From Sir to Ma'am

[jocelyn_victoria]

When in transition, there are many milestones speed bumps and questions.
One speed bump I seem to encounter is work. Every time I attempt to feminize it usually results in a backlash of some sort.
It's funny how everywhere else in my life I notice an abundance of acceptance and even a lot of encouragement.
Is it me or do others have this as well. Who or where does a person go to for help in this area of transition?

[arbon]

Oh yes work has been such a fun place to transition! From being told I would be fired if I tried to transition, being told I would be fired if my boss saw me even around town dressed as a woman (which made life fun because after work I would always change and being in a small community I would be trying not to be seen by him), having them try to make me quit, having responsibilities taken from me and reduced hours, being given my own dress code because my boss loves me so much, coworkers who refuse to use my name or the right pronoun.....all sorts of fun stuff.
It has gotten better, but, can still be difficult - its a long slow grueling fight :)

And mostly done alone.

Where to go for help, I don't know really - but document everything that happens you might need it espescially if there are anti discrimination laws where you live that protect gender identity and expresion. If you end up wanting to sue you'll need all the facts straight.

I mostly just had to hold my head up and not let it show that I hurt and keep trying and refused to quit. That and I think the bosses girlfriend was putting a lot of pressure on him to leave me alone and not fire me in the end.

[Beverley Sims]

I think early attempts at feminizing yourself are difficult because of every body's resistance to change in the initial stages.
They are aware of you transitioning and see every bump that appears.
As it progresses acceptance is better because they expect to see some physical change and your personality is still much the same.
You are the same person only different. Always remain pleasant and helpful even if you strike opposition.
Eventually your features will soften and memories of the old you will fade.
When you take the high jump some will actually look forward to the event.
Do not keep secrets from them, tell them what they want to know without telling them in too much detail.
You associate daily with your colleagues at work but others only see you on a periodic basis.
To find external help I would look at a support group and ask questions here as you are doing now.

[jocelyn_victoria]

My biggest issue is I drive tour bus. When we are a multiple bus move and have multiethnic night trips we have to room with another driver. Neither gender is accepting. I've had some huge backlashes. Coworkers making very derogatory remarks. I'm working on how to report it without it blowing everything. Lol. I wish I had an office job but I don't Thank you for responding :)

[Badtranny]

My biggest issue is I drive tour bus. When we are a multiple bus move and have multiethnic night trips we have to room with another driver. Neither gender is accepting. I've had some huge backlashes. Coworkers making very derogatory remarks. I'm working on how to report it without it blowing everything. Lol. I wish I had an office job but I don't Thank you for responding :)

As if the office job would be any easier? Coming out at work and THEN actually transitioning at work takes a tremendous amount of intestinal fortitude. What you need to do is get a handle on who you are and then make a plan for living an authentic life.

[ChristinaMarie]

I do wonder myself how I would transition at work. I work in a chemical plant setting with 99% men, mostly with high school educations or less who love to hunt and fish. Transitioning into a woman there would be pure hell I think. I've basically come to the conclusion I probably have to quit and get a new job or just take a sabbatical and transition on my own for a while...

[Jorja]

I work in a chemical plant setting with 99% men, mostly with high school educations or less who love to hunt and fish.

Or you could develop an interest in hunting and fishing and fit in with the guys.

[ChristinaMarie]

Or you could develop an interest in hunting and fishing and fit in with the guys.

Great idea...I'm pretty sure if I was the world champion of bass fishing, if they found out I was transitioning into a woman half would ostrasize me. Such are close minded males

[jocelyn_victoria]

As if the office job would be any easier? Coming out at work and THEN actually transitioning at work takes a tremendous amount of intestinal fortitude. What you need to do is get a handle on who you are and then make a plan for living an authentic life.
I understand what you are saying. But what I am saying is I basically have to live with my coworkers. We room in same rooms. Men with men women with women. Where do I fall in? Physically male but truly a female. This is why I asked this question. How do you transition with the fact you are in same hotel room

Btw today I was oh soo close to coming out at work

[Badtranny]

Btw today I was oh soo close to coming out at work

Coming out is essential if you want respect. People don't respect sneakiness, or duplicity, in fact they don't even like it. If this is really bothering you than you need to own your identity. There is no 'ancient Chinese secret' that will allow you to breeze through the hard parts of transtion. It's a raw deal but it's a hell of a lot better than it was 20 years ago.

Are you TS? Do you need to transition and get on with your life? If so then make a plan and get on with it. Maybe coming out can wait for awhile, maybe you need to start HRT or electrolysis? Sort it out and start your life lady.

[jocelyn_victoria]

:-). Thank you. Just so frustrating. Lol

[Aimee20]

Jocelyn, there are a few things you can do to gauge how your work place will handle your transition. First is check local laws to see if your city/state's EEO policy includes gender identity. Second would be to broach the subject with your human resources department, even if doing do anonymously through email. Those two steps should let you know if your job will be on the line for taking the plunge.

Luckily there are more and more anti discrimination laws being put in to effect across the country. Even here in Nebraska the inclusive EEO laws are starting to pass. Even with those in place you have to make sure they would have no other reason to let you go. Make sure to keep records of performance reviews and the sort so off you believe you were let go unfairly that proper reports can be filed.

[jocelyn_victoria]

Thank you to everyone

There is still only one issue on my mind. How to transition when I have to room with coworkers

[josee]

Thank you to everyone

There is still only one issue on my mind. How to transition when I have to room with coworkers

Are there no female coworkers?

If not would your company really make a man and a woman room together?

[Beverley Sims]

The issue I see here is accommodation when touring.
Finding an agreement with Human Resources where they pay part of a separate room cost for you would be the answer I would strive for.
I realize you paying for a single room would negate the cost of your wages.
Sleeping with either sex is not really an option at this stage.