reactions from your family, friends, relatives when they knew you are a crossdresser

[cassexy]

hi, i would like to know the reactions you faced when they found you were your crosdresser. how did you deal with the situation. how has it changed you life after that.

[xdressed]

My ex girlfriend told me I was brave but that it had to stop. My current girlfriend sort of said 'is that all you were worried about' and has been very supportive since. I've told a couple of friends that are already aware of trans topics and they were really happy when I told them and my house mates have been great about it too ^_^

[cassexy]

well xdressed, good to hear that you had positive vibes, keep in touch

My ex girlfriend told me I was brave but that it had to stop. My current girlfriend sort of said 'is that all you were worried about' and has been very supportive since. I've told a couple of friends that are already aware of trans topics and they were really happy when I told them and my house mates have been great about it too ^_^

[Paula DAngelo]

The only ones that I know of that know I cross dress are my girl friend and her family (a little strange I know). She was spending some time with them on Christmas while I was at work and some of them started asking her some questions. She tried to not say anything but in the end the only thing she could do was to tell them our little secret. She was worried I'd be upset when she told me what she had done and was relieved when I told her I didn't have a problem with her telling them. Getting back to your question, the only one that had a problem with it was her 25 year old son. Her mother, daughter, sister and niece didn't have any problems with it and treat me the same as they did before they knew anything. In fact her sister is even treating me better than before (who would have expected that). So over all I don't think it really affected things much with the people that know.

[cassexy]

good to hear that paula, hope you are enjoying now

The only ones that I know of that know I cross dress are my girl friend and her family (a little strange I know). She was spending some time with them on Christmas while I was at work and some of them started asking her some questions. She tried to not say anything but in the end the only thing she could do was to tell them our little secret. She was worried I'd be upset when she told me what she had done and was relieved when I told her I didn't have a problem with her telling them. Getting back to your question, the only one that had a problem with it was her 25 year old son. Her mother, daughter, sister and niece didn't have any problems with it and treat me the same as they did before they knew anything. In fact her sister is even treating me better than before (who would have expected that). So over all I don't think it really affected things much with the people that know.

[Crissy Kay]

I finally told my sister a couple months ago. She still thinks its a joke!!

[Lady Catherine]

My fiance took it very well and is quite excepting. I've told two of my three kids and my step-daughter and they are all good with it. My life hasn't really changed at all accept for the fact that I'm not hiding it any more.

[Kate Simmons]

It did not go well with my immediate family. My wife left me and two of my children basically disowned me. What price we are willing to pay for being ourselves has to be assessed by each individual.:)

[cassexy]

same as my story kate

It did not go well with my immediate family. My wife left me and two of my children basically disowned me. What price we are willing to pay for being ourselves has to be assessed by each individual.:)

good for you catherine, hope u are happy as a cd

My fiance took it very well and is quite excepting. I've told two of my three kids and my step-daughter and they are all good with it. My life hasn't really changed at all accept for the fact that I'm not hiding it any more.

well the price you have to pay crissy

I finally told my sister a couple months ago. She still thinks its a joke!!

[Gypsy Sam]

cassexy,

Pleased to meet you and answered your friend request. Staying on topic here, though my wife is aware; we follow a ""Don't ask Don't tell " policy here that so far works for the both of us.
My time here at this site is evident, and her displeasure has been expressed aboutspending time online rather than with her when were both at home. Family and friends would not be favorable as opinons expressed randomly have verified a negative view of it all consistently. Have met several people that have migrated from India to Northeast Ohio and found them easy to get to know. Happy to make your aquaintaince, see you on the home page of this site.

[bridget thronton]

Wife and adults kids and their spouse's are fine with it so are 4 close female friends

[Beverley Sims]

Life just got easier after everyone fond out about me.
It happened by word of mouth with my 3 female housemates referring to me as Beverley when others knew I was a boy.
I think the worst reaction was, Oh!

[xdressed]

well xdressed, good to hear that you had positive vibes, keep in touch

Been almost too easy haha, will try not to jinx it

[Jennifer in CO]

well, we didn't exactly tell them (family) I was a crossdresser (like my Mom didn't know in the first place if you've read some of my other posts). Back when I went full time, we used the excuse that I was on a medical study (which I was) and because of the medical study I was growing breasts (which I was) and that having breasts meant it was easier to present as a girl than as a boy (which it was) and that I had been offered a management position in the company I worked for and since I looked like a girl and the job offering was for a girl then I needed to look like and "be" a girl (for the money)..right?. They bought it...

Jenn

Jenn

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, the only one who knows everything, is my GF, she couldn't be more accepting. Work kinda knows, as I've been wearing womens pants to work. Yes, they should be able to figure out they're womens, I bought them there! I showed a picture of a kilt i want to buy to 2 female co-workers, and they said it was great idea, I then commented that i should be able to wear a skirt if i wanted, and they both said, "Yeah, why not?"

[outhiking]

Kate and Cassexy, I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I'm in a DADT with my wife, but she's the only one that knows.

[Nikki A.]

Overall it has been pretty ok. My wife was not thrilled but let me express this side of me. Her biggest problem was that she didn't know how far I was going to go, and was it something that was lacking in our relationship that drove me to Xdressing.
Since she passed away I've come out to a select few people and have had positive and accepting responses. I dressed for a friend's Halloween party, at a later party I had one of their friends (a GG) tell me that I must be comfortable with myself if I was willing to dress and go all out with the make up etc. Little did she really know how comfortable it really felt.

[Alice B]

I am lucky in that first my wife accepted and then our extended family (mostly from her side) also accepted. Now everyone in both familys and several close friends know and nothing has changed. My dressing is not intended to be in front or for their benifit, but for my own needs. One of my daughter-in-laws gave me pearl ear rings for XMAS, saying I need them to fill out my collection. In short, nothing has changed.

[~Joanne~]

Only my GF knows. By her reaction after having "the talk" it didn't come as too much of a shock to her. She had a few questions, I answered them the best I could and all has been well. She is accepting and supporting and we shop all the time together :) No one else knows though, unless she told them and they are that good at keeping a secret, and I am going to keep it that way for now. Being pretty much still closeted, meaning I hardly ever go past the front door, there is no need for them to know that I can think of. If at some point, when I am past a lot of the fears, I do go out more and there is a chance I may be seen by someone I know, then maybe I will tell them.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife has pretty much known all along. My oldest daughter wanted to see me in all of my outfits and requested a little culling. My youngest started calling me Sue right away and always complimented my appearance. And a friend asked to see all of my sequin dresses (sorry, I had to disappoint her).

[Roberta782]

I am pretty sure my mother knows because my hidden collection (of her things) was gone one day. My SO knows and is very accepting. And just last night I told two of my GG friends. Both think it is awesome, gave me big hugs and want to take me out in public! I will probably take them up on the offer.:)

[sometimes_miss]

We can start with ex wife; acted horrified when she found out, we later went to therapy as the marriage slowly fell apart, and she admitted had she known about the crossdressing she never would have married me. Then sued me for divorce, blackmailing me by telling me she'd tell everyone we knew about my crossdressing, as well as posting pictures of me dressed in girl clothing on the net. She took the house, money, everything. Friends; treated me like a threat to their kids; I noticed they'd never leave me alone in the same room with them. Then gradually stopped inviting me to family functions like birthday parties (even though I usually give the kids expensive gifts and money for college) and sporting events, slowly distanced themselves from me until they weren't even answering my phone calls. When I would see them eventually, I'd get the 'well, we're so busy' speech.
My mom stays in denial. Acts disgusted if I ever bring it up. Sister barely talks to me; never calls me, answers in one word sentences. Cousin doesn't answer emails or phone calls. Christmas cards have stopped coming.
Nuff said. I think you get the picture. While society tolerates us existing, they still want nothing to do with us personally. Really nothing seems to have changed since the 60's, when we had a neighbor who was gay, but no one was supposed to talk to him or go near his house even on halloween. It's the old 'not in my backyard' syndrome.

[Stevie]

My wife knows and was horrified and shocked when she caught me in my corset. That was when she realized that I was for real. We talked and she told me that she wouldn't been with me if she known. If it wasn't for the children I believe she would of left by now.
No one else close to me really knows which is how I like it. I already know how they would respond.

[Allison Chaynes]

My wife and now my sister in law know. My wife is back and forth but trying to accept. Her sister is lesbian and dating a MTF TS, so when my wife told her about me about six weeks ago she was pretty understanding. She visited us for a few days and we had a great time hanging out.

[Miranda09]

Well, I've only told 2 of my friends, one male the other female, and both have been very supportive. In fact, both said it didn't really surprise them!!!! As for telling anyone else, like family......why? I'm happy with the way things are now. If and when I ever meet that special someone, that number will grow the 3. :)

[UNDERDRESSER]

Nuff said. I think you get the picture. While society tolerates us existing, they still want nothing to do with us personally. Really nothing seems to have changed since the 60's, when we had a neighbor who was gay, but no one was supposed to talk to him or go near his house even on halloween. It's the old 'not in my backyard' syndrome.Well, in some communities this might be true. Around here, the city I live in, I'd get some negative reactions, some positive, and a whole lotta shrugs. My work is very liberal, and I think I'd get away with wearing a skirt. Most would be very accepting, a lot of the girls would be approving, a few would be "Well, I think it's weird but whatever floats your boat" I doubt I'd get serious negative reactions, and if management gave me the OK, they would enforce the non-discrimination policies strictly. Nobody would get away with overt hostility. MY GF thinks her parents would be OK, maybe after asking a couple of questions.

[RitaCD]

At first supportive my wife (now ex) flipped and told everyone we knew. She told family, friends and anyone that would listen. That was over ten years ago. No one ever treated me any different. Our kids know but we never talk about it. I talked with my mother about it and she was one of the few that was OK with it.

[sometimes_miss]

Well, in some communities this might be true. Around here, the city I live in, I'd get some negative reactions, some positive, and a whole lotta shrugs. My work is very liberal, and I think I'd get away with wearing a skirt. Most would be very accepting, a lot of the girls would be approving, a few would be "Well, I think it's weird but whatever floats your boat" I doubt I'd get serious negative reactions, and if management gave me the OK, they would enforce the non-discrimination policies strictly. Nobody would get away with overt hostility. MY GF thinks her parents would be OK, maybe after asking a couple of questions.
It's not overt hostility that I was referring to; it's the general feeling of other people that they'd just as soon that you live elsewhere. No one picked on the gay guy who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up; but no one befriended him, either. No one. None. Zero. After living next door to him for about five years, my mom realized that he spend every holiday at home, alone. She felt she had to do the christian thing, and invite him over on thanksgiving and christmas. But that's it. The rest of the year, everyone ignored him.

As far as non discrimination policies at work, companies can easily find other reasons to get rid of us when they want to. I've been driven out of two jobs in my life, for reasons that had nothing to do with my gender situation. The easiest? Simply eliminate the job position. The create something else with slightly different qualifications and hire someone else. It goes on all the time.

[Christinedreamer]

My whole family knows but varies in their reaction. As a teen my mom kept finding my stash of nightgowns and got rid of them. I still get sad when I think how beautiful and comfortable they were and how much of my hard earned money I spent on the. My next oldest sister does NOT like any part of it but my oldest sister gave me a beautiful pink nylon babydoll PJ set when I was only 13. Over the years she bought me a few more plus sets of day of the week panties. We kept them in her room so mom would not find them.

My dad was an interesting case. Sometimes he sad nothing, other times he would get upset. Once he asked me if I wanted a sex change. (in the 70s) He caught me one time sleeping in my fave gorgeous floor length, lace encrusted, 4 layer white peignoir as I had come home early from a family gathering from a nearby aunt's house, put on my gown and fell asleep. He woke me to suggest that I change before mom came home. He had let me sleep for 2 whole hours. When mom was around he was MUCH less accommodating although he was never mean to me about it.

My ex wife LOVED it and we had several matching outfits and she LOVED seeing me in square dance dresses with lots of petticoats.

Right now I am at my folks home and finishing up arrangements for my moms relocation after my dad passed away on Christmas day. As mom and I have set around talking, this subject came up. She confessed to me that as a young girl she never wanted to be a girl but wanted to wake up as a boy. This is because she hated the hassle of a monthly period etc.
I explained again how intensely happy I am when I am dressed. Due to her age, she is having difficulty understanding and remembering now. I am glad that we were able to talk a little more about this part of me.

[larry]

Isn't this what most of us fear about "coming out " ?


We can start with ex wife; acted horrified when she found out, we later went to therapy as the marriage slowly fell apart, and she admitted had she known about the crossdressing she never would have married me. Then sued me for divorce, blackmailing me by telling me she'd tell everyone we knew about my crossdressing, as well as posting pictures of me dressed in girl clothing on the net. She took the house, money, everything. Friends; treated me like a threat to their kids; I noticed they'd never leave me alone in the same room with them. Then gradually stopped inviting me to family functions like birthday parties (even though I usually give the kids expensive gifts and money for college) and sporting events, slowly distanced themselves from me until they weren't even answering my phone calls. When I would see them eventually, I'd get the 'well, we're so busy' speech.
My mom stays in denial. Acts disgusted if I ever bring it up. Sister barely talks to me; never calls me, answers in one word sentences. Cousin doesn't answer emails or phone calls. Christmas cards have stopped coming.
Nuff said. I think you get the picture. While society tolerates us existing, they still want nothing to do with us personally. Really nothing seems to have changed since the 60's, when we had a neighbor who was gay, but no one was supposed to talk to him or go near his house even on halloween. It's the old 'not in my backyard' syndrome.

[justmetoo]

Reactions are going to vary all over the place.
In my case my mother, sisters, and nieces are very supportive. And in fact, I went shopping with a couple of them just the other day. A couple of their spouses are fine with it, too. In the past, girlfriends/dating partners have not been so supportive. Other, mostly male, relatives don't know.

[UNDERDRESSER]

It's not overt hostility that I was referring to; it's the general feeling of other people that they'd just as soon that you live elsewhere. No one picked on the gay guy who lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up; but no one befriended him, either. No one. None. Zero. After living next door to him for about five years, my mom realized that he spend every holiday at home, alone. She felt she had to do the christian thing, and invite him over on thanksgiving and christmas. But that's it. The rest of the year, everyone ignored him.

As far as non discrimination policies at work, companies can easily find other reasons to get rid of us when they want to. I've been driven out of two jobs in my life, for reasons that had nothing to do with my gender situation. The easiest? Simply eliminate the job position. The create something else with slightly different qualifications and hire someone else. It goes on all the time.Oh I understood, but I do feel the reactions would be as i described. I'm sure some of the people at work would try to avoid me, but the majority wouldn't. I bet some of the girls would be pretty intrigued. The company is very supportive of the employees, the non-discrimination policy is taken seriously, it is a seriously wonderful place to work.

[crystalbath]

My SO thought i was joking at first but after she realised i wasn't joking and we talked for a bit, she was totally fine with it - Thought her first reaction would be "Bye!" lol. She even got me my first mini skirt :D