BreenaDion
02-02-2013, 08:47 AM
So referring to my recent request of the Court to change my names I had to fill out the last form, Return of Service...for Notice of Petition Name Change. The ad was advertised in the legal notice section of the local newspaper and I waited until they stopped running it to file more paper work. Being so depressed lately I donate a specific day to do things and this was to be Friday.
I sat at my desk and filled out the form and notice my handwriting has change. Its not so sloppy, just straight up and very neat with patience for penmanship, like that is a first. I hate my names as we all should but this drive is to change my last name means SO MUCH MORE THAN THE FIRST ONE. PTSD in this case wins over GD for I have had to do self hypnosis to deal living with this birth defect. For 46 years I have had to endure the disgust of having his name. NOT ANY MORE!!!
Got to court and presented the Return of Service with a copy of whole page of newspaper containing the ad in legal notice. The clerk promptly told me that this will be done administratively and they will notify me by mail. I said OMG I don't have to set a court date, she said no. So releaved now its out of my hands, baring no one objects to my petition. As I left the Court House grounds and to drive some 30 miles home the tears constantly dripping with a often mild whimper of emotions. Thinking where do I go next, to see my spouse of 25 yrs and relay the good news. I need to celebrate but first I have to tell her the news.
She works at a Salvation Army Family Store here in town and EVERY one , some 30 people that work at the most profitable store in Massachusetts know I am a TS. It is where I have also made friends because they are so excepting, even one that has one drink or so and gets either in my face or on top of me for a Kiss and always infront of my spouse. LOL shes ok just like to flirt a lot . Peep in the employes door and ask for Moe. her nickname and a bunch of the girls always wave and say hi to me.
This place was busy today with a crowded store of customers as I told her of today's news. I was so excited and relaid the info to her with expectations of a party soon after. Damn if she just didn't openly yak and was so indifferent of my feelings for the whole store to listen in. S**T ......MY brain at the moment threw a SWITCH and STEALTH took over. Split second later I hushed her up and a new page in my head just turned for I understood why. That sense of people knowing your past now is not a good thing anymore. There is a couple women in this housing community that I am friends with , and thinking who am I kidding I do the best not to say about Trans anything and its hard to maneuver around a subject you won't want to go to. I don't mind outing myself only in legal or medical reasons for I have to but it s*cks.
I returned a short time later to pick her up after work and to have nice lunch. On the way she just depressed me so much that I felt hurt and passed the restaurant and she apologized and quickly turned around. We didn't stay to long and made the drinks short for we had to pick up our son at the bus stop as we didn't change school system for his last year.
Another conversation didn't go well our son for he is failing one subject and wants to attend a Tech school for gaming, as the more his O.D.D. turns up I can't argue because of PTSD and I shut down and zone out and turn my mp3 player full blast for the longest time. I had to stop the car immediately and have Moe drive. She stopped at Stop and Shop and got a couple thing as I sat hunched down in the seat for I just am so incapacitated when a stressful situation takes over. .
Our son apologized and as I was in my safe place, she gave me a bouquet of flowers and in a few minute after I was ok we had cake saying " Congratulations Breena Dion *****, and yes I decided to use my sign in name as in many websites for its kinds rare. People react positively to Breena saying different positive remarks for its a remake of Brian.
So I had a bitter sweet day and now a new chapter of self, Transitioning for soon is the start of R.L.E. kinda been there the last 20 months for I have lets say more than 24/7. I was really living it. 2 I now have the starting of the real term Stealth as this is finally getting behind me , one slow step at a time. The need to hush it and don't speak it is so prevalent making me think more like others that its a birth defect as apposed to being an abomination .
sorry but hope you enjoyed a story.
I sat at my desk and filled out the form and notice my handwriting has change. Its not so sloppy, just straight up and very neat with patience for penmanship, like that is a first. I hate my names as we all should but this drive is to change my last name means SO MUCH MORE THAN THE FIRST ONE. PTSD in this case wins over GD for I have had to do self hypnosis to deal living with this birth defect. For 46 years I have had to endure the disgust of having his name. NOT ANY MORE!!!
Got to court and presented the Return of Service with a copy of whole page of newspaper containing the ad in legal notice. The clerk promptly told me that this will be done administratively and they will notify me by mail. I said OMG I don't have to set a court date, she said no. So releaved now its out of my hands, baring no one objects to my petition. As I left the Court House grounds and to drive some 30 miles home the tears constantly dripping with a often mild whimper of emotions. Thinking where do I go next, to see my spouse of 25 yrs and relay the good news. I need to celebrate but first I have to tell her the news.
She works at a Salvation Army Family Store here in town and EVERY one , some 30 people that work at the most profitable store in Massachusetts know I am a TS. It is where I have also made friends because they are so excepting, even one that has one drink or so and gets either in my face or on top of me for a Kiss and always infront of my spouse. LOL shes ok just like to flirt a lot . Peep in the employes door and ask for Moe. her nickname and a bunch of the girls always wave and say hi to me.
This place was busy today with a crowded store of customers as I told her of today's news. I was so excited and relaid the info to her with expectations of a party soon after. Damn if she just didn't openly yak and was so indifferent of my feelings for the whole store to listen in. S**T ......MY brain at the moment threw a SWITCH and STEALTH took over. Split second later I hushed her up and a new page in my head just turned for I understood why. That sense of people knowing your past now is not a good thing anymore. There is a couple women in this housing community that I am friends with , and thinking who am I kidding I do the best not to say about Trans anything and its hard to maneuver around a subject you won't want to go to. I don't mind outing myself only in legal or medical reasons for I have to but it s*cks.
I returned a short time later to pick her up after work and to have nice lunch. On the way she just depressed me so much that I felt hurt and passed the restaurant and she apologized and quickly turned around. We didn't stay to long and made the drinks short for we had to pick up our son at the bus stop as we didn't change school system for his last year.
Another conversation didn't go well our son for he is failing one subject and wants to attend a Tech school for gaming, as the more his O.D.D. turns up I can't argue because of PTSD and I shut down and zone out and turn my mp3 player full blast for the longest time. I had to stop the car immediately and have Moe drive. She stopped at Stop and Shop and got a couple thing as I sat hunched down in the seat for I just am so incapacitated when a stressful situation takes over. .
Our son apologized and as I was in my safe place, she gave me a bouquet of flowers and in a few minute after I was ok we had cake saying " Congratulations Breena Dion *****, and yes I decided to use my sign in name as in many websites for its kinds rare. People react positively to Breena saying different positive remarks for its a remake of Brian.
So I had a bitter sweet day and now a new chapter of self, Transitioning for soon is the start of R.L.E. kinda been there the last 20 months for I have lets say more than 24/7. I was really living it. 2 I now have the starting of the real term Stealth as this is finally getting behind me , one slow step at a time. The need to hush it and don't speak it is so prevalent making me think more like others that its a birth defect as apposed to being an abomination .
sorry but hope you enjoyed a story.