Anyone have an experience with the Military?

[AshleeM]

Recently I found myself in a slump, I have been stuck in the same house and same town for literally my entire life. College was depressing and my grades had begun to suffer. Throughout my life I have always been curious about joining the military, specifically the Airforce. So after lots of careful thought I joined up and should be going to bootcamp sometime in May or June, could be sooner or later.

Is anyone on here in active duty or have experience with the military? I know I won't be dressing up as often but I'm just curious about the view on military culture from other like minded individuals.

Any thoughts on my being kicked out if someone stumbles on my pictures? I've done a pretty good job of hiding my male persona but you could find a relationship between Ashlee and him if you looked hard enough.

[Ambergold43]

Probably best if people didn't find out about this "hobby." I don't know if you would get kicked out (as long as you claim to be gay, at least)... but it would almost certainly cause a fair amount of problems.

There is a post under the "young members" section about people being in the military. You should join that forum and ask people who are currently in that situation. Most likely they'll be the most help!

Like anything, just use caution and be smart.

[Leann68]

I spent 4 years in the USAF, I was only 17 when I joined, had a good time, learned a lot about life. For the most part it was a good experience. I would not try dressing at least until you have a couple of years behind you, and then only if you live off base.

[AshleeM]

Thank you both, I don't plan on sharing it with anyone as I would hate to have problems. Just figured I'd see if anyone around here had first hand experience with a post "Dont ask, Dont tell" world. Its not really something I can bring up with my recruiter hahahaha!

One good thing is I will be going in as an E3 due to accrued college credits and I have read that most E3s are allowed to live off base and given a stipend to do so. I'm going to have to put my girly wardrobe in storage during bootcamp and Tech school, but it would be awesome to be able to bring it with me and do some CDing in my own home!

[Stephanie47]

Ashlee, welcome. I just was looking at the pictures you posted at another thread. If you're headed to the Air Force in the summer, you're headed to communal showers and physical training with the possibility of shorts. You may want to consider deleting the Batman/Bat Signal photo. That tattoo with the pretty face may be a giveaway to your true identity.




Any thoughts on my being kicked out if someone stumbles on my pictures? I've done a pretty good job of hiding my male persona but you could find a relationship between Ashlee and him if you looked hard enough.

[AshleeM]

Ashlee, welcome. I just was looking at the pictures you posted at another thread. If you're headed to the Air Force in the summer, you're headed to communal showers and physical training with the possibility of shorts. You may want to consider deleting the Batman/Bat Signal photo. That tattoo with the pretty face may be a giveaway to your true identity.

Good point, I had not considered that! But I'm not too worried about, if anything I'll just call it a coincidence. What are the odds that I'll be bunking with an admirer or fellow cder?

I've got other tattoos as well so that might help me out, I've been careful to conceal the others.

Kinda funny how you said my batman tattoo would give away my secret identity hahaha.

[Dana3]

Twenty years in the Marines ~ Retired United States Marine Gunnery Sergeant. Mostly as a marksmanship coach, primary marksmanship instructor, drill instructor etc. You'll have to put your dressing on hold until you complete basic obviously, and it wouldn't be worth even moving your "stash" until you get to your first duty station. Of course if that's overseas, that can be a bit of a problem ~ but then again not really as you could have it mailed to yourself there ~ you would just need to find a place to store it, preferablly off base. Never have it on base anywhere near where your assigned. Ideally, I would just buy some totes or suitcases, and rent a climate controlled storage unit off base. Then go and get it when you want, rent yourself a hotel/motel room and have fun.

If you body shave ~ aside from basic ~ its pretty much how you present yourself the first time out. If you show up all hairy and then clean shaven that might raise some eyebrows. I knew a guy (non-CD) who shaved because he was training for the Iron Man Triatholon.

I wouldn't go around telling any and everyone. Its none of their business. Techically and legally you could potentionally still get in trouble if you were to run into the wrong person. Even with the new policy about gays serving openly in the military ~ cross dressing ~ could still fall under Article 134 of the Uniformed Code of Military Justice. "Conduct Un-becoming of a member of the Uniformed Services" If you go the storage/hotel/motel route I would do it in the next town/city over. Don't take nor post any photos.

You can PM me if you have any additional questons ~ or post here!

Dana

[andrea lace]

Yes I was in the British army and my military career started at the age of 16 and lasted until I was 21. At the time gay people were not allowed in the army so I adopted a DADT relationship with the army. I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the army it was like a new adventure every day and if I had my life over I would join it again. I didn't think that I had much of a problem back then wearing my mums underwear and when I joined the army I put it to bed and didn't dress for many years. I have only recently told my wife about my ways and she has been great and helped me along this path. I do think that my joining the army was a macho way of dispelling my desire to dress in women's clothes. I am 41 years old now and had all the anxieties and stresses that come with being a cross dresser. I suppose joining the army was a vain attempt in which to disguise the fact that I like to dress in women's clothes. This forum has helped me come to terms who and what I am after many years of thinking there was something wrong with me. I now have a great family life and a new deeper relationship with my wife. Sorry for waffling getting back to the OP. I loved my time in the army and look back on it with great fondness and would join again in a heart beat if I was young again. Keep it to yourself and don't get caught out. many people will smile at you but don't forget that a lot of their smiles will not mean friendship... be careful who you trust in that environment it is a very unforgiving place when it wants to be but at the same time there is a lot of camaraderie which I truly miss. I still have friends now from back then but they obviously don't know about me being a CD. if you want to know what real friends are like put yourself in a life or death situation and your friends are the ones that stick by you no matter what just remember that being in a combat situation and telling those people that you like to wear woman's clothes is a totally different thing. Good luck and enjoy :)

[Kathi Lake]

Ashlee,

32 years in the Air Force (so far). The advice you've been given here is good. Basically, keep it to yourself. This is the same advice I would give to a gay member. What you do is your business. Keep it that way. Being "out, loud, and proud" may work in the outside world, and is officially "OK" these days in the military (on a legal/political front, anyway), but is sure to not win you any friends in this most conservative of careers.

Kathi

[TNRobin]

I'm retired from the Army, almost all of that time in Special Forces. What I did was keep my clothing in a storage building off post when I lived in the barracks, later, when I moved off post I kept it in closet (no pun intended). When I dressed I went out of town and got a motel room, and I was not out in public then, I wasn't close to passable anyway.

Here's the thing. Be careful! Even though you can now be openly gay, you're still not allowed to be transgendered and crossdressing falls into that category.

[Bonnie84]

6 years Navy here. Certainly keep the CDing away while in any training environment.

Perhaps others on here can shed more light, but I've heard (not experienced) that if you're questioned about it as part of a background check that it is best to admit it then rather than to let the military find out. The way I hear it is that (officially speaking) they just want to know that you can be trusted. If you lie to them you can't be...or so the story goes.

[Debglam]

Some real good advice here Ashlie! I'll only add that there are A LOT(!!!!!!) of us that served in the military. You are in good company!!!

[JBPerry]

I sent you a PM.....I am an active-duty Marine.

[Allison Chaynes]

My experience with the Army, in a leadership role, was that leaders do not go LOOKING for a reason to kick people out. As long as you are a good airman, soldier, etc, and not making the service look bad, you will likely not have too much trouble. I had two soldiers that I knew were CD's (surprise barracks inspections lead to all kinds of discoveries) but I didn't care as long as it didn't cause problems. That said, I'd echo what everyone else is saying, don't do it on base, and be smart about where and how you do it.

[Stevie]

Last time I remember the military has a don't ask don't tell policy.

[allesha10]

Ashlee, I concur with everyone. There are and were many of us in the military, but even those that are cd's and active duty would be unlikely to accept you openly as they might jeopardize themselves. Start your career, accrue that GI bill, be professional and at the end of your time you will have a lot of college paid for and plenty of money to buy a new wardrobe when you get out. It is a shame though you are very pretty and have a wonderful smile.

[docrobbysherry]

You'll LIKE the military if u like:

1. Taking orders. Some of which r senseless and may come from folks who r not as intelligent as u.

2. Doing things that make no sense and may seem pointless.

3. Drinking and smoking. It's kind of required, I think. The longer you're in, the more u must drink!

4. Regimen. Doing the same thing over and over again. Whether u do it rite or wrong.

No idea about dressing in the service. But, if I had when was in, I mite not be here to write this!

[Tora]

Air Force, Air traffic control. The military has some dynamic training which cam lead to very good post-military employment. Your duty time has been explained. Good luck.

[Teri Ray]

30 years navy retired. All I can say is how you perform in your duties will be the primary issue for your military service. Your private life and desires ( those that are legal) should not be an issue as long as your work ethic is beyond reproach. Keep your privae life private and you should be fine. I do not believe changes in military accepting gays will serve you if you don't do your job. That being said miltary life is as good as any career choice. Just be the best you can be and you will be fine. Best wishes.

[RenneB]

Did the 6 year stint - 3 active, 3 inactive all in Germany... Put Renne away the entire time and had a blast exploring on my own. Do your time and save for completing college when you get out. You could always apply for inservice OCS I guess but I enjoyed being enlisted... Kept my nose clean and stayed one step ahead of my squad sgt.... I found out that they don't tell you what to do if you take charge of your job and do it well....

Here's a lesson I did learn though. Desired performance may be non-rewarding depending on the situation.

The military may not have any 'official' ways to handle CDing, but some of the others in the units may find a way... be careful.

Renne.....

[Lorileah]

as of this point transgenders are protected by the dissolving of DADT. You can still be discharged. The T's got the short stick on that but people are working on it,

[Lynn Marie]

I enlisted in the Army at age 19 during the Cuban Missle Crises. After the first year or so I was given all the responsibility I was willing to assume. I became a Communications Chief of a line Infantry Company. It was great fun and I got away with murder. Could have been court martialed for one of my pranks, but once again, I got away with it. Never even lost a stripe. Having a loud, fast motorcycle didn't help much. Needless to say I didn't get a "Good Conduct" medal. I loved my job and it's responsibilities, but pretty much hated the Army. Not a place for a free thinker. My job and responsibilities got me a fine carreer in telecommunications after release from active duty (one of the happiest days of my life!). Not a bad investment of three years. You could do worse.

[sonna]

be careful even tho they went from don't ask don't tell too (show and tell) so to speak. even tho its ok to be out now
and i think thats wonderful but they still look at crossdressing as a mental illness.. and can let you go

if you do decide to go the air force is a great choice i wish you all the luck in the world.

[AshleeM]

I haven't had any direct questions about anything remotely close to crossdressing so I am good on that front. I also understand I am going to have to scale back on dressing but I will still have time to do what I want. To be honest I haven't gotten fully dressed up (makeup and shaving) in about 4 months. Like anything though, you have to be able to control it and not let it control you. I realize that I will have to keep it under wraps and I am okay with that, I primarily share via the Internet anyway. I don't see that having to go away any time soon.

As some have said you have to take orders etc etc but the benefits are tremendous. Not only do I get access to cheap healthcare and insurance, among other things, my plan after the military is to use my GI bill towards law school. No other options are going to let me do that without incurring alot of debt.

I am hoping for a tough experience to be honest. As Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" after I am done with it I will be that much better of a person.

[Michelle Deere]

21 years in the Canadian Airforce. Joined later in life and kept things hidden for the first number of years, but a request for volunteers for a "womanless pageant" during training was just too much to pass on. After that, a couple of appearances at Halloween parties was "all in good fun", but most of my dressing was behind the closed doors of my apartment.
Years later I would run into some of these who had see "that " part of me and we would just a good chuckle of the occasion.
The Canadian Airforce is alot more layed back than the Army or Navy, so I got away with those few time....but I never pushed it. I like your sentiment of not allowing your dressing to control you, rather you can control it and enjoy it (safely) when you can.
Good Luck
Per Ardua ad Astra

[tammyfb]

One possible issue that might arise at some point, is if your AFSC (Air Force Specialty Code) which is the code used to differentiate career fields, requires a security clearance. A basic secret clearance might not be an issue but the higher the clearance the more they dig into your background. The things they key on are things that enemies foreign or domestic might use to get leverage over you. Secrets, financial, fidelity, past criminal history, etc... Past drug use doesn't seem to be a problem if it isn't something you are trying to hide, or so I've heard. Anyways, it may not be an issue at all but who knows.

[Dana921]

Hi Ashley,

Here are a couple of links you might find interesting. They are to a group called Outserve which is a group mostly formed to support gay and lesbian military and former military members. The local group here in Colorado also helps the TG folks where they can, but you still have to understand that at this point openly serving as a TG is not allowed, though local commands have been know to not acknowledge some of it members doing it unless something came up that forced the issue. One of the interesting things is the newest head of the organization is a MTF transsexual who graduated from West Point. See links and I hope this helps!

http://lezgetreal.com/2012/10/allyson-robinson-named-to-head-outservesldn/

http://www.sldn.org/

Dana

[Shiny]

Hi Ashlee:

Yeah, I signed up for the Air Force back in '74 on delayed enlistment. I took all the testing and such but once I got to the AFEES main depot I was walking past the US Marines recruitment office. I took a look at the flag and the uniform and decided to change. I knocked on the door, talked to the recruiter as I held my Air Force papers in hand and told him I wanted to switch branches. He asked: "Did you sign anything yet?" I said "No." He grabbed my papers, rubber stamped over the Air Force stamp, then signed his name to my papers and Wallah, I was in the USMC!

I didn't have a great time while in. I got injured in training--back then it was much tougher with a 37% training fail rate for medical reasons. They found out I could type so I was made company clerk, sort of a Radar O'Reilly which was a powerful position so it wasn't bad towards the end.

Since you are young I understand the "same town" same "home" and such and the boring nature of life after high school. But If I had kids I would say, even though my USMC experience was pretty tough, I'd say sign up! Here's why---

I got discharged with a 10% disability--which is now 40%. I have arthritis and the medication costs $500 dollars per week for injection (Around $25,000 dollars a year!). The VA sends me a monthly disability check and totally pays for all medications, it's been basically a free ride so far. And I get free hospitalization, checkups, the works and never see a bill. The folks at the VA have treated me like a king! And you even get free burial too--that's the first benefit you'll learn about--you are signing up for the "armed forces" afterall. And---you have Vet's preference for any state or federal job you apply for after the service. And---going in right after high school is great because you get to run off that nervous energy and grow up a bit before starting college--which also offers other breaks to vets! The list goes on and on.

You also get the G.I. Bill which can help pay for college or you can take free college in the Air Force Community College and go on from there. They pay to move you when you move, you get stipends and clothing allowances. If you are single and live on base you can almost bank your entire monthly check as you can live and eat for free on base! At the PX everything is cheap and tax free--I used to get cigarettes for only $2 dollars a carton! And if you sign up for different duties or have a proper MOS you can basically see the world for free. I had a friend in the navy who recently retired who said he'd been around the world 4 times!

I'm on Social Security now too, but I will tell you that without my VA or Soc Sec I would be in a real bind, who am I kidding, I'd be on the street!!!---not to mention I could never afford $25 grand a year for my medicine. So if I am careful I can live out the rest of my days with a clean place to live, enough movies, food- 3 meals a day, beer and cigs to enjoy myself. The service isn't for everyone--I was never a "joiner" or a "team" player but just remember--to get along, you go along and you'll be fine. It should be an eye opening experience that you won't get anywhere else. But the CDing? Yeah I well remember. Back in my day getting caught was an instant out--a head-case deal which could have meant a less than honorable discharge--which would affect your future benefits. Not to mention that if you are caught or suspected you will be ostrasized and might face a beating or two because that's just the way it is. You'll have to put the dressing on the side for a long time, the military and dressing is like oil and water--definitely! Do not mix. Some will tell you that the DADT deal is great but don't you believe that, times haven't changed that much.

So, grow you leg hair out, learn to belch and stratch your belly and enjoy your whiskers on the weekends but put the heels and hose out of your mind for the duration. It's way too much work to travel the world dragging your secret suitcase behind you and renting storage lockers and lonely motel rooms. That will rot your mind--believe me!! And if you are always dissappearing on days off or liberty your friends may begin to wonder. Forget the CDing, you can do it--I did. Just remember it comes back with a vengeance once you get out. Then with all the money you've saved you can go nuts to your hearts content! I did!! Still, in this economy the service is just about the only way a regular guy can get any security for later on in life. Going from being a teenager to 55 years old may seem a lifetime away but snap your fingers once. The time between those years takes about as long as the echo to die from the pop of the fingers. You'll see how fast it went once you get to my side of the fence....


Take care and drop me a line if you like.

Shiny--

[Beverley Sims]

I think all your questions have been comprehensively covered, I can only reiterate be very careful if you want to CD.
These days you can be gay but do not cross dress.

[Jamie001]

I think all your questions have been comprehensively covered, I can only reiterate be very careful if you want to CD.
These days you can be gay but do not cross dress.

Why? It should not matter if you crossdress when you are not on duty and not on base. If you get caught, just tell them that you are gay and that it's a part of being gay. I believe that should work.

[reb.femme]

Hi Ashley,

Just to say good luck...I loved and still yearn for those great days, but life moves on.


Per Ardua ad Astra

Didn't know Canadian Air Force used the same motto as the RAF. 12 years aircraft techie!
'Through endeavour to the stars'..........glory!

Rebecca

[Cam]

I am an Air Force vet. I agree with those who say put it aside for now. There used to be an expression about keeping you indiscretions 100 miles from the flag pole. While cding is not an indiscretion on our minds, any in the military disagree and while they may not kick you out as they would ave when I was in, if your fellow airmen find out about you they can still make your life a lonely living hell.

[AshleeM]

I am an Air Force vet. I agree with those who say put it aside for now. There used to be an expression about keeping you indiscretions 100 miles from the flag pole. While cding is not an indiscretion on our minds, any in the military disagree and while they may not kick you out as they would ave when I was in, if your fellow airmen find out about you they can still make your life a lonely living hell.

Yep I've come to that conclusion as well, I can't bear the thought of actually getting rid of my stuff so I will most likely leave it all in storage and charge it to my credit card.

[Michelle Deere]

Rebecca,
that was the official RCAF motto until '68 when Unification (all three services) occurred to create the Canadian Forces, but still widely used "unofficially". Sic Itur ad Astra (Such is the Pathway to the Stars) is the current motto that was used by Air Command (during years of unification) and has been carried forward even though the Air Force recently (Oct 11) were given the "Royal" back.
Michelle

[julie08]

Hi Ashlee, I'm active duty Army, 6 years now. I've been married the whole time, so I haven't had to live in the barracks. The hardest time for me is when deployed, when there is no chance of ever dressing. Being a signal soldier, we don't conduct many barracks checks unless the unit feels there may be a problem (only happened one time while deployed). Some NCO's can be dickheads, so I wouldn't chance having your stuff found. As others have said, keep them off site and stay in a hotel.

[Sarah V]

Just sent you a PM, as my long thoughtful post to answer some of your questions and to give you some other advice timed out on me before I could get it posted. Pls PM me if you have any further questions. Good Luck with the AF.

[mikiSJ]

1 year, nine months, 18 days, 12 hours and 37 minutes in the USN 1965-67.

Looking back I can honestly say the reason it wasn't 20 or 30 years is I was having an internal crisis over how I would have to handle my strong desire (at the time) to crossdress and I simply couldn't come up with an answer.

[AmyB93]

I have been in for almost 20 years. I still dress for the most part when I can. Now the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy has been lifted so it shouldn't be a problem for you to do what you want. However, I would still take it slow and careful when you do. There are those out there that do not like gays, bi's or lesbian's even though DADT has been lifted.