these be. I have two sisters, one larger and by no means able to cast off any part of her meager wardrobe. However, she is the one that I kind of came out to. The other sister is much slimmer, but could afford to part with a portion of her wardrobe. I could not accept either's castoffs, but would love to have their blessings.

[Maria 60]

Reading your story made my hair on my arm stand, that was so thoughtful of your sister and you now know she is accepting of everything. I will never forget the first time my wife did her spring cleaning and when she was done she came to me and told me everything she didn't want is on the floor, pick what ever I liked and the rest put it in a bag. I never even expected her to ask and I didn't even think of it. The best part was when I was going through the cloths she came to the room and watched me try on her things and telling me what she liked on me and what she didn't, almost like a mini fashion show. If I where you I would feel so flattered that she offered you her cloths, she didn't have to. This story made my day, it's always good to read when something positive happens to our members here and consider yourself very lucky to have a real down to earth sister.

[lingerieLiz]

It really matters if you have similar tastes and all. You will have to work it out. I know women who loan things to each other and others who you would never want to.

When I was young I borrowed clothes as many of us did. When I left home I took my sisters' poodle skirts and pettycoats that they had left behind. As I acquired a full fem wardrobe I did loan a few things to my sisters. My mother became the biggest borrower even though she disapproved but tolerated. If she didn't return it right away I just let her keep it.

What about sister-in-laws? I have two, one of which, I loaned a bra to. She did return the favor to me. We wear the same size.

[Foxglove]

I hope your sister has things you can use, both for practical and sentimental reasons

It may turn out that she has little that interests me. I gave her a pretty good description of what I like, but she may not have much that suits me. Since she's in Kansas, the climate there will be both much hotter and much colder than our good old Irish climate. For that reason alone there may not be much for me. Also, as I explained to her, I'm the modest sort. I don't show much leg--which you would agree is wise if you saw the stumps I have. I tend to wear skirts and dresses that are fairly long.

So I may not get much out of it. But I was extremely touched by the offer.

Thanks to everyone for your nice replies.

Best wishes, Annabelle