It's official. My wife has found out about "Jen"

[Jenara]

Well tonight I told my wife about "Jen" and the response was simply amazing.

She just smiled and asked if there was anything she could do to help me. She reaffirmed her love and commitment to me.

In my heart I felt she was going to react this way, but I guess you just never know until it happens.

Anyways it's a relief that I am out to her, and now I can get moving towards getting my clothes to start dressing.

Can we say WHEW!

[Lady Catherine]

Good for you. Glad to hear everything went well for you. Remember, don't go to fast at first, give her time to let it all sink in.

[Jenniferathome]

..., and now I can get moving towards getting my clothes to start dressing.

SLOW DOWN! Baby steps Jen. Talk about everything BEFORE you do anything. Take care,

[justmetoo]

That's great! Like you said, you don't always know for sure how people will react when it comes right down to it. I'm glad you got such a positive response. I think a good way to keep that going is to keep showing your love and appreciation for her as well. :)

[Diversity]

Great to hear! You are sooooo lucky! I am happy for you both. Enjoy your 'new' lives together - I wish you many great times ahead.
Di

[Kathy4ever]

Feels better that you opened up to her doesn't. You might think the hardpart is done, but I think there many landmines to maneuver. I'm newly out too but I still feel I have to tip toe around. I guess being so secretive for so long has made me be this way. At this point she is okay with it but doesn't want anything to do with it. So tonight she was going out and with a friend and she says she needs liquid eyeliner that a pencil is not working well. So I go up and get my gel liner for her to use and I do it try to hide from her friend and my wife lets it out of the bag. She said you don't have to hide and I'm like I thought you don't want to see it. So she gives mix messages. Maybe she will get to a point and participate, but you knos. Good luck!!!!

[Nicole Erin]

Well, the worst part is over as far as the revelation goes. There may be ups and downs but no longer need to hide.

I would say one thing I did that was kind of a mistake - when I first-first told my wife (more like showed her I was wearing hose under my jeans) it went over bad but when we had a more "official" talk about it some time later, it went well. Thing was, I was wanting to dress up all the time and she didn't care for it.
Just take things slow, find out what she can "tolerate" and take things from there. maybe she doesn't care how you dress all the time or maybe it is OK sometimes etc...

As many will say - it isn't "over", things could go better or worse but it isn't an overnight thing. Just have to see how things play out.
In the meantime, if she is approving, it is a good idea to get dressing tips from her. I think the most important part if she approves is this - make SURE she feels she can be a part of it. Wanna go out en femme? invite her. Need dressing advice? Consult her. I am guessing approving SO's probably accept better if they are part of the process.

thing is, my being TG eventually was a big element of our eventual divorce. That is a worst case scenario though. The long story is beyond the scope of this reply.

[Jenara]

She's already been looking up stuff online she thinks I might want. I'm not trying to rush it but she is diving in head first for me.

[Stevie]

Good to hear for you. Take it slow but it sounds like she likes the idea of you dressing

[giuseppina]

Congrats, Jenara.


...Anyways it's a relief that I am out to her, and now I can get moving towards getting my clothes to start dressing. ...

You may win some brownie points if you restrict yourself to one or two new items per month. Please don't let the pink fog sour your wife on crossdressing.

[~Joanne~]

Well tonight I told my wife about "Jen" and the response was simply amazing.

She just smiled and asked if there was anything she could do to help me. She reaffirmed her love and commitment to me.

In my heart I felt she was going to react this way, but I guess you just never know until it happens.

Anyways it's a relief that I am out to her, and now I can get moving towards getting my clothes to start dressing.

Can we say WHEW!

Take it slow, give her time to soak it all in, do not flaunt it every minute of the day, and for god's sake, if you go shopping for yourself, shop for her too!

It's easy to get sucked into the pink fog at this point as now you want all the things you couldn't get on your own or such but you don't want to overburden your wife. I admit, I always kind of knew my SO wouldn't have a problem with this, as she never had a problem with the pantyhose before all of this came to light, but your never really sure until the time comes. Congratulations on an easy "coming out". I hope you find everything your looking for and I hope both you and your wife will have some fun with it all as my SO and I do. Best wishes .

[Nicole Erin]

She's already been looking up stuff online she thinks I might want. I'm not trying to rush it but she is diving in head first for me.

HAHAHAH! :D This would be a unique case of "My CD'ing husband is moving too slow" hahah

But that aside, allow me to give a bit of fashion advice if i may -
if you are under 40 and not too big, give the stores "Deb" and "Dots" a look. Reasonable priced decent quality clothes that are fashionable. Trendy for the younger crowd.
Oh wait hold on, don't say anything.... what have we here? there are DOTS and Deb stores in Pittsburg. Oh and don't forget "forever21, charlotte Russe, and a few other trendy shops. Just mind the material of some clothes, some things shrink in the wash.

BUT - as i said before, see what places your wife would like to shop as well. Man, you two are in for some good times. She is now your wife AND shopping buddy. You two might even be sharing outfits.

I mean yeah take things a step at a time but it SOUNDS like you two are off to an excellent start.

[Jenara]

HAHAHAH! :D This would be a unique case of "My CD'ing husband is moving too slow" hahah

But that aside, allow me to give a bit of fashion advice if i may -
if you are under 40 and not too big, give the stores "Deb" and "Dots" a look. Reasonable priced decent quality clothes that are fashionable. Trendy for the younger crowd.
Oh wait hold on, don't say anything.... what have we here? there are DOTS and Deb stores in Pittsburg. Oh and don't forget "forever21, charlotte Russe, and a few other trendy shops. Just mind the material of some clothes, some things shrink in the wash.

BUT - as i said before, see what places your wife would like to shop as well. Man, you two are in for some good times. She is now your wife AND shopping buddy.

Unfortunately I AM on the bigger side, though I have been losing weight. She's big in the chest but petite elsewhere. So we'll be shopping different places for sure. She always hates clothes shopping because she never finds things in her size easily. I'm hoping she doesn't hold that against me if I find female clothing easier than her ;-)

[Tracii G]

Really happy for you Jen be sure to let her know how special she is!!!

[Lorileah]

Simply terrific! But have to agree with others here, breathe take it slow, don't burn out. This is going to be a fun and wild ride

[Jenara]

So just curious what everyone's opinions are for "going slow" when it comes to this.

[Amanda M]

I think you'll find from the experience of most of the girls here is that too much too soon can be disastrous. It really is the best possible advice, so that you both have time to adjust to this new facet of your relationship. Good luck!

[Beverley Sims]

A great leap forward for you but a few little hops and yes t a k e it s l o w l y until your wife has adjusted to the initial shock.
She may not show it yet but shock does take time to set in.
May the love and commitment continue.

[ReineD]

SLOW DOWN! Baby steps Jen. Talk about everything BEFORE you do anything. Take care,

This, this, THIS!

I've seen this happen. The CDer will think his wife is OK with everything because she knows now, so there are shopping excursions, forays into makeup, painting fingernails and maybe growing them, getting a wig, shaving legs, trimming eyebrows, clipping arm hair, maybe getting ears pierced, breast forms are purchased, waist cinchers, hip pads, more clothes, more shoes, posting pics online, femme profiles on facebook and flickr, more clothes, more shoes, more jewelry, wanting to go out, etc etc etc.

And in the meantime, the wife is completely overwhelmed while watching all of this and she thinks, "Oh my God, what's happening? I thought it was just about putting on a dress once in a while. Is he TRANSITIONING? Does he want a BOYFRIEND?"

Don't want to scare you or anything, but my SO went through this. And I reacted pretty much like the GG in my prior paragraph. And things got a little rocky in our relationship for awhile. Please, please get your wife's input on every little thing you want to change, BEFORE you do it. Don't assume that she'd be OK with growing out fingernails or shaving legs. These are big indications for GGs that their husbands want to feminize themselves and this takes it several steps up from just wearing a dress.

[andrea lace]

I only told my wife a month ago there is great advice on this forum. The advice to slow down is the best advice that I received but it was too hard for me to do. It was like Andrea had been kept in a prison (which was the closet) and once released I have spent every opportunity I could to dress up. My wife has done nothing but help me since I told her but remember everybody is different try keeping open lots of dialogue with her that has helped me and Breeze put our fears to rest. We are both laughing a lot these days getting on really well its like I have got my best friend back after taking each other for granted all these years.

[JBPerry]

She always hates clothes shopping because she never finds things in her size easily. I'm hoping she doesn't hold that against me if I find female clothing easier than her ;-)

If she does, but it is in jest, don't feel bad. My wife (although trying to lose it) is on the plus side and although I'm broad shouldered, I'm (in comparison to her) a skinny minnie. There are so many clothes that I have that she wishes that she had.

[Jenara]

My plan all along was a bra, some forms, and maybe some panties. No makeup, wigs, nails or anything like that. That was all part of the discussion. Mostly starting off with underdressing, which shouldn't be a huge jump for her.

I was very clear in the discussion about getting the forms to be sure she was okay with that and she was. I'm also prepared for her to change her mind upon seeing me in them.

[Wanna be Heather]

Good for you. Just remember one thing. Your wife needs a man in her life to treat her as a woman. Be watchfully for the signs and satisfy her feminine needs

Good luck

[Maria S]

And don't it feel good! Honesty is always the best policy it's less painful than if she found out another way. Cross dressing is with you to stay, it is a part of you.

Maria

[MsRenee]

Congrats girl. Like alot of other girls here have said. Now that the cat is out of the bag you need to go slow with her.Right now it might seem like all is alright but she probably has alot of questions that she has yet to ask you. If you throw everything out at once she may freak and just lose it. Baby steps are best for you 2.
Renee

[Jenniferathome]

Jen, "going slow" to means that absolutely everything you buy is first seen and approved by your wife. And that that item is discussed. It may sound silly to discuss a "bra" but it will give her the chance top ask why. When she sees your forms on line, she may ask why this size? It is just an opportunity to have her digest every art of this and at the same time, keeps you in check, so to say, on the volume of activity. Then, once you have your basics, ask her what she thinks of the collection. I guess in the end, the best you can do is never assume you know what she thinks. Never.

Good luck

[Shelly117]

Yay!!! I always love to hear that some women love their husbands no matter what!!

[Jenara]

Jen, "going slow" to means that absolutely everything you buy is first seen and approved by your wife. And that that item is discussed. It may sound silly to discuss a "bra" but it will give her the chance top ask why. When she sees your forms on line, she may ask why this size? It is just an opportunity to have her digest every art of this and at the same time, keeps you in check, so to say, on the volume of activity. Then, once you have your basics, ask her what she thinks of the collection. I guess in the end, the best you can do is never assume you know what she thinks. Never.

Good luck

I was starting to think you meant not doing anything for a few weeks or months. :-) I think you and I are on the same wavelength on this. More importantly I think the wife and I are on the same page. Ask first is a good policy considering our budget needs.

[suzy1]

My plan all along was a bra, some forms, and maybe some panties. No makeup, wigs, nails or anything like that. That was all part of the discussion. Mostly starting off with underdressing, which shouldn't be a huge jump for her.

I was very clear in the discussion about getting the forms to be sure she was okay with that and she was. I'm also prepared for her to change her mind upon seeing me in them.

Reine [and others] have given there usual excellent advice but it sounds like you are being sensible about this Jenara.

We will all be on tender hooks for a while but good luck.

Suzy

[Danielle tights]

I'm so pleased for you honey, I wish I could do the same but I know the outcome will not be well received. Hugs, ,Dani

[Ellanore G.G.]

Yes Baby steps. When my H told me I thought well whats wrong with him wanting to wear a dress now and again.
I bought him lots of fun stuff, and He loved it.
Well roll on 5 years of not realising , it was not just the odd dress.
There were temper tantrums, pleading, crying, every emotion i had was on the line.
We both gave mixed signals, one day I was ok , the next i was a big mess.
So In the end I told him the clothes or me. So all the clothes went, and the make up, and the shoes.
Then we lived happy ever after ? right ? WRONG.
Every day I watched My wonderful Husband die inside, like his soul was gone " I still get upset thinking about that "
So we done what we should have done in the first place, we talked, and talked and talked.
Oh and bought all new pretty stuff for BOTH of us. It really does take time for some wives to understand, that this is something he is, not just something he does.
He had 40 years before I knew, maybe we could have saved some heartache if we had just talked it all through.

[suzy1]

It really does take time for some wives to understand, that this is something he is, not just something he does.
He had 40 years before I knew, maybe we could have saved some heartache if we had just talked it all through.

There are wives and there are wives but you are something special.

[Allison2006]

When I first told my wife, she wasn't accepting at all. Told me I could keep my femme stuff but didn't want to see me in it. I kept it out of sight for a few years, never pushed the issue. Finally got around to discussing it with her againabout 4 years ago and found that somewhere along the line she had become accepting of it. She has been very supportive ever since.

[Ellanore G.G.]

Thank you Suzy1.

[renaej7]

That is awesome! I am happy for you. I know that is a huge sigh of relief. Enjoy every moment, I know I would.

[Annaliese]

Not to fast, slow down and think. Talk to her

[MyValentine]

Unfortunately I AM on the bigger side, though I have been losing weight. She's big in the chest but petite elsewhere. So we'll be shopping different places for sure. She always hates clothes shopping because she never finds things in her size easily. I'm hoping she doesn't hold that against me if I find female clothing easier than her ;-)

Sweetheart, I don't hate shopping. It's just frustrating when not many clothes are made for petite, large busted, not so skinny women (I'm sure some of the ladies on here can understand my frustration). I actually think it would be fun to go shopping together. Never thought you'd find shopping in the women's department fun....till now.
Thank you for being open and honest with me and for going slow paced, as we both get used to this new chapter of our lives.

I look forward to our next talk.

Love,
"Your"Valentine

[Rita58]

My wife is tolerant, but it had taken several years for her to get to that point. Stay sensitive to her feelings, and like so many others here have stated, go slow.

[Jodi Anne]

Great Jenara, I am so happy to hear this went well, way too many tear jerking post lately.