Inna
01-15-2013, 01:24 PM
Why did I do it?
I have been through the transition for past 4 years 2 of which were the most intensive physical and psychological transformation, but honestly I have been in it for my entire life.
For those who know my story, can agree that I am one of those girls who want to understand, in the utmost detail, the mechanism of transgenderism, transsexuality and most of all, why I did commit to this most remarkable yet extreme measures of becoming.
Lately I have reached understanding which not only has real life foundation but as well makes sense to me.
For my entire life, literally until several months ago, I was LOST!!!
Feeling of being an outsider, someone who does not quite know or does feel awkward in navigating life’s heels and valleys.
I NEVER BELONGED!!!
Of course I was loved, but such never felt like love, only until lately was I able to experience love with my newly opened eyes. I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I CAN SEE!
Why did I transition?
To find solstice amongst living and comfort in my own place within this world.
I finally fit!!!
Simple words spoken daily, “yes MAM, may I halp you MAM, oh MISS!!!”
How few ridiculously non dynamic words can make so much difference that I have risked my life and love of others, to achieve this peace.
Oh, yes, these are the most powerful words which in time shall loose the luster and might, but for time being they quench my thirsty soul in cool refreshing happiness.
But more so, I feel I BELONG! I am seen as I am and always were, a girl doing girl’s things.
So it was as much about my internal self, but this self is inevitably attached to the world surrounding me, like an ocean of wonder to navigate my direction.
I did transition as much for my self as I did for the others in whom my self reflects. In their eyes looking at me, telling, I KNOW YOU, I SEE YOU!
I have been through the transition for past 4 years 2 of which were the most intensive physical and psychological transformation, but honestly I have been in it for my entire life.
For those who know my story, can agree that I am one of those girls who want to understand, in the utmost detail, the mechanism of transgenderism, transsexuality and most of all, why I did commit to this most remarkable yet extreme measures of becoming.
Lately I have reached understanding which not only has real life foundation but as well makes sense to me.
For my entire life, literally until several months ago, I was LOST!!!
Feeling of being an outsider, someone who does not quite know or does feel awkward in navigating life’s heels and valleys.
I NEVER BELONGED!!!
Of course I was loved, but such never felt like love, only until lately was I able to experience love with my newly opened eyes. I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I CAN SEE!
Why did I transition?
To find solstice amongst living and comfort in my own place within this world.
I finally fit!!!
Simple words spoken daily, “yes MAM, may I halp you MAM, oh MISS!!!”
How few ridiculously non dynamic words can make so much difference that I have risked my life and love of others, to achieve this peace.
Oh, yes, these are the most powerful words which in time shall loose the luster and might, but for time being they quench my thirsty soul in cool refreshing happiness.
But more so, I feel I BELONG! I am seen as I am and always were, a girl doing girl’s things.
So it was as much about my internal self, but this self is inevitably attached to the world surrounding me, like an ocean of wonder to navigate my direction.
I did transition as much for my self as I did for the others in whom my self reflects. In their eyes looking at me, telling, I KNOW YOU, I SEE YOU!