Depressed Over GF Thoughts

[katlee]

So while showering my GF asked multiple times if I was gay, I have told her in the past that I am not. I am very open with her about my feelings and I share as much as she wants to know about my CD hobby.

She proceeded to talk about her gay friends back in her home town, but referred to them as "it". I am wondering if she considers me an "it".
PS. I am sorry for not correcting her upfront with proper gender terms and educating her on ALLY language, but I was on the way to work.

Could use a hug right now.

Kat...

[Kathi Lake]

Sorry, Kat!

Be there for her, love her, and yes - educate her - but in a loving way. Remind her that gay men don't like women, so why would one dress up as one to attract one? :)

Yes, it is a common stereotype, as the only "acceptable" crossdressers in most peoples' eyes are drag queens, who dress for entertainment. Why do we dress? Yeah. Exactly. We don't have a very valid reason to most people, so it's hard to understand.

Again, be there for her, and educate when you can.

Kathi

[Jenniferathome]

Is she actually calling people, "it" or is she referring to homosexuality as "it"? The nuance is important. And if she has gay "friends" seems odd that she would be so insensitive tot hem.

[docrobbysherry]

Kathi is rite, Kat. People don't understand CDs. When I first began, I was one and still had all sorts of misconceptions about what I had become!

U should communicate at relaxed and non-threatening times when u both r open to listening and expressing your feelings!

[katlee]

She refers to them as not "she or he", but "it". It may be a cultural difference as she was not born in the US.

[pink.switch.love]

Sounds like you should consider moving on... find somebody that understands and likes you and what you do.

[Jenniferathome]

She refers to them as not "she or he", but "it". It may be a cultural difference as she was not born in the US.

Seems like a good question to ask her.

[Beverley Sims]

Katlee,
I think you are doing right by sharing feelings.
It is not necessary to correct her up front but keep referring to he/she and if appropriate at some time say "it" is not a word referring to CD's you use "she" instead.
It is not a big deal and if you have a good relationship with her why destroy it for supposed "political correctness".
Do you shower with your girlfriend?
If you do, you know already it does save water.

[ElleduSud]

Is she actually calling people, "it" or is she referring to homosexuality as "it"? The nuance is important. And if she has gay "fiends" seems odd that she would be so insensitive tot hem.

Hey! You're the one calling them fiends....

LOL

[katlee]

Katlee,
I think you are doing right by sharing feelings.
It is not necessary to correct her up front but keep referring to he/she and if appropriate at some time say "it" is not a word referring to CD's you use "she" instead.
It is not a big deal and if you have a good relationship with her why destroy it for supposed "political correctness".
Do you shower with your girlfriend?
If you do, you know already it does save water.

Yes I do, got to be environmentally friendly :)

[Stephanie47]

I would not beat to death the terminology she has used. If it is a cultural difference or not, tell her you prefer to be address with feminine pronouns when en femme, and, I am assuming, masculine pronouns when not en femme. Over the years certain minority groups have "corrected" me as to the "current" terminology. When you've been around for six decades you'll see the changes.


[QUOTE=katlee;3099917]She refers to them as not "she or he", but "it". It may be a cultural difference as she was not born in the US.[/QUOTE

As to questioning whether or not you're gay, I'd say that is nothing more than she trying to figure out cross dressing. If she is younger than your 26 and has not encountered cross dressers, she is probably totally confused. If I were a young female, I'd be totally confused too!

[becky77]

She is still your GF so it can't all be bad :)

[Jenniferathome]

Hey! You're the one calling them fiends....

LOL

friggin auto correct!

[Kelley]

Don't really have any more to add but it doesn't look like anyone gave you a hug

:hugs: I hope you feel better

[Aylineira]

I think crossdressing is probably one of the most misunderstood art of our time.

[Tammy Nowakowski]

Katlee here is hug for you