am I obsessed

[Stevie]

My wife an I had a heart to heart talk a week or so ago and it feels like an entirty. She told me about how she dislikes it and doesn't want to see me dress like a women especially around our children. But she is willing to give me some time once a month. I told her ok but I didn't mean it I wqnt to dress at least once a week and wear my corset as often as I can. Right now all I can think about is putting on my corset and walking around in my heels. The urges are hard to resist. I do have much patience and need a whole bunch right now. As for my corset now all is lost. I'm still losing weight so I'm maintaining my figure.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Well, at least it's out in the open now and you know where she stands. I guess you now have to either respect he wishes and somehow control your obsession, or risk losing your wife. Not an easy choice. Based on other members' comments, it appears that while some spouses can become more tolerant over time, most tend to stick to their original position because they believe we are all on a slippery slope. Mine established boundaries early on and so far I am not pushing too hard or too often. I wish you the best.

[kimdl93]

Yes, it's possible that you're somewhat obsessed at the moment. I'd suggest thanking your wife for making some initial concessions. In the mean time, distract yourself with other activities and look for ways to express your feminine side that aren't clothing dependent.

[katlee]

I feel the same way. For me I feel that all this is really new and really exciting. I know that in the past when I get really into something like a video game, I would get really into it.

As long as you can do other stuff, remember that there will be time for gaming later. Also if you have a smart phone, online shopping is great. I spend a lot of time on these forums.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'd say you were obsessed. It fits with my experience. And when that monthly opportunity arrives and you spend your time time getting your girl time in enjoy it as much as you can and thank her for that time. Show her know how much it means to you so eventually she doesn't see your dressing as a threat or a problem, but as something that makes you a better person. That could lead to some additional leeway in the future.

[CassandraSmith]

am i obsessed[?]

Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not so sure that normal addiction or OCD models really are useful with gender identification exploration (GIE; I just made that up BTW). While I'm not into shocking people, how other people deal with it really isn't our responsibility either. So much for talking about a perfect world though.

Spouses are unique though as it is a partnership and I can sympathize if this isn't a path they are comfortable with. I don't have any easy answers here.


Cassy

[johnboy23]

It has taken my wife four years to become fully accepting. We went through a period other being ok with it to her making me feel bad for it, other saying I can't do it, to her sayi g only under dressing as long as she can't see it to now being fully accepting. I have to say positive communication and keeping her happy and in love with you are things that will help. Oh and time(patience). The urge is sooverwhelming don't let it ruin your relationship. It almost ruined mine.

[darla_g]

i don't have any problem with your wife expressing her bounds. now it is up to you to see if that is acceptable or you throw the whole relationship away

[TGMarla]

I understand, Stevie. My opportunities to dress have been severely curtailed, and there are days that it simply eats at me. However, it is incument upon us to control our own emotions and desires. Once that opportunity again surfaces, it's all the more enjoyable.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

[Diversity]

I fully understand your feeling of obsession. I often question my own as well. One thing that has only recently occurred is that my wife told me that she could live with me wearing 'masculine' looking panties (prefers no lace, bows, etc.). She does not want to see me in them, but doesn't mind them in the laundry, hanging, and folding them for me. I make it a point to do the laundry as often as possible so I don't push things too far, even though she accepts this. I am sharing this with you, as perhaps it could be a way for you to somewhat satisfy your urge to dress, (I know it is not a corset and there aren't heels), and your wife would be accepting as it is not 'in her face'. Just a thought....
I have to wait until she is out of the house for me to dress. It is frustrating somedays, but the marriage is way more important to keep in tact. I hope in time, more lattitude will come. If it never does, than I will need to continue to pick and choose my time accordingly. Continue to talk openly and honestly with your wife and always look at things from her perspective as well, as she and especially your children are (or should be) the MOST important people in your life. The dressing is nothing in comparison to them. Good luck to you.
Di

[Michelle (Oz)]

I often think that I'm obsessive/compulsive wanting to dress as often as I can and creating opportunities. I raised it with a psychologist and her strong view was that this is not what OCD is about. It simply reflects a need/want to express myself - part of my 'being'.

There is a third choice other than giving up dressing (and I'd see once a month as that) and losing a wife - thread 188860 on the lengths that we go to.