Defying authority - Is it in our nature and help explain why we continue to do it.

[Barbara Ella]

The thread about have to or need to got me to remember my defiant streak, which I had not thought about. Two situations.

At end of Junior year in high school we signed up for courses, and I did not sign up for Senior Choir, even after talking to counselor. Well, in Fall, my schedule included Senior Choir. I never went, and instead just went to study hall, waiting for the shoe to fall. Called into Principal's office and read the riot act for missing class. Cussed him and his staff out for changing my schedule without my permission and told him to stuff it I was never going to choir. My choice. End of story, no further discussions.

Because of moving, I was not allowed to play varsity basketball, and had to play on the JV team. Spent my time trying to coach the younger players as we only had one coach, and he more or less ignored us. Last game of season. After our game ended, and at halftime of the Varsity game, my girlfriend and I walked out of the gym. The Head football coach, and asst Principal came running out after us, and on the steps to the gym read me the riot act about not supporting the players by leaving during the game, and that I would be disciplined on Monday. I gave him a big F you, told him in no uncertain terms he had no control whatsoever over my life, and to get back to his seat. Reason we were leaving is my girlfriend had made a cake for the team. When we walked back in we made sure to walk by him as I took it into the locker for the team to have after the game. Monday I got a sincere apology.

So, after that lengthy exposition, my question is. Do you feel that we may have a bit more of a rebellious, reactionary, disdain for control, etc. than the normal person, and does this help add to the fact it is just right for us, and societal demands can be damned?

Thanks to jamees for bringing up these fond memories.

Barbara

PS. And believe me, that is going back a far piece for this old girl (66)

[Leah Lynn]

Girl, I know I have a nasty rebellious streak. Rules are made just so I can break them. Authority must be questioned and discarded. Now, if it comes from my girlly ways or the girl comes from that, I can't answer. But it would be interesting to find out.

Leah

[sandra-leigh]

I have a definite disrespect for "Authority for the Sake of Authority", and for "Mindless Authority". For example at work I would not wear my security badge (it was pure "security theatre"; in 20 years only one person asked who I was, other than the building people who asked just because it was a Rule.) It was commonly understood at work that the meaningless rules exempted me :D

Does this connect to my dressing? Probably. For me it is much like the description of the Myers-Briggs INTJ category that I usually test as, as written at typelogic.com (http://typelogic.com/intj.html)


What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

[AllieSF]

No, I do not think that there is a link to this side of our life. I believe that rebellion is there or not, strongly or not so strong. I understand that each one of us has their own max point where enough is enough. I do believe that we probably have some special courage to be able to follow this path of life when it is so outside the everyday norm for most people.

[JadeEmber]

I have no idea how general it is; however, it's certainly true of me, and it's absolutely true of some types in the community.

Of course, here's a separate question: is it that one rejects authority and is inclined to break bounds, or is it the ridiculousness of this taboo (and other societal strictures) that makes people that way?

Of course, to get back to my first sentence, maybe it is or isn't a common thread to TG and CD people. I have no data.

[Laura912]

Outwardly rebellious...no. Inwardly...yes. Speak ones mind at a meeting...absolutely. Independent...you betcha! But it is hard to think of Barbara Ella being so forceful!! :eek:

[Angela Campbell]

I applied for a handicapped parking sticker for my car. I was turned down because it seems a total lack of respect for authority does not count as a disability....who knew!

[Lorileah]

not a total lack of respect but a controlled and selective lack of respect. After all we cannot have anarchy can we?

[Tara D. Rose]

I don't mind authority, and I even respect authority. But however, I do have a disdain for those in authority that abuse their power. Or to those in authority enforce it selectivity.

[sandra-leigh]

Every time I see this thread, I feel like responding with,

"Oh ya? Who died and made you king to ask this anyhow!? And the horse you rode in on!!"

[Joan_CD]

My whole life I have challenged persons in authority. And now... I AM a person of authority!!! But I always instruct my officers and staff on my golden rule... The more power you have, the less you should exert it. I tell them to start at the lowest level and move up the ladder as needed, but never more than is needed.

[Pearl]

i have always been defiant, strong willed, willing to break rules. it was with some chagrin that i share this quote by Frank Herbert: Rebels are closet aristocrats.
peel me a grape!

[allesha10]

I tend to follow rules and regulations very closely, and that is what makes me believe that dressing is a need, hence I dress even though I know most around me would not approve.

[NathalieX66]

Barbara, that is a great post.

Sometimes we are pushed to the limit, and we must respond in kind.

*We* here are all here on this forum because we are looking for answers, and are curious how we and others handle situations, whatever they may be........otherwise we wouldn't be here, and we would spend our lonely hours in self loathing.

I never felt that wearing a dress in public was something I wanted to do, but something I felt I needed to do. I am no fan of complacency within the status quo. I never mutually agreed with society that there are rules which we must follow, particularly when there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for such rules. Consequences are what matter to me. You stick your hand in the fire, and you can expect to get burned. There is a difference between perception and reality. Fire is real.

[Michelle M]

Barbara, I can't even tell you how many of my bosses i've FIRED! Hate the electric company too. Planning to fire them.

[Jilmac]

I was pretty much of a rebel during my school years, but during my navy hitch I was a non conformist. There were many phases of military life that I disagreed with and I let it be known in no uncertain terms. My biggest peeve was a first class petty officer who knew nothing about my trade, telling my how to do it. I told him anybody can be a wood butcher but it takes skill and training to be a carpenter.

[Barbara Ella]

Wonderful responses to a passing thought. I also agree that total disregard for authority is not in our psyche, but misplace authority pushes the button. I was/am very shy, and introverted, and have severe self image problems. I will do anything anyone asks of me if it is within my power, and not make waves just not to be noticed. But when someone gives me a choice, and I make it, and then they take it back, they are toast. When someone disrespects me or my friends, they are toast. I feel the same way about my new/real life now. It is a choice I have been allowed to make,and no one takes it away nor disrespects any of my friends living the same life.

Amazing the insights you gain here.

Barbara

[sandra-leigh]

I will do anything anyone asks of me if it is within my power, and not make waves just not to be noticed.

Not me. At work, I pretty much dared them to fire me more than once. They never did, as they knew I was right. But things can get a bit tense when you refuse to skew your analysis that shows that you do not need the toy your boss has his eye on. ("You know what you should do with that kind of money? Training!")

[Leah Lynn]

I was pretty much of a rebel during my school years, but during my navy hitch I was a non conformist. There were many phases of military life that I disagreed with and I let it be known in no uncertain terms. My biggest peeve was a first class petty officer who knew nothing about my trade, telling my how to do it. I told him anybody can be a wood butcher but it takes skill and training to be a carpenter.

Were you the Seaman Apprentice that showed up for muster wearing orange socks????

Leah PO1

[ArleneRaquel]

Great thread Barbara. Well I dislike unreasonable authority, sometimes I have taken a hard stand, sometimes not so hard, sometimes I just left things go, perhaps out of cowardice, or because the authority was such an idiot that making a big deal out it was useless. As I become older I am becoming bolder in speaking my mind, perhaps because of age, I don't know. I do know that no one had better mess with me about my lifestyle of make any of my LGBT feel degraded or hurt in my presence. I have found so may CD friends as wonderful human beings.

[flatlander_48]

not a total lack of respect but a controlled and selective lack of respect. After all we cannot have anarchy can we?

We could, but the benefits suck...

[flatlander_48]

Many years ago, my ex-wife (we were still married at that point) said to me:

"You never do anything that you don't want to do."

That sort of brought me up short. However, when I reflected on it I realized she was essentially right. The only difference is I wouldn't say "never", but "high probability" would apply.

In more recent times, current wife has said something similar but stated more as a piece of information rather than an indictment.

[Kate Simmons]

Anything I do, I only do because I want to. I didn't have to think "outside the box" because I was never in the "box" to begin with. Guess that made me some kind of oddball but I never cared. I never compromise my principles just to please other people. That is looked at as being rebellious by some but I feel it's just standing up for what you believe in. Just another day of life for me.:)

[flatlander_48]

The more power you have, the less you should exert it.

We, Hu-mans, have a tendency to think that increasing authority brings increasing privilege. In fact, it works in an inverse way. About 10 years ago, I supervised a group of 11 engineers and technicians. It quickly occurred to me that while I did have considerable influence over their professional lives and futures, it was my responsibility to use that influence in positive and constructive ways. I think people often forget that.

[Frédérique]

So, after that lengthy exposition, my question is. Do you feel that we may have a bit more of a rebellious, reactionary, disdain for control, etc. than the normal person, and does this help add to the fact it is just right for us, and societal demands can be damned?

I can't damn society - I need something to be contrary to...:doh:

I respect authority, and yet I crossdress. My father was a fireman (a lieutenant), and my mother was part of the local police force, so I can’t help but respect authority – in many ways I admire conformity, but I just can’t conform, if you know what I mean. I can think of many people I’ve met in my life who have inspired me, and they all wielded authority – they would be appalled to see me now, a societal deviant, but weren’t they the same people who said "question everything" and “you can do anything you want to do”? Yeah, it’s confusing, to be sure...

I’m not rebellious at all. I don’t show myself much (in the outside world) partly because of this respect for authority I have. In other words, I don’t crave friction like some people do. Any type of conflict affects me deeply, and it takes a long time to “come down” from such heights, or "up" from the hole I managed to dig for myself. I would rather stay calm, and stay out of sight, even if this angers other members of our community. The other community, the one right outside my front door, is precious to me, and I wish to be a law-abiding PRIVATE citizen. It’s fun to play with societal demands now and then, but making a habit of upsetting the apple cart is just not ME...
:battingeyelashes:

[Foxglove]

I've always been a rebel. Give me a rule, I'll do my best to break it--even if it works in my favor.

I can't say that has anything to do with my being trans, though. It may be the other way around: my being trans helped me to become a rebel.

Annabelle

[Billie1]

My answer to Barbara's question would be, I honestly don't know.

I was a crossdresser waaaay before I was an angry, rebellious youth.:)

[PretzelGirl]

I don't know. I fell in line as a child and I was the son of a Navy Lieutenant. Then I was in the Army and worked within the system. I also didn't do any crossdressing during those periods, so you might be able to draw a conclusion from that, but I am not sure there is one there. I was brought up with respect for authority and when someone abuses that privileged, I work within the system to change it.

[Beverley Sims]

I would have thought the opposite but I was not a good boy at school.
I was defiant most of the time.

[Jenni Yumiko]

My arrest record speaks for my defiance, but with age and kids, I'm more of a calm, don't get in trouble kind of person. Only thing I do nowadays that's illegal is speeding.

[Crissy Kay]

Although I have not given it much thought, yes, I do belive there is an element of rebellion to authority in my cding.