Thinking about going out for the first time.

[SexyErica]

Ok here my dilemma.I have been how should I say this "partially" dressing since I was very young by that I mean when I get a chance to be alone it's a dress,heels,pantyhose and that's it. I've never had the desire for makeup or a wig that is until now.I've recently gotten a sting urge to go full femme and go out in public don't know why the change but what can a girl do.My concerns are as follows
1 I have no experience with putting on makeup.
2 My body size and shape do not lend themselves to make me passable.(6'1"&300lbs)
So here's my question.As long as I'm comfortable with going out knowing I will never pass do others in the CD community get offended by me doing so? I don't want to make it harder for others who are trying to pass or be accepted in society by me going out looking mostly like a man in a dress

[Shelly Preston]

Erica, Women come in all shapes and sizes so we all make the best of what we have.

You should practice with make up first before going out.

The best tip I would give you is keep it simple dont try to over complicate things and try to a acheive a more natural daytime look. Dressing the way other women you age do will go a long way to helping you too

[NicoleScott]

So here's my question.As long as I'm comfortable with going out knowing I will never pass do others in the CD community get offended by me doing so? I don't want to make it harder for others who are trying to pass or be accepted in society by me going out looking mostly like a man in a dress

Erica, you should do what you think is best for you.
How does it help the CD community (whatever that is) if you go out looking like a woman in a dress?

[Julie Denier]

Erica -- I can't speak to being passable in public, as I don't go out. But as a gal about your size (6-2 and currently 287, down from 360), I've found that I convey a better femme image than I thought possible for a tall, fat dude. I'm having fun with dressing and practicing with makeup when I can, and just enjoying wearing dresses and heels.

[Erica Marie]

So Erica, you claim you are too big to dress and go out? If they make womens cloths that fit you, then I guess you are not too big. Go casual, blend in for the venue you want to go to. As far as make up, I too have no real nack for it, again go light. A little eye shadow, lips gloss instead of lipstick and light on the powder enough to cover any facial hair shadow if you are concerned. Biggest thing, be confident and be yourself.

[DanaR]

I would find a crossdressing group, where you can go and meet others like us. When I first went out, to an Emerald City (Seattle) meeting, it was a scary thing for me to do. But it was one of the best decisions that I ever made. Everyone that I met, was so nice that I joined the group. What you will find is people like yourself that are accepting of others. If you are looking for help, most groups have lists of resources that will help you.

When I first went to their meeting, I dressed in jeans, sweater, light makeup and a wig. I figured if something went wrong I could transfer back into guy dress fairly quick; which didn't happen at all. Check out for local groups and be careful.

[Jenniferathome]

There is no club and you have no obligation to work for the club that does not exist.

If you are comfortable, go out. Practice with make up first. YouTube is a great resource.

Have fun

[stephNE]

Jennifer is right, there are quite a few videos on Youtube, showing how to apply makup, and how to get different effects.

[Jenniferathome]

So Erica, you claim you are too big to dress and go out? If they make womens cloths that fit you, then I guess you are not too big.

Perfectly stated!

[VickkiSummers]

As a plus size gal myself I know you can do it. I go out dressed all the time and I am a confidant girl when I do.

[Beverley Sims]

It is not really how we feel but are you comfortable presenting only being half way there.
When you do you may be open to a few stares and feel uncomfortable yourself.
Even with a bad makeup job you would appear better than no makeup at all.
Practice wearing a wig and a little powder on the face, just a minimal amount can do wonders.
Pair of jeans A or B cup bras and a nice top. Skirt or dress if you prefer.
Neat shoes and away you go.

[PaulaQ]

I would suggest that anyone who is self conscious about how they look go to their local Walmart store on any afternoon, and just do some people watching. Look at the women who enter and leave the store, really look at them. You will notice that many very unattractive people enter and leave the store. I'm still not good at this, and I'll likely never pass, but I feel I could already look better than some of the women I see at the walmart.

Anyway, I think if nothing else, the exercise will show you that the bar is a lot lower than you might otherwise expect.

Trust me on this - if you are capable of locomotion on your own legs, you aren't too heavy.

[Lynn Marie]

So here's my question.As long as I'm comfortable with going out knowing I will never pass do others in the CD community get offended by me doing so? I don't want to make it harder for others who are trying to pass or be accepted in society by me going out looking mostly like a man in a dress

Hi Erica, just asking the above question shows you to be a thoughtful and caring person. That's pretty classy. Next time you're at the mall, see if you can find an attractive woman in a similar size to yourself. See if you can emulate what she does to maximise her assets and minimize her less than perfect features. Practise a little and go for it. Take a friend with you if at all possible. Do not ever watch people's faces for their reactions. Hold your head up high, own the place, and walk confidently ahead knowing you look terrific.

[Wildaboutheels]

"I've recently gotten a sting urge..." I'm guessing you mean strong urge? Do you know WHY all of a sudden? Is it from reading here? You've built up the courage to do so? Are you sure it is something you want to do or maybe simply feel you need to do to "progress"?

Regardless, women come in every shape and size imagineable, at least here in Florida. No matter how well you "present" when going out, I think you'll find that if you treat other people the same way you want to be treated, they'll reciprocate, at least to your face and that's all one can ask for. What they might say behind your back you have NO control over so it's not worth fretting over as SO many here do.

[PaulaQ]

I guess I'd also add that what strangers think really doesn't matter, and that you can get used to odd looks. I can't speak to that as a CD, but I've been handicapped for my entire life, I walk funny, and some people really notice this. I spent many years raging over this. I hated being treated differently. Eventually though, I stopped caring and even stopped noticing. I don't see why this is much different, other than it has, perhaps more social implications in some people's minds.

[SexyErica]

It is not really how we feel but are you comfortable presenting only being half way there.
When you do you may be open to a few stares and feel uncomfortable yourself.
Even with a bad makeup job you would appear better than no makeup at all.
Practice wearing a wig and a little powder on the face, just a minimal amount can do wonders.
Pair of jeans A or B cup bras and a nice top. Skirt or dress if you prefer.
Neat shoes and away you go.

Beverley, I recently posted some pics in the picture forum of my second attempt at makeup and wig. Also the outfit I was thinking about wearing. Chech them out and let me know what you think.

[VickysBFF]

Hi Erica: Two things.... Firstly, see if there is an esthetician or makeup artist in your area who could do your makeup. I went to a salon to have my hair styled and makeup done before I went out for the first time. The cost was reasonable and the results were fantastic. I also learned a lot about what products work best for me.
Secondly, as far as how your appearance reflects on the "CD Community" as it were, as long as you are decently dressed (not exposing any "naughty bit" or anything along those lines) you will be fine. The main thing that reflects on our community is behavior. As long as you are not drunk, screaming, breaking things, causing a scene, etc. then you will be fine.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that you enjoy your time out.

[Angela Campbell]

Erica, it is all about how you feel as to whether or not you go out. If you do not feel like you pass well enough then learn some makeup techniques, and get some nice clothes and get comfortable with your look first. There are no rules, we are all doing something that most will not approve of. Will it hurt other CD's or TG's if you go out ....well why would it? It would never offend me. I can't speak for others but you should do what you feel comfortable with.

I felt the same way not too long ago. I decided to do something about it. I lost a ton of weight, learned makeup, got a great wig, nice clothes, some body shaping and practiced, practiced and practiced. I joined a group and met with them and soon I was going out in town with them and having the time of my life.

[linda allen]

If you're 6' 1" and 300 lbs, the key is to dress like a 6' 1" and 300 lb woman. That means no mini skirts, heels, or flashy makeup. Go out and observe how larger women dress and then copy them.