sexual?

[KatieGG]

So google tells me that most guys cross dress for sexual thrill.
My husband told me he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, and there is never any..*cough cough* signs of that kind of excitement lol. He said he just likes the clothes and the fact he can look like a chick when all dressed up. Is that the case for anyone else? Or is it still sexual or has it never been?

[docrobbysherry]

Dressing for 15+ years. Sex is a part of it, but definitely NOT ALL.
Hope it will continue to be, tho.

[AmyGaleRT]

I don't know that I'd call it "most guys." It's certainly "some guys," but "most"...I don't really think so.

Also, some of us start out with more of the "sexual thrill" aspects, and later "grow out of it." I'm one of those. It was only when that impulse started diminishing that I was really able to figure out more of why I was doing this, and what I needed to do, and what I hoped to accomplish.

But there are many reasons why guys crossdress. Google's answer to you is partly right, but doesn't convey the whole picture.

- Amy

[Teri Ray]

Was and still is to some extent. Not as much but I love the thrill.

[Ann Louise]

Very sexual at first, but I suspect that's because I was totally in secret, and had limited time alone. That's probably what made each moment so precious and exciting! Now that I can dress at home on the weekends, and am a routine under-dresser I love being able to feel my feminine nature without the sexual undercurrent full-on all the time. Elfin

[SarahMarie42]

That's actually a very difficult question, Katie x]. I'm not quite sure how to answer it. That might still occasionally be an element, but I'm mostly just iffy about my gender. Many people cross dress for many different reasons, and, for many, it may be a fetish at one point and a fun, little, "Look at how pretty I am!" sort of activity at another. It's always difficult to know what's going through someone's mind. Lol.

[justmetoo]

It wasn't sexual when I was a kid. Then a sexual thrill component came into when I became an adolescent. That diminished over the years. These days there's very little of that left to it. Now it's more like your husband said, I like the clothes, I like how I can look. It's more about expressing part of myself that I can't express in drab. Just one part of the whole me, which is sometimes more male, sometimes more femme, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes just me.

[SarahMarie42]

It wasn't sexual when I was a kid. Then a sexual thrill component came into when I became an adolescent. That diminished over the years. These days there's very little of that left to it. Now it's more like your husband said, I like the clothes, I like how I can look. It's more about expressing part of myself that I can't express in drab. Just one part of the whole me, which is sometimes more male, sometimes more femme, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes just me.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ That

[Angela Campbell]

It started when I was about 4 and was not in any way sexual. It had some appeal when I was a teen, but then again everything did then. That went away very quickly and it has no sexual appeal at all for me now. Just a way for me to look more like the woman I am inside.

[NathalieX66]

When i was a teenager, the taboo-ness of dressing up in womens' clothes gave me a thrill, but now it's about self-expression and personae. Hey KatieGG, you're a girl, right? What do you like about being a girl? Whatever it is, I want some too.

[sissystephanie]

I have been crossdressing since I was 6 years old. Not all the time of course, and certainly not wearing all feminine clothing. But I do not remember it ever being really sexual! I crossdress because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing! That was and still is my reason for doing it. BTW, I am now 80 years old and a widower. My dear late wife was totally supportive of my crossdressing!

[Jennifer in CO]

I'd say till I met my wife it wasn't sexual. She made is a sex(ual) thing but that only lasted a few years - till I transitioned. Then it became normal

Jenn

[marny]

I can't imagine there not being a sexual element to it. We are all sexual beings. I mean, Gee Whiz, sometimes I look at something in the grocery store and get a little rise! How could I ever get Blase' about sliding into some panty hose and a dress. But I have to wonder about the vague google reference. I believe for most of us mature cd's it is more about who we are. But Hey. We're still breathing! :heehee:

[MissTee]

Sexual, yes, in the sense that I feel attractive when dressed. Many years ago when I started dressing it was almost all sexual I suppose -- a taboo inspired thrill that would indeed excite me physically. Now it's an emotional high that gives me a degree of fulfillment and well being that I absolutely can not get any other way.

[EmilyLynn28]

It started out sexual to me, but it's not anymore. It feels natural to me to dress in women's clothes. I mean, that's what women do, right! :)

[Eryn]

Young males can get aroused by anything. With plenty of hormones raging through their systems just about anything is arousing.

From my current perspective from the far side of 50 I can say that dressing isn't about arousal at all. Once everything is nicely tucked away arousal is the last thing that will happen! I just enjoy being out in the world as a different sort of person.

[StephanieJ]

There is a movie about a famous woman named Temple Grandin who is an autistic savant. She could not stand human contact so she invented a "squeeze machine" that would simulate the feeling of being hugged. When I cross dress, I feel like I am stepping into a squeeze machine.

That moment of comfort that I could not otherwise have is the whole reason I dress. The thought of committing a sex act while dressed,snaps me out of that feeling and back to reality. It reminds me that I am a man and thus, it is something I try to avoid.

Not sure if that makes any sense. You probably need to see the movie "Temple Grandin" to fully get what I'm saying...

[JenniferR771]

Thanks for your question, Katie. I don't think you could say men dress for the sexual thrill of it. Google left out a lot. You have to be a crossdresser first. Plain old ordinary men do not get a sexual thrill from dressing in a cute dress. (Correct me, if I am wrong.)

I probably was born a crossdresser and just discovered it about age 10. Sexual thrills in my early years. These days (50 years later), coughing is more and the signs of sexual excitement are rare. I have a better sense of outfit selection and more skill at makeup--my dressing, jewelry, wig and shoes are more elaborate and complete. I am more likely to go outside, and ready to admit that I am a cd to some people, not all.

Perhaps I am trying to re-ignite that sexual thrill.

[GroovyChristy]

Well, sexuality is definitely a part of it, at least for me. I'm 22 and easily aroused anyway, so of course slipping into a pair of panties or tights, etc. is going to get me a little excited. But that's only part of it. I love feeling like a lady and women's clothing is much better suited to expressing my personality than men's clothing, and sooo comfortable too. It involves all aspects of myself - I think more like a woman than a man, and so I would prefer to look more like a woman too. But I'm just one person, and I'm sure people crossdress for all sorts of reasons, none necessarily more or less valid than others.

[Jenniferathome]

... he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, ...

I'd say this describes me. But to be fair, the average tween/teen will get a chubby if the wind blows. I think the taboo of dressing gets translated into stiffies when you're young(er). of course there are fetish dressers too.

[darla_g]

I think there is ALWAYS a sexual component to it. But at a certain point its also a craft, you want to see how good you can do.

[Leslie Langford]

I concur with the majority of the posters here, and it bears repeating that most of us first noticed these urges to put on girls' clothing as young as around ages 5-6. Since that precedes even the earliest onset of puberty amongst humans and the corresponding first awareness of sexual urges, clearly something else is at play here, and it comes down to gender awareness/confusion.

Sure, a temporary sexual component kicks in around puberty, and if I had to guess, much of that has to do with desiring females but not being able to act on those feelings. In this regard, Mother Nature plays a cruel trick on us since teenage girls mature faster than we do and typically go for the older guys at that point in their lives, thereby leaving us hanging (or self-pleasuring, as the case may be ;)). And so, being the budding crossdressers that we are, we do the next best thing, which is to create an imaginary (surrogate?) girlfriend via our alter egos. But once we start dating, developing relationships with SO's, becoming sexually active as the fundamentally heterosexual males that most of us are, and eventually getting married or entering into long-term relationships, the sexual component starts to wane and we revert back to our crossdressing as an expression of gender identity.

Interestingly enough, these crossdressing urges often start to plateau (or even go dormant) during our early adult years as we start to become more focused on starting families, advancing our careers, and paying mortgages etc., and life suddenly becomes very busy. Then around age 50, these urges come back with a vengeance, and almost to the point of being an obsession in some cases. Maybe that's because most of us have settled down now and our lives are in "cruise" mode at that point, maybe it has something to do with lower testosterone levels that typically occur at that time (andropause - the male equivalent of menopause, but much more subtle in its direct effects), or maybe it is the jarring realization that we have more of our lives behind us than ahead of us, and if we don't explore our feminine sides to the fullest now, time will pass us by. Maybe it is actually a combination of all three factors, but either way, it should come as no surprise that many of us here are also between ages 50 - 65 as survey after survey has demonstrated.

All that said, let me put a different spin on the original question. Many of us get married or enter into long-term, monogamous relationships with the expectation that this step - along with a regular sex life - will cure us of our crossdressing urges - NOT!...which just leads us back to gender expression being at the root of our crossdressing inclinations.

[Michelle M]

In my teens it was often sexual.
30 years later it's still sexual occasionally, but for the most part I am doing some soul searching. Also, I love the feeling, the illusion of being pretty.
Michelle

[wadevikingfan]

i think in my case its sexual...i wanna look pretty...you look at a woman, and they are so darn cute..and i wanna look like that...i sure would rather wear a dress and heels than a suit...i love the feeling of wearing everthing that a woman does..and i must say , i do get so hard just visioning myself wearing womans clothes and going in public,

wendy

[AmyGaleRT]

There is a movie about a famous woman named Temple Grandin who is an autistic savant. She could not stand human contact so she invented a "squeeze machine" that would simulate the feeling of being hugged. When I cross dress, I feel like I am stepping into a squeeze machine.

That moment of comfort that I could not otherwise have is the whole reason I dress. The thought of committing a sex act while dressed,snaps me out of that feeling and back to reality. It reminds me that I am a man and thus, it is something I try to avoid.

Not sure if that makes any sense. You probably need to see the movie "Temple Grandin" to fully get what I'm saying...

It does make sense, Stephanie. While I've never seen the movie about Dr. Grandin, I did read the book she wrote in which she described that machine. I've also met the lady, and seen her speak about her experiences. A fascinating person.

About the only time I can get aroused while dressing is if I'm wearing a silky nightgown, and even that doesn't happen as often as it used to. When dressing, my most common sensation is of a warm, comforting glow surrounding me, like a feminine aura. This feeling sometimes makes me reluctant to abandon it when it's time to switch back! :)

- Amy

[belladonna]

So google tells me that most guys cross dress for sexual thrill.
My husband told me he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, and there is never any..*cough cough* signs of that kind of excitement lol. He said he just likes the clothes and the fact he can look like a chick when all dressed up. Is that the case for anyone else? Or is it still sexual or has it never been?

I've been CD since I was 10 at that age I didn't know why but I came to discover for me it's fairly sexual, as to say every time I dress up there are *cough cough* signs. But as with any fetish there different for every person and they always tend to morph, evolve, or change.

[janet54]

Funny I saw this I just sent a meessage to my friend here talking about the same thing. When I was younger it was a big turn on for me but now it is just a part of me not a tun on now. As Amy said it is more acomforting mode for me now.

[AnneB1nderful]

I agree with most of the posts here. However, I have a slightly different element. I dressed because I liked to think I was a girl. And, yes, that excitement caused arousal. But, I didn't like that part. I would get upset at my penis. Sometimes even hate it.

Now here's the element no one else mentioned. I had to climax to be able to undress. That was the only way I could temporarily get rid of the excitement I felt from being a girl. Also, after the climax, came on guilt, shame and sometimes disgust. It took me 47 1/2 years to finally accept who I am and not feel guilty.

So, as you can see, there are as many different sexual aspects to crossdressing as there are crossdressers. But, I can relate to your husband in that I don't dress to satisfy my sexual pleasure even though it does cause sexual arousal. However, after my re-emergence of dressing 2 1/2 months ago, that sexual stimulation has all but disappeared. Yet, now I'm dressed almost all the time except at work and around family. And for the past 3 weeks, I no longer have to climax to undress.

[Lynn Marie]

Yeah, me too. I've described CDing many times as both erotic and exotic. I still like both descriptions.

[wilt575]

It wasn't sexual when I was a kid. Then a sexual thrill component came into when I became an adolescent. That diminished over the years. These days there's very little of that left to it. Now it's more like your husband said, I like the clothes, I like how I can look. It's more about expressing part of myself that I can't express in drab. Just one part of the whole me, which is sometimes more male, sometimes more femme, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes just me.

In my case mother nature gave me very wide hips and curvy booty and kids at school teased me about it calling me names, girl butt, girl boy etc. So I started dressing the part as much as I could. Took on sexual thrill in early teens at 21 got breast implants after years of forms, more sensetive and natural, in late twenties sexual side left and just seemed more natural and normal. Like OP said like the clothes and expressing myself etc mostly fem now days Carole rules.

[Tara D. Rose]

Google told you a lie.

Some do and some don't. There are many members here that will tell you the same and I have read hundreds on here that agree. And that is that some/many of us do this for other reasons than for sexual excitement. Apparently whoever the person was from Google must have watched one too many Jerry Springer shows. Maybe I stand alone now; I sure as hell do not do this “ JUST to become aroused for sexual kicks”.

I can find many here that have said the same as I have said. But that's okay though, for who can argue with Google??

Hell. I just learned something about myself...NOT. I now have my hands in the air. There's just too much of so many things on Google or anywhere that continue to classify us all the same.
The argument, and/or misunderstandings seem as though they can never be truly defined. You are young; you read Google, with millions of opinions on everything under the Sun. We cd's now seem to be going back down the hill of the acceptance of what we thought we may have gained on here and events and so many others that speak publicly on our behalf.

But now, the all-knowing Google tells you and millions of others, that we do this solely for the purpose of sexual arousal. Well, I guess now, as a result of Google saying this is why cd's do what we do, THAT is the end of the battle. And as long as we believe in Google’s opinion, why don't we throw in that we do this to molest children too!

So as it is in this community, are we not to believe cross dressers words, but to rely on some Google writers?,,,,, That get paid to write on everything, and are instructed to, well to just go with how they feel that day. Now, I do agree with some of that though. There are some cd's that dress just for that one purpose. And of those that do this for sexual arousal, probably;…probably;..probably:..started dressing as a woman later in life, to get those kicks.

I'm not one of those. I'm not saying that those particulars do not exist or that Google is 100% wrong. But as has been written on here hundreds of times, so many of us do this for so many different reasons, not just for that one definition that you read on Google, but for so many of us, it is because it is in us from birth.

We have read hundreds of stories from so many members here that were doing this prior to 6 years old, long before they ever knew what sex was. But heck, here comes Google, and throws us all into and unto the same boat, or under the same umbrella, or we're all riding the same taxi. Wives that are trying to understand their SO's or their husbands or even their cd friends, all they have to do is just read Google, and well, that's it and there it is. It becomes a losing battle for us, or some of us.

Many, many, years ago, I once foolishly thought we were all the same way back before Google and the internet that we were the same, for I remembered my early childhood just wearing a towel around my tiny waist after a bath and I felt like a young girl or I envisioned I was my very attractive Aunt. Heck, I didn't even know what sex was. I didn't know what sexual arousal was. At the tender young age of 4, 5,6,7,and 11 years old, I was doing this secretly only to myself, for it felt so natural. I felt so lost. I felt so ashamed for I did this as a young innocent child, before I could even think for myself, before I had my first crush, before I realized my own mortality, before I even come close to knowing what life is, was or going to be.

We are not all the same. You may need to do more research into this before saying, "well this is what Google says", and then conclude that this is what a cd is and why they do this. Now I do agree that there were times in my young life like when I was between 15 and 25 years old, I had to get off, and sometimes I would have my Tara side on and would indulge in some personal self-gratification, but was it the dressing? Sometimes yes, but many more times, no.

How many men or boys will say that many times when they were alone, they needed to get off, when they had NO partner? Did they have to become their female side to get aroused? We have on this site alone, many cross dressers that still continue to become their female side long into their 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's and even maybe into their 80's. And so to those that can relate to me that were doing this just as soon as they could begin to put on their own clothes were doing this before they knew what sex was, was it only to become sexually aroused even when they didn't know what sexual arousal even was?
And don't we have many members on here that still become the female side of themselves long after their testosterone levels are nil or almost gone and libido is totally dead? Do we still keep becoming our female side? I think some cd's do. It's not totally for sexual arousal. To even say this is the ONLY reason is a slap in the face of cross dressers.

My wife Snow White and I were at SCC for the very first time in 2010. We both attended a private and separate meeting for accepting GG wives to educate new GG's and SO's of CD's. We listened for a while. We got up and left after about 30 minutes. Those wives were telling all the other confused and semi-confused, trying to accept, GG’s & or SO's of CD's that ALL of us do this solely for the purpose of sexual arousal.

I disagreed with the speaker for she had categorized as just one simple dimension. My wife and I went there to learn. Well, we both did learn. What we learned was that these wives were going solely from their own feelings with their own relationships. It does take a lot of time for an SO to not only come to grips with all of us, (either to accept us or deny us and leave), but as to where their on husbands or SO stand or where their own SO falls under so many things.

The SO/GG wife then needs to look into herself as to how far she will accept and what she will not accept. But, if my wife, were to JUST read Google, maybe just 3 articles from biased, ex- SO's, or like the website called wivesofcrossdressers.com, then of course she would pack her bags and be gone.

But now I do agree that there are those, and I have met them, that only do this just for the sexual arousal of it. But please do not put us all in between the two pieces of bread.



I will stop here.

[becky77]

I concur with the majority of the posters here, and it bears repeating that most of us first noticed these urges to put on girls' clothing as young as around ages 5-6. Since that precedes even the earliest onset of puberty amongst humans and the corresponding first awareness of sexual urges, clearly something else is at play here, and it comes down to gender awareness/confusion.

Sure, a temporary sexual component kicks in around puberty, and if I had to guess, much of that has to do with desiring females but not being able to act on those feelings. In this regard, Mother Nature plays a cruel trick on us since teenage girls mature faster than we do and typically go for the older guys at that point in their lives, thereby leaving us hanging (or self-pleasuring, as the case may be ;)). And so, being the budding crossdressers that we are, we do the next best thing, which is to create an imaginary (surrogate?) girlfriend via our alter egos. But once we start dating, developing relationships with SO's, becoming sexually active as the fundamentally heterosexual males that most of us are, and eventually getting married or entering into long-term relationships, the sexual component starts to wane and we revert back to our crossdressing as an expression of gender identity.

Interestingly enough, these crossdressing urges often start to plateau (or even go dormant) during our early adult years as we start to become more focused on starting families, advancing our careers, and paying mortgages etc., and life suddenly becomes very busy. Then around age 50, these urges come back with a vengeance, and almost to the point of being an obsession in some cases. Maybe that's because most of us have settled down now and our lives are in "cruise" mode at that point, maybe it has something to do with lower testosterone levels that typically occur at that time (andropause - the male equivalent of menopause, but much more subtle in its direct effects), or maybe it is the jarring realization that we have more of our lives behind us than ahead of us, and if we don't explore our feminine sides to the fullest now, time will pass us by. Maybe it is actually a combination of all three factors, but either way, it should come as no surprise that many of us here are also between ages 50 - 65 as survey after survey has demonstrated.

All that said, let me put a different spin on the original question. Many of us get married or enter into long-term, monogamous relationships with the expectation that this step - along with a regular sex life - will cure us of our crossdressing urges - NOT!...which just leads us back to gender expression being at the root of our crossdressing inclinations.

Very interesting I have never thought about it like this before. Although I am not near my fifties I think this explanation makes sense for me also. There was a strong element of sexual appeal when I was a young adult, but as people have said and I never thought of before, I was doing this before that. And now there is no sexual component other than wanting to be attractive, so I guess the teenage years were as Leslie said, confusion and hormones and inexperience warping my feelings on it.

I learn so much about myself from listening to others on here :)

[Cheryl T]

Been dressing for more years than I care to admit...(because of admitting age, nothing else) and yes, at first it was a big turn on. Now that is no longer the case and it's just because I discovered a long time ago that this is a very big part of who I am.

[Kate Simmons]

Forget that notion. When I was in my prime of course it was mostly about sexual relief. Basically I had to be a woman and release in order to keep functioning as a man. Sounds strange I know but that is how it was for me. Over time it evolved into being more about who I am as a person and my feelings. We start out as physical beings and become spiritual ones.:)

[SarahMarie42]

Looks like Katie has started herself a popular thread :]

[Beverley Sims]

I think for most it starts out sexual and then we all move on.
Early in life I found that my reward was being able to mingle with girls as a girl satisfied me.
I was able to hit on women easier than when dressed as a man.

[KatieGG]

Wow thanks for all the feedback! I had a feeling google was at least half wrong after joining this forum. I wish I could find what I was reading that said that. Interesting to know that alot of you are like my husband since he is the only cd I know and the only one I talked to I just assumed thats how everyone was, until google told me otherwise. Everyone here has been incredably helpful and thanks again for in depth answers. And it's always pretty cool to start a popular thread!

[Kristyn Hill]

Leslie Langford always makes sense. I started when I was 3 and have continued in some capacity with lapses in time throughout. I like Leslie's explanation on creating our own "GF" Since puberty, it has been sexual for me and continues to be as being pretty and pretty woman turn me on further substantiating Leslie's explanation...for and about Me. As advised here in April 2011, I completely came out to my wife as wanting to move past just wearing her shoes and not having to hide mine as well as obtaining and collecting other items to bring my 2nd spirit to life.

We still enjoy Kristyn sexually and has actually brought us together and stronger with a better sex life since there are no inhibitions. With all of this being said, It is not 100% sexual for me and when not it is really about pursuing and discovering my look and illusion of being the most beautiful gurl I can be.

I am 43 and as others have stated, the sexual portion may subside as age sets in. I do know once my last baby girl ( make-up artist...lucky me but wished she knew about Kristyn ) I will be dressing a lot and will need a celebrity closet to house all of my shoes and outfits.

[JennyBaby]

For me, it was never just sexual.....It is just who I am :) Great question though!!

[veronica66]

For me it's sexual. My fem clothes are sl** clothes. I am also an exhibitionist. When I wear a small bikini or g-string (made for a man, no bikini top) to the beach I also feel like I am cross dressing

[stephNE]

Yes, not for me, not related to sex at all. When I was a teen, of course, everything then is sexually related. But now it is clearly for relaxation-I just feel comfortable when I'm in femme mode.

[Jillian Faith]

Yes and no, when I was younger it was very sexual and err umm after the sexual part came the guilt. Now as a mature 50 something when I dress it just feels right.

[Lady Catherine]

It was never sexual for me. I started long before I. knew what sexton was. And, let's face it, everything turns us on when we're teenagers.

[Wildaboutheels]

Certainly, this adds "fuel to the fire" so to speak? VVVVV

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?185646-sexually-stimulating

I suppose it IS is possible that a CDing man has NEVER had an orgasm even once while wearing some female clothing items. I just don't think it likely. And when someone started? Regardless, most used [during their teenage years]/are still using female clothing items to HELP get them to the promised land at least sometimes. Makes perfect sense that the wearing of female clothing would still be associated with the fun and memory of an O even if it was long ago for some people. Even if only subconsciously. And let's face the FACTS, the MALE O is what keeps Humans on the planet so it better be powerful. And addictive. And MEMORABLE.

Females don't need O's to get pregnant [not to say that a female O is any less "magnificent' than a man's] although some new research indicates that when/if a woman has an orgasm during intercourse, it may help steer the sperm to the correct fallopian tube which increases HER chances of getting pregnant.

My impression is that the hordes here who feel guilty/dirty about dressing do so because of the O. it's not a giant leap of logic that at least some would progress to full dressing to help alleviate that guilt and shame to some degree.

The simple bottom line is that there is nothing wrong with any of it, and it does not matter why anyone does it. What IS wrong is for someone to be a CDer and proclaim in these Forums [where rookies arrive daily] that there is a right or wrong for a CDer to "dress". Or that DADT is wrong/won't work/is doomed to failure. Or that ALL CDers should tell their SOs. Or that when a man or woman reaches a certain age they should or should not wear xyz. Or that XX is the proper length for a skirt...

Those kind of statements don't help anyone IMO and rookies already have plenty of worries when they arrive.

[SheriM]

For me, it has always had a sexual aspect to it. Even prior to puberty - I was fascinated with girdles, nylons, garters, etc. Now I under dress almost every day which is not a turn on anymore but when fully dressed, it still has a sexual side to it.

[Jana]

Katie, it's never been sexual for me, not even when I was little. It's more a means of feeling whole, like the outside matching the inside. But there's no rule, it works differently for different people.

[Vieja]

At 85 I just love the look and feel of women's clothing on my body. Thinking on that I think its just the feeling because as far as looks go

I look like a little old fat guy in a dress.


Vieja

[Gillian84]

To me, there is dressing and there is my sexuality. The two are different though not necessarily separate. That is to say that I identify more as a woman so I feel more comfortable expressing my sexuality and feeling sexy when dressed, but not necessarily because I'm dressed. If that makes any sense.

[darla_g]

When did guilt creep into the discussion?

Is this really religious pressure (which obviously has its own hangups over sex)? or is it societal pressure that we are all bowing to?

[GaleWarning]

It's sexual , still!!!
:yippee:

[Ressie]

It's funny how Google is being accused of lying when all google does is look for websites that have the content you're looking for. And since anyone can create a website the content is often opinionated, incomplete or misleading. The OP is like doing research for an assignment but not quoting the actual source.

My short story: Going on 60 and sexual stimulation is still my primary reason for dressing. But I get a similar reaction seeing a woman dressed in sexy clothes. I mean, a lot of women's clothes are designed to get men excited, don't you agree? Same with makeup, jewelry and hairstyles. The idea is to make women more attractive to men. There are other euphoric feelings also associated with women's clothing for me, but it's not possible to put it into words.

[Sandra1746]

I will echo what many have already said. For me, before puberty it wasn't sexual. At that time I'm not sure I understood "sexual". During puberty and early adulthood there was a strong sexual thrill about dressing, of course the "forbidden" nature just added spice to the thrill. Now in later years the "sexual thrill" is a distant memory, I dress now as a mode of self expression.

Previously I would never have worn Femme jeans or tops out in public; "...what will the neighbors think...". Now I regularly wear those clothes and never give it a second thought. I also doubt anyone I encounter does either.

Enjoy life, it isn't permanent,
Sandra1746

[Maria S]

Cross dressing is very important to me but a bonus is also using it as an aid to shall we say single player excitement. However if I dress for long periods of time that ability gets more difficult. It is almost as if my body adjusts to the new circumstance and it is no longer the initial feelings that enable me to do it. Hope this makes sense.

Maria

[Tabitha Storm]

It was definitly sexual for me early on. It would get me excited when I dressed, but that wasn't the compulsion behind dressing. As I grew older and got better with makeup and style it became more than a thrill.
Your husband is very lucky to have someone like you who is not only accepting but is also educating herself on cross dressing.

[Laura28]

It was sexual for me when i was younger and continued to be in my 20's however now it is not. It is just something that is a part of me and i enjoy and feel relaxed when dressed.

[Megan L]

To me it started at the age of 11-12 I was bored with just getting off and at that age girls really aren't in the picture so one day I grabbed my mom's panties and went to town it made me so hot all I wanted to do was purchased the stuff on and get myself off I stole so many things from her she finally found out. Point is I have since that day I dress to get off, I feel bad cause it takes so long to get dressed just the way I want look so good in my just for a 10-15 minutes of fun, I tell myself is this really worth it but I keep doing it, sometimes I ware stuff out in the go use but as most of you know it's not for very long due to someone coming home or coming over, I want to dress more if I do its under my own cloths, everyone different I want more dress time without the happy ending for a while. Anyways. Last night I got all dressed in my best lingerie got in bed and started on my wife as soon as she saw what I had on jumped out of bed yelled at me and went and slept on the couch didn't say anything word to me this morning oh what a life I'm really thinking about burning everything and and stopping all together but as we know that won't happen. Well enough of my ranting hopefully it helped and I wasn't just rambling good luck

[abbyleigh001]

Well hello... Me thinks that sex at one time or another enters our life regardless of our natural or chosen gender... Sex is a part of our life and it is life's continuance so let's move on... Crossdressing is just another way of expressing who you really are and does sex enter into that equation??? Yes it does... And to what extent??? We are all different and filled with unique needs...

[Tess]

Sex has always been part of dressing for me. A super turn on when I was 12 and it continued to be a great turn on for decades. Now in my later sixties its still exciting but not something that leads to sexual release. Its just a fun thing to do that livens up my life but I'm sure that deep in my mental processes it still leads back to sexual expression.

[Debra Russell]

When i was a teenager, the taboo-ness of dressing up in womens' clothes gave me a thrill, but now it's about self-expression and personae. Hey KatieGG, you're a girl, right? What do you like about being a girl? Whatever it is, I want some too.

EXACTLY -- me toooooo, besides I was experimenting dressing in femm clothes long before puberity set in -- nothing sexual there................Debra

[CassandraSmith]

So google tells me that most guys cross dress for sexual thrill.
My husband told me he doesnt get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, and there is never any..*cough cough* signs of that kind of excitement lol. He said he just likes the clothes and the fact he can look like a chick when all dressed up. Is that the case for anyone else? Or is it still sexual or has it never been?

Well for me, my first time at 4-5 in my mom's girdle I got a, ahem, you know what. I guess I was gifted that way! It had a supercharging effect on me during puberty and it was all about the big O. However, I didn't have to be dressed to go there either. I actually got a lot more interested in just feeling feminine once I lost my fear of it in my mid 30's and realized that it was really part of who I am and I needed to accept it. After accepting it, then I started to look at it differently. I think a crucial place in my growth happened when I started wanting to really feel feminine and that bulge became even more of a nuisance. Once in a while, I'll get some new piece of clothing that inspires me but mostly, it's about perfecting my manners, walk, presence, etc. It's become about setting goals and learning now.

[Stephanie47]

I think you're getting varied opinions because men and women vary widely. It does not matter if the guy is wearing a dress or not. When I first tried on one of my mother's nylon slips, it was because I liked the feel of the material. Back in the 1950's society was not sexualized as it is today. Heck, Playboy magazine was forbidden fruit. As a teenager sexual contact was frowned on. Self stimulation was the order of the day, whether in a dress or not.

From what I have read on this forum, it seems many cross dressers like myself, 'matured' or 'evolved' in wearing women's clothing because it brings serenity and tranquility. It becomes a stress reliever.

For me, even though my wife is not supportive of my cross dressing, I have not desire to bring it into the bedroom. When I'm with my wife, I do want to be the man she married.

[danielletorresani]

100% sexual for me.

I can say that if the sexual thrill ever goes away, the dressing up will go with it.

Seems like I'm in the minority, though!

[carhill2mn]

I have no idea where Google gets its information (they have never asked me). What does "sexual thrill" mean anyway? For many CDs there was probably a sexual thrill when they first tried CDing. For many, that "thrill" lessens over time and we become
more interested in the over-all "thrill" of being able to wear lovely clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, etc., and enjoy the experience of emulating women.

As usual, there is no "one size fits all" answer. In any case, it does not matter what Google or anyone else says. We each have our reasons for being "thrilled" about CDing.

I am sure that you and your husband will find your own "thrills"!

[Dumplingbug]

There can be sexual aspects that I can look back on in my crossdressing over the years, sure. I think part of it is definitely in the breaking of taboos. Also, there tends to be an undeniable cute/pretty/sexy focus in the design of female clothes since they're often more tailored to show off the body and look "hot". I'd be surprised if there weren't plenty of female at birth ladies who don't also get aroused at times when putting on certain of the more "sexy" items of clothes in their wardrobe, no?

That being said though, cross dressing and gender non-conformity in clothing for me isn't all about a sexual fetish or anything. As someone who feels rather much genderqueer in my identity... often it's just about being comfortable and letting my clothes match more with my personality. I often look at photos from times when I'm put in a position of having to wear dull masculine suited clothing and totally feel like I'm looking at some awkward out of place thing... not being able to relate to the person in the photo at all. So yeah, crossdressing kinda' relates for me to a wholeness of being that includes sexuality as a notable sub-element to the entire package deal.

[flatlander_48]

For me there has always been a sexual component to how I view crossdressing. I would hope that doesn't change.

[Mistybtm]

So google tells me that most guys cross dress for sexual thrill.
My husband told me he doesn't get anything sexual from it anymore but he did when he was younger, and there is never any..*cough cough* signs of that kind of excitement lol. He said he just likes the clothes and the fact he can look like a chick when all dressed up. Is that the case for anyone else? Or is it still sexual or has it never been?

It was when I was first starting out but now it is routine for me. I still get a little excited when trying on new clothes for the first time I have to admit. Also when I put on A very sexy outfit for A night of fun it is exciting as well not sure it is from the clothes or what is about to happen:dom:

[Leslie Langford]

100% sexual for me.

I can say that if the sexual thrill ever goes away, the dressing up will go with it.

Seems like I'm in the minority, though!

Going by your profile, danielle, you are still relatively young compared to many of the rest of us here. Let's compare notes in about 10 years time and see if you still feel the same way. Ours is not a static condition, and many of us CDers evolve over time in how we deal with it. Some even realize in due course that they are actually transsexual, and their ultimate path leads them towards fully transitioning.

Not to scare the bejeezus out of you, katieGG, but this does occur from time to time among our tribe ;)...

[LilSissyStevie]

When I was a teenager, when I looked at a pretty girl or even thought about one I got an instant reaction and often had to take care of it so I could get on with my life. Now at 58 I look at and think about pretty girls and don't have to do anything at all. That doesn't mean there is "nothing sexual" about girl watching now.

There is a huge stigma, both societal and within the T community, and a lot of self-hate surrounding the "fetish" aspect of crossdressing. That's why it's difficult to gauge the erotic element. My guess, from reading between the lines over the years, is that "most" is an understatement that allows for the theoretical possibility of non-erotic crossdressing.

[andrea lace]

as for me i have only recently told my wife about my C Ding but is it sexual i would have to say yes. After the deed is done so to speak i re enter male mode as the need to wear a dress leaves me. My wife has commented on several occasions that i am a much calmer person and more relaxed when dressed but it does not always lead to sex. Our sex life has got better since i told her even when i am not dressed.

[Frank]

When I dress it has some to do with sexuality, some to do with feeling pretty/sexy/desired, and some to do with wanting to be a woman. The first time I put on women’s underwear and pantyhose I was 16 or 17 and I was as excited as could be. I wore the same panties a few times and then turned away from female clothes for approximately 15 years. I must interject here and say, though I did not put on the panties I still put the man parts between the legs and looked in the mirror visualizing myself as a woman.
I have been married for over ten years and I have always bought all forms of lingerie for my wife, some more conservative and some more ****ty. No matter what it was it wasn't and still isn't used that much. Well one day I was alone and, probably doing laundry, and thought how can my wife not like to wear these sexy outfits? So I just threw one on to see what it looked like and looked like and I loved what I saw in the mirror!
For a year or so I would just occasionally wear her stuff when I was alone but I was growing fearful of stretching out her stuff and I wore her stuff for sexual gratification. I went along like this for a couple of years, always lingerie and gratification and then guilt. That was until this past November when I looked over at a gown she had gotten and I had to try it on, it was the first time I had desired outerwear (of course I had the underwear on as well) and getting in that dress felt magical.
Since that day things have snowballed and I have raced to the store and bought my own panties lingerie and blouses, I wear thongs everyday now and sometimes I wear lingerie or a garter belt and stockings underneath my clothes. I even tried on a pair my wife’s pants that she got for Christmas and are too big, that was a special day. Then I came across this website and learned about tucking.
Tucking changed everything, i.e. if tucked I can't play with it. You would think someone who likes to do that as much as I do would be troubled by that but instead of being bothered it made me feel more euphoric. Pulled tight back and looking and me feeling like a woman down there feels like nothing I have ever felt before. I have been happier in my days, I get less frustrated and I am more relaxed and all of this without being able to get aroused/hard. I have no desire to remove the tuck and only do so I don't get caught by my wife. When I do remove the tuck I generally do have to release in order to undress.
So in the end my dressing is a little of what all of you are saying, sexual when alone, no desire to release when tucked (i.e. if I was tucked for several days I would not release for several days.), and more and more I am learning about and acting on the other elements (wigs, make-up, etc.) because I love to feel feminine.
I hope this little look into my mind helps. xoxo Elexa

[Annaliese]

Not sexual at all when I was in my teens and may be in early 20 but not since then .It just the dressing and the since of it just feel right.

[Fiona K]

Hasn't been sexual for a very, very long time. Google is still quoting early 20th century theory

Gender and sex are 2 very different things. I recommend reading "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd to get closer to what's actually going on.

[Jenni Yumiko]

as for me i have only recently told my wife about my C Ding but is it sexual i would have to say yes. After the deed is done so to speak i re enter male mode as the need to wear a dress leaves me. My wife has commented on several occasions that i am a much calmer person and more relaxed when dressed but it does not always lead to sex. Our sex life has got better since i told her even when i am not dressed.
With the exception of the wife approval, this describes me also.

[Lorileah]

early in life everything is sexual. now sex is something I knew before but is doesn't visit often

[SandraInHose]

Definitely sexual, but that has waned or tempered over the years.

When I first startd CDing at age 13, I dressed for about 10 minutes at a time (if you know what I mean).

When I reached late teens/early 20's and had more 'alone' time, I still would stay dressed for a few hours up until I relieved myself, then immediately undressed and did something that would re-affirm my masculinity. This was back in the 70's before I knew there was anybody else doing this.

Nowadays, in my 50's, I still have a strong sexual underlining to my dressing, but there are those days I'll stay dressed for many hours and never get aroused, at least not enough to do something about it. Not often, maybe 10-15% of the time, but that's a lot more often than in my younger days.

[allesha10]

Sandra, I have been the same way, I can dress when nobody will be home and can stay that way all day, even enjoy doing the house cleaning dressed. But I feel compelled to complete the process physically before getting undressed. I have gotten better about not having to reaffirm my masculinity afterwards.

[Brittany CD]

It varies from guy to guy. It's not something that can be generalized.

[Raychel]

Sure when I was young dressing was a bit sexual. But then again, everything in life was.
Now that I am older, The sexual part is gone.
So was it the dressing or just the sexual urges of a younger man.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg.

[Ann-Marie]

I'm a late comer to CD'ing, starting in my late fifties. I do not get aroused when dressing, my mind is on staying upright in my high heels and judging wether I look reasonable. When fully dressed I have a feeling that is hard to explain, it is not arousal but a satisfaction that I look female to a certain degree. I really like the look of woman's clothes and shoes

[Danielle tights]

It can be sexual for me, but mostly when I dress it is for the sensation of wearing the different clothing and material which feel so much softer and more comfortable and dare I say it, sensual.