Update

[ReneeT]

Update

I don't post here much anymore but I thought I would give an update on my transition journey. *

The focus of the second half of 2012 for me was deciding on a surgeon for FFS and getting that scheduled. *I completed that in December and am on the schedule for early June, deposit paid. *As FFS marks my "official" transition at work and the remainder of my life that i have not yet transitioned in (very little left, actually), i *now have a very concrete timeline. *133 days, to be exact. *Yes, I am counting. *Every.Single.Day.

With a firm "jump off" point, the planning and execution of transitioning at work has slipped into high gear. *I have a transition team consisting of HR and Diversity that meets monthly, and a consultant to guide the company - Jamison Greene - has been hired. *My colleagues and matrix partners, as well as external clients, have been stratified according to timing and method of communication of my transition, and the notification has begun. *My first conversation was with the Director of my division, a wonderful man who I have been fairly close to for many years. *While it was difficult to start the conversation, it went extremely well and he was incredibly gracious and kind. *That took place last week. *This week I have been at corporate headquarters for team meetings and arranged to have dinner, separately, with two people i am very, very close to personally and professionally. *These conversations were particularly worrisome as I value our relationships greatly and, while i thought the risk was low, i was a afraid of damaging those relationships. *Those fears were entirely unfounded, as it turned out - they are both incredibly supportive. *Interestingly, only one of the two had any suspicions based on my physical changes, and she was thinking i might be bi. *She listed off all the changes she has noticde - she got them all- and said she had been noticing things evolve for about 2 yrs. *That is about how long i have been on hrt......

Tomorrow I talk with a gentleman from the operational side of HR ( up until now i have been working directly with our corporate HR president) who i have been friendly with for many years, *and in mid -Feb i got back to HQ to talk with the global segment president (my boss's boss's boss's boss). *He has been prepped by HR a little but not on the specific nature of the situation. *After talking with him we will decide when and how to notify my direct manager and his manager. *With that complete i will have personally met with everyone between me and the CEO, and he will also be briefed.

In my personal life, my wife, from whom i separated last June after 23 yrs of marriage, *and I are still trying to figure out what roles we will play in each others lives. *We both desire an ongoing emotional relationship, but neither of us has a clue what that will look like. * We are taking it one step at a time, and we definately have our ups and downs. *We havent talked divorce and havent separated our finances, but those things will have to come. * My 19 yo son continues to do well with this while my 17 yo daughter is struggling but slowly coming to terms with things. *My circle of friends, mostly from church, is widening and friendships are deepening. *I have never had a better, more active social life, not even when i was in a fraternity in college.

Physically, not much is happening until surgery. *I am working to complete electrolysis by then, going to Phoenix every six weeks for muti-day extravaganzas. *I go back next week and will squeeze two more visits in before June. *The progress is excellent. *I sure wish i had started there- *i would have been done long ago.

Emotionally, things are a bit tough right now, especially after hving spent a week at HQ with all *my colleagues. *When surgery was "down the road" with no date set, it was mostly exciting and just a bit scary. *Now it's really exciting and really scary. *I am very reassured by the positive reactions and tremendous support, especially from the leadership of my company, but I still feel like *I am about to step into the void. *133 days. *

[LeaP]

Renee,

Thank you for the update, thank you for posting such a detailed description of your process and preparation. You are doing an extraordinary job in approaching your transition properly in a corporate context. Sharing details such as this is worth it's weight in gold to any who follow.

I sense your trepidation but also your resolve. I'm very happy that your initial meetings have gone so well and I pray that these early, positive reactions you received continue.

[JustWendy]

Renee –
Thanks so much for sharing this update with us. You have been so open with us over the past couple of years – sharing the ups and downs, the obstacles and pleasant surprises, your well thought out transition steps and the personal impact all of this has had on you, your family, your friends, and your co-workers. It’s a story you’ve expressed so well and deserves a happy ending. My best wishes for a circle of friends that continues to widen and deepen and for a life that continues to blossom and prosper.
Wendy

[outhiking]

Let the countdown begin! We can't wait to hear more of your journey.

[ColleenA]

Great update. With all the planning, it is obvious you are a Type A personality. :heehee:

Btw, I love the photo on your profile. I suggest you update your avatar to it.

[RachelDenise]

Renee, congratulations on moving forward in a concrete fashion. You're my heroine. I wish I had your courage!

[LisaM]

Renee,
That was a wonderful update. Congrats and good luck!

[Beverley Sims]

I would have thought this was the most difficult time now, having done most of the groundwork with your company and hopefully you and your wife can work at it amicably.
The void as you call it is 133 days away and I suppose scary because of the surgery. I do think you have gone through the hard part.
Remain positive and good luck for the future.

[Aprilrain]

Glad things are going as planned, I'm sure all will go we'll considering the amount of preparation you have put in to this.

[LeaP]

Glad things are going as planned, I'm sure all will go we'll considering the amount of perpetration you have put in to this.

Lord, I love language sometimes. And do I have a use for this line today!

[AllieSF]

As others have already said, thanks for the detailed update. I wish more would post their transition stories, especially when they do that at their current place of employment. Each has to make their own decision as how to proceed. However, the more that transition in place (where they work), the easier it gets for those that follow them. The companies may not seem like they will react positively to this type of employee issues, but we will never know until more people ask for their help. I think that there is more support out there than we think. As it is new for the transitioner, it is definitely new for the company.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I am very happy for you Renee. BTW, can you message me with the name and contact info on the place you used outside of Atlanta to be "electrocuted" LOL ?

[Nicole Erin]

Maybe add 14+ days to the date. You know how doctors are - they are constantly on vacation and do things to THEIR schedule, not the patients.

[ReneeT]

Maybe add 14+ days to the date. You know how doctors are - they are constantly on vacation and do things to THEIR schedule, not the patients.


Hmmmmm... I am not sure how to take that comment

[KellyJameson]

I wondered whether you would do FFS. From your avatar and FB you do not appear to have facial characteristics that would require much change.

If you are comfortable sharing your evaluation on what they wil be doing I would be interested.

I admire your pragmatic,intelligent and decisive approach.

All things lacking in my own convoluted, emotional and unorthodox methodology, which requires me to keep various plastic surgeons in my area on speed dial.

You are a textbook example of how to do things the right way.

[PretzelGirl]

You are soooo on top of things Renee, I can't imagine anything but success. I pray that it continues to get easier for your daughter.

[melissaK]

Awesome Renee. :-) Really pleased to hear your wife and you are communicating too.

[Stephanie-L]

Renee,
Interesting that you post this right now. I was just about to post a very similar update on my situation. It almost seems as if we are in a transition race, LOL. First, let me thank you for the detailed posts, you have helped me iron out some details about my own transition. For those that don't know me, I am a Nurse Practitioner working in a large hospital, as a contractor. I do not work for the hospital, but for a large medical group that has a contract to provide services to the hospital and it's patients. So, I also have scheduled my FFS, in 59 days to be exact. I am getting excited about this of course, anyone who wants to chat about the details of surgeon selection, etc, please feel free to contact me. My next big step is my name and gender marker change. That happens in 1 week. Anyway, yesterday, I met with my own informal transition team at work. This included my direct supervisor, the director of my division, the director of the department where I work most of the time, and a rep from hospital HR. The only person missing was a rep from our group HR, but their office is not nearby, and all they are really needed for is paperwork, plus I and my boss have discussed things with them via phone. In my meeting we came up with some answers to some of the problems I and they will face, not necessarily the ones I wanted, but workable. One of the most difficult problems was the locker room issue. I am required to change clothes at work. Of course, once I am out, I do not wish to use the male locker room, but the general feeling was that some of the women may feel uncomfortable with me, at least until I complete my transition (2+ years from now). So, I will have my own personal room to change, which will be used for nothing else. This is in some ways a bit of a let down, but actually not too bad, the room is right next to the women's locker room, so not physically any imposition. The other issue was how to make the big announcement to all of my coworkers, and when. I was offered the chance to do this myself, or to just talk to people one on one, or have the bosses make the announcement. The decision was made that the directors will tell everyone at the monthly staff meeting which is about a week before I leave for FFS. They have already started to insert little things in those meetings regarding non-discrimination and treating everyone with courtesy no matter what race, age, religion, etc. They all said that they will not tolerate any discriminatory acts or speech from anybody I work with, I was very reassured by this. Other things such as professional licenses, etc were discussed, and I left the meeting with the feeling that I am not going to have any official issues at work. Of course there will be folks who do have a problem with me, and I will have to deal with them as they appear. So, I keep on the path, and while it is not totally clear, it looks a whole lot better than it did just 6 months ago....................Stephanie

[StephanieC]

Wow. Good news from Renee and Stephanie! I never realized transition could be treated as a project, complete with their own "team".

One more thing to which I need to give more thought...

-stephani

[Paula_56]

Thanks for taking the time to update us. I was wondering how you were doing.

[allesha10]

Oh Renee, You are going through a lot. And you are moving ahead. Keep your chin up, you have already proved how strong you are.

[AudreyTN]

I don't post here much anymore but I thought I would give an update on my transition journey. *

I can't say I blame you Renee.


I read your post, sounds complicated with all the HR stuff, but you're being proactive, and that's an awesome thing, I do the same thing at school, the V.A. Hospital, and other places. By being proactive, you lessen the burden, as opposed to being "reactive" like many I see all too often.

I wish you the best, and hope you fare well on your journey.

I'll be moving to Denver in May. I've decided my lower surgery must be a priority over my FFS/breast augmentation procedures. I get my surgery letter in May. I'll probably be having my lower surgery within the next 2 years. THANK GOD.

[ReneeT]

I can't say I blame you Renee.


I read your post, sounds complicated with all the HR stuff, but you're being proactive, and that's an awesome thing, I do the same thing at school, the V.A. Hospital, and other places. By being proactive, you lessen the burden, as opposed to being "reactive" like many I see all too often.

I would prefer not to go there in this thread

[AudreyTN]

fair enough. lol. good luck to you though Renee!!!! :)