What is Maculinity or Femininity?

[UNDERDRESSER]

In the general population ( Western societies, mostly US ) Masculinity is seen as being strong, in control of emotions, being somewhat...plain. Femininity is seen as being emotional, less organized, displaying ones body, being visibly sexy, being colorful...etc

There are other facets of course, you all know them.

Point is, who decides? Yes, that's what media shows us, that's what most accept, but how did it get to this? How healthy is it? Should we not be a little "softer" as guys? I am fortunate in my workplace, guys are very accepted as being more demonstrative than elsewhere, hugs are common, ( even somewhat laughingly between guys! ) But I know of places where such behavior can provoke violence.

I have thought of my preferences in clothes as expressing a feminine side, but I'm beginning to reject that. I'm not trying to ape a female figure, but I want to display my body, and I want to do that wearing some stuff that isn't normally sold as male attire. I've had comments from some girls on my legs while wearing shorts, and I love it! I'm certain that I'd get even more positive comments in a kilt, and if allowed, a skirt as well. Does that mean I'm feminine? I don't think so. I think it's being brought home to me by the number of females at work who are into very physical activities. Several of them could kick my butt. ( My GF does on the bike regularly. )

This is rambling a bit, can't seem to express my thoughts clearly.

If you are not into trying to pass, but just like wearing the clothes, does that alone make you feminine?

[Kate Simmons]

Nope, it just makes you yourself. Being comfortable with who you are and how you wish to present should be the important things. We are not a "this, that or the other thing" simply because we choose to dress a certain way. A lot of the impression is in the eyes of the beholders as well. My one rule for friendship is to just always be yourself, in any case, regardless of who that "self" happens to be. :)

[genevie]

Try taking one of those personality tests that look at your female and male views and feelings. I come out more female than male. But I don't always want one role in life. I love textures and silky feelings against my skin. I want to make love to a woman as a man. But I'd also like to try a more woman on woman experience. I don't always feel like one thing, but a combination of things and people and roles. We aren't all anything. Once I realized this, I felt much happier. There is lots for you to think about. Enjoy the journey. You can be you. And tomorrow you can change your mind and be a different you.

[Jessica Who]

Well, we all know how society (in general) feels about those terms. I think it's up to us as individuals to define them for ourselves or you could just leave the labels by the wayside :)

[Netrixa]

-I myself am a biological female, though according to society, my personality and tendencies makes me gender fluid. The only difference between he and she is what's between your legs, the rest is social construct. Far as crossdressing, I do not change behavior according to how I dress...I've been called a dyke regardless .as for crossdressing, I find it lovely, and wish to acquire a full male wardrobe.even though my girlish fave and huge breast make me unpassable however, I wonder about other crossdressers /transgendered people...your idea of what gender is comes from societal ideals. While you may believe you feel like a woman, you don't have the true woman experience, in part being seen as lesser, overtly sexualized, expected to fail and be defensless, be subserviant to men .we tread careful yo make men falsely believe in their own superiority to keep them happy.something to think about...

[KellyJameson]

There is feminine and masculine in every single person to varying degrees. It is difficult to imagine a specific behavior that would belong to only one gender and not the other.

It is a blending of shared behaviors and all these behaviors belong to both genders if they are not confined by biology.

Even with biology a male can lactate so even the body can be pushed beyond its usual behavior.

The difference is that the masculine and feminine are predisposed to certain behaviors over others.

The behaviors come out of something else which are two opposing energies that make up a dualistic relationship that are held in tension inside the person.

One energy is active and "acts on the world" and the other is reactive so reacts to the world acting on them.

The two energies affect the relational experience the person has with life such as introvert versus extrovert.

Same with human biology where the vagina receives but the penis penetrates and you see these two energies expressed sexually with submissive and dominant but the female can be the dominant and male submissive so it goes beyond the body and into the person.

Some people are extreme expressions of only one energy and the other one is almost entirely absent.

When it is the energy usually best expressed or found in females but you find it in the male than his behavior is labelled as feminine because what he is and does is associated with feminine energy but the female does not have exclusive claim to this energy anymore than the male has exclusive claim to its opposite.

The energy you express is called feminine but it is not feminine but only found in greater supply in the female and it is this energy that leads you to liking the comments about your legs. This energy likes to entice and attract

The two energies are in everything all throughout the universe and chemically would be the equivalent of estrogen and testosterone which both men and women carry, but once again in different proportions that chemically shape our minds and brains

You are both feminine and masculine and it is only the proportions that are left for you to discover and expand on.

Gender is about the physical energy that you carry that shapes your body and mind and this was decided before you were born. This is true for every single person. We are born pre-disposed toward gender expression that the environment supports and or corrupts and by experimenting you can undo the corrupting influences of the enviornment you were born into, to than find your natural equilibrium.

Gender is destiny for some (one pure expression of feminine or masculine ) and fluid for others who have a mix of both energies which is how most people experience life.

The pure expression is unusual and the mixture of both is the norm.

If you discover you are TS it will be due to the natural expression of only one energy in its pure form, but this is unlikely considering your words.

[ReineD]

Sorting through masculinity vs. femininity has become confusing, because gender roles have changed considerably in our lifetimes if we are middle aged or older. We've all become more androgynous (in our behaviors and not our looks) now that most families have dual incomes. So now, dads are allowed to be nurturing, the President of the US is allowed to cry in front of cameras when talking about Sandy Hook, executives type their own reports on their laptops (:)), women are managers and they delegate, both spouses share in the household chores and the financial decisions, and both their female and male children play sports and take art and music classes. Men and women both have become comfortable with the expression of a wider range of talents and characteristics than was considered conventional during the 1950s. Men no longer feel as if they must "repress" being nurturing or sensitive, especially when they're caring for children, and women no longer feel as if they need to hide their intelligence and drive.

For example:

Traits like agression, leadership qualities, ambition, analysis, coolness, forcefulness, dominance, individualism, etc used to be considered "male". Now, these qualities only describe a stereotypical male. Women in the workforce have had to take on (or rather, stop suppressing) these characteristics.

And I suppose the stereotypical, 1950s definition of femininity (think of the TV show Mad Men) might be traits like cheerfulness, childishness, shyness, warmth, naivety, sensitivity, being flatterable and yielding, etc. But honestly, these traits are more descriptive of children now. Contemporary society is not as paternalistic as it was.

So maybe the difference between the two genders now has been reduced to just the physical differences between the bodies and also the biological roles (inseminating vs. carrying), plus the slight differences in body movement due to the differences in physiques. We can't really say that any mode of behavior or emotion is strictly the province of one gender or the other any more, although there are still people around who repress certain traits because they feel these traits are "too masculine" or "too feminine".



If you are not into trying to pass, but just like wearing the clothes, does that alone make you feminine?

If I see a cross dresser who is of average male height, and walks like an average male, and who has a male voice, and who does not attempt to present as a woman, I will not think he is feminine just because he wears women's clothes. Even if he is not the stereotypical macho dude like John Wayne. But, I will appreciate that he wants to express an inner femininity. Or, maybe I'll think that he just likes the clothes.

If I see him forcing or exaggerating feminine body movements (fake high pitched voice, little pinkie in the air when sipping tea, too much of a wiggle when walking, excessive eyelash fluttering, etc), then I'll think that he's behaving like a man who is trying to behave like a woman, rather than believe him to be feminine.

If he can pull off mastering the very subtle differences in body movement between men and women without it seeming "put on", I might think he is feminine. But, a guy can do this without wearing the clothes, if you think of effeminate men in the gay community. ... although, even some of those mannerisms seem more feminine (exaggerated), than the average woman behaves.

On a different plane are just the looks, and not the behavior. If a crossdresser has used all the props and makeup convincingly (not overdone) to look like a female, then he will most definitely LOOK feminine. And if he can also adopt the subtle feminine body movement, then he will give the impression that he is feminine as well. If she wants to be though of as a she, then she will be feminine.

In my opinion.

[Beverley Sims]

I would not like to say I was masculine or feminine, that would be too simplistic.
I feel I have both male and female traits that appear at different times in thought processes and actions.