What would you do if you saw a sister in public if you were in drab?

[danielleCD88]

I have always wondered how many cds have seen me and what was going through their minds. I figured i knew the best ppl to ask said questions :)

[Gillian84]

I would smile and not say a word.

[Stephanie Miller]

Walk past and compliment her on her purse/shoes/dress or whatever, then say something to the effect of "I've seen that style before and thought it was very good looking. Where did you find it/them? If she answered in a way of continuing a conversation I would engage. Otherwise make a short "thanks, have a nice day" and move on.
Same as I do to Gg's. (Not necessarily the "Where did you find the" as I'm not out to make them feel uncomfortable). Small talk in an everyday world.

[NathalieX66]

To be honest with you, treating her as you normally would to any other person is the ultimate form of flattery.
I know you may feel the urge to approach someone like this, but from a "girl's" standpoint , it's the same (in TG code language) as getting clocked.

[Lorileah]

Smile, nod, move along, nothing to see here.

[justmetoo]

I would mind my own business. But then, I'm very shy and intorverted and awkward about talking to people I don't know, so that's what I do with anyone unless they talk to me first.

[Angela Campbell]

I would act as if I saw any other lady.

[danielleCD88]

Ok well i learned something new. If previously presented with the opportunity, i would have approached and said hello and tried to initiate a convo, but with the responses here i have been enlightened with new logic on how to deal with this situation. Makes sense. Maybe i felt that way because im eager to meet someone like myself as i have yet to do? Thanks for the insight ladies :)

[CassandraSmith]

My first reaction was to protect her. I looked around and made sure that no one had clocked her and I was ready to make a diversion if anything happened. I'm actually not 100% certain either. Also, she was younger so I didn't want to appear to be a lech either so I just continue eating my lunch and didn't look up again. I admit, I was incredibly curious and also kind of admiring her gutsyness too.

I think that's going to be my conscious strategy from now on too: protection and safety.

[Leah Lynn]

Danielle, if you want to meet up, click Forum, go down to Meeting up, and see if anyone in your area is looking. Otherwise, post that you're looking to meet, join someone. Suggest a GNO (Girl's Night Out) in the area, or ask if there is one you can join. Nothing could compare to a GNO with like minded sisters.

Leah

[lingerieLiz]

Several years ago I saw one at a local mall. He was 80% passable. No one was noticing him but he was scared to death and walked stiff much like a person about to commit a crime. As he moved around a display he steped directly in front of me about 5 ft ahead. I just smilled and said easy there, relax and went on. He got the message. As I circled back to meet my wife I saw him again and he smiled and noded. He no longer looked like a deer in headlights and was much more passable.

[Eryn]

I'd treat her as I would any other woman with whom I am not acquainted. I'd smile, nod and if the opportunity afforded itself hold a door for her.

Some of us are very sensitive to being "made," even by a well-meaning sister.

[ArleneRaquel]

IMO Eryn is totally correct on what the best reaction should be.

[Melissa Rose]

Like most others, I would not seek her out and only speak to her if it came about in the course of natural interactions. I would treat her with respect and dignity like any other person since that is the way I want to be treated by strangers. I would not dream of outing her even if it was just to myself. Additionally, I would not want to make the mistake of potentially ruining her day by reading her or mistaking a GG for a cross dresser.

[AmyGaleRT]

Yes, I do think Eryn is right; treat her exactly as if she were any other GG you don't know, which means not trying to force an interaction. Just smile, take note, and move on.

Except that there would also be part of myself that would be telling myself, "See? She's out here just like everybody else! If SHE can do it, YOU can do it!" :)

- Amy

[CharlotteCD]

I can't imagine anything more embarrassing than going out and having the illusion that you pass shattered by another CD or whatever.

[Andy66]

It depends... usually I say nothing. Sometimes I compliment a piece of clothing. But occasionally, when my brain isnt running on all cylinders, I have been known to just stare and say Youre beauuuuuutiful. LOL. That can get me either a shy thank you or a dirty look.

[Erica Marie]

I would smile. Not say a thing but, maybe , Hi, if they looked at me too. Then I would go about my own business and feel better about myself knowing I truly am not alone in this big world. It would be true motivation for me to get my scared butt out into the real world.

[stephNE]

I have seen a couple, and I always take a quick look to check them out, but not a long look. Once however, she was looking my way, caught my eye, and I winked at her, she sort of blushed and turned away. I probably scared the s*** out of her, but I hope I made her day.

[manemami]

i will smile and make her assured of safety and give her the necessary compliments and suggestions will love to have coffee with her

[Michelle (Oz)]

I was out dressed at a local gallery recently and said 'hello' in my male voice to one of the security guards who passed close by. Although I usually prefer to blend, I do like on occasions to interact with others.

Soon after he caught up to me in a quiet exhibition and asked if I lived locally. Hmmm. Said 'yes' and he proceeded to tell me he was a closet CD and wanted a mentor. We chatted briefly and have exchanged emails. I checked whether he had picked me before I spoke. 'Yes' ... which reinforced my view that I don't pass on inspection.

So how did I feel? In one sense I initiated the conversation which pleased him. It did reinforce my view that I will be seen by some as a man in a dress and if I want to continue to go out dressed then I will have to deal with that. If anything, dealing with different circumstances gives me greater confidence when venturing out but it has taken me a long time to get to this point and there are still times that I am fragile, e.g. ladies' restrooms.

I therefore support Eryn's approach ... there is nothing better than to be treated as a lady even knowing that the person may know you are male.

[meganmartin]

I keep some of my female calling cards in my wallet.
If this ever happen i would give her one of my cards and smile.
Just so she would know i mean no harm and as one of the other
post stated would comment on how good she looked.

[AndreaS]

I saw a "sister" a few months back at a musical at a nice theater. She was with a couple of other people and I was not enfemme, so I just admired her and checked out her outfit for the evening. Was wishing I was at the theater myself that night dressed to the nines.

[Crissy Kay]

Most likely I would do nothing.

[Kate Simmons]

Go about my own business most likely. If we happened to have an interchange, it would be a positive one.:)

[sometimes_miss]

I occasionally see a crossdresser in my line of work; all I do is tell they I understand why they do what they do, and add, 'be careful; the world is not always a forgiving place for those of us who don't fit into the roles that they want us to'.

[~Joanne~]

I have only seen one sister out, I was at work and she never actually came inside. At that point of my CDing, I was struggling a lot more with this but would have been fascinated to have a conversation about it. Other than this one time, either I have never seen another sister out or they have passed very well ;) I am always looking though.

[quietprofessional]

I would probably just act normal and if the person had an outfit I liked I would point it out to my wife for a future purchase lol.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't normally go and hit on girls in public and I probably would just scrutinize her closely and take anything on board for my own presentation.
In other words I would do nothing unless called on for assistance.

[cathie pantyhose]

I used to see a lovely gurl almost weekly when we lived in N Atlanta in the Publix grocery store. My wife always wondered why I wanted to go grocery shopping. One time, I tossed a note casually in her cart with my phone # in hopes to meet for coffee and have a friend who enjoyed dressing but never heard from her. I identified myself as a cd as well but I guess she wanted to be left to herself. Now we live in Boulder, Co area, I haven't seen one but I'd smile and say hi at least

[Foxglove]

I was out dressed at a local gallery recently and said 'hello' in my male voice to one of the security guards who passed close by. Although I usually prefer to blend, I do like on occasions to interact with others.

Soon after he caught up to me in a quiet exhibition and asked if I lived locally. Hmmm. Said 'yes' and he proceeded to tell me he was a closet CD and wanted a mentor. We chatted briefly and have exchanged emails. I checked whether he had picked me before I spoke. 'Yes' ... which reinforced my view that I don't pass on inspection.


I'd be delighted if something like this happened to me--but my circumstances are very different from most people's. I'm out full time in a very small town, so I doubt there are many people left at this point who don't know me. As small as this town is, I can't believe I'm the only transperson here. I'd be delighted if a brother or sister would approach me so we could get to know each other.

However, if I was in another town/city for a day out, I don't know that I'd be pleased to know someone had made me. Or maybe I'd be OK with it if it gave me the chance to meet a brother/sister. There's precious few of us out in the open in my little corner of the world, and it is a bit lonely.

Annabelle

[Princess Chantal]

I'd be a gentleman and offer her help with her picture taking..... I'm sure she'd appreciate a fabulous full body picture with the background scenery instead of the usual up the nose close-up shot or "flash in the mirror" distance shot

BTW I am just kidding around. I'd treat her just like any other individual and just go on with my way with no second looks.... unless of course she has quite an attractive oh la la appearance, then she deserves a second look and maybe even more looking over LOL

[Michelle (Oz)]

There's precious few of us out in the open in my little corner of the world, and it is a bit lonely.
Annabelle

That's true Annabelle. It can be somewhat lonely. That is why I do engage on occasions with staff at venues, cafes and the like. There is a degree of safety behind anonymity.

[Stevie]

I would be shy and go in the opposite direction. She would probably pick it up right away it was me under those clothes.

[Lawren]

That depends on how she is presenting. If she looks like something that crawled off 42nd St., I will not engage her. However, if she is trying her best to look decent and/or pass, I will speak kindly and try to converse with her. After all, a bit of kindness can do a lot for her self esteem.

[Jaymees22]

With my luck I would probably mistake a GG for one of us and embarrass us both..Jaymee

[Foxglove]

With my luck I would probably mistake a GG for one of us and embarrass us both..Jaymee

Which is one good reason to say nothing at all. That would be my sort of luck as well. From time to time I do see a woman I suspect might be one of ours. But I keep my lips zipped.

[Michaella]

Well I did, last week. I thought it best to not say or do anything. I thought she looked pretty good, but I did not want to cause any embarrassment or create an incident.

Michaella

[mikiSJ]

Those of us who have or are sharing a similar experience, simply smile and nod and move along. The smile and nod is universal for guys have or are doing the same thing. Combat 'vets or CDers, it is the knowing smile and nod that works.

[jjjjohanne]

So far, when I've seen a crossdresser, I have not had the opportunity to make contact. I have considered pretending to pop a rubber band on my left wrist. I have also considered saying, "I love your ..., where did you buy it?" Probably, I would keep my distance and perhaps give a friendly, "Hello" or "Howdy, ma'am," at the most.

[Annette Anderson]

Walking through my local mall, i saw a girl that i knew,she was walking out of the womans store kinda fast.I said, Hi what's up? ,she said i just got fired,I said for what?,she would not tell me and kept on walking,I followed for a second until i realized she wanted to be alone.I always wondered if it was for being a cd,i never saw her again

[Tasha_Yar]

Usually I'm to nervous to contact anybody, but a few times where I knew for sure it was a sister, I introduced myself and asked the sister if she would like to go get a cup of coffee? I have now met three wonderful people that way, and may take a few more risks. We have shared dressing ideas, makeup skills and, well, just all sorts of tips and techniques with each other. A lot more fun than "hiding in public".

[lynnmcarthur]

I just smile and maybe say hi like a woman would do to another woman.

[Charlene Ogden]

I would probably stand there and YELL at the top of my lungs..."TRANNY ON AISLE 5" !!!! :-) tee hee...just kidding. I like to comfort people so I would either smile in kind way or even give her a soft "hi". It means the world to us to be reassured and loved for who we are. Even the slightest positive glance, or word means a lot. I recently had a positive experience at Payless at Cumberland Mall in Atlanta. I was in drab but hosed under my pants. I was trying on these delicious 5" pumps which I ended up buying. This younger Indian woman walked next to me and checked out some shoes but walked away after a minute or so. 5 minutes later, she came back and looked at the shoes again while right next to me. She then started talking to me saying "can you believe these shoes are only $4?" We made chit chat and I felt good enough to strut up and down the aisle in my pump right in front of her. She was so cool about it. It made me feel like one of the girls. I've had women ask me a couple times out in public about my shoes. It's nice.

[Overthehill]

I was working in the county jail when a pretty CD was brought in to be booked. Not everyone caught it right away but I knew. I think I must have squeezed her hand too much when I did her prints. She looked up at me and winked. I returned the wink. I think she rubbed her hip against me on purpose! I told her I was putting her in a single cell so she wouldn,t get hurt. When she bonded out she walked by me and I read her lips saying "thank you". She also pushed out her lips in a kiss when nobody was looking. Wanted to give here a real kiss but no way in my situation. She must have been transit because I never saw her again and this is a small town.

[Acastina]

My first reaction was to protect her. I looked around and made sure that no one had clocked her and I was ready to make a diversion if anything happened. I'm actually not 100% certain either. Also, she was younger so I didn't want to appear to be a lech either so I just continue eating my lunch and didn't look up again. I admit, I was incredibly curious and also kind of admiring her gutsyness too.

I think that's going to be my conscious strategy from now on too: protection and safety.

Noble instincts. Good on you.

[AllieSF]

This has happened to me a few times where I saw a sister and I was in guy mode. Depending on the situation I have said hello, complimented something about them, made a comment about whatever we were doing and also just left them alone. I just play it by ear and then see what happens.