Melt Down Posts . . . .

[Anne2345]

It has been awhile since I have written and submitted a good falling apart melt-down post.

It’s been about four months, actually. And based upon my time here as a member, that is a really, really long time for me to go between melt-down posts.

In fact, without taking the time to go through my OP thread count history (who has that kind of time?), I am fairly confident that this constitutes a new personal record for me. I mean, there was a time that I was submitting melt-down posts on a regularly basis, or either walking away from the forum left and right, head hung low in personal disgust and self-rejection, because all of this, within my mind, was too much to handle.

But don’t worry. I am not about to break the streak now. The record, in all of its glory (such that it is), shall continue on beyond this day. On this rather cold, wintery, mid-January night, I shall not break down, melt down, or otherwise fall down in any manner. Better still, I can assure each and every one of you that I have no current plans to melt-down in the reasonably near future, either.

So if you have been sitting around, bowl of popcorn in hand, waiting for me to write yet again about how I have completely lost it, you are out of luck. Sorry to disappoint. It ain’t gonna happen. Not tonight, anyways. Nor tomorrow night, either.

Regardless, I cannot, and do not, claim all of the credit for this new personal best of mine. Indeed, much work, effort, and love has been put into the establishment of this currently on-going record of mine by many, many folk.

Chances are, if you are reading this now, you have played, and shall continue to play, a part in my on-going streak (for however long it may last). Certainly, without hesitation, I also credit majorly my wife, family, friends, and therapists, too. I am, after all, as most who know me here will surely agree, a rather high maintenance transsexual. Or at least, perhaps more accurately stated, I have been more high maintenance in the past.

But I make no mistake – this has been a total team effort. Of course, doesn't that hold true for each and every one of us here? That we are here for each other, that we get it, that we understand, and that we have each other’s back is no small thing. It is no small thing at all. It makes at least my journey more bearable, and infinitely more possible, knowing that I am not alone. And I hope it does the same for your journey, too. :)

[Marleena]

Yay! I like non-meltdown posts much better.:hugs:

[PretzelGirl]

Well Anne, the streak will just have to continue without an end. You have probably found your solution. I don't think you will hear any complaints from us. :D

[Kaitlyn Michele]

you got me!!!

i saw the thread and i thought...uhoh!!!

[Diversity]

Sounds like you are gaining a stronger hold in your personal journey. I hope all continues to improve for you, and I wish you well. Good luck!
Di

[Barbara Ella]

The only good thing about meltdown posts is when they morph into feel good posts like this. And please, don't think just because you are feeling good that you can lessen the times you come in here for a tune up. Now that you are purring, you will need to spend even more time right here.

Yay for you.

Barbara

[Pamela Kay]

Geez, what a waste of a perfectly good bowl of popcorn!


Really it is sooooo good to see you in a calm and happy post and I believe the best is yet to come for you girl.

[KellyJameson]

Everyone has melt downs, you just happen to have the courage to post them.

I know you do not think it is courage because the posts, done in anguish and cathartic by their sharing would lead you to believe otherwise but I refer to the courage to make yourself vulnerable to others by being so transparent in your pain.

This ability to be public with your pain is what will keep you safe all the way through your journey.

You have a rare gift and that is a trust in others to be there to help you in your pain because you feel a part of humanity and not an outsider.

I envy this gift you have because I have never had the courage to earn this gift for myself so I still live "outside" of humanity in my own mind to some degree, a visitor from another planet so a foreigner in a strange land.

I suppose there are some things that a scalpel cannot fix.

[LeaP]

It has been awhile since I have written and submitted a good falling apart melt-down post.

It’s been about four months, actually.

Not to burst your bubble… but it's been about seven weeks (11/27 thread). Edits and shifts in perspective don't count!

You see, part of that wonderful support system is keeping each other honest! Aren't you glad to have friends???!!!

[Anne2345]

Not to burst your bubble… but it's been about seven weeks (11/27 thread). Edits and shifts in perspective don't count!

You see, part of that wonderful support system is keeping each other honest! Aren't you glad to have friends???!!!

Ok. I stand corrected. Someone obviously does have the time to go through my excruciatingly long list of thread OPs. And there's a lot of non-sense and silliness in there, too, so that is quite the detective work you pulled off there, Lea! :eek:

But alas, you are indeed correct. I myself missed that one when I scanned my list of thread OPs. Because, you see, I just didn't have the time to go through it all properly like someone around here I know apparently did! :doh:

Regardless, seven weeks is STILL a really long time for me to go melt-down free! So whether four months or close to two months, the reasons for this streak remain the same - I feel really good, my friends and family have been fantastic, the forum has been wonderful, my therapy has accomplished much, and I believe I am currently on the right path! :-)

But I know I can say this, Lea - I have been melt-down free all year long!!! :tongueout

[Rianna Humble]

It has been awhile since I have written and submitted a good falling apart melt-down post.
...
Chances are, if you are reading this now, you have played, and shall continue to play, a part in my on-going streak (for however long it may last).

Congratulations on your winning streak - whether it's 7 days, 7 weeks or whatever it's good to see you keeping your head above water.


I have been melt-down free all year long!!! :tongueout

Well done, but be careful where you streak - it's against the law to streak at public events in this country :heehee:

[LeaP]

But I know I can say this, Lea - I have been melt-down free all year long!!! :tongueout

Do PMs count???

[Tamara Croft]

It has been awhile since I have written and submitted a good falling apart melt-down post No melt downs allowed, I will smack you, very hard, on the ass... :eek:

and that we have each other’s back is no small thing. That you do, I can say you've had my back and I'm very grateful and I have yours and your ass, if you meltdown again, I will kick it... ha! :raspp:

[Anne2345]

Do PMs count???

Ok, that does it!! I know where you live!! I'm coming up there RIGHT now, in fact, and I'm going to give you a real piece of my mind!! Over wings, bleu, and drinks, of course. And maybe after a shopping trip or two first. Oh, and some spa treatment first, too. But still!!! And afterwards, perhaps some late night cocktails and nice conversation. So prepare yourself!! It's going to be brutal, but you have it coming!! :devil:

[LeaP]

Well fine. There's at least a couple dozen people here I'd like to invite along, though. Particularly as you're paying.

[josee]

But if you aren't broke, how can we fix you?

You have a leg up on many of us here in that you are very transparent and open with your feelings and have been so willing to share with us the depths of your pit of despair. This has helped you get guidance and gain insight into yourself so you could see the way out of the mire.

It all starts with acceptance it seems. Once you accepted yourself and who you are. It got easier. When you saw there was a way out of the dysphoria and started putting your plan together it got a little better again.
Once you started acting on that plan it got even better.
I think it only gets better from here. As long as we continue to put one foot in front of the other and progress in our journey we have no where to go but up.

[docrobbysherry]

First, Anne, let me explain:

I do NOT enjoy your "melt downs". Reading them HURTS! But, I agree with Kelly. Having melt downs r how many of us function! But, men often dig deeper into the cave rather than voice what they r feeling.

I'm old, experienced, and have long passed the"temper tantrum" stage. Now, when the pressure starts building, I simply stop doing things I don't like and only do things I like! And so, tantrum averted!

However, people that r in their prime r often subject r to a lot of responsibility and stress and r not able to do that. Never mind trans/CD issues! Unless u figure out what causes melt downs and develop a way to avoid them, they will return!

But, don't make the melt downs the issue! They r simply the safety valve that keeps u from blowing a fuse. Concentrate on curing the disease. Don't worry about the symptom!

[morgan51]

Anne, We told you it would get better and I'm thankful it has for you. This suport is what keeps me going sometimes just reading and seeing I'm not alone is a Big deal. I still have my days too! Hugs Sis.

[melissaK]

But, don't make the melt downs the issue! They r simply the safety valve that keeps u from blowing a fuse. Concentrate on curing the disease. Don't worry about the symptom!

well I thought that was profoundly wonderful advice . . . and ANNE you clearly have worked on the disease!

[ChelseaErtel]

I find it very encouraging. I have gone about three hours without crying and I'm going to try and keep that going. Hope is eternal, to not transitioning is not.