Want to come out to my GG friends

[daisygurl462]

My SO found out about my CDing about a year and half ago and things have been going really well between us. It was a liberating feeling to be accepted by her for who I am and I was really happy she found out. More recently, I've had this growing desire to tell more of my friends of my CDing. I only feel like telling my closest GG friends, and I think that comes from the hope that they will be understanding too. I have this feeling that women are more accepting and can relate to my need to express my feminine side. I've done some makeovers at Nordstrom recently, and nothing beats the feeling of being accepted as "one of the girls."

Have any of you gals had this feeling? I hope I can feel comfortable opening up to at least one of my friends but worry about risking my privacy or letting my secret out.

[Jenara]

Pretty sure telling my wife is as far as I ever want to go. I don't know that I'll ever tell my son when he's older.

[Jenniferathome]

Just keep in mind that the more people you tell, the less "secret" it becomes. If maintaining your privacy is important, take special care sharing this part of you. In all likelihood, your girlfriends may not care at all but they may also talk more freely than you would like.

Good luck

[Persephone]

Is your SO in agreement that you can open up to others? That's important!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[wilt575]

My SO found out about my CDing about a year and half ago and things have been going really well between us. It was a liberating feeling to be accepted by her for who I am and I was really happy she found out. More recently, I've had this growing desire to tell more of my friends of my CDing. I only feel like telling my closest GG friends, and I think that comes from the hope that they will be understanding too. I have this feeling that women are more accepting and can relate to my need to express my feminine side. I've done some makeovers at Nordstrom recently, and nothing beats the feeling of being accepted as "one of the girls."

Have any of you gals had this feeling? I hope I can feel comfortable opening up to at least one of my friends but worry about risking my privacy or letting my secret out. Just be yourself and open up, come on out and be yourself (Jennifer). Be true and honest with your friends and they will true to you. If they are true friends, otherwise are they worth having. I have always gotten along better and hung out with girls better than guys, more so when dressed. You are one hot (as in tabasco pepper) chick.

[bridget thronton]

I have told 4 very good gg friends. They have been extremely supportive. (my wife and adult children know of course)

[Carrie R]

In my experience you only need to tell one GG friend. Then she will tell the rest of them. In my case it went well so I wasn't mad.

[mikiSJ]

Just keep in mind that the more people you tell, the less "secret" it becomes.

In my experience you only need to tell one GG friend. Then she will tell the rest of them.

How many "friends" GG or otherwise, do you really want to know about your "secret"?

[Beverley Sims]

I did not come out to any one, my gg housemates dressed me up and made me up and then took me out.

[DonniDarkness]

Daisey,

Once your out, there is no going back in. Make sure your ready for people to know. It sounds like you are and you have your SO,s support and thats a great start.

Its not as scary as you think. Just be sure your ready.

-Donni-

PM me if you have specific questions, im around

[Annaliese]

Is your wife ok with you telling a GG friend. If she is not that could get you in hot water, and she may become less supportive. We as CD have to think everything through be fore we do anything, who it will hurt, Sometime we are in the pink fog we forget about other.

[Barbara_Jean]

You have to Feel them out first AND the situation. It is true that the more people that know, the more Out you will be, so you need to take that into consideration as well. If you are "out" to these GG friends, how many other people will they tell? In my case, I am out to only one GG friend who is very supportive. I started out telling her that I have a Very Feminine Side, which is true and she could see that. Then I joked around with her about going Dress Shopping! So one day we were talking about my feminine side and I told her how I had wanted to be a girl since I was 3, she said So you Really DO want a Dress!! And she said that it was very sad that I could not be who I wanted all my life! She is now very supportive of my female side and has helped me a lot! I have another GG Friend that I started feeling out the same way, and she rejected everything!! So I could NEVER open up to her.
So that is just a little bit of what I have gone through. My only advice is to proceed with Caution! I wish you all the best luck always
Barbara

[Ressie]

Yep, this will turn into gossip and some will tell their guy friends too. There is no such thing as coming out to a few GG friends IMO.

[Kate Simmons]

Just be careful. What comes to my mind with this is that women like to talk. If you've ever seen the old Faberge Organics shampoo commercial from the 1980's you'll know what I mean. "I told two friends and they told two friends and so on and so on........":):)

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I have had similar feelings however, I have never acted on them. Why do you want to tell your GG friends? Is there anything to be gained by telling them? Once you have told someone you no longer have a secret. Does your SO have an opinion?

Consider the risk/reward of such an action.

[Alice B]

I have told a couple of GG friends, but only after asking myself if I'll be OK with them telling their spouses or SO's, because they will. It is a delicate line, so think it out.

[AshleeM]

I've told alot of my GG friends and for the most part it has been great, they all have been very accepting and even somewhat curious. As others have mentioned, your secret is most likely to spread to others. All it takes is one drunken night and its out there for everyone, I've experienced it first hand. I'm not worried about what others think (not to imply that you are) so it was not that big of a deal but it could be different for others.

[kimdl93]

As others have said, it seems that you should first run this by your SO. if she's ok with the idea of expanding the number of people who know, then that's a positive. Of course, the larger question is whether you want to enjoy a more open and public life en femme...if so, then it's time to start taking steps by coming out to more of your inner circle.

[daisygurl462]

Just keep in mind that the more people you tell, the less "secret" it becomes. If maintaining your privacy is important, take special care sharing this part of you. In all likelihood, your girlfriends may not care at all but they may also talk more freely than you would like.

Good luck

I didn't really think about this. I guess I assumed that the one I would tell would be someone I could really trust, but how can you really know?


Is your wife ok with you telling a GG friend. If she is not that could get you in hot water, and she may become less supportive. We as CD have to think everything through be fore we do anything, who it will hurt, Sometime we are in the pink fog we forget about other.

Agree! Nothing is ever a cut and dry clear choice! I still need to ask my SO how she feels about it.


I've told alot of my GG friends and for the most part it has been great, they all have been very accepting and even somewhat curious. As others have mentioned, your secret is most likely to spread to others. All it takes is one drunken night and its out there for everyone, I've experienced it first hand. I'm not worried about what others think (not to imply that you are) so it was not that big of a deal but it could be different for others.

I am worried about my privacy and do not want the secret getting out in the open. So I will probably give it much more thought before I even consider telling anyone else. But now that I know the feeling of sharing this side with someone else, I just want to continue the good feelings of being accepted. I guess underneath it all, maybe telling a GG friend would make me feel more like a woman. Being accepted by a GG friend would just be more reinforcement.

[Melissa Rose]

Are you willing and able to lose one of your GG friends or change the way they think and interact with you? Just because it went well with your SO does not mean it will be the same with all of your most trusted friends. I have friends who were surprised about how specific friends and family members reacted when they found out. It is not always obvious and logical.

As others have mentioned, the more who know your secret, the less of a secret it becomes and the less control you have about who knows. I have an acquintance who was accidentally outed by a co-worker who blabbed after a night of partying (i.e.,drinking) with other co-workers. I almost outed someone when I misunderstood which of their friends knew. It was dumb luck that it did not happen.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Just tell the one you trust the most and the word will get out.

[xdressed]

I'll mostly echo what other's have said to me when I posted a similar thread, which is to make sure you have an actual reason for telling them. Do you want to hang out with them dressed, go shopping etc? Whoever you tell is likely to tell their other half, but that doesn't mean they will if you ask them not to. I had to tell my house mates to tell their SO's when I came out to them because I didn't want them to suddenly walk into the living while I'm dressed and be caught off guard. A good technique is to test the waters a little bit first, people can surprise you sometimes one way or the other.

[jenni_xx]

I agree with a lot of what the other posters have said to you. Once the cat's out of the bag, then there's no going back and you won't be able to control who does and who doesn't know. Having said that, there's nothing wrong with being honest, and the feeling of acceptance is a great feeling indeed. And it can be a great filtering process - those who don't accept you don't deserve your friendship anyway, and in being totally honest with your close friends, those who do accept will admire your honesty, and indeed bravery, in telling them.

Only do this however if your SO doesn't have a problem doing so. I assume that you both have common friends, and if any of these common friends aren't accepting, then it could pose a problem, not just for you, but for your SO in terms of your SO's friendship with the people in question. I would therefore have a chat with your SO and make her aware of this possibility. If she's not happy with you coming out to close friends, then respect that and don't do it.

To answer your question though, I have indeed had this feeling and I acted on it. But it was a little different for me in that I'm gay and came out as a gay man to my friends before I came out with my cross-dressing. So I had already gone through the "filtering" process - the friends I had left were all accepting of my sexuality and so the issue of my cross-dressing was seen as no big deal at all. When I met my current partner, who I'm now married to, I had the worry of telling him about my cross-dressing, but was fortunate enough that he accepted it.

[cindybabe]

Tread carefully because as most folk have said once you tell one, your secret is out and your S.O may not want this

[TanyaR]

As a SO, I would be sure to discuss it with your SO.
My hubby and I have told 3 of our mutual GG. They are very open minded and are great support to my hubby. He has not dressed in front of them yet, we are still discussing it. They have not told anyone else, even their husbands. We are a tight nit group and they are waiting for my hubby to gain his confidence some. Understanding his fear if this is spread around (kids, work, Bible Belt we live in).
I think you have to just "feel" these GGs out. Do they know each other? It helps if they have someone else to talk about it with. Just my 2 cents.

[Stacy Sissy CD]

Hi daisygurl462, firstly, you are such a feminine girl; so pretty! In March 2011, I came out to both my Biological and Foster Families; and close friends; all accept. Whilst Women are more accepting, I was pleasantly surprised when three of my Mates, whom I have known for many years, also accept. A girlfriend of one my Mates wants to go shopping with me! :) So, from my experience, if they are true Friends then they will accept your CDing.

[Amy A]

Hi Daisy (or is it Jennifer?),

I just this last week came out to two of my closest friends, both male. They were overwhelmingly accepting. The reason that I told them was because I was tired of hiding things from my best friends, and there's a very real possibility that I might need to take things further in the near future. But the feeling of being able to talk openly about this with a friend can't be underestimated; it's removed some of the burden from me.

Also, I don't really buy the whole 'any woman you tell will run off and tell everyone else' thing, it's a stereotype and doesn't take into account people's individual personalities. You will know better than any of us here which of your friends you could trust to keep this to themselves. Fair enough, prepare yourself for the possibility of others finding out, but remember that you are young and your generation is a lot more comfortable with gender variance than older ones are (ha! Who's stereotyping now? :D).

I built this up for years, convinced myself that no-one would accept, when in truth the reality was that my friends just want me to be happy. Proceed with caution, but don't let fear run your life and end up living with regret.

Rachel :)

PS you look great!

[Jenni Yumiko]

Agree with Annalise from experience. While my friend said she already knew and would love to have girl time with me, the wife wasn't too happy I told her. I think she feels a little threatened by her, and the fact that she would be more accepting than my wife even more so, so if I had to do it over I would ask the wife if it was ok first.

[Jamie001]

Friends that do not accept you as you are were never really your friends anyway. If you can't be yourself around friends, then why have those friends? It is a good way to determine who your real friends are. Women are usually a lot more accepting than men.

[Jessica_NZ]

Hi ya,

From my own experience - I have told all my close girl friends (5 in total) and most of my close male friends (6) which is alot I guess. Its been great, and they all support me but the thing I found really surprising was that the guys took it better! The girls seemed to be hessitant and even still a couple of them seem a bit weirded out. The guys on the other hand dont even raise an eyebrow, in fact when i'm in male mode they ask why i'm not dressed up! But I agree with what others have said - I have told 11 people (12 including my wife) but in the last 6mths or so I have found/been questioned by about 15 others who know! Once you tell one it is no longer your secret, its now theirs as well.

J

[London]

While some of our experiances have been positive, that cant go for everyone. I came out to 6 of my GG friends and they all are more than excepting. I luck out tho, My GG friends dont live in this small town. They all say my puzzle pieces make since now and seem to fit me well. Your SO should be the primary one you discusses this move with. She could get alot of flak for it, that you wont see. Or it could go to pure heaven. Alot of landmines need to be thought of first and take it step by step, Only if your SO is willing to do this with you or is OK with it. Just my 2cents

[pink femme]

In my experience, all the GG I have told have been fab. One used to stock me with tights whenever I wanted, others have allowed me to be Alice with them which was the best ever. It's something that is very hard to judge when you say something but I have never regretted the decisions to tell close friends. Have they told anyone else.....who knows....but without their help I may very well have emotionally crumbled.

Xx

[VickysBFF]

Hi Daisy: Firstly, are you dressing on an occasional basis or are you planning to transition or dress half-time or more? The answer to that will affect what you do.
All of the advice here has been very good and I only have one observation to add.
Any radical change will be surprising and maybe shocking to friends who have known you a long time... for example, if you were raised Jewish and as an adult converted to Islam or grew up a vegetarian and suddenly became a carnivore or anything along those lines.
If you want to develop female friendships you will probably have the best results finding new friends who only know you as female. If you can find some type of group to join with whom you share common interests that may help you acquire some new acquaintances.
Best of luck to you.

[daisygurl462]

Hey Gals! Sorry, I just saw that my thread started getting more activity again. Thanks for all the advice. Since I initially posted, I talked it over with my SO and we decided that I'll try a support group first. There's a good looking one near where I live that emphasizes privacy which is important to me. So I'll try to apply to them in the next month or two. I'm thinking I just need a more productive outlet than my occasional dressing at home and makeover and shopping trips at the mall. Hopefully being with more like-minded CDs will help me to grow and give me more time to think about the benefits and risks of telling my GG friends.