I saw one of us at the mall today

[phelicia]

I was at my local mall today just walking for exercise, trying to keep my girlish figure, when out of the corner of my eye I see one of our kind, a CDer!!! She was dressed very nice and most people wouldn't give her a second glance as not being a woman but I could tell she was one of us. I was so excited for some strange reason, maybe because I feel its like a secret society with limited members, I don't know. Anyway, I'm in total guy mode as I always am in public, baggy jeans, t shirt and sporting a beard, no signs of femme unless I take off my shoes and socks and show everyone my pink toe nails. So I follow her for a while and I want to just say something like 'I'm part of the gang too, its great to see you out here'. I ride Harley's and when you pass another biker on the road you always give them a wave because they are part of the club, that's how I felt when I saw her at the mall today, I just wanted to give her a wave but couldn't cause I'm affraid to wear my true 'secret society' colors in public

[Eryn]

That is a considerable dilemma. We're a secret society that is so secret we can't acknowledge each other at all! No secret handshake, no password, no nothing.

I'm never completely sure that a person I see is a CDer. Some may show characteristics, but then again many genetic women share the same characteristics. I think that the best response is to just treat the person as you would any woman. If you are in drab, open the door for her. You'll make her day! :)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Be careful when following someone, even if you mean well. As someone who is out and about in women's clothes on a regular basis, I always try to remain somewhat aware of my surroundings and if someone is following me it can definitely be a bit frightening.

Also consider that if she feels that she's passing well, it might not make her happy to know that she's been read. My suggestion is to just greet her with a warm smile if you cross paths in that direction. Keep in mind too that when you pass another Harley rider on the road you're both riding Harley's. If you were out dressed and you two ended up at the same mall, a wave or nod might be more appropriate.

[Pearl]

i had a unique experience this evening, still kind of wound up from it. i have been crossdressing for about 3 months, and this evening my girlfriend and i met with a group of other crossdressers at a theater. i wasn't dressed, but most of them were, and i found myself happy about being able to talk in public with them. i have seen other crossdressers in public in the last couple of months, and i felt too shy to say hello at the time. i may get over my shyness about it, especially after my evening. on the other hand, maybe not. i'm pretty shy about most people, not just crossdressers.

[DanaR]

i had a unique experience this evening, still kind of wound up from it. i have been crossdressing for about 3 months, and this evening my girlfriend and i met with a group of other crossdressers at a theater. i wasn't dressed, but most of them were, and i found myself happy about being able to talk in public with them. i have seen other crossdressers in public in the last couple of months, and i felt too shy to say hello at the time. i may get over my shyness about it, especially after my evening. on the other hand, maybe not. i'm pretty shy about most people, not just crossdressers.

Engaging a group of crossdressers in a conversation would be different than seeing one that is out on her own. It would almost as awkward as just walking up to a stranger and starting to talk to them, it might not be received well.

[bridget thronton]

I think a smile and polite treatment is plenty (like the suggestion to open the door if the opportunity is there)

[phelicia]

Engaging a group of crossdressers in a conversation would be different than seeing one that is out on her own. It would almost as awkward as just walking up to a stranger and starting to talk to them, it might not be received well.

I had NO intentions of saying anything to her. If I was out in public, by myself and dressed as Phelicia, I would be FREAKED OUT if anyone came up to me, whether it be a guy, girl, CDer or an alien! I was really just happy to see her out shopping wishing I could muster up the strenght to do the same

[JenniferR771]

Ask her what time is it? And then say, "Do you know where I could find the MAC store? My name is Jennifer. Cute shoes. Could I ask where you got them?"

[Beverley Sims]

All you can do is smile like you do with other GG's.
If you get a response it would be unusual to say the least.

[Pearl]

Engaging a group of crossdressers in a conversation would be different than seeing one that is out on her own. It would almost as awkward as just walking up to a stranger and starting to talk to them, it might not be received well.
i agree, i might be uncomfortable if someone approached me in the same situation.

[NathalieX66]

We exist.....in small numbers, maybe, but we are out there.

Last week, it was Willowbrook Mall in northern NJ in full femme mode, then onto getting some tasty-junky fast food at a Sonic Drive In nearby, where the teenage waiter on Rollerblades didn't seem to notice, or care that I was in full girl mode. I LOVE Sonic.....it's a sick obsession.

[Barbara Ella]

It is a cruel position we put ourselves in. I would not want to be called out unless someone came up to me and said, Hi Barbara, i recognize you from CD.com,and want to say hi. BUT. If I was in drab i might cold **** him....lol

Barbara

And i kinda think coldcock is not a censorable offense......

[IngeInCO]

I think a smile and polite treatment is plenty (like the suggestion to open the door if the opportunity is there)

I do agree!
Do you ever walk up to another person and talk at the mall? "Hey Dude...nice hat...you like the royals too?

[TeresaL]

I've seen a few MtF in public. Can't always be sure. One was shopping in Kohl's while I was en-femme as well. But I didn't want outed to find out, and I'm sure she didn't want outed either, so I just kept shopping. It's very awkward.

Maybe it's like this; I think I blend, she thinks she blends. We both of course, know each other is MtF, but we won't spoil it because we don't want disappointment in any case. So we both pass!

[Wildaboutheels]

Clearly you have succumbed to one of the [way too] many popular Forum MYTHS perpetuated here on a regular basis....

That one can simply observe another Human and w/o ANY kind of interaction with them at all, decide beyond any shadow of a doubt whether they are male or female. Even IF one talks with another person, voices can be deceiving.

Even IF you were to offer some type of genuine compliment with your best smile to someone you THOUGHT was a CDer...

There are some members here who might/would take it as a genuine compliment if it was THEM you encountered. Others would certainly take ANY compliment in public as "I've been busted". Might be their last trip out in public for quite a while.

GGs come in all shapes and sizes and deciding that one is really a CDer might have adverse consequences.

Then again, maybe you were 100% sure?

Not a risk I would take unless THEY do the approaching and/or attempt to break the ice.

[Ozark]

In the grocery line, a young boy tells his mtoher that's a man dressed in women's clothes. The mother hushes the son. I turn and tell the mother 'that's ok. a lot of people make the same conclusion. YOur son wasn't thefirst, he won't be the last."

[krisinpink]

this is a difficult one to do the right thing on.

One one hand, we'd love to expand our circle of dressing friends, so a greeting seems like it'd be wonderful. On the other hand, I know I'd be a wreck if someone approached me while I'm out dressed...being read, being 'called out' (even if done so in a friendly manner) would be devastating.

Alas, it is best to let those T*girls we've yet to meet or to be introduced to simply be left to their shopping w/o interruption. Much as we may be well meaning, and as much as even I wish making such an approach would be well received, we simply mustn't do that to unsuspecting dressers.

(heck, I'd be freaked out even if dressed in drab if someone approached me & began speaking to me about dressing while we're both standing in the shoe aisle! --If I were approached in this way while dressed, I'd have a heart-attack!)

[Kate Simmons]

Just one? We're slipping Hon. I always know when I come in close proximity with another CDer and it has nothing to do with the way they look or any secret sign. I'm empathic and I can sense their feelings and their relative ease or nervousness.By no means does this make me anyone special. This is a natural ability we all have if we choose to develop it. :)

[dana 1]

What ever happened to the rubber band signal, just flash the band and they would know you are one of them.

[RenneB]

When I'm fully engaged in people watching, I'm checking for fashion, color coordination, posture, and manerisms... For the most part, 90% of the people GG and GM aren't worth watching. That is unless I'm looking for the lastest in trashy flip flops and sweat pants... Heck most of the time, I couldn't tell if there were really GG or GM...

Ahhh but the 10% of GMs and GGs and the occasional CDrs that do care what they're wearing and what they look like, I do take note.

Would I ever go up to them and say, hi that's a nice outfit you're wearing, where'd you get it? naaa.

As another poster said, what if you did 'flash the CD symbol' and it turned out your were wrong? What then. It's just a GG with male features... I've seen my share believe me...

Renne.....

[Nicole Erin]

Someone posted a while back about a similar experience and then it was chimed in - "just walk up, smack her on the butt and say "wazzup, tranny?" Many beautiful friendships begin this way.

For real tho - now and then I see CD or TS women out and about. I don't really bother them, I just kind of think, "Ahh cool"

Gyod one time I was at DOTS and another TG came in and she was like loud, drag queen like. I kind of smiled and thought, "Wow, dat hoe ain't got NO shame!"

[rocketscientist]

Everyone has different comfort levels. You need to be able to gauge those you see to determine whether or not they may be approachable. If they seem furtive and unsure, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to approach them. If they exude confidence and look people in the eye, then maybe a well timed compliment would break the ice. Myself, if you see me out and about don't be afraid to say hello. I welcome contact when I am out in public. If I can educate just one person and destroy any pre-conceived ideas of what cd's are about then I will consider my outing successful. However, your mileage may vary! Hugs,Tonya

[joanna4]

That's nice. I would love to talk to them as well, if we were the shopping environment. I've been out a few times and to put myself in their shoes,yes, I would be very nervous and scared.