defemminize

[andrea lace]

I have read a lot of posts that say men who cross dress tend to defeminize there wife's but for me and my wife it has been totally opposite it has so far gone the other way. My wife who would rarely wear make up is now using it more. We shop together for feminine things and when we get home we both try our new things on, share make up tips and have fun experimenting together. I am hoping our relationship continues to go this way as my dressing is really starting to be fun but only because of my wife's involvement. I have always thought of my cross dressing as something to be ashamed of and with the help of this forum and my wife's participation a smile has emerged back on my face.

[Marleena]

Defeminizing, never heard of this before. At least it never had anything to do with past GF's in my case. I always thought that feminizing ourselves was a selfish type of behavior (meaning it's something we do to ourselves).

We both shop in the women's section for our own stuff, she's more casual than me though, go figure.:)

[Beverley Sims]

Another new word for the dictionary - defeminize.
I do not think this is the case but there are a lot of instances like yours where wives are taking a more active participation.

[NicoleScott]

To me, defeminizing means taking it all off at the end of the crossdressing session.

[Stephanie47]

Actually the word is in the dictionary....."to divest of feminine qualities or characteristics.."

I think I get the gist or main point of your remarks. I don't think we tend to defeminize our wives. I think many of us try to pursue the look of what WE think is feminine. I think you may have rekindled the fire in your wife to attract you, the individual and not necessarily the cross dresser in her husband. It may be like courtship days, when a prospective spouse tries to look and act their best.

In so many advice columns it seems the general opinion is the spouses tend to take the spouse for granted, revert to an underlying behavioral trait.

I explore my idea of femininity by only wearing dresses. That is what I perceived back in the 1950's and 1960's, when women did NOT wear jeans or pants. I remember the women in the neighborhood talking badly about women who did wear pants. Girls wore dresses, even while riding bikes. Remember 'sissy bars' on bikes and girls riding side saddle on horses?

Now I do realize and do see many many attractively attired women wearing pants and jeans. Sexiness is more of the aire of the person. A beautiful woman attired in attractive attire may be seen as sexy until she opens her mouth and destroys the illusion. The same can be said of the 'hunk' of a man. He opens his mouth and reveals he is boorish.

Andrea, I think you and your wife are rekindling your love affair. Sharing the desires and aspirations of each other, accepting each other, is a pleasant thing. Enjoy the togetherness, whether it includes cross dressing or not.


Another new word for the dictionary - defeminize.
I do not think this is the case but there are a lot of instances like yours where wives are taking a more active participation.

[Ressie]

To me, defeminizing means taking it all off at the end of the crossdressing session.

And I look forward to refeminizing the next time. I've always encouraged more from my girlfriends, but some like being boyish and that has to be respected.

Next!

[carhill2mn]

I must have missed the posts to which you are referring. IMHO, a more common situation seems to be that many CDs are married to women who are not now very concerned about being overly feminine in their looks or manner of dressing. In some cases the wife has made an effort to be more "feminine".

[Barbara Ella]

While I do not think we defemenize our wives, for many, by comparison, they are dressed much more flamboyantly and glamorized most of the time, while the wives tend not to go all out all the time, and by comparison, unknowledgeable observers might make that distinction since the dresser is all decked out, but the wife is not. therefore we must be responsible.

Don't think so.

Barbara

[Wonderwho]

I find that now that my CDing is in the open to my wife I am more likely to comment on how she looks. My intrest in her has been a good thing for both of us. I take more intrest in how she dresses wich in turn makes her feel better about her looks. We shop togeather and this has brought us closer than when I was trying to hide my intrest in womens cloths.
If anything openly CDing with her has helped me to come to a better understanding of both of our
female desires.
Wonderwho

[Ariamythe]

Ugh. That seems like an unnecessary label. Not all women are equally "feminine", so how would one determine whether a woman is 'defeminized' or just 'never was very feminized'? My wife, for example, has never been an overly feminine dresser. She prefers conservative dress and minimal make up. Still distinctly female in the cut and shape, but she'll almost always choose slacks and a top over a skirt or a dress, unless it's a very formal occasion, and she hates heels more than an inch high. Heck, there's a small part of me that hopes my wife is, like the wife in the OP, more encouraged to be feminine by my own dressing!

[allesha10]

I guess I ma just slightly confused as to what defemminize means, unless it means purging and becoming more masculine??

[AmyGaleRT]

To me, defeminizing means taking it all off at the end of the crossdressing session.

That sounds right. I call it "deconstructing" but "defeminizing" is probably a better term. It's usually a bittersweet moment, too.

- Amy

[sissystephanie]

I certainly did not "defeminize" my late wife. She was totally feminine when I first met her, when she was 7 years old, and was still that way when she passed on at age 70!! And she was a great help to me in my own crossdressing!!

[Leann68]

There must be a big difference in how a wife feels about her husband wearing fem clothes. My wife has stated she feels threatened when I dress, she seems that I take away from her fem beauty. She has stated that she is jealous of my appearance. I tell her daily how beautiful she is, but after 40 years of marriage I think it has lost its impact.

[Breeze]

As a GG I don't feel defeminized at all. I enjoy buying things for both of us and if anything I have started to explore my more feminine side once again something that I hadn't considered as important as I used to!

[Richelle423]

My GF is wearing more fem things now than before she found about my "secret".She would always call me a girl when I wore yoga pants.I bought her 3 pairs yesterday and she loves them! I told her they were comfortable.Still she wears the pants and I wear the panties!!

[Vickie_CDTV]

Never heard of someone "defeminizing" their wives.... if anything, those who dress tend to want their wives to be more feminine (in terms of how they dress at least.)