Having your cake....And not sharing it.

[Julie York]

I had an interesting discussion with a forum member and we were talking about women accepting cross dressing, or not, and so on.

Well I came up with an interesting analoge.(? doesn't look right but can't spell it for the life of me today)

If you think about things that you really don't enjoy but your SO does...and well it is just their 'thing' whether it is gardening or some music you hate, or an author you can't stand.....Well you might not like it, but as an act of friendship or affection you might buy her that book for Christmas, or you might buy her a set of very expensive gardening snippers or a pack of rare Rose seeds etc. Because you want to show affection! You want to say...Hey I know YOU like this stuff and this is my way to show I care and want to make you happy.

Now this doesn't mean you suddenly got interested and LIKE gardening, or Barry Mannilow does it? You didn't become an enthusiast of either subject. You might hate it just as much as ever.

It is just a sign of affection and a willingness to want your partner to be happy, even though it REALLY isn't your interest at all.

So if someone actually buys you something fem. It doesn't mean they have suddenly got right into it. It doesn't mean they accept it, like it, or wish to have anything to do with it. It does show that they love you and it is simply a way of showing that. So don't get carried away.

Conversely, if a few SOs knew how staggeringly easy it was to make her man melt with gratitude, there'd be a lot more interesting Christmas presents this year.


Discuss in not more than 2000 words (you know who you are!).
Thank you.:D

[Sharon]

Other than the fact that crossdressing is a bit higher on the acceptance meter than gardening or favorite books, you make a good point, Julie.

Even though my wife was accepting of me, she never once bought me a girly Christmas present, and I was disappointed every year when she didn't. She did go shopping with me many times, but it would have meant so much if she surprised me just once.

How many words was that?

[Julie York]

No that's fine Sharon. When it doesn't fit in one page without scrolling (3 times) I'll let you know.:D

[Amelie]

Very Good Julie, nicley thought out.

But, It is all good and well that the SO is a gardner, this is fine as long as she doesn't take hormones and transition into a watermelon.

[sherri]

This is off-topic, but I want you three - Julie, Sharon, Amelie - to know that y'all crack me up. I always read your posts cuz I'm usually gonna get a smile out of it, maybe even a belly laugh. Acerbic wit is such a fine thing ...

[Kimberly]

Now this doesn't mean you suddenly got Barry Mannilow does it?
Hell NO!! :mad:

[Amelie]

This is off-topic, but I want you three - Julie, Sharon, Amelie - to know that y'all crack me up. I always read your posts cuz I'm usually gonna get a smile out of it, maybe even a belly laugh. Acerbic wit is such a fine thing ...

I don't know what acerbic means but if it means being insane then you are right, I am insane. lol

[freshfrankie]

Hello ladies my wife who moved out 2 months ago stopped in friday morning on her way to work and asked if I had any neud trouser socks. Do I have any Neud trouser socks? Is it difficult to say toy boat 5 times fast? I gave her three new pairs in differant shades. Very cute.I know I'll never see them again!:( What we gals have to put up with. :)

Love
Jeannie

[sherri]

I don't know what acerbic means but if it means being insane then you are right, I am insane. lol
Like this:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18868

I sprayed coffee on my computer screen over that one.

Okay, I'll quit hijacking this thread now.

[Julie York]

Neud? She has a speech impediment too?:eek:





But yes I know what you mean. Very generous. Hope she appreciates it.

Amlie: "OMG the hormones I could take! It was the pips! Pips everywhere!"



Anywaaaaaaay.

So back on topic.....

[Christina Nicole]

There are levels of acceptance, tolerance, dislike, and really hate it. Few things in life are binary. The real world is analog with lots of shades. For example you may think that there are only 10 numbers between zero and eleven. In reality, there's an infinite number of real numbers. Going further, that infinite number is smaller than the infinite number of real numbers, which is still smaller than the infinite number of all numbers, yet all are infinite. So go people, and especially wives. While one wife may accept a husband who is into something she thinks is really stupid, like the 3 stooges, another may have a fit every time he plops down to watch it, while another may watch with him, thinking "Why is this warm and intelligent man interested in this? And so it goes, and so it goes. Some can deal with crossdressing and some cannot. Ask why all you want, but people's feelings are inexplicable. Analyze them anyway you want and you will end up with just as many riddles, if not more, than when you started.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

P.S.
Most gardeners grow roses from cuttings. The only people I know who grow them from seeds are very serious gardeners and ones who are trying to create hybrids. It takes a long time to go from seed to flowering plants. Most people want flowers sooner.
C.N.

[Sharon]

No that's fine Sharon. When it doesn't fit in one page without scrolling (3 times) I'll let you know.:D

I save them for my "woe is me" threads. :D

[Julie York]

I'm beginning to know the feeling Sharon.

[Wendy me]

i would so love something fem from my wife for Christmas veary true...and yes i have taged along on some of her trips doing things that i don't have any intrest in yes .i have bought her things that i don't have any intrest in true....hey Julie it would be so cool for her to just once give me something femy...(yes femy)...hell i listen to Barry Mannilow if i get a skirt...........

[Tamara Croft]

I save them for my "woe is me" threads. :DYou do them too?? :OMG: :slap:

I love gardening, Tammys' idea of gardening is 'concrete it', she hates it.... and there's no compromise either... :(

[Maria D]

P.S.
Most gardeners grow roses from cuttings. The only people I know who grow them from seeds are very serious gardeners and ones who are trying to create hybrids. It takes a long time to go from seed to flowering plants. Most people want flowers sooner.
C.N.

What my fiancee tends to do is buy plants, then kill them. This doesn't seem intentional, she just has black fingers. Kind of a plant Angel Of Death.
If she transitioned into a watermelon, I wouldn't be happy at all, since I prefer honeydew, but I'd support her.
Well, until she rotted and the cloud of fruitflies started beating me with sticks, like last time.

I do rather like the idea of growing cake though. Do you think a cake graft onto decent pelargonium rootstock would take? I'll try fruit first, and work up to chocolate sponge.

As to the point of the thread, if you look at it from the 'hobby' aspect, like stamp collecting or model making, even watching football, then yes, I can see your point. You don't have to 'understand' a love of Barbara Striesand to buy a CD and, more importantly, listen to it when she sticks it on loudly.
And sings along.
Badly.
Anyway, enough of my Mum. I agree with the principle, though crossdressing carries more baggage than a CD of Babs. (CD pun intended, yes.)

Take care
Maria
xxx

[Jillian310]

My wife is very accepting that I wear panties 24 7. She frequently surprises me by buying some for me, usually cotton hi cuts for warm weather wear. And she never is bothered when I add a three pack of bikinis or thongs or satin hi cuts to my wardrobe. On the other hand, I like to pick up some V S nylon/spandex styles for her when I shop at the malls. We love to admire each other when dressed in panties purchased by the other. And, believe me, there are so many wonderful effects that I need not go into here! :D

[Clarissa3d]

Ok, this is the best reason why I love this forum! I laugh and cry all at the same time!

I get the run of emotions in a matter of minutes just reading through a thread.
*********Amlie is just my favorite gurl here, past and present! ********

To this thread I really don't have one thing to add other than laughter and alot of tears of joy.
:roflmao:
Thank you all!

[Helana]

Discuss in not more than 2000 words (you know who you are!).
Thank you.:D
Fortunatley being temporarily dyslexic during the holiday season I see all my posts as being just one big word.:D

Can I bitch slap you now:p

My girlfriend likes Barry Mannilow but I am not insane enough to ever contemplate buying her an alblum unless it comes with a complementary set of ear plugs.:D

[Tiffy]

All of the above maybe true. But, I do not know one SO who buys something fem for their SO's when they do not accept their SO's dressing.

April

[Raychel]

I think that April Marie has a point there. If the SO is totally unaccepting then I am sure that she would not be buying fem gifts for her mate. Maybe if she was borderline, she knew about the dressing, but didn't want any part of it or didn't ever want to see you. Then she might get you something.

But I think that the other side of the coin is also true. I have bought tickets for the theater tickets and sent my wife and her friends in a limousine. Sure the show was something that I really had no desire to see, But if that is what she enjoys who am I to say that she can't. And just because I picked up the tab for the night doesn't mean that I want to see the show.

So if you do get that lovely nightgown for christmas, Go over and give her a big hug and thank her. But just remember that she may have purchased it for you because she loves you and wants you to have fun and enjoy it. And unless she actually says "Go put it on and lets see how it looks" then she may still not want to see the show.

[TGMarla]

Very good point, Raychhel. I could only dream that my wife would buy me something girly for Christmas. The thought is so out there, I don't give it any credence at all. And she likes to listen to Josh Grobin, who makes me wretch. And one of these days, the Lifetime Channel is going to release a DVD set of "Year One" or something like that, and I'm absolutely NOT going to buy it for her any more than I'm going to buy her any Josh Grobin CDs. You see, she listens to that crap, and watches the endless varieties of the very same movie on the Lifetime Channel while I'm home, but she sure wouldn't want me pursuing this particular little hobby of mine while she's home. Uh uh! No way!

Perhaps I could learn acceptance of the Lifetime Channel and Josh Grobin in exchange for her acceptance of...of...Nah. Forget it. It's just not worth it.

[Raychel]

Ahh, but doesn,t every relationship have some give and take in it. Maybe if you would cuddle up with her and cry with her thru that movie, Just maybe she would think otherwise about your dressing. Or at least look the other way while you are doing it.

Just a thought:rolleyes:

[Christina Nicole]

As to the point of the thread, if you look at it from the 'hobby' aspect, like stamp collecting or model making, even watching football, then yes, I can see your point. You don't have to 'understand' a love of Barbara Striesand to buy a CD and, more importantly, listen to it when she sticks it on loudly.

I read something about Barbara Streisand the other day. She was the lounge singer who was sort-of popular in 1970. Right? Wow! Imagine that an old lady like that is still around. Good point about not having to understand something to buy it.


Ahh, but doesn,t every relationship have some give and take in it. Maybe if you would cuddle up with her and cry with her thru that movie, Just maybe she would think otherwise about your dressing. Or at least look the other way while you are doing it.

I doubt it. Been there, done, that, got the crying towel. Doesn't help. Now when she gets a "woman's movie" she says "You liked the other one." What's that saying about making the bed and having to lie in it? The housekeeper changes the bedclothes every week... How about some changes for me?


Very good point, Raychhel. I could only dream that my wife would buy me something girly for Christmas. The thought is so out there, I don't give it any credence at all. And she likes to listen to Josh Grobin, who makes me wretch. And one of these days, the Lifetime Channel is going to release a DVD set of "Year One" or something like that, and I'm absolutely NOT going to buy it for her any more than I'm going to buy her any Josh Grobin CDs. You see, she listens to that crap, and watches the endless varieties of the very same movie on the Lifetime Channel while I'm home, but she sure wouldn't want me pursuing this particular little hobby of mine while she's home. Uh uh! No way!

Perhaps I could learn acceptance of the Lifetime Channel and Josh Grobin in exchange for her acceptance of...of...Nah. Forget it. It's just not worth it.

My wife likes Josh Grobin, too. I am not much more fond of him that Marla is. However, I bought for her several of his CDs and DVDs, not to mention, but I will, lots of clothes and jewelry over the years. I'm still waiting for even a simple pair of earrings. They don't even have to be diamonds! Or even any precious stone! Costume would be a-ok! But I'll probably end up with something exciting, like drill bits, for Christmas. <sigh>

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[erica12b]

ok i love the thought ,of the so buying somthing girly,(love it love it)
but take it one step more what do you say or do after you open it , in privet, in public, with mom or dad kids ect... that could be a nother bad nightmare

[DonnaT]

I love Josh Groban's voice! In fact I turned my wife onto him. :p

Last year my wife placed several items under the tree for "Donna", but hadn't counted on the kids asking who Donna was. Well, the kids know now, so if Donna gets a present this year, there will be no more placing it back under the tree saying that it is just someone we know.

[Christina Nicole]

ok i love the thought ,of the so buying somthing girly,(love it love it)
but take it one step more what do you say or do after you open it , in privet, in public, with mom or dad kids ect... that could be a nother bad nightmare

What you say when you get any gift, "Ooh honey! Just what I always wanted." ...even if it is just a box of drill bits.

<sigh>

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Lauren_T]

...
It is just a sign of affection and a willingness to want your partner to be happy, even though it REALLY isn't your interest at all.
...
Tell it, Sister! Amen!


Discuss in not more than 2000 words (you know who you are!)Now what in Hell am I to do with these other 1996 words? :confused:

[Lauren_T]

...and just who is this Josh Wassname, anyway? :confused:

After all these years, I have finally reached the stage where I can see the name 'Yanni' without puking up yesterday's breakfast, and now you spring this 'Josh' character on me. Am I gonna hafta resume stockpiling anti-nausea meds again? :sick:

[Keri]

Erica states "what do you say or do after you open it , in private, in public, with mom or dad kids etc? ... that could be another bad nightmare".

If my gal gave me a satin nightie under the tree, knowing that "others" would see the gift opening, I'd see that as being maliciously sadistic!

Better to get the intimate gift (and you :angel: ) laid out in private.