oops...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

So yesterday i went to Ulta...i had a 20% off coupon and i was looking for something to help me with skin discoloration...especially around where i still shave..

one of the consultants was talking to me and sharing a product which i recognized because my ex wife was a huge fan of it...

and what did i say?? you guessed it..

"ohhh i know that cream!!! my exwife loved it!!!"

there was actually not much reaction from the woman helping me and i just kept on keeping on....:doh::o:D:D:D

more importantly...i bought the stuff but i'm not sure it will help...

[Inna]

I have got the resolution! I believe it to work well with redness, as well there is a product by CLINIQUE caled red be gone, powdered form, very yellow, it does the job! My own approach is 4 steps but at the end it is nearly indistinguishable from the rest of the skin, and you will be surprised of the technique, as it is quite tricky, YES, there is a secret ingredient.

Darn, I should pack it and sell it for like a MILLION dollars!!!

As to the slip, I have found my self many times at EX WI....... however always caught it in time :)

[BreenaDion]

I don't know about cream or do I even care at this age and juncture , but I am totally mindful of accidental screw ups. I have and exwife and with her she mothered two kids. Am I the dad ? who the F*** knows. This is my second family and they are leaving the nest now. I am married and still conscious of those moments and all the time I have to maneuver around endless subjects that might out myself.
I stand and have stood on both sides of the track, literately all my life and still to this day. Say many decades of practice and I got it down fairly well. You will get it soon enough, have faith kid.

[Starling]

Habit is powerful, and everybody makes embarrassing slips.

:) Lallie

[CharleneT]

I do not think it is a big deal, or slip-up. Gay marriage is becoming more common and accepted. At times I refer to my "ex-wife" and don't usually get much of a reaction. I *do* live in Iowa though, strangely one of the more accepting places for such.

[Anne2345]

LOLOL!!! That's a good story, Kaitlyn!!

But D'OH!!!! :facepalm:

:)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Maybe its all interesting to say that in the moment, it was no big deal... my brain did think "OMG!!" but at the same time i really didn't care that much...it was just funny...

and i should remember that when my aunt calls me "he" ...its hard to forget

[Jorja]

I think we all do that to some extent in the beginning. Wait until 15-20 years go by and you slip up like that.:doh:

[Starling]

It's a good thing we're all "I/me," so at least we can't refer to ourselves by the wrong pronoun.

:) Lallie

[melissaK]

I'm sure the clerk was thinking "ah, the ex was the Dyke in the pair . . . " You should've bought some lipstick.

(The God of stereotyping forgive me - it was a JOKE; It's the same JOKE my friends made about me after my ex came out as a L. :-) )

[BreenaDion]

Maybe its all interesting to say that in the moment, it was no big deal... my brain did think "OMG!!" but at the same time i really didn't care that much...it was just funny...

and i should remember that when my aunt calls me "he" ...its hard to forget

This brings me back a bit, my motherinlaw of course. She in her mid 80's and to late for a change so now I just stay a way. She simply refuses to call me Breena and thinks this is all a choice. I can't argue or want to respond to some one so think headed, naive, stubborn and narrow minded. I respect my spouse and have no wish for any of her family gathering as I have missed 3 xmas family parties. I don't see any of my family except our daughter and son. I just can't take the Abuse, Humiliation and Stress connected to Gender Dysphoria as to pronouns or disrespecting what I am trying to achieve . Like the way I started transitioning, I had to remove myself from the Humiliation factor so I take necessary steps to avoid it. PTSD controls almost every aspect of my life and I am not finished with therapy yet for I am in a pause and waiting on all documents to be changed first. sorry

[Kaitlyn Michele]

dont be sorry !!!

some things that we deal with regarding gender dysphoria and neccessary, others are important and lots of stuff ends up being unimportant...its each of our challenges to do a good job evaluating our own needs..

for me i can definitely relate to avoiding some situations...those moments i avoid are in the "important" category and sometimes i just deal with things and move on...those moments include the family gatherings where my receptions is always wonderful, but its a group of people that i don't see alot, and there is alot of mistaken pronouns going on...

so i skip next weeks party at my cousin's bar and grill, but i wouldn't miss the family xmas party ...

prioritizing things in transition is just so important...given that i have kids, i will never ever get the "full treatment" of feeling and being female every single second... they really want to call me dad, and its ok with me....

given your specific situation Breena you seem to be making great progress and i hope you don't feel worse about yourself in any way...

[BreenaDion]

Don't get me wrong Kaitlyn it is just bad blood with her mom and I. I have done so much for her parents when we first met, business related of course. Had my own construction co for 26 yrs and after we got married and her mom moved to the cape it was down hill ina hurry. I have no regrets doing all that FREE and cheap work, for its family. I see Moe's 2 sisters and 2 brothers when the occasion arises but not so much to travel. Last autumn her bother Ricky and his wife Kathy are both very nice people and very respectful and excepting towards me. We went cycling the bike path in falmouth last oct. and even waited and hour for me as I was having trouble with a Flash back caused form a conversation about his mom. I just can't bring myself to be in the same building as her for any reason, for now. The less contact I have with any one causing me mental harm over G.D. is good for me no matter who they might be.

I just can't wait until I start seeing my Doctor again, I need to get over this badly. I have no 2 hour crying episodes where as you would believe someone was getting murdered. I have control over those now and I don't get effected in that way any more. THANK GOD! Just those little sh*t ones , so many a day so frustrating that I can't stop them only keep them from over taking me. I asked the dr in the middle of the treatments for PTSD last summer how I stand with others with this disorder, she replied " Terrible". Only bad thing was the worse was suppose to be behind me as what they say in treatment. Gets worse before you get better and it did but well SH*T if it just didn't hit the fan. After the car hit me last sept I tanked out and went to the hospital 2 days later for my first ever meds as the anxiety hit new all time highs

I saw my conundrum and took control best I could as I was going down were noone wants to go. Thanks for letting me share. :0)

[josee]

It's a good thing we're all "I/me," so at least we can't refer to ourselves by the wrong pronoun.

:) Lallie
Actually it is possible as the other day when someone called from the hair salon I go to and asked for Jesse. I said "This is him". I felt so offended I wanted to puke.

[Starling]

Josee, perhaps you should stop using pronouns altogether.

:) Lallie

[josee]

Josee, perhaps you should stop using pronouns altogether.

:) Lallie
Yea maybe.
Been thinking about it. I was at work where I have yet to come out. My birth name is Jesse. I was thinking about just keeping it cause it is kind of unisex, but maybe it would be better to make a break and at least go with Jessica or something else entirely.

[Rianna Humble]

That second option would be really interesting:

Q: What is your name

A: It's "something else entirely"

SCNR :heehee:

[Starling]

Sounds like a Spike Milligan line, Rianna.

:) Lallie

[melissaK]

@Josse. Maybe "Jessie". No one will hardly notice. You could save hundreds or more and just bypass a legal name change.
I'm thinking of just keeping my given name (not melissa or lissa) and start using an i for an e. But I really like Lissa.
There are a million Jessica's out there, especially in the 25-35 age range. Fun stuff to kick around!

[Starling]

What's wrong with "Gertrude"? Once upon a time (3:47 pm Tuesday, March 17, 1311, say) it was considered a majestic, and even royal, name.

I wonder if young Hamlet could have been MTF. It would explain a lot.

:heehee: Lallie