some advice please

[antonia_bee]

As some of you will have read, I told my wife recently, and aside from the initial tears she has begun to accept it.

The issue we know face is that she has told me that she is struggling with the sexual side of our marriage. She says that she likes her men to be manly, and my admission has shattered that perception of me for her.

As a guy I enjoy the usual things (football, rugby, drinking, DIY etc) but have shaved my legs for ages, and my wife happily admits she loves my more feminine side (caring nature, sympathetic, nurturing, love of clothes and taking care of myself) but is finding it hard to feel sexually attracted to me now that I have said I like wearing girls clothes.

The arrival of our first child has further complicated matters as I have zero opportunity to dress and we are both exhausted.

This is not something that can easily be solved and I know it will take time, but is there anything I can do to reassure her that the 'manly' parts of me are still there?

[Tibby]

Continue to be the man she already knows, be a husband and be a daddy. Let her acknowledge that dressing in feminine clothes doesn't change you as a person, it's simply another aspect of your personality. If she has recently given birth her hormones and emotions will be all over the place already so giving that extra bit of reassurance and support to her at this time when she needs it can give you rewards in the future.
Remember that women tend to not have the time to dress pretty or take time over their appearance in the same way they did before having children, not when they have a young child to look after, so you're in the same boat as your wife. In time she may be able to see past the clothes and still see you, her husband, no matter what you are wearing.

[Julie Gaum]

Antonia, to further amplify what Tibby suggested you and your SO should try to agree on compartmentalizing. What I mean by that is both agree on giving a female name that you both like to that persona and also the boundaries for that third person; boundaries of place and time.
The bedroom, obviously, is where the man she married is fully visible along with other places she wishes. Then, when you call for that third person to appear your wife will become more comfortable in that the role is what you both agreed to accept. Usually works with time.
Julie

[Jenniferathome]

Antonia, one of the things my wife worried about most was the ability to see me as her husband after seeing me presenting as a woman. Would she always see me as a woman, even when not dressed? Well, her fears were allayed. Your wife could be in a similar mode. She's thinking about it. You have a new baby, her hormones are adjusting, you're both tired. To reassure her, first, do not dress around her. Put your things aside for a bit if they are currently exposed and do non-sexual things for her: flowers on occasion, make her dinner, do the dishes and or laundry! Most importantly, you do have to remind her you are the man she married and that cross dressing is not WHO you are. Try to talk but keep it light and open ended as to what you can do to help her.