The EWWW Factor

[Launa]

I want to go get my nails done in about 3 weeks time at a nice salon and it will be full enfemme when I go.

I don't want to call ahead and ask the same old questions I used to ask like hey, "is your salon TG friendly. Do you have someone that works well with Transgender Folks?"
I just feel like making the appt with my girl name, walk through the door, sit my arse down in the chair and have a relaxing time. But I have that old fear if I do this that someone might be forced into having to do my nails/toes and saying EWWW to themselves with a shiver as they are working on me. You know the look you can get....

Although I somewhat won't care what they think, I also want to have a "relaxing time" at the salon knowing that someone who is up close and personal with me is hopefully comfortable dealing with a big tranny....
I really don't feel like calling ahead of time if ya know what I mean and asking the same old BS questions....

Anybody ever get that EWWW factor when dealing with someone?

[SarahMarie42]

If they do thus respond, you'll never know, as it will be an exclusively cognitive response. If they want a decent salon tip, I assume they'll keep a friendly smile on their face regardless.

[Leslie Langford]

Launa, I finally plucked up my courage and recently did exactly the same thing that you are contemplating doing.

It was also a "first" for me in the sense that the last couple of times I had my nails done, I was referred to specific nail techs by my GG make up artist/friend, and they were always in the know as to my situation before I even arrived there. They also worked out of their homes, so there was no issue with having other GG's around.

But you know what? - pleasant as these two visits were (the two ladies in question were extremely TG-friendly, curious, and non-judgemental), I still felt the need for a full-on GG nail salon experience. So, in the spirit of the Nike slogan, I finally decided to "just do it!". And long story short, I had a great time, and in the end, it was really a non-event for all concerned.

For my first foray into this uncharted territory, I also chose a nail salon situated in a major shopping mall in a nearby town that I had often passed by in male mode, and somehow, it had always exuded a good vibe as far as I could see. I had also determined beforehand that they accepted both walk-ins and appointments.

Obviously, I went en femme, and was dressed nicely and age-appropriately. If anything, I was probably dressed better than most of the other female customers there who were wearing the standard GG suburban shopping mall uniform, and that in itself earned me few interested glances. On the other hand, that probably also deflected their attention from scrutinizing my face more closely and possibly "reading" me, so - mission accomplished.

I had also read somewhere that women sometimes bring their own nail polish to these salons if they have a favorite colour that the salon doesn't carry, so I decided to do the same to make them think that I was an old pro at this type of thing. As it happens, my preferred shade is "I Am Not Really a Waitress" by OPI, so when I approached the reception desk, indicated that I wanted a standard manicure, and showed them the nail polish that I had brought with me after initially being motioned over to their display rack to choose a colour, they seemed mightily impressed not only by my preparedness, but also my good taste. I was then directed to the station of the particular young lady who would be taking care of me, we exchanged pleasantries, I clarified what I wanted, and she then proceeded to get to work.

Now before I continue, I should mention that for whatever reason, Vietnamese immigrants seem to hold the patent on nail salons throughout North America, and this salon was no different. I only say that because all the ladies there seemed to be struggling somewhat with English, although despite that, we still managed to communicate reasonably well and engage in some limited small talk. That said, throughout my visit to that salon the gals chatted non-stop amongst themselves in Vietnamese, interspersed with the occasional laughter and giggling. Despite that, I still had the distinct sense that they were in their own little world, and that none of their talk had anything to do with me. In short, even if I was read at some point, it was likely a non-issue and I was treated just like a GG customer throughout.

If anything, our brief conversations were friendly and up-beat, and I was even complimented variously on the state of my cuticles (who would have seen that one coming?), the scarf that I had accessorized my outfit with, and the aforesaid nail colour I had chosen to bring with me.

As for the other GG's in the nail salon, they were variously getting manicures, pedicures, or some combination thereof and seemed off in their own world, enjoying the pampering. A few glanced my way occasionally, but in the same manner in which they glanced around looking at the other customers and nail techs from time to time to alleviate their boredom. In other words, as far as I could detect, I wasn't under any special scrutiny and blended in just fine.

As for the actual manicure itself, it consisted of the standard cuticle trimming, nail clipping, filing, and shaping, followed by two coats of polish, a clear topcoat, some sort of fixative spray, and then a side trip to the drying station. I also received the requisite lotion hand massage which, I admit - while enjoyable - also felt kind of weird, given that here was this pretty girl massaging and caressing my hands in a way she might not have, had she realized that it was actually a man's hands that she was stroking this way.

When the whole process was done, I paid in cash, gave the young lady an appropriate tip, and was even granted a senior's discount, so the entire adventure - tip and all - came to less than $20. Talk about a cheap thrill!;).

Needless to say, after that wonderful experience I am now hooked. And like everything else, the first time is always the hardest, with a few minor stumbles along the way. But after I got to know the drill, the second visit a few weeks later was far less stressful as I knew exactly what to expect at every step along the way, and I sailed right through it. So much so, in fact, that I have now decided to make these manicures part of the routine when I go out as "Leslie" in future as I never really was a huge fan of those press-on nails that I used in the past, and I totally fail when it comes to applying my own nail polish.

So the moral of this story is don't hesitate but instead - go out there, Launa, indulge in your fantasy, visit one of those countless nail salons, walk in as though you own the place, and enjoy! Once you've had the experience, you'll wonder why it took you so long to take this step...

[Rogina B]

Walk in,smiling.When asked,tell them what you want,go pick a color,wait your turn,and enjoy being pampered. Give her a 5 for a tip,and all is good! Asian or American salon,nails are nails and all is good,another customer that may return if she they were happy! Stop being chicken of the world,enjoy yourself..

[Jana]

Seems to me that if you don't call ahead, you won't have a relaxing time, because the nagging thought will in the back of your mind the whole time. So, do yourself a favor and call ahead. This way you can enjoy the experience at the salon.

[Kate Simmons]

When dealing with others, including business people, you have to expect it. Doesn't matter, you are paying them to do the job and act somewhat "Pleasant".:)

[Launa]

So the moral of this story is don't hesitate but instead - go out there, Launa, indulge in your fantasy, visit one of those countless nail salons, walk in as though you own the place, and enjoy! Once you've had the experience, you'll wonder why it took you so long to take this step...

Ok, I will go do this and act like I belong there just like everybody else.
I always try to look good and I will look my best but there is no mistaking I'm a guy even from 30 - 50' away. I have never worked on my voice, I will someday but I'm trying to perfect everything else right now...


Walk in,smiling.When asked,tell them what you want,go pick a color,wait your turn,and enjoy being pampered. Give her a 5 for a tip,and all is good! Asian or American salon,nails are nails and all is good,another customer that may return if she they were happy! Stop being chicken of the world,enjoy yourself..

All you have to say to me is stop being a chicken and I'll take it like a dare!
I'm going to do it and enjoy.

I've done this once before but dressed in drab so it was not the same. I tipped 25% for their efforts.


Seems to me that if you don't call ahead, you won't have a relaxing time, because the nagging thought will in the back of your mind the whole time. So, do yourself a favor and call ahead. This way you can enjoy the experience at the salon.

Yeah calling ahead is the easy way out for me though, it might make the most sense but I'm going to have to learn to get over it and realize some people will like me and some won't.


When dealing with others, including business people, you have to expect it. Doesn't matter, you are paying them to do the job and act somewhat "Pleasant".:)

You're right I have to expect this sometimes.... It might be good and it might be bad but regardless I will still act pleasant in return.

[Sarasometimes]

Seems to me that if you don't call ahead, you won't have a relaxing time, because the nagging thought will in the back of your mind the whole time. So, do yourself a favor and call ahead. This way you can enjoy the experience at the salon.

I'm with you Jana. I think you can only have it one way or the other. If you go the surprise route you may be paying for a service you really aren't enjoying. I also think it is a bit of a mutual respect thing. Since we, the readables here, are an exception to the majority of a salon's clients with female names, I think some tech's may simply be caught by surprise and made to feel awkward which may affect the tone of the appointment. I wish to be dealt with respectfully so I will do the same to others. of course any place of public accomodation has rules, the staff are still just trying to make ends meet and do a good job.
In a perfect world this forum wouldn't need to exist but it does. Also imagine if in the course of your job you were clearly expecting the usual and suddenly without warning the situation was quite different could you always pull it off without any sign of surprise. Would you appreciate being put in that situation even if it could have easily been prevented. Either way I hope you enjoy your nail appointment.
The salons I go to are clearly welcomming and respectful and they all knew who was coming with an option to pass, no surprises, for me either.

[Beverley Sims]

It is healthy to experience the EWWW factor, as it means you are aware of the feelings of others and will go the extra step to be comfortable.
You could go in male mode and ask in person.
I have and they are usually interested to see me dressed.
Why? Because I make it sound like it will be an interesting experience for them.
I do present reasonably well as a female and that makes it easier.

[Jamie001]

I go to the nail salon every two weeks in my normal feminine male mode wearing capri pants, women' sandals, and a femme hairstyle. My toenails are always painted fire engine red. Nail salons are very welcoming and have many male customers. It is not a big deal. They treat me like one of the girls.

[Paula_56]

Launa, I finally plucked up my courage and recently did exactly the same thing that you are contemplating doing.

It was also a "first" for me in the sense that the last couple of times I had my nails done, I was referred to specific nail techs by my GG make up artist/friend, and they were always in the know as to my situation before I even arrived there. They also worked out of their homes, so there was no issue with having other GG's around.

But you know what? - pleasant as these two visits were (the two ladies in question were extremely TG-friendly, curious, and non-judgemental), I still felt the need for a full-on GG nail salon experience. So, in the spirit of the Nike slogan, I finally decided to "just do it!". And long story short, I had a great time, and in the end, it was really a non-event for all concerned.

For my first foray into this uncharted territory, I also chose a nail salon situated in a major shopping mall in a nearby town that I had often passed by in male mode, and somehow, it had always exuded a good vibe as far as I could see. I had also determined beforehand that they accepted both walk-ins and appointments.

Obviously, I went en femme, and was dressed nicely and age-appropriately. If anything, I was probably dressed better than most of the other female customers there who were wearing the standard GG suburban shopping mall uniform, and that in itself earned me few interested glances. On the other hand, that probably also deflected their attention from scrutinizing my face more closely and possibly "reading" me, so - mission accomplished.

I had also read somewhere that women sometimes bring their own nail polish to these salons if they have a favorite colour that the salon doesn't carry, so I decided to do the same to make them think that I was an old pro at this type of thing. As it happens, my preferred shade is "I Am Not Really a Waitress" by OPI, so when I approached the reception desk, indicated that I wanted a standard manicure, and showed them the nail polish that I had brought with me after initially being motioned over to their display rack to choose a colour, they seemed mightily impressed not only by my preparedness, but also my good taste. I was then directed to the station of the particular young lady who would be taking care of me, we exchanged pleasantries, I clarified what I wanted, and she then proceeded to get to work.

Now before I continue, I should mention that for whatever reason, Vietnamese immigrants seem to hold the patent on nail salons throughout North America, and this salon was no different. I only say that because all the ladies there seemed to be struggling somewhat with English, although despite that, we still managed to communicate reasonably well and engage in some limited small talk. That said, throughout my visit to that salon the gals chatted non-stop amongst themselves in Vietnamese, interspersed with the occasional laughter and giggling. Despite that, I still had the distinct sense that they were in their own little world, and that none of their talk had anything to do with me. In short, even if I was read at some point, it was likely a non-issue and I was treated just like a GG customer throughout.

If anything, our brief conversations were friendly and up-beat, and I was even complimented variously on the state of my cuticles (who would have seen that one coming?), the scarf that I had accessorized my outfit with, and the aforesaid nail colour I had chosen to bring with me.

As for the other GG's in the nail salon, they were variously getting manicures, pedicures, or some combination thereof and seemed off in their own world, enjoying the pampering. A few glanced my way occasionally, but in the same manner in which they glanced around looking at the other customers and nail techs from time to time to alleviate their boredom. In other words, as far as I could detect, I wasn't under any special scrutiny and blended in just fine.

As for the actual manicure itself, it consisted of the standard cuticle trimming, nail clipping, filing, and shaping, followed by two coats of polish, a clear topcoat, some sort of fixative spray, and then a side trip to the drying station. I also received the requisite lotion hand massage which, I admit - while enjoyable - also felt kind of weird, given that here was this pretty girl massaging and caressing my hands in a way she might not have, had she realized that it was actually a man's hands that she was stroking this way.

When the whole process was done, I paid in cash, gave the young lady an appropriate tip, and was even granted a senior's discount, so the entire adventure - tip and all - came to less than $20. Talk about a cheap thrill!;).

Needless to say, after that wonderful experience I am now hooked. And like everything else, the first time is always the hardest, with a few minor stumbles along the way. But after I got to know the drill, the second visit a few weeks later was far less stressful as I knew exactly what to expect at every step along the way, and I sailed right through it. So much so, in fact, that I have now decided to make these manicures part of the routine when I go out as "Leslie" in future as I never really was a huge fan of those press-on nails that I used in the past, and I totally fail when it comes to applying my own nail polish.

So the moral of this story is don't hesitate but instead - go out there, Launa, indulge in your fantasy, visit one of those countless nail salons, walk in as though you own the place, and enjoy! Once you've had the experience, you'll wonder why it took you so long to take this step...

Leslie--Great story, thanks for taking the time to share it--paula

[Sally24]

It's such a nice, inexpensive, relaxing experience I wonder why all women don't do it more. I still have an aim to take my daughter and wife out for a group manicure. Neither of them have ever been given a manicure by someone else! Just call and make an appointment. If the female name and the male voice don't throw them then you have no worry. I have never inquired and each manicure was a lovely experience!

[Rogina B]

I am still confused as to your need to call ahead and the support it received. Just go to any Asian owned salon and walk in.You are a customer and they have a service. Where is the issue?

[ambigendrous]

...I also received the requisite lotion hand massage which, I admit - while enjoyable - also felt kind of weird, given that here was this pretty girl massaging and caressing my hands in a way she might not have, had she realized that it was actually a man's hands that she was stroking this way.

I've been getting mani/pedis for about 10 years now - always in male mode. When I was working it was a manicure every 2 weeks and a pedicure every 4 weeks - went to a great salon near my work where the owner treated me like a valued friend. Once I retired I didn't want to drive across town to spend $30 for the mani/pedi so I bade her a fond adieu and looked for a salon closer to my home. I actually found a beauty college about 5 miles from home - I get a mani for $5 and a pedi for $8 - $13 once a month is a deal! Again I always go in male mode and get treated very well. I'll have one person working on my hands and another on my feet - if they have difficulty with English there will be a third person hanging around as an interpreter. I get the full experience: remove the old polish, trim and shape the nails, trim the cuticles, cuticle oil and the foam pads to smooth out the nail surface, massage the hands and forearms and feet and legs, and then base coat, 2 coats of color, and top coat. I always have clear polish on my fingers and bright red (Tough Love by Sally Hansen) on my toes. Occasionally I'll switch out and use a darker red - Wine Not b Sally Hansen - on my toes for variety. I'm always getting compliments from the workers on how nice my feet look - never felt uncomfortable there at all. The massage is the highlight of the visit!

[Launa]

I am still confused as to your need to call ahead and the support it received. Just go to any Asian owned salon and walk in.You are a customer and they have a service. Where is the issue?

The issue for me is that so far I have only been out dressed to gay bars and nowhere else as of yet, I started this a little over a year ago. All other clothing stores that I have shopped at in drab I always called ahead of time to ask if they're accepting because of stupid fear!!!!!!!!

Now I don't want to do this calling ahead thing anymore and just go out to other places other than gay bars dressed as a girl. Its probably only fear of rejection, embarrasment and making a scene "that is the fear" stuck in my head.
I realize if a negative response ever happens then I need to suck it up and deal with it. I will probably have way more positive experiences than any negative ones. So now its time to go live life.

[Barbra P]

While I never worked as a manicurist I did work in retail and I know all about that EWWW feeling. It never had anything to do with someone being transgendered, there are people, for whatever reason we don’t like, whether they are male, female, or transgendered. I believe we have all met someone that we took an instant dislike to maybe even before any words were exchanged, and conversely there are people we instantly hit off with.

I don’t see that calling ahead guarantees a good experience on several accounts. How do you know that the person you talk to on the phone is the same person who will be performing the manicure? The last salon I went to had a full time receptionist who answered the phone and greeted p0eople when they walked in and the manicures pedicures were done by someone else. I’ve talked with people on phone only to find that I didn’t much like them when I met them in person.

You think the manicurist doesn’t have EWWW thoughts with some of the GG clients? I had regular customers who always asked for me and I wished they would allow someone else to wait on them, or better yet go somewhere else, but I smiled, listened to they wanted, advised them on what to purchase, and the store happily accepted their money. I suppose I could have done a lousy job and they would have gone elsewhere but that is not in my nature, I just sucked it up and served them the best I could and with a smile on my face; they left happy and I got my paycheck on the First and Fifteenth.

People who work in the public service industry get quite adept at concealing those EWWW moments. If you could be a fly on the wall in the break room you might be quite surprised at some of the conversations, “I had a couple of girls who combined didn’t have the IQ of a half-wit”, “I had a man and I’ll swear he hasn’t had a bath in a month, I almost gagged”, Did you see that woman in brown mini-skirt, she must have in her sixties and I’ve seen better legs on a chicken”, “I know you saw Nancy, that good looking attorney in the gorgeous blue skirt suit with the white silk blouse, well use to wait on her a few years ago when she was Bob”, “OMG, I had this one customer . . .”

[Chickhe]

I get it... you want to validate yourself and not giving advance notice is a way to live in the real world. But, one way to live is to set your world up to maximize your enjoyment so you might want to cal first to make sure that's the case... I look at it this way, suppose their is a Ford dealer and you want to trade in your old Chevy, you might want to call first to determine if there is any Chevy bias...there probably will be, but you might want to feel them out for how bad a deal you will get if thats the case.

[Maria S]

Forgive me what is EWWW?

Maria

[Nicole Erin]

I doubt they will have any problems giving you a service and accepting your money.
If they do have a problem with a TG customer, they need to grow the f*** up.

But no, don't call and ask if it's OK that you are TG. At that point they might think it is some kind of joke. Kind of like one of my friends who was calling doctors and untactfully asking if they did penis extensions.

PAss or not, CD or TS, part time or full time, you learn it is best not to make your gender status the center of attention. Kind of for the same reason a black person would not call a business and say "Is it OK if black people shop there?" That reason? It doesn't matter who someone is as long as their money spends.

Just go in and get your service and enjoy yourself :)

[celeste26]

The nail salon I go to is quite near to my home and it is in the operators home with an annex. Yes they are Vietnamese and over the years I have come to hear more and more about them and their families. I get acrylics not just manicures. Because their parking space is so small, slots for 3 cars, I can tell ahead of time how busy they are, and I will call ahead for an appointment if they are. They have never turned me down even the first time and now that I am a regular customer they know me well enough so they make room for me.

[Launa]

The nail salon I go to is quite near to my home and it is in the operators home with an annex. Yes they are Vietnamese and over the years I have come to hear more and more about them and their families. I get acrylics not just manicures. Because their parking space is so small, slots for 3 cars, I can tell ahead of time how busy they are, and I will call ahead for an appointment if they are. They have never turned me down even the first time and now that I am a regular customer they know me well enough so they make room for me.

Its great you have a good place to go to!




But no, don't call and ask if it's OK that you are TG. At that point they might think it is some kind of joke. Kind of like one of my friends who was calling doctors and untactfully asking if they did penis extensions.

PAss or not, CD or TS, part time or full time, you learn it is best not to make your gender status the center of attention. Kind of for the same reason a black person would not call a business and say "Is it OK if black people shop there?" That reason? It doesn't matter who someone is as long as their money spends.

Just go in and get your service and enjoy yourself :)

They will know theres no joke when I walk through that door. I will go enjoy myself.....


Forgive me what is EWWW?Maria

I'm not sure its spelled right but EWWW I mean gross, disgusting, ugly feeling.... You know when people see something and say gross then shiver.
I say EWWW when I'm eating dinner somewhere and someone has "stuff" or food all over their face and they keep eating without giving their face a wipe.



I get it... you want to validate yourself and not giving advance notice is a way to live in the real world. But, one way to live is to set your world up to maximize your enjoyment so you might want to cal first to make sure that's the case... I look at it this way, suppose their is a Ford dealer and you want to trade in your old Chevy, you might want to call first to determine if there is any Chevy bias...there probably will be, but you might want to feel them out for how bad a deal you will get if thats the case.

Yes BINGO this is exactly what I've been like in the past.

[Launa]

[QUOTE=Barbra P;3093118

I dont see that calling ahead guarantees a good experience on several accounts. How do you know that the person you talk to on the phone is the same person who will be performing the manicure? The last salon I went to had a full time receptionist who answered the phone and greeted p0eople when they walked in and the manicures pedicures were done by someone else.

You think the manicurist doesnt have EWWW thoughts with some of the GG clients?[/QUOTE]


The only reason I've ever called ahead was to let them know what I am. I always figured then they have a heads up before I come in. Maybe the receptionist wants to match me with someone who is better dealing with TG folks.

You're also right, sometimes the manicurist will have those thoughts too because a few years back I was getting my toes done and the lady mentioned how clean my feet were. I said yeah I didn't want them dirty and come in here.
She said hey, "I have had women that go out gardening in their sandals in the summer and come in here with dirty feet and expect me to clean them up."
I had forgot this happened to me....

[weekend woman]

The only reason to call ahead is to make an appointment. Yesterday, on the spur of the moment I decided to get a pedi. Walked into my regular salon, in drab, and not one customer was there. I am usually taken care of by the owners wife, however she was on lunch, so I was seen by a new tech. No issues at all. She did a professional job, probably the best pedi I've had in a long time. Needless to say I now have a new favorite nail tech, and the fact that I tip well doesn't hurt.

The funny thing is while at the drying station, my back was toward the door and the place filled up. Had to pass a lot of people when leaving and got some strange looks, more from the women than the men waiting for their wives/girlfriends.

Oh the color, BLUE MY MIND.

[Barbra P]

The only reason to call ahead is to make an appointment. Yesterday, on the spur of the moment I decided to get a pedi. Walked into my regular salon, in drab, and not one customer was there. I am usually taken care of by the owners wife, however she was on lunch, so I was seen by a new tech. No issues at all. She did a professional job, probably the best pedi I've had in a long time. Needless to say I now have a new favorite nail tech, and the fact that I tip well doesn't hurt.

The funny thing is while at the drying station, my back was toward the door and the place filled up. Had to pass a lot of people when leaving and got some strange looks, more from the women than the men waiting for their wives/girlfriends.

Oh the color, BLUE MY MIND.
I totally agree with calling ahead to make an appointment. My Daughter made a pedi appointment at a fairly exclusive salon for me as a Father’s Day gift. This salon was pretty much “by appointment only” so calling ahead was required; unfortunately their prices were out of line, something neither I nor my Daughter knew at the time. I took my Wife there a month later and she informed me that we could get pedi’s at less than half the cost close to home and the local salons had massage-chairs and the tech’s did leg massages – live and learn.

Well all righty then. Had I been sitting there and you walked out with red or pink I’d have looked up and smiled, but blue? I think I would have had a strange puzzled look on my face too. I would have had that strange puzzled look with a GG as well, I just don’t understand blue nails, or green, or black; I guess I’m just old fashioned, or maybe its just that I’m old.

[Jamie001]

Had I been sitting there and you walked out with red or pink I’d have looked up and smiled, but blue? I think I would have had a strange puzzled look on my face too. I would have had that strange puzzled look with a GG as well, I just don’t understand blue nails, or green, or black; I guess I’m just old fashioned, or maybe its just that I’m old.

I completely agree. My toenails are always bright red or hot pink because I feel that these colors are more feminine and make me feel like a Queen. I don't understand why folks wear blue, green, or black, but to each their own. Whenever I'm not at work my toes are on display in women's sandals. I have integrated red toenails and women's sandals into my normal feminine male presentation. I have had some wonderful conversation with women while sitting at the nail dryer waiting for our toenails to dry.

[Jessica S]

My wife used to owen a salon. She says there is always a couple girls who like to do the CDrs, definitely call ahead and ask for one of them. They'll be more comfortable with you, and you'll have more fun.

[Rogina B]

My wife used to owen a salon. She says there is always a couple girls who like to do the CDrs, definitely call ahead and ask for one of them. They'll be more comfortable with you, and you'll have more fun.

The Asian girls will work it out amongst themselves....many would never understand on the phone...Nails are nails,and a good tip is the equalizer!