I Should Have Complained-Now I Want to Kick Myself

[ArleneRaquel]

Circa 2004,I needed new eyewear and I decided to go to a national chain, which I had purchased many pairs of male frames. This time I decided thatI wanted a female pair, but the SA refused and I left the office with a pair of male frames. I shoud have complained & demanded, at least a look at the female frames that were available. Afte this purchase I have never returned to that chain since this event.

It was around this time I had decided to live as a female as close to 24/7 as possible, but I decided to go to the optical store dressed as male. Right after I had left the store I was so mad, mainly at myself, for being such a wuss and my standing up for my rights as a paying customer. Maybe I'm just becoming an old
(65) lady.

[Julogden]

If it was in Cook County, she violated the law, as Cook County made trans-discrimination illegal in (I think) 2002, so the SA was taking a significant chance by refusing your request, but at this point, it's a moot point. Don't let it bother you, Arlene, we all have had moments of self doubt.

Carol

[ArleneRaquel]

If it was in Cook County, she violated the law, as Cook County made trans-discrimination illegal in (I think) 2002, so the SA was taking a significant chance by refusing your request, but at this point, it's a moot point. Don't let it bother you, Arlene, we all have had moments of self doubt.

Carol

Carol, it was in Cook County, in Chicago at around Milwaukee-Irving-Cicero, but that's ancient history now. Thank you for your comments. HUGZ !

[darla_g]

thats why mail order places like Zenni Optical are so great . send them the prescription and order whatever frame you want.

[ArleneRaquel]

thats why mail order places like Zenni Optical are so great . send them the prescription and order whatever frame you want.

darla,
Very true darlin. HUGZ ! :)

[Eryn]

thats why mail order places like Zenni Optical are so great . send them the prescription and order whatever frame you want.

And, at about a third to a quarter of the price of a chain like Lenscrafters.

They're feeling it too. I took my daughter to get her eyes examined there and said that she didn't want to get the prescription filled at that time. A second salesperson jumped in to show us "affordable" styles. Even their "afforable" stuff was triple the price of Zenni.

Arlene, don't poison yourself by worrying about what happened eight years ago. Look forward to doing the things that please you in the future.

[ArleneRaquel]

Eryn,

Thanks hon, I will move on, but I will promise myself to always be proud of who & what I am. HUGZ !

[Beverley Sims]

I agree that you have to live the moment to understand why you sometimes do not stand your ground.

[Debra Russell]

Did they understand WHY you wanted womens frames? I did the same at lenscrafters - the SA was puzzeled and ask if I knew they were womens frames, I said yes I knew that and they were thats what I wanted. After about the third time I reaffirmed that was my choice it was OK with him -- They just want to make sure your going to pay for them and no mistake was made. no embarrassment -- really just a puzzeled look and ..well Ok. .......................................Debra

[~Joanne~]

Arlene, The past is the past hon but I can understand your regret. Seeing that this took place some 8 years ago, why not schedule an appointment to get your eyes checked again. You may need a different prescription by now and you will have the chance to get the frames you want. This time stay firm ;) At the very least, you'll know exactly what your prescription is and can order them proper online.

[ArleneRaquel]

Debra,
I told the clerk that I wanted female frames, he mumbled something, and as best that I remember I made a face, of surprise,I guess, and went along with his decision. I know that I should have been more outspoken, at least this chain has not had the benefit of business. If they had been decent I would recommend them, by name, here and other sites where I post about my CD life. It was not Lenscrafters. Thank you hon,

[ArleneRaquel]

Arlene, The past is the past hon but I can understand your regret. Seeing that this took place some 8 years ago, why not schedule an appointment to get your eyes checked again. You may need a different prescription by now and you will have the chance to get the frames you want. This time stay firm ;) At the very least, you'll know exactly what your prescription is and can order them proper online.

Joanne,
About six months ago I had my eyes checked and the new prescription was only slightly different from my previous perscription and I ordered femmy frames online, about a week ago I order two new pairs online. HUGZ darlin...thank you for the input. I guess that I have a female eyewear fetish. When I was first fitted with glasse, circa 1959, I wished that I could wear ladies frames as even then I saw that female frames had a great future as a fashion accessory as this was the time that I was very seriously considering living my adult life as a woman. I went nearly 24/7 starting in 2003, then a short detour, and back to it in mid 2004.

[ArleneRaquel]

I agree that you have to live the moment to understand why you sometimes do not stand your ground.

I was just a weakling, I have gotten stronger since that event. HUGZ

[Julogden]

Carol, it was in Cook County, in Chicago at around Milwaukee-Irving-Cicero, but that's ancient history now. Thank you for your comments. HUGZ !
Six Corners, a very familiar area to me! When I lived on the NW side, I bought my hosiery in the Sears at that intersection, and Custom Wigs is just a block north on Milwaukee. I also used to buy lots of computer, music and fashion magazines, also the Transgender Tapestry magazine in a wonderful magazine shop, City News Stand, on Cicero, across the street from Sears. :)

[VickysBFF]

Arlene: Don't feel bad. Many years ago (long before I ever dressed) I was shopping for new glasses and selected a pair of frames to try and the technician strongly spoke against them saying that they were girl's frames. I just liked them and did not know that they were. I let myself be talked into other frames that I did not really care for.
Years later I got my first pair of female frames by sending my SO to the optician with my prescription and she selected the frames for me.
Today, if I needed new frames I would just go to the optician en femme.
You live and learn.