What not to wear CD style - get honest constructive advice from GG's.

[Tibby]

If you want honest constructive critisism, advice and opinions from GG's about being able to pass as a woman, on what outfits to wear and how to improve your look then feel free to ask a question or post a picture. It's not just about fashion or beauty, it's the whole picture.

The GG's will offer advice from one woman to another just like we do everyday with other GG's.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Tibby.
Thanks, but I have Jean and she definately will tell me when something doesn't work.:heehee:
I don't always listen tough. I am still a man.:devil:

[Beverley Sims]

My wife is familiar enough to me and advises me accordingly, yep a GG.

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks Tibby, the CDers with a little more moxie know this. For the most part I've realized for myself anyway it's all about being myself rather than a fashion plate. The tips from my GF and other ladies such as yourself are always much appreciated Hon. :)

[darla_g]

The GGs i have dressed for always bemoan the fact that so many CDs always want to dress ****ty.

[Jenniferathome]

Tibby, I think this is a great offer. I can offer one addition. To anyone wanting this advice, just post "GGs only answer" in your title.

[Tibby]

Thanks Jennifer.

Davida and Beverley, it's always good to have a woman's input when dressing or acting enfemme, afterall who better to ask than a woman. There does seem to be many here though who don't have the opportunity to get that feedback at home, and the only place they can is here. So it's more for their benefit though it's never a bad thing to get second opinions ;)

[docrobbysherry]

Women have never asked me what they should wear, why should I ask them what I should wear?

I know when I'm dressed trampy, look ridiculous, or over the top. But, I do it anyway. Because it's what I LIKE!

[DAVIDA]

Thanks Jennifer.

Davida and Beverley, it's always good to have a woman's input when dressing or acting enfemme, afterall who better to ask than a woman. There does seem to be many here though who don't have the opportunity to get that feedback at home, and the only place they can is here. So it's more for their benefit though it's never a bad thing to get second opinions ;)

Nope, didn't say it was a bad thing.:thumbsup:
I definately think that anyone can use another "set of eyes".:)

[sometimes_miss]

Women have never asked me what they should wear, why should I ask them what I should wear?
I'm going with doc on this one. Women all too often want other women to wear things that are 'appropriate for her age', and that usually means unattractive, even frumpy clothes as we get older, and of course that also means old lady hair styles, shoes, etc..
No thanks. If all women wore conservative, modest outfits, the world would be way less interesting. I like looking at women in sexy, even slu++y, clothes. And I like to feel like an attractive, sexy girl just like they do.

[suchacutie]

Brain surgeons don't study with arborists to learn their craft. If I want to learn about being a woman, it makes sense to me that the best source for information and advice is a woman!

[Shelly Preston]

Passing is not just down to what you wear

What you wear can go a long way to passing. I agree that a GG can give you invaluable advice but we might not always agree with it.
One of the most valued things you need is confidence which I think only really comes with experience.

[Tibby]

I'm going with doc on this one. Women all too often want other women to wear things that are 'appropriate for her age', and that usually means unattractive, even frumpy clothes as we get older, and of course that also means old lady hair styles, shoes, etc..
No thanks. If all women wore conservative, modest outfits, the world would be way less interesting. I like looking at women in sexy, even slu++y, clothes. And I like to feel like an attractive, sexy girl just like they do.

Yes there is an aspect of wearing what is appropriate for age as a woman in her 60's or 70's wouldn't wear the same style clothes she did in her teens or early 20's, even Madonna changed style over the years as she aged, yet she still looks darn good. I certainly would have said Helen Mirren in her red bikini was frumpy nor unattractive, and she was 62 then and still a very attractive well dress lady.

Every woman has her own style and likes to express that style, but asking a woman for advice on passing isn't all about style and certainly not about being told not to wear a style of their choosing. It's about getting information from the source. If I wanted to dress and pass as a man I would ask a man for advice. There is much more than just clothes, clothes are just one small piece of a larger jigsaw, you need all the pieces to slot into place to see the whole picture.

[AngelaSmith]

thank you! i will have to take a pic one day when i have the opportunity. this thread is much appreciated.

[Jenniferathome]

Women have never asked me what they should wear, why should I ask them what I should wear?

I have no doubt that a woman would not ask the typical man for fashion advice (Tim Gunn, maybe). Nor is Tibby suggesting that she will tell you what you should wear. Rather, she is offering feedback from a woman's perspective. Every time this fashion advice issue comes up, there is an overboard response crying foul about being "told" what to wear. Advice is not forced. It's advice. I ask for my wife's advice when I am dressing in guy clothes! And I'm supposed to have a clue about them.


I know when I'm dressed trampy, look ridiculous, or over the top. But, I do it anyway. Because it's what I LIKE!

And it is unlikely that you will ask for feedback on those occasions. Which is fine. That was not the OPs proposal.

Tibby, thank you. This is a generous offer. Those who want to go out and blend will be better for a woman's advice.

[Sarah Doepner]

My wife is my sounding board but I think she is reluctant to offer real critical advise and it's usually "You look nice dear." Now that's what I strive for, but I don't think I always hit it. The next time I need an honest apprasial I may have to just do a photo and post it here.

[Melissa Rose]

I would not limit the advice only from GGs. It takes more than just XX chromosomes. Not all GGs have a great fashion sense or can project beyond their own preferences and tastes. Not all GMs have bad fashion sense. Seek out anyone, GG or GM, that has a good fashion sense and has the ability to communicate in a way that is constructive and educational. It is going to be more likely a GG, but good advice is good advice regardless of the source.

Pictures are good, but nothing replaces an personal critique from a trusted source.

[Jilmac]

I grew up with GGs (six of them including my mother), had two wives and three daughters. Plenty of knowlege there about what to wear and what not to wear. Most of it came from observation. I guess the GGs in my life were pretty good dressers.

[AmyGaleRT]

My fiancee insists on seeing all my outfits once I'm dressed. She has given me useful advice on makeup and has even helped me pick things out when we're shopping.

And no, I don't dress inappropriately as Amy. Being my femmeself is exciting enough without needing to dress like one of those "pop tarts." :D

- Amy

[Tracii G]

Thanks Tibby that is very nice of you to offer.
I may take you up on that.

[Erica Marie]

Hi Tibby, thanks for this post. I may sound rude to alot of members here. But I see so many pictures of members, and I did it myself. Of us dressed in overly sexy or or outfits the average women women would not wear on a daily basis. Im am troubling myself over this every day. I have not yet been out in public dressed and I wont lie my fashion sense is not the greatest. I am attempting to work up the guts to find a store where I can have a sales associate help me put together an outfit or two that the average female would wear out and about every day. You know cute jeans and sweater the right kind of footwear to make it comfortable to be out in all day. Seems many of us appear ready to hit the night clubs and not the mall or grocery store. Ill take any advice you have to get me ready for the REAL world.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There is often friction between GGs and CDers when asking about fashion advice, or what one should or should not wear. It is tough because, at least for some of us, we have a desire to wear certain things that may be out of fashion, or we should not wear such and such because women don't wear such and such at a given place; for some of us, some things we wear are an integral part of the dressing experience (pantyhose stockings etc. is a big one.) This leads to misunderstandings for both people in the discussion, because on one side you have a GG giving advice we may not want to hear, and on the other someone who is very dedicated to wearing certain items or dressing in a certain way. As an example, most (probably all?) GGs would say "no one wears pantyhose anymore", and that you should not wear a skirt with pantyhose just to go shopping.

One thing I have found that is helpful is, rather than ask a GG what I should or should not wear (based on what GGs are currently wearing), I ask them to critique my female presentation instead. That is, how successful am I doing presenting the kind of woman I wish to be seen as. A GG would say don't wear a skirt suit, hose and heels to go to the mall and go shopping; instead I tell them I wish to be seen as a professional woman and ask how successful I am putting forth that presentation. That way, even if I am not blending in because of how I am dressed, I can at least ask is my presentation still a pleasant one? Is it offensive and will draw negative attention? Will people be likely to respect me even if they read me dressed as I am?

While most GGs I know tell me I am not dressed to blend, at the same time they tell me that even with all that given, my presentation is pleasant and I dress nicely and I put forth a positive image. I may not reflect the average GG today, and my dress may be a bit atypical or dated, but I take the fact they say I have a nice presentation as a woman as a high complement.

[Tibby]

One thing I have found that is helpful is, rather than ask a GG what I should or should not wear (based on what GGs are currently wearing), I ask them to critique my female presentation instead. That is, how successful am I doing presenting the kind of woman I wish to be seen as. A GG would say don't wear a skirt suit, hose and heels to go to the mall and go shopping; instead I tell them I wish to be seen as a professional woman and ask how successful I am putting forth that presentation. That way, even if I am not blending in because of how I am dressed, I can at least ask is my presentation still a pleasant one? Is it offensive and will draw negative attention? Will people be likely to respect me even if they read me dressed as I am?

While most GGs I know tell me I am not dressed to blend, at the same time they tell me that even with all that given, my presentation is pleasant and I dress nicely and I put forth a positive image. I may not reflect the average GG today, and my dress may be a bit atypical or dated, but I take the fact they say I have a nice presentation as a woman as a high complement.

Advice isn't ordering someone to conform, it is about offering constructive comments related to that persons presentation based on their own style.

So many CD's seem to have this idea that all GG's want to do is to tell them you must wear this or you must wear that and for all styles to be the same. Kate Middleton has a totally different style to Katie Price (Jordan), no one would ever think to tell either one of them they had to dress the same as they are both totally different in what they look and how they look, yet both manage to be beautiful and to be confident in their appearance.

That is what it is about, being confident in your appearance. Going shopping in a business suit and skirt is something seen often, I don't see how that would stand out, it's just a woman going shopping on her lunch break or after work. There are locations where you would dress to suit the setting or the occasion but this is something which everyone would do either out of respect or to follow dress codes, be they unspoken or enforced.

You are trying to generalise all GG's, this is comparable to someone trying to generalise all CD's, it simply can't be done as there are far too many individualistic styles, attitudes and interests.

Giving advice is on an individual basis, so telling someone "no one wears pantyhose anymore" isn't going to happen as obviously someone does. Some people wish to dress in a way that makes a statement and combine various styles from various era's, but that is their style and how they want to be, that's not something that should be changed. But if that person asks for advice on some aspect of their style then the advice would be specific to them. I don't actually think there is an average GG today as there are far too many different cultures, styles and access to clothing of choice.

The UK alone has countless different styles, some worn by large numbers of people and some by smaller groups. We have vintage shops opening all over, skater, emo, chav, girls and boys with electric blue and bright pink hair in new rocks, shorts with opaque tights and converse, skinny jeans and shirt, 50's style dresses are coming back with large floral design prints, full business dress or suits, it is simply endless. Each style totally different, so which one is average?

[Jana]

If you want honest constructive critisism, advice and opinions from GG's about being able to pass as a woman, on what outfits to wear and how to improve your look then feel free to ask a question or post a picture. It's not just about fashion or beauty, it's the whole picture.

The GG's will offer advice from one woman to another just like we do everyday with other GG's.

I strongly believe honest and constructive feedback help pave the way to growth. Personally, I'd rather get constructive criticism than empty compliments. Thanks again, Tibby!

[Amanda M]

That's a fine offer Tibby. I'm up for it, even though my wife is a fairly stern critic. So what do I do now?

[Alice Torn]

Good thread, and lots of good posts! There are a number of views on this, and not is wrong, really. I tend to agree with Sometimes Miss. If we could suddenly be transferred to the Ukraine, or Russia, or eastern Europe, we would find the normal wear for GG's is dresses, hose, and nice feminine shoes, or skirts and blouses. I think fashion is in the eyes of the Beholder, and the individual, not what is "in". I do think America was a better place, when women wore dresses and skirts MOST of the time, at least, the scenery was! Where whatever fashion you love, but with respect for others around you.

[Tibby]

That's a fine offer Tibby. I'm up for it, even though my wife is a fairly stern critic. So what do I do now?

You can create a thread and add (replies from GG's only), or post in the sticky thread "ask a GG" in the MTF forum, or if it's something you would like to be private you could pm one of the GG's.

[Alice Torn]

Allow me to add another thought. Age appropriate, is also in the eye of the individual or Beholder. I tell you, that nothing impresses me more, than seeing a senior citizen GG, dressed classy, with hair to or past her shoulders! And, showing a little leg. Senior citizen ladies dressed in nice dresses, or skirt outfits, and hosed legs, and longer than average hair is a total turn on! It saddens me to see the vast majority of senior ladies, with short, chiseled hair. If i could give all gg's advice, i would say, "please don't cut off all your lovely hair." I also remember hearing that many womens fashions are designed by men. So, take all advice for what its worth. Take some and leave the rest.

[bridget thronton]

Thanks Tibby (I agree it is helpful to get feedback on what works on my body)

[becky77]

Hi Tibby, thanks for this post. I may sound rude to alot of members here. But I see so many pictures of members, and I did it myself. Of us dressed in overly sexy or or outfits the average women women would not wear on a daily basis. Im am troubling myself over this every day. I have not yet been out in public dressed and I wont lie my fashion sense is not the greatest. I am attempting to work up the guts to find a store where I can have a sales associate help me put together an outfit or two that the average female would wear out and about every day. You know cute jeans and sweater the right kind of footwear to make it comfortable to be out in all day. Seems many of us appear ready to hit the night clubs and not the mall or grocery store. Ill take any advice you have to get me ready for the REAL world.

This all depends on what you want? If I go out it is to a club type atmosphere, I don't feel passable so don't have any intention of going to a mall but if I did, that would be a completely different kind of outfit. Don't assume people don't know how to dress appropriately, many have no intention of ever going out.


You can create a thread and add (replies from GG's only), or post in the sticky thread "ask a GG" in the MTF forum, or if it's something you would like to be private you could pm one of the GG's.

I think this is a great idea but what is stopping you from commenting on peoples picture threads now? I'm assuming your point is to help guide those who want to blend in for everyday normal life rather than just help someone with their look?
It would be really nice if you gave me some constructive feed back on my pictures, it doesn't always have to be about passing. I'm very aware of my failings but some tips on what could improve that would always be welcome :)

GG's rarely comment on the picture threads which leads me to believe they don't wish to upset us, now with this thread i'm wondering if what your really saying is most of us are doing a lousy job of it lol.

[Jenniferathome]

...GG's rarely comment on the picture threads which leads me to believe they don't wish to upset us, now with this thread i'm wondering if what your really saying is most of us are doing a lousy job of it lol.

Becky, my read on the offer is to take the cross dressers out of the equation and just have GGs only answer. And the perspective is, "as a woman, i wouldn't match that tope and that skirt because..." or "as a woman going to a club, the dress works but not the shoes, because..." To anyone wanting to blend in, it is the subtleties that are killer.

[becky77]

Becky, my read on the offer is to take the cross dressers out of the equation and just have GGs only answer. And the perspective is, "as a woman, i wouldn't match that tope and that skirt because..." or "as a woman going to a club, the dress works but not the shoes, because..." To anyone wanting to blend in, it is the subtleties that are killer.

Don't think i'm brave enough to face a panel of only GG's lol ;)

[jenni_xx]

Don't think i'm brave enough to face a panel of only GG's lol ;)

Judging only from your profile pic, the devil in your smile says to me that you could more than handle it :)

Sometimes we need constructive advice, and when I read posts on here which are constructive it's refreshing to see. We will happily seek advice on make-up by going to the make-up counters in department stores, or love it when a sales assistant brings out some clothes for us to try when we tell them that we are shopping for ourselves. I've no doubt that in such "professional" (retail) circumstances, the shop assistant is genuinely trying to help, but they are ultimately doing so because they can sense a sale, and irrespective of who the money comes from, it's still money in their coffers.

Yet Tibby here has made a fantastic offer to help, out of the goodness of her own heart. And I for one thank Tibby for that. And I believe that most of us here are novices in comparison to women that no matter how happy we are with our look, we can always strive to improve and thus shouldn't turn our noses up at such a wonderful gesture. I mean, it's one thing getting dressed only on sporadic occasions in our lives, it's another completely when it's something that is done 24/7, for as long as you've been alive.

What you, becky, said about us doing a lousy job about it, while probably said in jest, may have a ring of truth attached to it. Some of us do look great and have perfected a look that works for us. Others not so much. Some dress with the goal being that they can pass, others just because it makes them feel good inside, and for those that outside "presentation" doesn't matter too much. Some dress just for ourselves, others it has become a way of life. Some look at women and feel jealous at how good they look, others just want to wear the same skirt they are wearing, no matter how good they look.

There's a whole plethora of reasons from a wide variety of people here. And I applaud that. But there is one thing that binds us all together, no matter what our intentions/needs are in regards to our dressing, and that is acceptance. Be it acceptance from those closest to us, or acceptance from the wider world. It is something that, I believe, we all strive for - to be able to present our inner needs externally and not to be judged negatively for it. And it's from that perspective that I read Tibby's post, a person who has submitted that post with the best intentions at heart.

And for that reason, I thank you Tibby. Simply, thank you.