What's going on with me? Your opinions welcome....

[closetcd17]

So if you read any of my other posts where I approached my GF with my personal enjoyment of and desire to cross-dress.We got a few drinks in us and made me over.
(http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?177013-OH-WOW-OH-HELL!-I-TOLD-my-SO-last-night.....now-we-have-a-dress-up-happening-asap..)

I have since been very,for lack of a better phrase,"unplugged to the whole experience"

I haven't gone too far into this slump ---I think.By which I mean I haven't purged any of my (small amount of) clothes of my own--the rest are mostly hers I''ve been borrowing secretly any way---

We talk about it every now and then and she is not like against it in anyway save for me going out in public like that.She know I will still wanna dress and make up again sometime and I do still like to shave my legs and body still.I do however,feel almost silly at the idea of dressing up.Like I am acting foolish somehow by trying to delude my own eyes.
Just thinking off the top of my head,I think I'm maybe not secure about her acceptance.Like ,we've never fully laid out any groundwork for rules or conduct for in the house.So I just,in addition to already having been discouraged before,continue to not wanna dress up.

Now mind you she's fairly liberal (excuse me)" bedroom wise" and isn't shy about letting me initiate 'our private together time' spontaneously (so long as she isn't working on an important task). But this also ,for me isn't soley just about sex.I like my natural fem/androgynous look already in general,and I really like taking it farther when I CD because "blah blah " I really enjoy it and (some) of the process of getting girlied-up.

If I have to admit,sometime I have played around with different gender expression as well while dressed and don;t know how I feel or think about it.It feels like its "off" when I do.And it does't help that I know for sure that she once told she wouldn't be a fan of me sounding like a girl:/

Anyhow,I work lots and I don't know how to get any privacy to do this,so my issue comes back to zero:I told her and she dressed and made me up already,in theory/on-paper I SHOULD be able to just doll up whether she's home or not RIGHT (minus visitors or family and etc etc)???
(I can just imagine a humiliating scenario where she comes home and finds me made and dressed up when she gets off from work and she just laughs derisively without meaning to).

:daydreaming:I'm hoping for a fresh set of eyes on this whole mental discombobulation:Thoughts?

[Beverley Sims]

Overthinking, is a word that springs to mind here.
Just do it when you are both ready.

[dominique]

just let it evolve and in time you'll enjoy it better

[Ariamythe]

You're out of equilibrium, it sounds like. Something that you kept hidden has now been exposed; you're vulnerable. And even though the SO took it well, you've got this subconscious fear that their initial reaction is going to turn sour with time. Something that was once your secret is now someone else's secret, too. And so you drop into what I tend to call the "shame spiral."

I know where you're at, because I've been there. I am now, actually. Told the SO about two and a half weeks ago, and have since avoided putting it in front of her again for fear that her opinion will sour, and I'll lose her, or she'll demand I stop it, or something. Sharing with someone you love is both the bravest and the hardest thing to do; it's no surprise we then panic!

[franlee]

You are experiancing what I would call exceptance remorse, in essance she was so excepting you lost any restraint from yourself. So you now feel a shamed that you CD and there is nothing stopping you from endulging. It is a natural reaction and I wouuld guess many of us have shared it when we started even if we diidn't have such exceptance.
Don't give in to the urge to purge! Never!!!!!!!!! Put it away, store it or hide it, but don't throw it away, because not only will you regret it but it will cost you to replace it and probaably at the most inconvenient time.
Believe me the urge will return with a vengance. And even worse if you don't have access to your stuff!

Good Luck,
Fran

[ClosetED]

The other possibility, is you found love, and that has made you not need to dress right now. The author of 5 Languages of Love notes that couples fall in love and do well for a while but then need to work on keeping each other happy. So your need to dress may be off right now, but will return. SO don't purge but set the pace (or better yet) let her set the pace and enjoy it.