I lost the desire to dress

[Diana L]

I have been on hrt with an increasing dose since September. I have noticed my desire and need to crossdress has almost totally gone away. Is this normal?

Diana L

[Marleena]

Yes it's normal. Same thing happened to me along with no more obsessing about being female. My GID is gone for the most part.

[kimdl93]

Marleena mentioned this phenomenon as well. Its interesting. I'm anxious to see how many of you have had similar experiences and how long it lasts.

[Inna]

without internal outlet to express womanhood, crossdressing provides the most basic form of expression, however shallow and truly misguided (womanhood has nothing to do with the choice of style of clothing)

With introduction of HRT and providing that now ESTROGEN rich environment is congruent with birth female brain, equilibrium of emotional content has been achieved in part or in entirety.
One feels as though now, presentation isn't in the forefront but that their internal feeling of being a woman grows in strength and necessity to convey this message to the world had taken a quite different aspect. Now the body we occupy, the AVATAR, becomes the outer shell and needs to reflect ones inner most gender.

Congruency becomes important versus the feeling of charade towards mere expression of gender specific dressing (CDing)

Hence one becomes accustomed to the term TRANSSEXUAL and in time accepts the inevitable.

[LeaP]

Originality becomes important versus the feeling of charade towards mere expression of gender specific dressing (CDing)



I think this is right. There was always some aspect of falseness in my cross dressing. I was driven to it and it provided some relief, but still felt like costuming in several respects. But the feeling of mimicry that was once just a small, nagging feeling at the margins became the feeling of full-on charade once I started HRT.

People seem to wonder at the phenomenon, particularly what it means for their identity. Marleena provided part of the answer in her comment about dysphoria. Mine was not relieved by hormones, despite the loss of interest in dressing. Instead, it became more sharply focused. The phrase I use most often is "body dysphoria." How I feel in my own skin turns out to be the issue (alternatively the primary or root issue), at least for now, and episodic dressing now only serves as a sharp reminder of what I am not. It is worth it for other reasons, but not because it relieves dysphoria.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Never have I heard such a beautiful group of words selected to describe the emergence of female from within. Beautifully said Inna, and a very good description.

[Aprilrain]

At what point in transition is it no longer "crossdresssing"?

I never lost my need to present myself to the world as the woman that I am, hormones had no effect on that.

[Badtranny]

At what point in transition is it no longer "crossdresssing"?

That's an interesting question. Maybe that point is when you're no longer interested in doing it? The first few months I was cross-dressing were very exciting on so many levels. (yes even sexually) I was always looking forward to doing it and it was the whole 9 or nothing. Eventually I just got over it and after about 9 or 10 months I was special occasions only. When did it cease to be cross-dressing? For me it was when I went full-time last May. I felt like as long as I had a male name and was presenting as male at work, than any fem outfits were cross dressing.

[josee]

At what point in transition is it no longer "crossdresssing"?

I never lost my need to present myself to the world as the woman that I am, hormones had no effect on that.

I agree. If anything my desire to present the correct me appropriately dressed has only intensified. I hate wearing anything made for men. But is it still crossdressing? I don't think so. It's just getting dressed now.
It feels more like crossdressing when I have to put my man clothes on and take off my make up to go to work.

The only part that feels a little phony is that I have to use breast forms, beard cover and a little smoke and mirrors to look right. Eventually though I will no longer need those things.

[Kathryn Martin]

One of the questions is when did you begin crossdressing. I never crossdressed in any meaningful way (i.e. three times in 56 years for about 20 minutes each, resulting in complete devastation). When I transitioned I purchased a complete wardrobe and went full time. The day before I threw out every stitch of male clothing I ever owned.

I am not sure you really ever crossdressed April and Misty

[LeaP]

At what point in transition is it no longer "crossdresssing"?

.

I don't know but I can foresee that I will arrive at a point where the clothes will fit, literally and figuratively. There are already aspects of that in play, as in not feeling the need for forms (i.e., regardless of the current state of my physical development).

[ReineD]

Not to put a damper on things, but perhaps you can all educate me. You know that my heart is in the right place.

Several years ago I read a post where someone was given estrogen to "see" if they were TS or not. It was the first I had heard of using hormones for testing purposes and I wondered about the medical ethics of doing such a thing. In the "Ask a MtF Transsexual" sticky, I was told that it is, in fact, common practice. It is a way to eliminate people who believe they may be TS but are not. A CDer will lose interest in dressing, and this will prevent him from making major mistakes down the road.

So if this is true, how to we know the difference between someone who is not a TS after all, and someone who is losing the CDing mask and becoming more female (for lack of a better way to put it)?

[Frances]

One of the questions is when did you begin crossdressing. I never crossdressed in any meaningful way (i.e. three times in 56 years for about 20 minutes each, resulting in complete devastation). When I transitioned I purchased a complete wardrobe and went full time. The day before I threw out every stitch of male clothing I ever owned.

I am not sure you really ever crossdressed April and Misty

I did not crossdress as an adult either before transitioning. Not dressing would mean going naked at this point.

[Inna]

Reine

The introduction of T blocker to a potentially transsexual patient isn't to decipher if they do or do not want to dress, but rather, what is the emotional content of expression. If for instance patient looses the urge to dress and no longer wants to present as a woman at all, then the diagnosis is simple, loss of libido=loss of need to express. However, if patient looses the need to dress in place of much deeper need to express womanhood in very deep and absolute means as well, that at least emotionally they feel more at peace and more calm after T blockers, then diagnosis would be that of a Transsexual nature.

[LeaP]

Not to put a damper on things, but perhaps you can all educate me. You know that my heart is in the right place.

Several years ago I read a post where someone was given estrogen to "see" if they were TS or not. It was the first I had heard of using hormones for testing purposes and I wondered about the medical ethics of doing such a thing. In the "Ask a MtF Transsexual" sticky, I was told that it is, in fact, common practice. It is a way to eliminate people who believe they may be TS but are not. A CDer will lose interest in dressing, and this will prevent him from making major mistakes down the road.

So if this is true, how to we know the difference between someone who is not a TS after all, and someone who is losing the CDing mask and becoming more female (for lack of a better way to put it)?

I don't know what it is used as a test per se. I think it's more that it's used as a confirmation once someone's given the approval to go ahead. I have never heard the version of it having an effect on dressing being an indicator one way or another. What I have heard – and what I was told directly by my own therapist – is that those for whom the hormones are unsuited become very uncomfortable and agitated on them, sometimes confused.

"Interest in dressing" is an interesting concept anyway. Not all of us were ever "interested" in dressing. I went through this phase of trying to accept cross-dressing and throwing myself into it. All that did was send my dysphoria into high gear.

[ReineD]

If for instance patient looses the urge to dress and no longer wants to present as a woman at all, then the diagnosis is simple, loss of libido=loss of need to express. However, if patient looses the need to dress in place of much deeper need to express womanhood in very deep and absolute means as well, that at least emotionally they feel more at peace and more calm after T blockers, then diagnosis would be that of a Transsexual nature.

Thanks Inna, but not everyone dresses for sexual reasons by the time they start HRT. By that time, the emotional bonds to the dressing have been formed and the CDing (for non-TSs or for non-binary folks) has morphed to the non-sexual, especially with middle aged birth males. So how would a person who no longer has any interest in expressing femininity know if they are TS or not? What if they just feel like their regular selves?

If they are not TS, are they not done a disservice by being told that even transwomen have lost the desire to be their feminine selves after they started HRT?

Or, maybe I missed something in the posts. :p



EDIT ... just saw your post too, Lea and thank you for the response as well.

[Frances]

If they are not TS, are they not done a disservice by being told that even transwomen have lost the desire to be their feminine selves after they started HRT?

Or, maybe I missed something in the posts. :p

The point of transition, in my opinion, is becoming one person. There should not a masculine and a feminine self at that point. I think some people skip steps in the therapeutic process or hasten it too much. I am old school though.

[Leah Lynn]

There's long been a standing "joke" (read truism), "At a TG meeting, how do you spot the ones that have transitioned?" They're the ones in Tshirts, jeans and sneakers. Yes, the urge to dress to the nines goes away, and just being takes over.

[Marleena]

If they are not TS, are they not done a disservice by being told that even transwomen have lost the desire to be their feminine selves after they started HRT?

Or, maybe I missed something in the posts.

TS women do not lose the desire to be their feminine selves after starting HRT, at least not from what I've read... BUT if they did CD it loses it's importance, meaning you could wear a burlap bag and still feel female once the HRT does it's job.

[Inna]

In all actuality clinical diagnosis using T blocker is to decipher the emotional content of sexual charge within the experience and not particularly to address weather someone will continue to dress or not. So separating the issue of SEXUALITY from GENDER is at forefront.
Weather someone looses their need to express gender through means of clothing is really non relevant to the diagnosis.

So if someone dressed for many years and then eventually lost need to do so but still feel femininity within, they are then definitely transgender however may not be transsexual or simply are such in denial.
A crossdressing is an act of expression, if someone looses the need they are NO LONGER crossdressers!!!!

If by introduction of T blockers one feels more whole and at peace, then voile, transgender condition is at hand, weather mild or severe dysphoria, or crossdressing or not.
On the contrary, if after T blockers one feels confused and not them selves, the act of projecting sexuality through means of gender expression is at hand, they are a fetishistic whoever.

[ReineD]

OK, thank you everyone. :hugs:

So I guess the underlying discussion should be more about whether HRT has diminished the feeling of being female, rather than talking about whether the desire to dress is gone or not, since as you say, the dressing is incidental.

I was confused because Diana's point was centered on just the dressing and she didn't discuss the deeper feelings.

So my question to Diana is, do you still feel female even though you are not dressing, and if you no longer feel like dressing, then is there any other part of your current situation that is causing you distress?

[josee]

TS women do not lose the desire to be their feminine selves after starting HRT, at least not from what I've read... BUT if they did CD it loses it's importance, meaning you could wear a burlap bag and still feel female once the HRT does it's job.

Could, I feel like a girl even in my boy clothes, but who wants to do that!? :eek:
I mean I am usually wearing jeans and a t-shirt or sweater but when I get dressed to go to church I like to look nice. :cute:

[Anne2345]

In the "Ask a MtF Transsexual" sticky, I was told that it is, in fact, common practice. It is a way to eliminate people who believe they may be TS but are not. A CDer will lose interest in dressing, and this will prevent him from making major mistakes down the road.

I am not quite sure I follow you here, Reine. As for whether HRT is appropriate for any particular person, I have read and been advised the same as Lea has explained.

Obviously, though, it's been well-established that being TS ain't just about the clothes.

Like Misty wrote, I also really used to enjoy what I considered to be crossdressing. And I also was the same - dress to the nines, or not at all.

But the more I have opened up to myself, and worked through my issues over the past two years, the less and less I have enjoyed dressing. Even though I began HRT only about a month ago, I have only "dressed" twice since March 1, 2012.

It's not that I do not enjoy the act of doing my makeup, dressing in female clothing, or wearing jewelry, because I do. I very much enjoy it, actually.

It's that when I see myself all dressed up in the mirror now, I am no longer am able to create the illusion within my mind that my body is that of a woman. I used to see a woman staring back at me when I dressed, and I loved that feeling, however temporary it may have been. I saw her, and she was beautiful to me!!!

Instead, knowing what I know now, and feeling and understanding who I really am, when I "dress," what I see now is a woman cursed with a dude's body who is unsuccessfully attempting to cover her man body. And that hurts. It saddens me. It's just not fair. Not one bit.

But the more comfortable I become, and the more real, authentic, and genuine I allow myself to be, I can see going back to it more often.

Ideally, I would just dress. I love clothing, makeup, and jewelry. I admire and appreciate such things much. And OMG how I hate wearing dull, drab, boring, stupid male clothes day in and day out.

I have said it in other posts, though, and I will write it again. Making the decision to pursue HRT, and thereafter doing it has been the best decision I have made in a long, long time. I wish that I had had the courage to do this long ago, as I should have. Regardless, I feel really good now.

Hell, I did just recently go shopping last week (and dressed, actually - one of the two times since March 1st). But last week, I spent the night dressed with my sister, as the woman that I am (another post unto itself that I have yet to compose).

And now that I mention it, I think that may have much to do with it. Before, when I crossdressed, it was for me, by myself, and it satisfied a need. Now, it's more than just dressing, and not so much about me. Rather, it is more about how I desire to present myself to others, and wish to be seen and accepted by the world - as a woman. And I just don't believe I can do that. Yet.

[Rianna Humble]

At what point in transition is it no longer "crossdresssing"?

I can only speak for my own experience, but the day I started my RLE is the day that I stopped cross-dressing. By then, the only cross-dressing that I had still been doing was to don male clothes for the eight hours in the office (i even went to and fro dressed as myself).

When I'm going out out, I still want to be dressed to the nines - but probably only rate a 5 or a 6 at best :heehee:
If I'm only going out (not out out) then I tend to put on whatever is comfortable and should suit the occasion.

[Marleena]

@ Reine from Anne Vitale regarding HRT as a diagnostic:

15. Is there a diagnostic test, for example, genetic testing, that will let one know if they are gay, lesbian, transsexual or heterosexual?

No. there is no genetic test that can be administered to tell anyone what their sexuality is. That can only be done by honest self examination. Transsexualism, which has nothing to do with sexual preference, is different. We can't do a genetic test, but we can administer cross-sex hormones and see if the individual responds positively or negatively to them. That procedure is routinely done after the individual has had an extensive period of psychotherapy and is fully aware of the consequences. A negative reaction would result in extreme anxiety and discomfort. A positive reaction is one where the individual reports a calming affect. Often described as a feeling of well-being.

[ReineD]

Thanks Marleena. I know there is no genetic testing for transsexuality, although karyotype testing will determine intersexuality. And, as much as an extensive period of psychotherapy is needed do determine the condition, not every therapist is made of the same cloth. Some (not all) pass people through the door based on summary information from the patient, and also not all therapists are equally well trained in gender matters, especially the therapists who are not themselves transsexual.

[TeresaL]

Me too, I lost the desire three months ago when starting Spironolactone. Now I'll go back and read the answers.
----------
I'm not adding a new post because I do not have anything profound to say. i do prefer to listen-in and gather information as I have been doing lately.

Look left, my avatar depicts my "dressed to the nines" cross dressing attire. I go out and do my grocery, clothing, and home accessory shopping dressed similarly.

In my usage, and for me, the term cross dressing is dressing opposite of my birth gender. Although in reversal, if I believe I'm a woman, then male clothing is cd. But for now, I'm meaning opposite my birth gender. BTW, I was born male and karotyping tests bear out that I am indeed not intersex, but male in chromosome type. I KNEW that LOL.

In the Safe Haven section, I titled a thread "gender neutral" in regards to my feelings after being on Spironolactone only, and no estrogen.

BTW, Anne Vitale's book, "The Gendered Self" is a good addition to my library, as Kathryn and Marleena have alluded to.

So if we compare as I add my notes on this, my first round of query for myself is "Just what are my symptoms after taking androgen blockers?

Firstly, I feel a great degree of calmness, and that is the part I want to keep. However, I have no overarching desire to cross dress. Whats left is that as before, cross dressing for me is to fit in and socialize in public. But the urge is not strong anymore, and drab is not as rude. I can run dual mode, woohoo! Makes my now accepting spouse happy to have her husband (visual representative) at night, and me to carry on as female the rest of the time. (Truth is, I am female in male role too, but in mind only). So I don't have to dress at night to be thinking I'm female.

Secondly, I'm left to wonder what my thoughts will be upon starting estrogen. Logically, it will ramp up the female libido, and the inclination to dress the part from a different and opposite perspective than the testosterone-driven nature.
.

[Kathryn Martin]

So if this is true, how to we know the difference between someone who is not a TS after all, and someone who is losing the CDing mask and becoming more female (for lack of a better way to put it)?

Unfortunately hormones are used for diagnostic purposes. I consider this practice in fact unethical, although there is an element in all hormone treatment as it relates to compatibility with the physiology of the recipient which can make or break the treatment. There are different levels of compatibility. The general view is that hormones are taken to transform secondary sex markers and satisfactory outcomes are measure against it. In some cases which are quite rare the treatment will reveal that the recipient has suffered estrogen deficiency for decades and the treatment brings a significant improvement both of mental and especially physical health. Most if not all that fall into this category are transsexual. This is not to be mistaken for the effects of suppressing testosterone as a side effect of anti-androgens like Spironolactone which generally brings a significant calming effect and greater comfort of living. It is in that case a significant life improvement. But it does not signify what Pauly called psycho sexual inversion and therefore transsexualism.

One of the results of lowering the testosterone level is that the desire to engage in the fantasy of "becoming" or "wanting to be" a woman/ more feminine tends to wane because of the calming effects. The sharp edge of testosterone driven fetish and sometimes sexual fetish is blunted by the treatment and the "need" to pursue the fantasy goes away. It is a sure fire sign that the person is not transsexual. It is gender variance in that the desire to dress in a cross gender fashion is a variation on the persons gender experience as male. In the sense meant here fetish has no inappropriate undertones but is simply a reflection of the person actual variance.

It is interesting that most gender fluid persons, i.e. in the sense of third gender really are truly fluid because their location between the genders may be anywhere and lean either way no matter what their birth gender is. It is a true variance. One of the worst barriers for gender variant persons is it's incompatibility with norms. Often among the gender variant striving to be in the binary is driven by these norms rather than self experience.

I believe that the "evolution" from CD to TS is actually utter nonsense. There is no such evolution in fact. In those that are true TS coming online and being flooded with the TG cool aid what they experience may for some time be considered crossdressing and seemingly evolve towards transsexuality. In fact it never was crossdressing.

In those that are true gender variant, social pressures and the TG cool aid consumed in huge quantities pushes them towards a path that is not theirs. If social integration existed, they would simply present and express how they feel and no one would actually care and would embrace it. Because of the current circumstances we have men dressing as women needing acceptance as women but not wanting to have their bodies fixed. They are not women. They are men in need of more space to express themselves. I wonder what is so hard to understand about the concept that women never have penises, 5"(to 12") neo clits or want to pitch in bed (as Jack Molay would say). I have friends who are gender variant and don't want surgery. They love women but are not lesbians no matter how much that claim is necessary to justify their gender expression in a world that cannot understand.

So I guess my answer to your question is: it's easy but terribly complicated because of our social and societal climate. I wish we would spend time and effort making this clear to the public. I wish we would make men's washrooms safe for gender variant men instead of telling women they have to endure men in places that are traditionally for women only. I wish we would unveil the legitimacy of all those gender variant persons and recognize them as the wonderful contributors to our world instead of letting them linger in the shadows.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i never lost my desire to dress on HRT...
i crossdressed my entire life, and HRT did zilch to make me want to stop dressing... my hrt was started 15 months prior to begining a real life experience...i can honestly say from the day i started HRT there was not one moment where i doubted that i was going to transition, although there were many moments where i wondered if i could "go through with it"...

i think its important to separate out the act of presenting female whenyou are male..(Crossdressing) and the act of accepting yourself as a woman and expressing yourself as a female (which is learned over time)

so not feeling up to dressing every day can mean two totally different things...

so to the OP , you have to really drill down to what this means to you...

I don't think losing the desire to get dolled up and dolled down every day means much at all...but if you are losing the need to live your life as a woman that's a pretty big deal

[Badtranny]

So I guess my answer to your question is: it's easy but terribly complicated because of our social and societal climate. I wish we would spend time and effort making this clear to the public. I wish we would make men's washrooms safe for gender variant men instead of telling women they have to endure men in places that are traditionally for women only. I wish we would unveil the legitimacy of all those gender variant persons and recognize them as the wonderful contributors to our world instead of letting them linger in the shadows.

Brilliant. ...and that's all I have to say about that.



I don't think losing the desire to get dolled up and dolled down every day means much at all...but if you are losing the need to live your life as a woman that's a pretty big deal


Wow. I would give one of my testicles to be able to boil such a complicated concept down to one incredibly insightful observation.
...unfortunately I don't have one left to give, but I totally would if I could. ;-)

[Starling]

HRT had the hoped-for effect on me, with no diminution of my need to express; and when I went off it I was able to fully appreciate how wonderful it had been to feel balanced. I want to get back there someday soon.

:) Lallie

[Aprilrain]

What are we talking about here? When we say "lost the desire to dress" are we talking about someone (M2F) who says they have lost the desire to present as a woman, that they are OK with the world seeing them as male? Or are we talking about someone who just isn't feeling up to donning 10 LBS of make up, fake boobs, a wig and a ballroom gown to go to walmart? I think if a person has lost the desire/need to be seen by the outside world as female then that person needs to seriously examine weather transition is right for them. Not feeling up to excessive grooming is a different thing all together. I took the OP to mean that she no longer felt the need to be seen as female by the outside world therefore no longer felt the need to "crossdress" if that is the case and hormones caused this I'd say buyer beware. Just my two cents.

[Marleena]

Marleena mentioned this phenomenon as well. Its interesting. I'm anxious to see how many of you have had similar experiences and how long it lasts.

Kim I can't find the stupid transition website where I read this. It simply meant that you feel "right" and the clothes are not needed to hide the male traits. It's not about losing the sense of self. As I mentioned in my PM I feel *normal* finally although kind of trapped because I'm not really "out" where I live. I really doubt if anybody that followed The standards of care for HRT are not TS. Not sure why the OP is being questioned about that.

[LeaP]

What are we talking about here? When we say "lost the desire to dress" are we talking about someone (M2F) who says they have lost the desire to present as a woman, that they are OK with the world seeing them as male? Or are we talking about someone who just isn't feeling up to donning 10 LBS of make up, fake boobs, a wig and a ballroom gown to go to walmart? I think if a person has lost the desire/need to be seen by the outside world as female then that person needs to seriously examine weather transition is right for them. Not feeling up to excessive grooming is a different thing all together. I took the OP to mean that she no longer felt the need to be seen as female by the outside world therefore no longer felt the need to "crossdress" if that is the case and hormones caused this I'd say buyer beware. Just my two cents.

Great questions, April, and I agree with the sentiment behind your response. If I look back over how things came down for me, however, I could not have answered these questions with any great clarity at several points along the way.

After starting antidepressants and working through the fundamental identity question, the need to dress lessened but did not go away. When I did dress, it felt no different than times prior. And I had never really thought about the distinctions you are making. It simply came from raw need.

When I started HRT, everything came to a screaming halt for a while. Libido. Dressing. Dysphoria. The distraction at work. Any remaining depression. The inner monologue. I woke up daily, literally, thinking I might be good with just the HRT.

This didn't last too long. The first thing to start creeping back in was dysphoria. Unlike my experience throughout life to that point, though, it was sharply oriented around how I view my body. The anxiety, feeling of maintaining a false front, distraction (for the most part), etc. have crept back in a little bit, too – but nothing like before. Libido is also back somewhat, although it has taken a very different form.

The only way I can account for the period of cessation that I experienced is that it produced a vacuum. Perhaps it was due to starting anti-androgens first. Nothing in my adolescent or adult experience prepared me for not being driven by T and not living through my coping mechanisms. I was pretty happy in this state!… But I also felt like sort of a blank slate. Crossdressing, because I tried to suppress it over the years, was breakthrough behavior arising from identity, but a coping mechanism nonetheless in terms of how it functioned psychologically. As a result, its cessation makes perfect sense to me.

With the hormones since the E has really kicked in, there is far more than just calm. It's a renewal, a re-experiencing of my sense of self that has been missing for decades. Things are emerging which are, in one sense, things I had before – but which I am now experienced differently.

Female clothing and presentation is an example. My "crossdressing" pattern, with the exception of a period of months where I tried to just accept that I was a CD, was always one of dress and purge. Every time. This truly was a need to present as female, but I never allowed myself to think in those terms explicitly. The CD period I mention was driven also, in this case by my inability to suppress it any longer. While that produced a brief feeling of freedom to dress that felt (I guess) sort of conventional in a crossdressing sense, it ultimately proved not just hollow, but the trigger to bring the real issue out.

When I've dressed since starting hormones, it has not been driven and has not been to produce the "other" aura of the past. It was to go OUT and openly experience what I am already feeling. I don't know for sure if dressing will become more frequent (probably, though). I may be closer to Kathryn's all-or-nothing pattern (my characterization).

[arbon]

I think if a person has lost the desire/need to be seen by the outside world as female then that person needs to seriously examine weather transition is right for them. Not feeling up to excessive grooming is a different thing all together.

I think that for some people hrt can reduce the GID enough that they can live more comfortably as male without going through all the rest of transition. That's probably a good thing, but does it last?
I had kinda hoped it would for me when I started, but my need to be seen as female never lessened.

[gonegirl]

I think that for some people hrt can reduce the GID enough that they can live more comfortably as male without going through all the rest of transition. That's probably a good thing, but does it last?
I had kinda hoped it would for me when I started, but my need to be seen as female never lessened.

Thanks for asking that sixty four thousand dollar question, Arbon. Can HRT alone be enough?

This is a really enlightening discussion and I appreciate everyone's contribution.

Mac.

[Jessica86]

Never have I heard such a beautiful group of words selected to describe the emergence of female from within. Beautifully said Inna, and a very good description.

I couldn't understand any of it. It is all presented in a block of words that nobody can understand. Also, just one big run on sentence. Why not just say this is because the "inner you" is now the "outer you". This means lower desire to dress.

[Diana L]

I started this thread and I am surprised a simple question has generated such a discussion. So far hrt has been a life changing event for me. The lack of desire to crossdress is really a minor thing. What is important is how I feel. My wife says I am much calmer. For the first time in my life I feel comfortable in my own skin. I am happier than I have ever been yet I am very sad because I will lose the one I love by going down this path. It is a double edged sword.

Diana L

[Rianna Humble]

I'm glad that HRT has made such a difference to your life, but I would urge you to explore with your therapists and/or doctors whether, as Arbon has suggested, this might mean that your Gender Dysphoria has been reduced to the extent that you don't actually need to go through the whole transition thing at this time.

I'm not sure where that would leave your relationship with your wife though.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

thats great to hear diana

the "being" part is more important than anything else, especially the dressing the part..

[Traci Elizabeth]

Trying out HRT to see if you are trans? Crazy!

[ReneeT]

I felt like as long as I had a male name and was presenting as male at work, than any fem outfits were cross dressing.
I don't take such a stark approach for myself. Wearing female clothes ceased being "crossdressing" at the point i realized and accepted that I am a transexual AND began the process of transitioning. As of today I still have a male name and present at work as a male, but i am proceeding on a path that will change that (in 140 days from now). The only time i feel like i am crossdressing is when I wear mae clothes, and there is NOTHING stimulating about that!

[ReneeT]

That's an interesting question. Maybe that point is when you're no longer interested in doing it? The first few months I was cross-dressing were very exciting on so many levels. (yes even sexually) I was always looking forward to doing it and it was the whole 9 or nothing. Eventually I just got over it and after about 9 or 10 months I was special occasions only. When did it cease to be cross-dressing? For me it was when I went full-time last May. I felt like as long as I had a male name and was presenting as male at work, than any fem outfits were cross dressing.


Trying out HRT to see if you are trans? Crazy!


Really? How so? It's actually accepted medical practice and makes some sence biologically and psychologically

[josee]

I don't take such a stark approach for myself. Wearing female clothes ceased being "crossdressing" at the point i realized and accepted that I am a transexual AND began the process of transitioning. As of today I still have a male name and present at work as a male, but i am proceeding on a path that will change that (in 140 days from now). The only time i feel like i am crossdressing is when I wear mae clothes, and there is NOTHING stimulating about that!

I could have said almost the exact same thing. Twins!:hugs:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i know some disagree but I am a huge fan of carefully trying HRT to help evaluate your own trans feelings..

i started HRT "not knowing" for sure...and it helped cement my mind in a very good way..

sure it has health risks but that is a matter of good medical monitoring and your own risk/reward...

i do tend to think that if taking HRT, including t blockers somehow decreases your need to transition that you should get real serious about not transitioning... in my personal experience the people that took HRT all wanted to transition more

[ColleenA]

As of today I still have a male name and present at work as a male, but i am proceeding on a path that will change that (in 140 days from now).

Renee, I just want to interject that every time I see you cite your countdown to the on-the-job transition, I am reminded of the old (and sexist) Yiddish proverb: Man plans and God laughs. :doh:

In other words, it's all well and good for you to have your timetable, but I hope you're prepared in case circumstances require a change to the timing. After all, God may have a different plan for you. She's like that. :heehee: