Still Secret

[secretgirl]

After logging onto this site I realized I no longer need to live as "secretgirl".. If any of my new sisters can help me get over my fears I would be grateful.

[suzy1]

We would love to. So what are your fears and how can we help?:)

[ClaudineD]

slow steps....find your level.....be confident and realize it is NOT abnormal to express your feminine needs......many a girl here to help the process

[secretgirl]

My biggest fear is,.. I was born in a male body, everything else is female. Am I going to be judged as a lost soul. I guess this is one of those debates til the end of time. I just know when I'm dressed and doing home chores I feel so comfortable. So comfortable that I hate going back to the other person.

[Karren H]

Just assume that when you come out that everyone will judge you poorly.... and if someone doesn't then it will have exceeded you expectations... also not caring what other people think will go along way to help maintaining your sanity...

[Gena Gurl]

All you have to fear is fear it's self, realy that's it. I was just like you, but now I am out and about.

[JBPerry]

I know that its hard to go back to one mode when you love staying in the other....I go through it during the week.....its why Im so glad I can underdress!!!! (Not to rub it in)

[AmyGaleRT]

My biggest fear is,.. I was born in a male body, everything else is female. Am I going to be judged as a lost soul. I guess this is one of those debates til the end of time. I just know when I'm dressed and doing home chores I feel so comfortable. So comfortable that I hate going back to the other person.

This is not uncommon and you are not a lost soul. Even I get those kinds of feelings when transforming into or out of Amy-mode, and I'm only convinced my soul is partly female. You shouldn't feel afraid to be yourself, for whatever definition of "yourself" you use. You have nothing to be afraid of; all you're going to be doing is feeling more like who you are.

- Amy

[Beverley Sims]

Try and let your little secrets out and I am sure there are a number of people just waiting to help.
Keep asking the questions though.

[Foxglove]

Am I going to be judged as a lost soul.

By some Christian right-wingers, yes. Up to you whether you want to worry about that. I don't myself. And there will be plenty of people who don't like it one bit--but not all of them will be hostile to you.

I was thinking today that I don't believe I've ever encountered a trans-hater who actually understood anything at all about transgenderism.

If you're comfortable one way and hate being the other way, then you need to explore how you can be in your preferred mode as much as possible. That's what I did recently, and it's paid off handsomely. Not all people by any means can adopt my solution, but you can think about what you can do for yourself.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Teri Ray]

I figure the first and best step is to work on accepting yourself and your desires. It is a stuggle but at least for me once I accepted that this passion to dress is just as much a part of me as anyother trait I have. Begin to accept yourself for who you are is a pretty good begining. I figure I worry less about the small stuff after that. Well except I hate when I screw up my eyeliner still.

[allesha10]

I have to say, joining this site and talking with you great ladies, has helped me come to grips with myself and accept who I am. However yesterday when I came home I thought my wife(who hasn't been told) had found some of my everyday lingerie. MY heart stopped. I am still at a loss on telling her?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Secret Girl, When you are here you are home among friends.

[wilt575]

My biggest fear is,.. I was born in a male body, everything else is female. Am I going to be judged as a lost soul. I guess this is one of those debates til the end of time. I just know when I'm dressed and doing home chores I feel so comfortable. So comfortable that I hate going back to the other person.

As many here have said go easy take it slow, I don't buy the lost soul idea,we are not lost, just learning our true selves. Like you I was born in male body, but it is what you feel and think inside that makes you who and what you are (in my case female). Teri Ray is right on the money. As far as going out I started at night like casinos etc where there are people and you blend and the focus is other things than the people who are there, but your among people, does that sound stupid or what, but it worked.

[Rachel52]

It is so important, for myself, to be as confident as possible about being bi-gendered. I love being Rachel so much. It is easier said than done, but I only hurt myself by not dressing and expressing the girl inside of me. And I hurt nobody at all when I do dress. Find your confidence SecretGirl and just enjoy yourself.

[UNDERDRESSER]

My biggest fear is,.. I was born in a male body, everything else is female. Am I going to be judged as a lost soul. I guess this is one of those debates til the end of time. I just know when I'm dressed and doing home chores I feel so comfortable. So comfortable that I hate going back to the other person.Are you talking about this from the point of religion? If so, and you think your church may not accept you, maybe look into switching? I mean how did you end up in the church you attend now? Your parents? Maybe look with a critical eye at the tenets of the particular faith you follow, do you actually agree with ALL of them, or do you simply go along?