When you are dressed

[KatieGG]

Does your wife/girlfriend/people that know call you by your female names or refer to you as a female? Just a random question in my head. The only time I call my husband Jasey is if we go out somewhere with him being dressed, Its really the only reason he came up with a name.

[Tracii G]

My BGF does all the time if we are out.
If I'm in drab and we are out shopping she will say I'll bet Tracii would look hot in this, then whisper go try it on LOL.

[AmyGaleRT]

Usually, when she calls me, my fiancee will say "Sweetheart?" or "Dear?" or "Babe?" no matter whether I'm dressed or not. If she knows I'm dressed, though, she'll sometimes vary it by saying, "Amy dear?"

If she's on Skype with her friend or her friend's brother, both of whom know, and they know I'm dressed, I'll often get a "Hi Amy!" from one or both of them. And of course, I'll respond with an enthusiastic "Hi!" :)

- Amy

[franlee]

We tried that using Fran at the house but it just didn't work out, now if we were out and with-inear shot of anyone she would call me Fran, she's sharp about that. Sad thing is we don't get to go out together like we used to, very rare now-a-days so it's not a big issue for us.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Usually she will address me by my femme name and as a female, although sometimes to get me in a hissy and all riled up she will call by my male name!:Angry3:

[Jenniferathome]

Only if we are out and because anything else would be more odd than me cross dressing

[SarahMarie42]

My significant other says ". . ."

Because I'm currently single :]

[Eryn]

Yes, she calls me by my femme name any time I am dressed. It just seems natural to do so.

[Emma Beth]

For me at the moment, we only refer to my femme self that way when we are out shopping for my clothes.

I think for her and me at the moment anything else would be just to much. We're still getting used to everything with baby steps; although, they feel more like toddler sized steps at the moment.

[Tara D. Rose]

My wife always calls me Tara when I become Tara. I won't even answer to my guy name at those times.
Love & Respect,
Tara

[Lorileah]

My GF always called me Lori. She even would ask where Lori was when she thought it had been too long since we went out

[Bree Wagner]

My wife calls me Bree and refers to me as she/her when were out about 95% of the time. She's pretty good about it.

[Nataliebabe]

My wife hasnt called me Natalie yet. It drives me nuts. She either calls me by my guy name or "hey babe".

[jenni_xx]

My husband calls me "hun" pretty much all the time, whether I'm dressed or not. In fact, I can't actually remember when he last called me by my male name! When I'm dressed though, he has on occasion called me sweetie, in a teasing way. With Friends, it's hit and miss whether they call me Jen or not. I don't mind at all really.

[Billie1]

Gee, now that I think about it, my Mom, Dad and Grandma always used to call me by my femme name!:D

[DAVIDA]

Jean will refer to my fem name, but normally doesn't address me by it.:straightface:

[xdressed]

My girlfriend never refers to me as Rihannon or as a she, probably because she doesn't really understand why and/or it makes her uncomfortable. I've never really felt the need to push it a bit further because I've not been dressed around her that much until very recently, as I came out to my housemates and a couple of friends. One of the friends refers to me as Ria and she (her Dad is now Emma so she has a pretty good understanding of trans issues) but I haven't even mentioned to the others that's what I prefer yet. Perhaps another house chat is in order ^_^

[Lady Catherine]

My fiance calls me Cathy. I don't mind Cate or Cat, but I. prefer Catherine. I don't care for Cathy. She's trying, though.

[Lea]

My wife never calls me Lea, although I think it is just out of habit.

The only time she uses Lea is if she is going shopping she will ask if Lea needs anything or of we are out together she will ask if I want to look for anything for Lea.

I would be thrilled if she did.

[Jenn868]

my gg friends call me by my female name when im dressed up and sometimes when we hang out when in boy mode. they are very supportive and know it makes me feel good!

[Breeze]

My husband initially liked me to call him by female name when DC but now doesn't mind, as he has said that is his name and CD is part of him! :D

[JackieInPA]

My wife has a lot of trouble remembering to call me Jackie in female mode and using female pronouns. When she is talkinga bout me to someone she slips and says she all the time when not talking about my fem side...it drives me crazy sometimes.

[flatlander_48]

So far I haven't felt the need to decide upon a femme name. I guess it just doesn't seem important to me. However, if I did have one I think my wife wouldn't have a problem with using it.

[KatieGG]

I always felt it would be weird to call him Jasey when we are just at the house he doesn't try to act like a female...infact he is very un-lady like. I either call him by his real name or bayy. We have a lot of inside joke and call each other names that if someone that doesn't know us heard, they would think we don't like each other. lol

[linda allen]

I would love for my wife to call me by my feminine name (not "Linda") but so far she hasn't. I drop hints every now and then like "Xxxxx's side of the closet is getting really full." but so far it hasn't worked.

[Maria S]

When we are out with me in boy mode we always refer to Maria as if she were a third person eg my wife would say "Those shoes would be good for Maria"

Maria

[Tammy Nowakowski]

my wife would just call me dear
tammy

[Barbara_Jean]

I have a GG Friend that goes out with me, she is not a GF, just a Friend. She encourages me and understands that Barbara is the Real Me, so when we go out, she calls me Barb, and reffers to me as "She" and "Her" which makes me feel Wonderful!! She even calls me Barbara Jean before I get dressed!

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, suprizingly enough, my SO does call me "Crissy", while I am dressed up.

[jenni_xx]

I always felt it would be weird to call him Jasey when we are just at the house he doesn't try to act like a female...infact he is very un-lady like. I either call him by his real name or bayy. We have a lot of inside joke and call each other names that if someone that doesn't know us heard, they would think we don't like each other. lol

Hi Katie

Does your hubby not act feminine when dressed? I know some men just like wearing the clothes and don't adopt what we would traditionally regard as feminine mannerisms, or indeed try to create a feminine persona that accompanies their dressing. Such men have no desire (or need) to pass, or to be regard as a woman even while dressed, so the idea of having a fem name or being referred to in the female pronoun just doesn't enter their thought process. Having said that, your hubby does have another name, and while it is a female name it is slightly ambiguous (could just be "short" for Jason for example). So I get the impression that even though you don't refer to him as Jasey while at home, you do refer to him as that while out (like you said, that being the only reason why he even has a fem name). Which leads me to ask, when out dressed, does he act lady-like then, and is it a need/desire of his to pass?

Before I came out as gay, I had a girlfriend who I told about my cross-dressing although we never went out with me dressed. It was kept strictly indoors, but she did note that when I dressed, even if just partially, I did exhibit more feminine traits. The funny thing was that I didn't realise I was exhibiting them. Slowly, unconsciously, such traits would become more prominent, even while I was not dressed en femme, and that was hard for her to deal with. She felt that my gender lines were becoming blurred and my masculine side was becoming more and more subdued. When I suggested to her that I wanted a female name, she flipped out and felt like it was becoming too much for her. Looking back, it was more an icing on the cake kind of thing, rather than a catalyst that resulted in her becoming less accepting of my dressing. I didn't react too well, as at the time I couldn't understand why she would be accepting to begin with and then later want to brush it under the carpet. But now I realise that I was taking things too far and too quickly for her to handle, which in terms of the relationship I was selfish to do. Of course, because I am gay, what I was doing without realising it was using my dressing as an outlet for my own sexuality. It was only when I stopped repressing my sexuality and accepted me for who I am that I realised what was happening. That, naturally, signalled the end of our relationship, which was inevitable anyway, but it didn't stop me from feeling bad about it.

Oh my, I've gone off on a tangent there!! Sorry about that :)

[~Joanne~]

Not really. My So usually calls me by a nickname ( Hon, Dear, Sweetheart) no matter how I am dressed. She knows of my femme name but never really uses it nor do I. When we are out shopping and come across something she thinks would look nice on me, she usually just blurts out "This would look nice on you" which sometimes leaves me in a bit of a spot lol Still, I can't complain ;)

[KatieGG]

Jenni,
When we go out and he's dressed he doesn't really act any different, little things like his walk and how he sits change but thats really it. He tries to pass look wise, and does a pretty good job. He says it's more important that he looks cute. I don't remember how he worded out but pretty much "if they can tell I'm a guy I atleast want them to think hey at least he pulls it off"





When we are out shopping and come across something she thinks would look nice on me, she usually just blurts out "This would look nice on you" which sometimes leaves me in a bit of a spot lol Still, I can't complain ;)
LOL I do that to my husband all the time without thinking

[MissTee]

Wife is the only one that knows and, no, she usually does not address Misty in normal conversations. Since we both want to to keep dressing our little secret we feared using the name routinely would develop habit, and then habit would have a mishap around other people. Now, when we are off somewhere on a dress-up getaway, then my wife will call me Misty.

[Sarah Doepner]

Hey You! usually works here. Actually she has kind of gotten out of the habit of calling me Sarah when I'm en femme at our house, but remembers when we are out. The latter doesn't happen very often these days, so I'll have to pay attention. She does refer to Sarah when we are shopping and she sees something I might like, so it's just a matter of practice and practicality more than anything else.

[Deedee Skyblue]

When we are out shopping and come across something she thinks would look nice on me, she usually just blurts out "This would look nice on you" which sometimes leaves me in a bit of a spot lol Still, I can't complain ;)

I've never shopped with my wife, but I think that would actually be cool... I've always felt more comfortable with people finding out I dress when with a GG - that somehow makes it more OK with me.

Deedee

[Beverley Sims]

I always get called Bev, it is conveniently similar to my male name so as not to confuse.

[jenni_xx]

I don't remember how he worded out but pretty much "if they can tell I'm a guy I atleast want them to think hey at least he pulls it off"

That's a great outlook. Sounds like he has a great approach :)

[5150 Girl]

Freinds who me me in fem use the apropriate pronouns and name.... However there are some long timers who can't get used to the idea.

[withasmile]

@ Not Linda :-) - think you need to be direct and say I would like you to call me by.. Hints don't work. And if she doesn't want to, please respect that. For me, it seems a bit schizophrenic. And weird because on one hand you want me to believe you are 'the same person on the inside' but on the other you want me to call you something other than how I have always known you. Sort of a mixed message. At any rate, my H has never identified a name I should use. Usually would say , nahhh, when I asked if there was one or suggested one. Though lately, Alexa was deemed 'nice.' :-) I still have no idea if that is a yes. Would love a more direct answer, but I suspect at this point my H doesn't know himself what he/she wants.

[janet p]

When Iuse to visit Just You regularly in drab or femme Iwas always called by my CD name.

[StevieTV]

The guy I'm seeing presently calls me Stephanie. He only sees me when I'm dressed.

[Roberta Lynn]

My wife always calls me Bob. She is very supportive of my need to dress and I dress around her quite often. We both know I'm the same person no matter how I'm dressed, just a more feminine version sometimes.

I think that by using my male name it helps her cope with having a crossdressing husband.

My feminine name is just an accessory it just adds to the presentation, sort of like a cute pair of earrings or a nice pair of pumps. I wouldn't mind if she used it but it's not that important to me, in fact would probably seem a little weird, at least at first.

[suchacutie]

Always! My gendered selves are very different and we both want it that way. There is never a question about which gendered self is present and Tina is always that part of me that is feminine.

[LilSissyStevie]

Stevie is just a diminutive form of my given name. It's her pet name for me regardless of how I'm dressed. That keeps it simple, I suppose.

[Mikkigurll]

My wife always refers to me as Mike when I'm in drab or is talking to someone who doesn't know who Mikki is. When I'm dressed, it's Mikki. She uses he/she in the proper place. When shopping or we are talking about my being a cd, we refer to Mikki in the third person. It is the same way with my our daughter and son-in-law.

[ReineD]

I also call my SO by her female name when she's dressed. I refer to her as "she" here when I think of her dressed, and "he" when I think of him in guy mode. The gender neutral pronouns (hir, ze, ne, ve, ey, etc) would be best but I think they are cumbersome. It's hard to break the habit of using "he" or "she" when typing, also many people are not familiar with these pronouns and would read them as typos. :p

This is interesting: my SO told me about the crossdressing as soon as we began dating and for about one year I was afraid to call him by his male name when he was in male mode. I never knew how s/he was feeling internally or whether s/he resented being in guy mode (it turns out s/he wasn't), so I avoided using any name. lol

[Brittany CD]

Good question. I'd probably prefer to be called by my own name

[Nikkigurl21]

I would love to be called Nikki when I'm dressed up, being treated like a beautiful woman is something I would love to experience!

[SarahFxoxo]

Whenever im dressed im usually refered to as she or "Sarah". I think even for the other people its weird to refer to someone who looks female by a males name.

[DebbieL]

Yes, absolutely. But then again, she knows that I'm TS, Debbie I'd always the inside Rex is the mask, the "Clark Kent", Debbie is the powerful creature, different from others, but, Debbie is the core of who I am.