Hate..

[meghana]

I've never received any hate message from anybody until today. An a**hole from Egypt commented in arabic on one my fb pic which says " Oh! Son of Dirty"... sounds utterly scathful (thanks to babylon translator). I've never asked anybody's approval and i hate people who judge...such a bigot..

I wonder why don't people mend their own business and i laugh at their self righteous attitude. I don't know how he got onto my fb page. Must've got the link from my YT page. Wonder why's he searching crossdresser video anyway...pervert

[ArleneRaquel]

Darlin,
I'm so sorry to hear of your hateful posting on FB. Hugs & best wishes hon, you know that you have loving friends here.

[AmyGaleRT]

Without diverting this thread into less-related matters, all I'll say is, "Consider the source."

So some drive-by Egyptian doesn't like your pictures. So what? I don't think you asked his opinion, nor would you really care what it is.

You have lots of people here who will say differently from him, and I'd like to think our opinion counts for more, because we're more your "peer group" than he is. As for your Facebook...I'm going to send you a friend request, to help counterbalance the negativity, OK? :)

- Amy

[andrea lace]

I tend to keep my dressing issues on this forum only it is attitudes like his and bigotry that made me keep the secret for so long. I am so glad to be out of the closet now and at last I can be myself.

[sarahcsc]

Hi Meghana,

Sigh... this is world we live in unfortunately. You know, there's a lot more to being a crossdresser/TG than just learning how to pass. I believe more importantly, we need to develop a kind of understanding about the hate and misunderstanding we're inviting when coming out into the open.

There are people out there who will venture out of their way to protect or fight for what is important to them, and I am sure I can say the same for you and me. People who hate us often have an underlying agenda they wish to fulfil, except they weren't very creative in the ways they chose to tackle them. Instead of seeking information and understanding, it is definitely easier for them to berate you so to empower themselves.

Sometimes people attack you insidiously the way a lot of religious people do, for example, instead of saying things like "I hate you!" or "you're disgusting!", they say things like "may God have mercy on you." or "I will pray for you." Its very condescending if you know what I mean.

In this case, people might want to preserve their sense of gender identity in order not to pervert what they know. For some people, this matters a lot.

But the long story short, I would advise you to take this opportunity to know yourself better, and accept the fact that you are upset with hate messages (a lot of us will), and learn not to reactive to it negatively the next time it happens.

I've had a number of negative comments myself. Now I think I can brush it off my shoulders and say, "Meh... Not really bothered."

You will need to learn to do that if you want to keep doing what you're doing. :) I wish you all the best.

[ArleneRaquel]

Don't the haters realize that hate kills, their hatred is a sickness and that they only become sicker by spreading their poison.

[GroovyChristy]

I am sad to hear that you were treated this way. No one in the world knows about me yet, except for you all on this forum, and it's just this kind of thing which makes me reluctant to come out to people. My esteem, not being the strongest anyway, would be very hurt. But I would try to remember that hatred is worse for the one who possesses it than the one who it is thrust upon. The writer Thich Nhat Hahn said, and I'm paraphrasing, that when someone makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself.

There will always be people who will hate us. But what can we do? Whoever we are, there is always someone who will want us to be different. All we can do is be ourselves. We are justified in this, and though being the object of hatred is hurtful, you have the love and respect of your fellow ladies here. :hugs:

[suzy1]

You can’t go through life without someone hating you.
I’m the nicest human being that ever walked this earth and I have had people hate me.:straightface:

Get a thick skin girl.:)

[Kate Simmons]

You can't please everyone my friend. I think you look just fine.:)

[stephNE]

These people are always going to be out there. Focus inward, and be the person you want to be, and happiness will follow.

[Tracii G]

Meghana you are a beautiful person and he is a jack ass..
Key thing here is to not respond to his comments.Take the fight out of him by ignoring him.
I had one try to out me on my guy FB page and I ignored him and he went away.
I got outed by a guy on another forum and he even used some of my photobucket pics , I paid no attention to him and still post there.
He got banned and I'm still there.

[Tamara Croft]

He's posted on your FB because of your settings, you need to change them and also just block him. FB is full of idiots that want to make your life hell, don't let them, in the end, they are just sad old losers with nothing better to do :)

[Ariamythe]

So some drive-by Egyptian doesn't like your pictures. So what? I don't think you asked his opinion, nor would you really care what it is.
This is so true. On the other hand, it's amazing how the human brain works: a negative offhand comment by some stranger can sometimes linger more and hurt more than all the positive affirmations in the world. Anxiety and insecurity are brutal sometimes.

[NicoleScott]

I like Ariamythe's reply. But it doesn't have to be that way.
Meghaha, if you let it eat at you, he wins. Blow it off.

[BillieJoEllen]

Meghana, just remember that even though we probably don't know you, you are very much loved here!

[~Joanne~]

He's posted on your FB because of your settings, you need to change them and also just block him. FB is full of idiots that want to make your life hell, don't let them, in the end, they are just sad old losers with nothing better to do :)

I second this, you leave it open to the public and these are the things you will get from the haters as all they know how to do is hate. Ignore the moron.

[reb.femme]

Hi Meghana,

Having lived and worked in the middle east for a few years I have many opinions on their style of life too. However, negativity is a cancer in itself, so let it go is my humble opinion. It's been said on here before, opinions are like a**holes, everyone's got one!

Alternatively, how many have seen your pics and never thought to negatively comment. Thousands I should imagine. :daydreaming:

One brainless, small minded individual. No not me,......HIM! :heehee:

Rebecca

[Annaliese]

I have had a few like that on FB, but I have had more wanting in to my panties, it is fun to say I am not that kind of girl

[Foxglove]

Don't the haters realize that hate kills, their hatred is a sickness and that they only become sicker by spreading their poison.

Well said!


The writer Thich Nhat Hahn said, and I'm paraphrasing, that when someone makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself.


And this one ain't bad, either.


You can’t go through life without someone hating you.
I’m the nicest human being that ever walked this earth and I have had people hate me.:straightface:


This one is Lance Armstrong, right?

As for me, if it's a choice between being trans or being a bigot, I'm perfectly happy being trans.

Annabelle

[SAMANN]

Hmmm an individual from a culture that has made it a point.of honor to hate everyone that is not like them. Oops sorry even those like them. Muslims and Jews have been hating and killing each other for millenia and they are from the same family tree. With that in mind I would say wipe the nanoscopic individual off you 5in stilleto and move on. They ain't worth any more effort than that.

[April_Ligeia]

I don't know how he got onto my fb page. Must've got the link from my YT page. Wonder why's he searching crossdresser video anyway...pervert

This is really the bottom line. Maybe he also gets off on abusing others. I'm glad I'm not him.

[CassandraSmith]

Why would someone bother going to all that trouble? It's bizarre really. Maybe he has a secret fixation that he's unable to really deal with?

[Vickie_CDTV]

Why was he looking for pictures of trans people in the first place?

Someone who hates Americans and hates trans people, using an American internet service to find trans people... gotta love it.

[SandraInHose]

I'm paraphrasing here...but the late Frank Zappa once said you could sit in a closed room all by yourself, doing nothing but breathing, and sure enough SOMEBODY will be offended.

Let it go, consider the source, and along with everything else that has been mentioned in the posts above mine.

[AmyGaleRT]

Hmmm an individual from a culture that has made it a point.of honor to hate everyone that is not like them. Oops sorry even those like them. Muslims and Jews have been hating and killing each other for millenia and they are from the same family tree.

I was trying not to go there in my initial response...but yes, the Egyptian poster was most likely a Muslim and Muslims are not noted for having enlightened attitudes towards LGBT people. And I'll just leave it at that. (Well, that, and I have new Facebook friends as a result of this, which makes me happy. :) )

- Amy

[StephanieJ]

Why would someone bother going to all that trouble? It's bizarre really. Maybe he has a secret fixation that he's unable to really deal with?

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that he's probably projecting. Likely a frustrated cross dresser himself trapped in a society that is very intolerant.

[Eryn]

I suppose that this could be a bit of "blame the victim," but why are you putting yourself out there on Facebook? It's like walking into a 1%er biker bar dressed. Yes, you might get away with it, but chances are someone will express their own lack of male self-confidence through words or violence.

[Missy]

once you open the door on the net it so hard to keep scum out

[ReineD]

As bigoted as Western culture is sometimes against sexual and gender diversity, you know that in certain parts of the world it is even worse, especially in the Middle East. I don't know if they will ever come to tolerate gender and sexual variance.

Ten years ago, you would not have had an issue if your webpages only reached people who lived if not in accepting cultures, then at least tolerating societies. But, everything that you post now goes all over the world, even to the countries that still severely punish homosexuality and cross-gender expression.

So until the rest of the world catches up to the somewhat/semi accepting attitudes of India and the West, don't be surprised if you get some hateful comments from people who live in other countries. Like others have said, just blow them off. They're influenced by a stricter religion than yours is, perhaps.

You might want to disallow all comments to your pages, except your friends? Also, be careful especially now with all the facial recognition software. You would not want a hater to track down your identity and real location based on pics of your face.

[NeKoi]

*Sigh*

I guess its somewhat close to be human nature too be to full of hate, fearing what you do not understand or cannot explain. That would explain a history full of war and senseless homicides.

Why degrade ourselves to this level? Although, I'm not a Christian, but I do agree with returning hate with love. Not the easiest way out, but the objective of it does bring peace to your heart. Makes you a much better person.

=^o^=

[docrobbysherry]

Meghana, let me ask u something?

Would u have preferred it if he had hit on u instead? Maybe using sexy, dirty language and photos? U may have been MORE offended/bothered and may not have been able get rid of him without banning him!

[Foxglove]

I suppose that this could be a bit of "blame the victim," but why are you putting yourself out there on Facebook? It's like walking into a 1%er biker bar dressed. Yes, you might get away with it, but chances are someone will express their own lack of male self-confidence through words or violence.

Yes, but, Eryn, we could ask this question in other ways. E.g., why do I want to go into town dressed? It's because I want to live my life. Is it my fault if I run into someone who doesn't like it?

Or why would a GG post on Facebook? Chances are some jerk somewhere will make some nasty comments. She's just living her life.

The way I see it, everybody, no matter who they are, gives a jerk 1000 opportunities every day to be a jerk. He's not forced to avail of them.

Annabelle

[meghana]

Hey friends..Good to know that i'm being loved here very much. Thanks for all the advice and your point of views..

I certainly don't want guys hitting on me..if he doesn't like what i'm doing..he should've just simply ignored me...instead of venting out his extremist and prejudiced rant against me.You just can't hate a person who doesn't even know you...it's very much irrational. I didn't want to mention the religion part..since it came out...i agree,most of them are tend to be unreasonable,inconsiderate and narrow-minded in their views. I haven't got anything against them and i even got some muslim CD friends.

As for FB, i put myself up there to share my creative side and catch up with some like-minded people. I normally keep everything to my friends..once in a while i make a few public posts for the sake of my followers (..most of them are harmless). I may have to think about altering the settings.

P.S. If it's not for the kinda language that's being used..i wouldn't have bothered too much. I'm very much sensitive person even in real life. Somethings i can't get out my head easily..especially when you're being hated for something that you're not confident of.

[Maria S]

Unfortunately things like Facebook you are left open to all and sundry including people who do not give a monkey's about others feelings.

Maria

[Ariamythe]

Maybe there's a positive side to this. You have chosen not to hide, but to put yourself out there; and now, you've had your first "hater." It was a given, a consequence of putting yourself out there, that it would happen eventually. But now it has. You've got one under your belt. The next one will be easier, and the one after that easier.

[Amanda M]

Meghana - I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. The comment came from a a man whose heritage and culture is to despise and use women - a a culture, which as also (sadly) prevalent in your own country, as witness the recent events in New Delhi. Having lived in the most conservative country in the Middle East for 12 years or so, I am under no illusions about the homocentric attitudes of that part of the world. I have many enlightened Muslim friends, but sadly, their views are much in the minority

You portray yourself as a woman, and frankly, it is almost inevitable that you will attract such medieval attitudes and comments. There is little you can do about it, except to rise above it, and I wish you the strength and courage to do just that.

Don't give up, and don't give in.

Hugs, Amanda.

[CynthiaD]

I've had all sorts of hate mail, but never about crossdressing. Most of it was about things so silly you'd wonder why anyone would care about them in the first place. Just ignore it. It's not worth worrying about.

[AmyGaleRT]

I didn't want to mention the religion part..since it came out...i agree,most of them are tend to be unreasonable,inconsiderate and narrow-minded in their views. I haven't got anything against them and i even got some muslim CD friends.

Yes, it's important to note that every rule has its exceptions. While Muslims in general tend to be LGBT-hostile, there are those that are not, and, in fact, those that are CDs themselves. (And for those sisters I am deeply concerned...they have an even harder row to hoe than we do.)

There's a saying that's frequently used online these days..."Haters gonna hate." It's a reflection of the fact that some people are just going to lash out at anything they find distasteful, without regard to the consequences of their words. So just remember that these poor misguided souls exist, and they hurl their hateful words against you because that's what they do, and that's all they do. Spare them some pity if you must, but don't fret over what they say. Non illegitimi carborundum!

- Amy

[RachelF]

I agree with Tamara. Maybe you have to change your FB settings.

[Eryn]

Yes, but, Eryn, we could ask this question in other ways. E.g., why do I want to go into town dressed? It's because I want to live my life. Is it my fault if I run into someone who doesn't like it?

Or why would a GG post on Facebook? Chances are some jerk somewhere will make some nasty comments. She's just living her life.

The way I see it, everybody, no matter who they are, gives a jerk 1000 opportunities every day to be a jerk. He's not forced to avail of them.

Annabelle

The difference is, if I go out dressed I have reasonable control over where I go and therefore the type of people I encounter. I don't expose myself to undue danger by wandering at random.

If you make yourself public on FB you're inviting every whacko in the world to take a shot at you, with perfect anonymity. That removes any inhibition that they might have had and lets them be as nasty as they please.

Smart GGs, and I have a few in my immediate family, limit their facebook activity to close friends and family. Just because the capability exists to advertise ourselves like Angelyne doesn't mean we have to use it.

[CassandraSmith]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that he's probably projecting. Likely a frustrated cross dresser himself trapped in a society that is very intolerant.

Well, I didn't want to go all psychological but you're dead on. In fact, I'm pretty much convinced he either has a fixation on ******** or he wants to be one of us bad. His hate is almost certainly inwardly directed. Imagine the pain he must be in and the inner turmoil. I'm not foolish enough to put myself into his path but this person is probably miserable on every level. I wish I could help actually.

There's a bigger lesson here also and that is that most of the time when strangers (and even sometimes people close to us) do and say stuff, it has almost nothing to do with us personally (I know that's not flattering but it's almost always true).

[Foxglove]

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that he's probably projecting. Likely a frustrated cross dresser himself trapped in a society that is very intolerant.


Well, I didn't want to go all psychological but you're dead on. In fact, I'm pretty much convinced he either has a fixation on ******** or he wants to be one of us bad. His hate is almost certainly inwardly directed.

I always hesitate to go down this road. It's an easy explanation--and certainly correct in some cases. But I don't automatically assume that it's always true, or even true most of the time. There are people possessed of an honest sort of bigotry, if you want to call it that. They have no ulterior motives for their hatred. They hate simply because that's the sort of thing they do.

Annabelle

[CassandraSmith]

I always hesitate to go down this road. It's an easy explanation--and certainly correct in some cases. But I don't automatically assume that it's always true, or even true most of the time. There are people possessed of an honest sort of bigotry, if you want to call it that. They have no ulterior motives for their hatred. They hate simply because that's the sort of thing they do.

Annabelle

I will heed your words of wisdom here.