Milestones

[stefan37]

I can not believe I am where I am at this point in my life. I have been disclosing my transition with a select group of friends and my wife has reached the point where she knows I have would have to disclose to my kids and family. I talked to both kids 2 weeks ago separately. My daughter was not too thrilled, but she knew a lot about transgenderism and transsexuality. She even made a point that she knew more about the subject than I did. She is having a difficult time but when we are together we get along good. My son although not thrilled was supportive. His major concern was how My wife is being treated. Both kids by the way said they knew I was on estrogen since Nov.
Today I installed a humidifier for my brother and mentioned going to my parents afterward. I was going to disclose to him, but my wife felt I should tell my parents first. Okay that was my plan. My sister in law wanted to know why I was going to my parents and I said I had a personal issue to discuss. At that point my brother said everybody knows your transgender. Why that came out of the blue I have no idea so I discussed my feelings and plans for the future. I explained the benefits that estrogen has had on my mental state and the positive physical changes that are happening. I left feeling very good as they both gave me their love.
I arrived at my parents and engaged in some conversation. At some point I started laughing and my mom asked what was so funny. I was finding it difficult to start the conversation and then just told her I was in therapy with a gender counselor and was actively transitioning. My mom mentioned they knew something was going on and now she knew definitely. They both asked some questions and I explained the positive events that have transpired for me and why I think my decision to transition was the right course of action for me. We talked about the effects on my wife and kids, and in the end they gave me their unconditional love.
I feel much relieved that these disclosures are out of the way and I will be free to concentrate on many more issues as they arrive. I am happy to say that so far all the people I have disclosed have been positive with no ill feeling to date. I have had lengthy conversations with my business development manager and although does not quite understand the why's of it all understands it is important to me and has also noted the positive energy I have been showing. He congratulated me today for having the courage to address these issues head on and was glad My parents and brother were accepting.

[Sandra1746]

Good luck Stefan, it sounds like your family is accepting your transition quite well, especially compared to some of the other stories here. Getting family acceptance along the way may slow your transition but I strongly suspect it will make it far more pleasant for all concerned.

Best of luck in everything,
Sandra1746

[Jorja]

It is great your family is understanding and accepts what is going on with you. However, I do want to caution you to something that happens a lot. Let's call it family backlash. Many times after being told about ones transgender struggle, the family seems to accept it all then the next thing you know, they are all against it. I hope it does not happen to you. Just take it slow with them and answer the questions and deal with the problems as they arise.

I wish you all the best.

[Jodi Anne]

Stefan, I see your point and glad things went well. I will need to do the same one day soon as things can not be hid for long, I have stopped using the wet area at the gym to keep complaints down.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Jorja gives sound advice. I hope everything works out as you plan and that everyone remains supportive for you.

[stefan37]

I appreciate the advice given and will keep an eye out for changing attitudes. I believe the initial support will be sustainable as my brother and sister-in law have known for a long time time and my mother and father have also known or suspected seeing some of the changes I have experienced are physical. i told both sets that even though they may have known or suspected, I am telling them so they hear it from me. However it eventually turns out I am glad I got these disclosures along with my kids out of the way and can now continue to conduct my life as I see it. I kinda think it also allowed my wife to come to better accept knowing that I disclosed to my family without the whole affair getting blown to shreds.

Funny my therapist a while ago felt it would help my family if my wife was on board and my wife felt it would help her if my family was on board. So I guess they know all openly know so they can now lean on each other for support.
Next is my wife's family. I disclosed to my sister in law on my wife's side at Thanksgiving and she at that time was understanding and supportive. At some time I will disclose to the rest of her family and we will see what outcome transpires. The only person we will not tell is her mom who at 89 is in decent physical health but declining mental health. I can be myself around her and it does not effect anything so why make it an issue where none exists.
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