What an opportunity!

[FaithGrace]

Okay ladies, I've got a cool opportunity but it may expose my cross-dressing to my family... what to do?!? A couple months ago I was renting a room from a woman in her home that knew about my crossdressing. However, she liked it a little too much and kept flirting with me, telling me that she wanted to **** the **** out of me, etc., which made me very uncomfortable. I am straight but was NOT attracted to her at all. So, I told her that I was giving her 30 days notice and was going to move out. Later that evening she calls the police and tells them that I threatened her and they made me vacate immediately because we did not do a lease (although I showed them a copy of the rent check she cashed). Anyway, I am suing her for the rent that I paid, my motel bills, and my storage unit that I had to get (around $1500).

Now here's the cool part. I got a letter from the producer's of the show Judge Joe Brown and, after I called and told them the story they want us on the show! An all expense paid trip for me and a guest to L.A. for 4 days 3 nights? Hell yeah! My ex-roommate has agreed to it as well so we're booked to film on Feb. 13th!

I'm hoping to use this as an opportunity to be a positive representative for the trans community and conduct myself as a secure, confident professional and, most importantly, as a lady. I'll let me ex-roommate be the psychotic one. :bonk:

Now, here is the only part that has me nervous. I am definitely going to appear en femme and use a fake name but my parents watch the show religiously... I'm worried that I'd be recognized and called out on it but think that I look and act so different as a woman that maybe they wouldn't know it was me. And part of me is thinking that even if they did recognize me, at least my secret would be out and I wouldn't have to hide it from them anymore, even though it is earlier than I intended it to be by a few months. We live in different states so I haven't been worried about getting exposed... until now.

I'm still trying to decide if I should just tell them before the show airs so they aren't caught off-guard but I've got time to ponder that for a while yet.

[outhiking]

I suggest that you tell them beforehand; otherwise, think of the shock that they are in for if they do recognize you. I would guess they would be hurt to learn it from Judge Joe Brown. Good luck.

[suzy1]

Your own family are bound to recognise you aren’t they?
It does sound like a good opportunity though Grace. Good for you.:)

We don’t get that show over here…..blast!:eek:

[Melissa Rose]

While it is unlikely to happen, assume everyone you know is going to find out. If one person finds out, most with eventually find out. Is this the way you want one or more people to find out about your cross dressing? Seriously?

I have seen only 3 or 4 of the court reality shows, but I recall one where the defendant appeared en femme since it was part of the case about the poor quality of a female impersonator hired for a party. The judge unpleasantly grilled the defendant about appearing "in drag", why it was necessary, etc.. It was not good, and this was a case where her appearance was the main point of contention. While her appearance was not bad, it was not great either. I would have immediately read her in person or in pictures. If your being en femme has no direct bearing to your case, which it does not based on what you have described since it is a rent and financial dispute, be ready to explain yourself and prepared to be labeled the psychotic one. Remember these shows are about entertainment, and the entertainment could come at your expense and in a very humiliating and public manner. Do you want to leave your coming out in the hands of a television show producer, director and editor who are way more interested in entertainment and ratings than your dignity and reputation? Are you ready to be on YouTube and other internet outlets for the whole world to see? If you want to out yourself, do it under your conditions and terms. I have the sense that you are wrapped up in a form of pink fog and not thinking clearly.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess you have a decision to make. Once the cat is out of the "bag" you can't put it back in Hon. Good luck.:)

[Kimberly Renee]

YOU may use a fake name but what's to keep HER from outing you? This is a not-so-good way to have your family/friends find out. Tell them before hand or cancel the deal.

[FaithGrace]

Hi Melissa, while I do agree with most of what you are saying I think you are making a lot of assumptions about me, this particular show, and the circumstances.

1) I do now live full-time as a woman, I'm not just an occasional part-time cross-dresser. This is my life now so I am going to tell my family eventually, but I wanted to be doing this at least a year before I exposed 'Faith' to them.

2) The crossdressing was the main issue for the sexual harassment/eviction and, while it isn't absolutely necessary to appear en femme, I would much rather take this opportunity to appear as a positive representation for our community then someone who is obviously ashamed or scared of what they do. I am very happy and comfortable with who I am now.

3) If you've ever seen this particular show, and I've only seen it a few times while visiting my parents, the Judge has always been respectful and fair unless the person in the court room is acting like an ass.

[Melissa Rose]

YOU may use a fake name but what's to keep HER from outing you? This is a not-so-good way to have your family/friends find out. Tell them before hand or cancel the deal.
If you produce a rent check with your real name and signature on it, and you use a fake one on the show, the judge is probably going to question the discrepancy. Be ready to have your real name revealed. If this is the way you want to tell your parents, go for it!

[Brooke Smith]

Re-read post 4 ,Melissa Rose has it right. If you have weighed the consequences and still want to do the show please tell your family first.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Totally agree with Melissa Rose. TV will spin it how they want, you want no ammunition for them.
Also letting your family find out via a TV show, is not the way to invoke trust and understanding from your family.

[famousunknown]

1) I do now live full-time as a woman, I'm not just an occasional part-time cross-dresser.

Let me make sure I have this right.
Your profile says "43 yr old straight crossdresser that is fairly new to this"
And you're already living full-time as a woman ?
ummmm, ok....
I say go for it, it will be fun to watch.
Just remember these court shows and not that far from Jerry Springer.

[FaithGrace]

Totally agree with Melissa Rose. TV will spin it how they want, you want no ammunition for them.
Also letting your family find out via a TV show, is not the way to invoke trust and understanding from your family.

I agree that I need to let my family know first... even if they don't recognize me I'm sure it'll somehow get back to them eventually. I'm not worried about getting 'outed' on the show by my real name by the Judge or the ex-roommate, the producers are putting it in the contract that they can only use my 'assumed name' so I'm safe there.

[Stephanie47]

These shows are always pre recorded for airing at a later date. If the woman is going to 'out' you using your real name that may be a breach of the contract and edited out. I'd make sure with the producers the degree of your true identity is discussed. Also, I would think the woman is going to be at some risk also, being identified as some kind of sexual predator or a woman whose advances were spurned. So, you're potentially outed to family, maybe not if the makeup artist is really good, and, she, unless disguised, is outed to her family and friends.

Personally, I'd stick with small claims court or just absorb the $1,500 as a part of life's lessons. Even in small claims courts in small locales, the allegations made may make it to the local newspaper with true identities. Interesting choices.

[FaithGrace]

Let me make sure I have this right.
Your profile says "43 yr old straight crossdresser that is fairly new to this"
And you're already living full-time as a woman ?
ummmm, ok....

Yes, I started dressing just after Thanksgiving 2012 (bought my first clothes and makeup on Black Friday) and within three weeks I was living full-time. I've always known I wanted to crossdress, but once I started I knew that this was the life that I wanted to have permanently. When you know, you know!

[famousunknown]

Yes, I started dressing just after Thanksgiving 2012 (bought my first clothes and makeup on Black Friday) and within three weeks I was living full-time. I've always known I wanted to crossdress, but once I started I knew that this was the life that I wanted to have permanently. When you know, you know!

I think you may hold some kind of new record.

[DonnaT]

Since you dress full time, if the question comes up in court why are you dressed in drag, you have an honest and ready answer. You're transgender and this is how you dress all the time.

If your folks know you were evicted and have filed a law suit, I reckon they would be able to put 2 and 2 together if they saw a similar trial on TV.

You might want to tell them everything, so they don't spread the word to friends that you are going to be on TV.

My understanding is that the TV court show pays the award, if one is given. At least on Judge Judy where the producers' employees call both parties and ask them questions about their case to make sure it is suitable for Judge Judy. If the parties agree to be on the show and sign a waiver, agreeing that arbitration in Sheindlin's court is final and cannot be pursued elsewhere (unless she dismisses the lawsuit without prejudice), their case will air on Judge Judy. The award limit on Judge Judy, as on most 'syndi-court' shows (and most small claims courts in U.S.), is $5,000. The award for each judgment is paid by the producers of the show, from a fund reserved for each case. About forty percent of the cases are money judgments, while sixty percent are dismissed.

[Alice B]

If you were planning on telling them in a few months then why not tell them now, get that over with and do the show without any fears. Sounds like a great opportunity and I'm sure many of us would love to see the show when it is aired.

[Jorja]

You appear to know exactly what you are doing FaithGrace. I hope it all works out well for you.

[Vickie_CDTV]

A friend of mine appeared on Judge Alex a few years ago; however, in his case, he wanted the promotion (to plug his business) and to embarrass the neighbor who was being abusive to his trans clients. In your case, the promotion is really a bad thing. Since you have a family, I would not air your laundry (whether it is dirty or not) in public.

And the show will live forever on youtube (you can see many/most episodes of Judy Judy ever aired there.)

[pink.switch.love]

do let us know if you are going to be on the show... I usually don't watch crap like that but would for you!

[Rogina B]

Everyone deserves their 15 minutes of fame..it will be great fun..go for it!!

[chanelgurl]

Go for it girl! If you really dont want your parents seeing it, Find out when its going to air, and take them out for lunch! Hopefully they cant work the pvr!

[Diversity]

I'd suggest that you let your parents know, so that they won't be shocked if they determine it is you. They are your parents, and I would assume that you would not want to hurt them. With regard to the show - what an opportunity. Good luck to you, and I hope you win your case against the woman.
Di

[docrobbysherry]

I had an opportunity to go on Judge Judy's show in a similar situation. I evicted a roommate and it got VERY NASTY before it was over!:Angry3:
Including court orders and the police being called!:doh:

Afterwards, we filed counter claims for damages in Small Claims Court. My now ex roommate submitted it to the Judy show. They pay BOTH parties their damage claims to show up. When they called me, I declined. Didn't want all our S--- to air on TV. My ex roommate lied her brains out in court and received damages of $100!:sad:

Altho I was pissed as hell, my friends pointed out I had actually won! Because if I had won $100, she would have appealed and the crap with her would have continued! Instead, for $100 this horrible person was out of my life forever!:thumbsup:

Faith, please think thru what u r doing before going on national TV and being manipulated by both the show producers and your ex roommate!:eek:

[Allison Chaynes]

Let us all know when it airs!

[MissTee]

I think you may hold some kind of new record.

Umm, yes, I was so thinking this too :iagree: . That's is so pink fog, so please be careful. Also, they are your parents and they will know. Parents have that kind of intuition and you should keep it real with them.

[ReineD]

1) I do now live full-time as a woman, I'm not just an occasional part-time cross-dresser. This is my life now so I am going to tell my family eventually, but I wanted to be doing this at least a year before I exposed 'Faith' to them.

Then under the circumstances, I think you owe it to your parents to move up the date of disclosure. You were planning to tell them in just a few months anyway. You do not want them to be shocked while watching a show you say they watch religiously. You say that in a way, you're hoping that your television appearance might let the secret out of the bag, but I don't think that letting them know this way is considerate of them or their feelings. I also think there is a greater chance than not, that they will recognize you. I would recognize my sons even if they wore wigs, makeup, and women's clothing. It's not just the face, it's the body language, the physique, the voice, the facial expressions.

You will also likely need to sign a contract agreeing to treat the televised proceedings as an Arbitration or a Mediation that is binding, even though you are not entering a real Courtroom. So, you will need to use your real name and it is likely that they will not allow you to use a fake name on television.

And last, have a look at the video on Judge Joe Brown's website. Click on the link under "Judge Joe Brown - Promoter Of Manhood". I'd ask his producers what his stance is on TGs before making a decision as to whether you want to appear on his show dressed. Remember, they're into this for the ratings:

http://www.judgejoebrown.com

You can also read his own website bio here:
http://www.judgejoebrown.com/bios.php

But this may be even more telling, from Wikipedia:


The harshest of Brown's tirades have been delivered to males on the series. In these moments, Brown flings out his personal values and guidance at men, such as: grow up and be a man, you don't know nothing about manhood, quit acting like you haven't got any "home training", be a civilized human being and stop trying to be "cool", quit acting like a "thug", take responsibility, have a sense of class and decency, etc. Brown has been criticized for these behaviors as "lacking self-control."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Brown_(judge)

Good luck!

[Genny B]

If one neighbor see's the show and mentions it to your folks before you do, that would probably offend them more. You have to tell them before. It's the right thing to do. I also would watch this if I knew when it was on! Good luck!

[Beverley Sims]

Yep! Time to tell the family, get all the grief over and then go for it.
You will then be out and about and have no guilt about it.
What an opportunity.

[Carol A]

PLEASE let us all know the date the show will air as I will record it, you are a true rep for all of us

[Sharon B.]

I think I would have to tell them before the show.

[Jana]

I'm sorry, but this doesn't add up.

If I understand your story correctly, you were kicked out for rejecting the landlady's sexual advances, not for being trans. And you are seeking to recover financial damages that have nothing to do with being trans either. Then how's this an opportunity to represent the community? How's this case even connected to you being trans? I'm sorry to say, but I feel you are getting carried away and confusing things a bit.

Answer truthfully: if this were a REAL court of law, would you even consider presenting a fake name and going en femme?

Right. Didn't think so.

[meganmartin]

Faith,

wow what a story...I have no advice other than if your seriously considering going enfemme you may want to brace your family.

Good luck and let me know the outcome.

[Ame Anderson]

Treat your parents the way you would want your child to treat you. Whether it's about cross dressing or where they should live or what to have for dinner. By default you should respect them first and the show should come second.

[Ame Anderson]

I'm sorry, but this doesn't add up.

If I understand your story correctly, you were kicked out for rejecting the landlady's sexual advances, not for being trans. And you are seeking to recover financial damages that have nothing to do with being trans either. Then how's this an opportunity to represent the community? How's this case even connected to you being trans? I'm sorry to say, but I feel you are getting carried away and confusing things a bit.

Answer truthfully: if this were a REAL court of law, would you even consider presenting a fake name and going en femme?

Right. Didn't think so.

Exactly, this may just be you being used as fodder for ratings not righting a wrong.

[FaithGrace]

If you were planning on telling them in a few months then why not tell them now, get that over with and do the show without any fears. Sounds like a great opportunity and I'm sure many of us would love to see the show when it is aired.

This is exactly what I've decided to do. Thanks to all of the encouragement I've received here and elsewhere I know I'll have to let them know before the show airs. I don't want them to get hurt by finding out the 'wrong way'. I'm glad that being on this show is giving me the motivation to get this talk over with!

Thanks Ladies!

:bighug:

[Kimberly Renee]

Exactly, this may just be you being used as fodder for ratings not righting a wrong.

In TV land, it's always about the ratings. I have a friend who agreed to be on a reality show. The show was about preparing for a fancy event, the catering, decorations, etc. As a decorator, my friend is very good at what he does (hence why they invited him on), but to advance/concoct a story line the show portrayed him as a bumbling fool who barely got his sh*t together before the event. Of course they never told my friend about this. Through editing & staging certain scenarios they got what they wanted & he never knew until it aired. All that "free exposure" wasn't good for him or his company.

Don't be fooled into thinking the producers care about you or your cause. You are just a means to an end and they will exploit whatever they need to to get the ratings.

[BRANDYJ]

I'm sorry, but this doesn't add up.

If I understand your story correctly, you were kicked out for rejecting the landlady's sexual advances, not for being trans. And you are seeking to recover financial damages that have nothing to do with being trans either. Then how's this an opportunity to represent the community? How's this case even connected to you being trans? I'm sorry to say, but I feel you are getting carried away and confusing things a bit.

Answer truthfully: if this were a REAL court of law, would you even consider presenting a fake name and going en femme?

Right. Didn't think so.

This is my thoughts too. Your cross dressing has nothing at all to do with this case. I think it would be a big mistake risking outing yourself to many including perhaps your employer. I see no reason for you to appear on female clothes.

[FaithGrace]

I'm sorry, but this doesn't add up.

If I understand your story correctly, you were kicked out for rejecting the landlady's sexual advances, not for being trans. And you are seeking to recover financial damages that have nothing to do with being trans either. Then how's this an opportunity to represent the community? How's this case even connected to you being trans? I'm sorry to say, but I feel you are getting carried away and confusing things a bit.

Answer truthfully: if this were a REAL court of law, would you even consider presenting a fake name and going en femme?

Right. Didn't think so.

To clear things up, I am going on the show as a woman because that is who I am now, not because of the details of the case. I do now live full-time as a woman and I was planning to appear in REAL court en femme. I'm only using a fake name, which the producers have agreed to do, to protect my identity from the haters out there.

[anastasiafantasia]

I concur with Kimberly Renee.Producers earn their profits in the realm of reality tv from scandalising people and through clever editing and staging increase their ratings and thus profits which it's all about with reality shows.

After you've signed the contract, i don't believe you would have any recourse regards how they portray you and usually the more outrageous the better the viewing figures nowadays.